There was a week left before school started. I was feeling a bit queasy because this was going to be my senior year. I didn't have a big group of friends like you would see on TV. I didn't have my own clique. I just had a few friends or should I say acquaintances. They were similar to me- quiet, reserved and very independent. Because they were like me, they too didn't really go out and chose to stay home. We didn't hang out much but we do talk to one another and share notes. 

My closest friend, Carmen, was pretty much the opposite of me. She didn't go to the same high school as me but we were friends since elementary school. She lived a few streets away from me so we pretty much grew up together. Carmen was very similar to Eun Sang. She loved fashion and make-up. Carmen is also a Korean-American so she communicated with my parents very well. We frequently speak Korean to each other for fun. Both of parents encouraged us to do this as well because they wanted us to maintain our native tongues. Carmen has had her fair share of boyfriends. She was pretty experienced in the dating world. She was pretty and very down to earth so guys were always asking her out. 

Carmen never understood why I never had a boyfriend. She always tried to introduce me to her guy friends from her school but I always rejected. I didn’t like blind dates or meeting mutual friends. I felt awkward about it and it was strange to me especially if it was her friends. She would constantly monitor our relationship and I had felt the pressure even before it started. 

Although Carmen and I are very different, I consider her my closest friend because she’s one of the only people I can be truly comfortable with. She makes me laugh and maybe it’s because I knew her since I was a kid but I could without a doubt say that I trust her wholeheartedly.

Baekhyun and I continued to talk for several days. We hadn’t video chatted since the first day I got back because he was too busy at work. I felt a bit disappointed every time he told me he couldn’t be able to make it to our video calls.

He and I set up this little system. We would talk via messaging every day whenever we could. I thought it sounded a bit obsessive in the beginning but I found myself always messaging him even if he wasn’t on his phone. I would comment on random things like what I was doing or if anything interesting happened. It was especially difficult for the both of us because when I was awake, he would be asleep and vise versa. So I would wake up with dozens of messages of what he’s doing and what he’s eating. It made me happy in the morning but as the day went by, I felt sad because I wouldn’t get a reply. But I assumed Baekhyun understood as well because he wouldn’t get replies from me either when he was messaging me. The only time we were both awake was when it was really late at night for me and really early in the morning for him. 

School didn’t start for me yet so I didn’t have to sleep at a certain time. However for Baekhyun, he had to wake up early in the morning anyways for work so we mutually agreed that that was the time we would dedicate our communication time to. Baekhyun settled a day off with his supervisor: he would take Saturdays off. That way, when school started I could stay up a bit later because of the weekend and he could have a free day for us to video chat. 

We hadn’t actually started this yet because his new schedule wouldn’t be used until next week. I was a bit anxious to see him again. Many of the feelings that I felt during this time was all new to me. Like I said, I never had a boyfriend before nor had I’d ever felt any romantic feelings towards someone else so everything that I have been feeling was so new to me. I didn’t know if it was normal or not to miss someone so much. I secretly wished that I had dated before so I could at least know if I was being too emotional. I found myself always checking my phone for messages, which I never really did. Usually on my days off, I would sleep until noon and watch movies and play games but I found myself waking up early so that I could wish Baekhyun a good night. 

I didn’t know if I was changing myself too much but looking back, I knew I was. I never cared about my appearance like fashion and make up but I found myself looking at cosmetics whenever I was out. Before meeting Baekhyun, I wouldn’t really go shopping unless I absolutely needed something but I found myself actually checking out stores for something cute.

Looking back now, I wasn’t so surprised that I was changing. In every relationship, both people would find themselves changing. Whether it was through patience or interests, both would change somewhat to adjust to their partner. I knew Baekhyun didn’t care much about what I wore or how I looked but I felt sub-conscious about myself after I left. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that many Korean girls around our age were really pretty or they cared a lot about their appearance. I saw the way they looked and was a bit defeated when I realized that they were more pretty than me. Thoughts of him growing tired of me kept flooding through my mind. I was afraid that he would forget about me and chase after a person he could actually be with.

And that thought scared me. A lot.

So I found myself trying to change myself to fit into some idealistic girlfriend who was pretty and sweet. I would be caring and thoughtful.

And now that I look back at how I changed, I’m grateful that my relationship with Baekhyun changed me to a more compassionate person. I started to volunteer more, I smiled more and I even started to make more friends.

But like I said, when our relationship started to shake, so did my personality. I started to shut myself out again and that’s when things truly changed.

---

I got out of the shower and wore a light t-shirt with the cardigan that Baekhyun had bought me. Even though it was a bit thick and it was really hot outside, I wanted to wear it because it was a reminder of who I had in my life. 

I was meeting up with Carmen for the first time since I came back. We were having a girls day out. I was putting in my wallet and keys into my purse when I heard the doorbell ring. I smiled.

“Eun-ah! Carmen is here!” my mother shouted from the door

“Coming!” I replied. I grabbed my phone from my bed and left my room

“Eunnie! You look so different!” Carmen smiled. Eunine sounded like Unnie, which is a Korean name that younger girls call an older girl, relatively a sister or a close friend. I was older than Carmen by a month and in America, age isn’t a big deal, but Carmen enjoys calling me Eunnie as an inside joke.

“What’s different?” I pouted

“I don’t know.. your hair? your skin? Something about you is different” she said

Yeah, I got a boyfriend I thought

"Cute cardigan though" she said

I gave her a small smile "Thanks"

We left the house after bidding my mother goodbye. Carmen linked her arm through mine as we made our way down the street.

“So tell me about your trip in Korea. You rarely texted me” she whined

“I don’t really text anyone, you know that”

“I know but I thought you would because you’re in a whole different country and I missed you! Didn’t you miss me?” she asked

I nodded “I sort of did”

She scoffed “You’re lucky you’re my best friend or else I’d leave you”

I gave her a small smile. Best friend. 

I wasn't big on having a best friend. Mostly because I always found myself getting let down by others so I'd much rather be alone than go through the hurt and pain that others may put upon me. But I knew Carmen was a very special person to me. Out of all my friends, she was the only one who stuck by me despite my cold personality. However, because of Carmen, I learned how to depend on others. I grew to depend on her and I learned how to depend on Baekhyun. I learned the true meaning of friendship through her first. 

We headed to our favorite restaurant and ate lunch together. She was telling me all the gossip from her high school and dirt on our middle school friends. I wasn’t too interested in that but she enjoyed telling me so I listened. Of course, my mind was somewhere else.. or rather on someone else.

“And so Samantha pretty much broke up with Tommy so that she could go out with Joseph. Isn’t that crazy?!” Carmen exclaimed

I blinked. I realized I hadn’t paid any attention to the whole story.

“You weren’t listening, were you?” Carmen asked

I shook my head “Sorry”

Carmen sighed “It’s okay. So tell me about South Korea. Did you meet any of those k-pop idols?”

I gave her a look “Even if I had, I probably wouldn’t even recognize them”

Carmen nodded “That’s true. But seriously tell me about your trip!”

I bit my lip. I knew I was going to tell Carmen about my new relationship but it felt so weird to say.

“Well.. you remember when I messaged you about boy advice?”

Carmen nodded and took a sip of her juice

“Well uh.. he and I are sort of..”

Carmen gestured me to go on

“Well we’re dating now” I blurted

Carmen choked on her drink

“W-Wait.. W-What?!” she asked as she was wiping

“He and I are dating now” I said

“W-Who is he? What’s his name? How does he look like?” she rambled

“His name-“

“So you’re in a long distance relationship?”

I nodded “Yeah-“

“This is crazy! Your first relationship and it’s a long distance?”

“I know it-“

“Wow, my Eun finally settled down with a guy..”

I gave her a small glare 

“So tell me who he is!”

I sighed “His name is Byun Baekhyun. He’s our age”. I took my phone out and showed her a picture of us when we bought charms together.

“Wow, he’s kind of cute” she said

I smiled “Yeah.. I guess”

Carmen made a face “I can’t believe you went out and got a boyfriend! This is just too much for me right now”

I gave her a small smile “I know and I’m still adjusting to it right now.. it’s all new to me too”

“I just hope you’re going to be okay”

“What do you mean?”

“Well it’s a long distance relationship. Not many of them work out, you know? I mean I have faith in you but just be careful”

“I know”

“I hope he make you happy. If he ever makes you cry, I’ll beat him up!” she declared

I laughed “I’ll make to tell him that”

It took a while for Carmen to kind of understand where I was coming from with this whole new relationship situation. She knew I was scared about it all because Baekhyun was my first real boyfriend. She knew I wasn't confident about myself because of how I usually am. She understood my worries, my happiness and my sadness. She gave me advice about love and encouraged me to try new things.  

And when things ended, she was the first person I ran to. 

(A/N): Just kind of want to introduce a new character, Carmen! She's not going to be a BIG character in this story but she will appear once in a while (especially because she's Eun Mi's/your best friend) 

Carmen is kind of like the opposite of Eun Mi; she's outgoing, very friendly and has dating experience. She's reliable and confident. That's all I'll be saying about Carmen but her character will be developed more as the story progresses :)

Also wanted to point out the communication system between Eun Mi and Baekhyun because it will be important! I'll emphasis is more as we get deeper into the story!

Thanks everyone for reading, subscribing and commenting ^^