Walking along the path made me feel calmer and more at home. It may sound corny to some, but I tried to recall our moments in the past few months while I walk. They were simple yet sweet….

I was sitting at the swing, reading my favorite book, The Notebook, when I felt him walk towards me. I didn’t raise my head since I knew he’s simply kiss my forehead and say “Hi”. And he did. That was when I looked at him and saw that he had this silly looking yellow and blue blanket on one of his hand and another box on the other. I raised my brows.

He put the box down and spread the blanket with Simpson’s Bart’s face. He laid the blanket on my lap and said, “You shouldn’t be outside at this windy weather. You might catch a cold.”

“I wanted to concentrate on reading this book and felt that it will be more romantic if I sat here.”

“I could have stayed with you,” he said and winked at me.

“What’s with the blanket, I mean, Simpson?” I tried to change the topic.

He laughed and answered, “It’s one of my hyung’s collection and he gave it to me as a gift. Not sure what he meant by gifting it when he’s the one who like Bart the most.” He ended it with a silly look on his face, looking like a little lost boy.

I found him very cute at those moments and decided to pinch his cheeks. He laughed.

“Your hyung must be like one of my officemate, Krystal. She would usually have this same blanket and I’d wake up from my afternoon nap with it covering me, sometimes.”

“Uhhhmmm.. got to be.. aaaah, trend… Yeah! That… So, I got you some cupcakes here.” And then picked up the box which now looked more familiar with its box.

I squeaked. It was my favorite brand of chocolate cupcake. I immediately asked if I could have one and was soon munching on it. The book totally forgotten. I’d get crumbles on my face and he’d wipe it off.

It was those days that I will hold onto so I won’t ever waver or doubt. Though there has been no clear discussion of how we want to proceed with our relationship, I knew that we have already jumped from being the Pretend Couple, to something else.

By the time I have reached my favorite spot by the bench, I could hear the chirping of the birds and in my memory, the sound of Jonghyun’s voice and his guitar playing.

I thought of random thoughts and did not realize that I have fallen asleep. When I did wake up, I was not surprised to see Krystal standing next to me, holding that yellow Simpson blanket that I usually wake up to being covered with, and about to put on top of me again. 

“You said you’re all good.”

“I am. I just felt I needed time.” I said, not knowing how to best explain my need for solitude.

“I understand. Have I ever told you why I believe in love?” She said, looking straight ahead with a glassy look on her face.

“Nope, not yet.”

“Aren’t you even going to ask,” she raised her knees and laid her head to it, just like a kid asking for her mom to listen to her story.

“Tell me, why do you believe in it?”

“Because I have seen it and how it changes a person. It is so beautiful and magnificent. It also taught me to trust. What may seem black to us can actually be white.” I did not interrupt because at that moment, she seemed to have entered a different world and I get to watch it through her story.

There was this one guy who was never passionate about anything, except his camera. He was talented and musically inclined but denied this talent. He was smart in business but was totally not interested with it. He declared that he will only be with his photos and he will be happy. Everyone believed in him and let him do what he wanted. He was dedicated to it and his world revolved around it. He was too famous for it. Until one day, he came home and told everyone he was quitting. No one knew why, what happened and everyone started to doubt him. It felt to them, the he had let go of some amazing opportunities.

They later on found out that the guy’s reason for changing was because of a woman. He fell in love and he was now simply happy to watch the woman he loves from afar.

He would also do simple gestures for her without her knowledge. He would cover her with his own hand me down blanket when he sees her shiver in the cold. But he would always make sure to leave before anyone or the girl catches him. He would leave an umbrella by the lobby of office that would be easy to spot for her so she won’t get wet under the rain. He would also leave extra cupcakes from her favorite shop of her favorite flavor for her to munch on. He did all this, or sometimes with an accomplice, unknown to the girl, knowing that the girl he loves was actually going through some tough time and that when time comes, he can reveal himself.

“Wouldn’t that be creepy,” I asked.

“Haha, yes, it may be so but there was a reason on why he did what he did. You see, the girl he loves has trust issues. She was betrayed and let’s just say, she got burned. He wanted to earn her trust first before revealing himself.”

I grew curious but at the same time suspicious.

“He stayed by her side without her knowing. All this time, doing things solely because he feels that that is what she needed.” She sighed. “And you know what’s the most amazing part is, he has never looked happier than when he would see her smile. Not when he was taking his winning shots, not when he traveled, not when he had fame for his works. He looked the happiest when he would see her from afar and with her smile. It was enough for him.”

The story did not somehow made any sense to me but the way Krystal said it, there was a nagging feeling that I was missing something and that in a way, she was making a very valid point. Just that it was not fully revealed to me.

“I’m not quite sure I am understanding.”

She laughed and said. “Sorry, I tend to get carried away. I also got lost and couldn’t get back to my point.” She blushed at that.

“I felt as if there was something I was missing and that if I caught on to it, I would understand better.”

“I don’t know how to best put it anymore since I got lost but maybe this will help. We just simply trust, because, like the guy in the story, he had his reasons for doing things. And they are reasons not clear but well meant.”

She shrugged at that and in a way, I kind of got her point.

To stress to her that I understood. I held her hand and said, “I am no longer worried, the tides and waves will come but I will be steadfast. You’ll come help me, won’t you?”

We both grinned at each other and a few moments later, decided it was time for us to get back.

By the time we got back, a few of the employees were already either out for the day or were on an out of the office activity. I heard my stomach grumble and headed for the pantry and one of the cupboards.

Krystal followed right behind me and said, “there should be a chocolate cupcake inside the refrigerator that you can eat. It’s for you.” And then she was gone.

Indeed I saw the cupcake and started to munch on it. I sat by the table and at that moment, I remembered what Krystal said. The nagging feeling never leaving me.

She said in the story something about a blanket, an umbrella, a cupcake and a girl with trust issues. It was still not making any sense when I remembered something. Krystal was Team Lead’s niece, Jonghyun was his nephew and Krystal has a brother. She mentioned in her story that she saw the story with her own eyes.

I don’t know why but I felt like I was slowly completing a puzzle and that, I can finally get the answer to the nagging feeling that I have.

I stood up and quickly went to my desk. I got a notepad and started writing what I have already pieced in my mind. I then started to add a few more hints here and there.

He knew about my past, he seems to know my own parents, he has a photo of me, he knew about Amber. Then it suddenly hit me, what he said to Yoona at that time in the restaurant, “I first heard the Tears That Didn't Fall played by a yellow dressed girl with her guitar. Don’t think I don’t know the truth.”

He knew me. HE ABSOLUTELY KNEW ME! I couldn’t explain the feeling. Like my reaction when Krystal told me the story, shouldn’t I be creeped out? But what I felt at the moment was very far from it. These were all speculations but there was this tiny voice inside, telling me that I am more right than wrong.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest until I get to truth. And the only way to find them out is to either ask him, but he was not around, or to ask the people around us.

I just knew who to ask.