~ i opened the rooftop door , as she took a few steps inside , she widened her eyes amazed at the preparations that i did for tonight special dinner ~ 

  ------------------------------------------------ ( flashback # )    i stared deeply at my wine glass bored , i was with my manager unnie attending a fashion event , sitting with her on a table .. the table across the room got a bunch of female celebrities ..    shinhye was one of those celebrities , my relationship with her wasn't that deep , just that known friendship between her and yonghwa got my attention , so i greet her every now and then ..    what got me uncomfortable that my delusional mind keeps me thinking that all celebrities on that table including shinhye are giving me disgusted glances !! they keep on whispering and nodding while pointing at me ! i'm sure i've never done anything wrong to them , i barely recognize their faces anyway .. i was a little troubled by those delusions ..   i excused my self to the restroom later in that evening , and it was fate that i met shinhye while she was washing her hands ..    i bowed slightly greeting her and she recognized my greeting nodding ..    i took out my lip gloss from my clutch bag , looking at my reflection in the mirror and applying it .. my eyes although concentrating on my lips , but shinhye disgusted glance toward me appeared in my field of vision .. i kept thinking how delusional i'm to think that way ..    " you don't need to put on makeup " she said to me , and i tilted my head confused , is that a compliment !   she took closer steps toward me " you're already too fake " she said whispering with a smirk on her face    i got a shock , my blood was drained from my body suddenly ! is that a joke ?   " what ... are you saying ?" i said stuttering as i turned around looking at her widening my eyes    " have a break please , and stop acting innocent " she said with a serious tone    i looked at her questioning as i don't understand what's going on !!    she took steps to leave , she gave me a last glance saying " your face got me sick ! anyway i'm just thankful that you're a joke that'll end soon "    what was that ! i still don't know what was she talking about !! i've never talked to her more than 3 lines in total in  my whole life , when exactly did i get on her nerves !!    i got a little dizzy from the over humiliation i got today , it was my first time someone talking like that to me    as i got back to my seat , i stared at her while she was excusing her self to leave ..    suddenly a waiter almost got trapped and a glass of wine in his hand fell all over my yellow dress !! it was embarrassing so i kept my reaction low and steady .. he apologized to me countless times and my manager unnie got teary eyes from the shock , she started to breath in and out deeply trying to calm her self down and to find a solution for this disaster ..    i just thought how possibly can i get out from this event without anyone noticing my dress miserable state , especially media who's their camera's lenses are directed everywhere    " i got it , i'll get you a scarf from the van " my manager said as she snapped a finger .. i nodded at her     shinhye took a steps to leave the event , as she passed next to me , she smiled as if greeting me but she actually said " see your state now ? the real you is more miserable than this "    i froze as i heard those , i couldn't even defense my self as i don't even understand what i have done wrong , and i thought was it really my bad luck that the waiter almost trapped beside me or did she plan it !!    i thought about it logically , what is the possibility of this being related to my relationship with yonghwa ?    ------------------------------------------------     ( flashback - SNSD dorm )    i tried calling yonghwa's phone (( the phone you have called .... ))    this is the 5th day that i didn't hear his voice , his phone is turned off since then , i asked jungshin about him and he told me that they're preparing for the new album so he's a little busy ..   i was a little disappointed at this , i thought he would miss me even when he's busy , just a message would do .. i couldn't relax as it was the first time he acts like that .. suddenly i remembered when i met him in japan and how he pleaded to keep the calls going on even if we're dead busy , as i remembered japan i remembered our kiss too .. i miss him ..i touched my lips and my cheeks got warm at the thought .. i really miss him    " YONGSEOBANG !!! " i heard my unnies shouting at the living room excited .. could it be !! no way !!    i jumped from my bed in hurry and almost got trapped , i hurried to open my room door but then i noticed my reflection on the mirror, oh god !! what's wrong with my hair .. i brushed it with my hand in a hurry , i bit my lips multiple times to get a natural cherry color , i slapped my cheeks to get them a lively tone , a knock on my door and DONE !!    i opened my room door , and i saw him , he looked really tired with his face almost white ..    he smiled the moment he saw me with a tired smile    " who are you ? i think you mistook the address after all " i said acting like i don't know him , eye siding him and acting sulky    " i'm searching for someone , can you help me ?"    " who are you searching for ?" i looked into his eyes , i really missed him    " she's the most beautiful girl in the world "  he said with a warm eyes as he stepped inside the room , closing the door behind him    " most beautiful ! that's a subjective observation , be more specific please " i said with a smirk and a playful glance    he grabbed my hand for me to get closer to him , he looked into my eyes saying " her name is Seo juhyun , and she got a man who's crazy in love with her , jung yonghwa "    i giggled at those cheesy lines , but i was overwhelmed by his sincere eyes , he caressed my hand and printed a kiss over it , my heart fluttered    " were you that busy ? " i asked curving my mouth disappointed , he nodded quietly    " you didn't miss me ? " i asked with same disappointed tone    he let a heavy sigh " it killed me every moment , so i decided to just see you " he said with a low tone , his eyes looked sad or maybe tired !    " ok , i'll forgive you since you're doing it the cheesy way " i said giggling , he smiled    " i met shinhye earlier this week " i told him and his thumb caressing my hand froze    " i heard she's promoting for your new album too , as usual .. i heard about your next project with her too .. she's really supportive " i said looking away    " ah , yes .. CEO han prefers her " he explained solemnly     " mmm does she have a crush on you or something ? " i asked acting like joking around , since what happened at the fashion event keeps bugging me , she acted like a jealous women .. i felt it    " she's just a friend " he said staring at the floor    " but why is she ... " i was saying but he interrupted me    " i said she's just a friend " he shouted and i got a shock ... it's my first time seeing him acting like this !!    i frowned a little looking into his eyes intensely , is he tired or there's another thing pressuring him i wondered ..    " i'm sorry , i'm a little pressured these days with the album preparation " he curved his mouth sad , still looking at the floor , in a moment i thought he would start crying as his breathing pattern got irregular ..    my hand trembled as i reached for his cheek , i cupped his cheek giving him warmness , he raised his head looking into my eyes , he gulped soundly as if to clear his sorrowful throat .. " i'm ..." he said as he held my hand over his cheek    " it's okay , you should get some rest , i think you're feverish too .. " i said as i observed him closing his eyes and immersing his cheek more deeply into my palm as if hungry to my touch ..    " sooyoung unnie got a fever medicine , wait a minute " i thought about it as he's cheek was literally burning in my palm    as i retreated my hand back to go  , he held it again stopping me    " i'm afraid you'll get disappointed when you get to know more about me " he said with a sad tone !!    whatever is happening to him , i'm going to support him , i'm not leaving him alone facing this    " for whoever you are , you were and will be too .. i'll love you the same " as i said it , he smiled warmly pulling my hand in one swift move as i found myself the next moment embraced between his muscular arms ..    " keep your word " he said it only for me to hear .. another magical spell he casted on my soul ..    it was a new feeling , the suffocating embrace he gave me , the security i felt that day still lingering within me deeply inside my heart , and as for the spells he casted on me , their effect never faded    ---------------------------------------------- ( present )    i opened the rooftop door , as she took a few steps inside , she widened her eyes amazed at the preparations that i did for tonight special dinner , she looked at the sky getting the feeling of being free and unlimited with a ceiling , she was excited running her eyes around the place in a hurry not to miss any detail " how & why & when ? " she asked stuttering as she gave me a wondering glance    i'm really thankful she liked it ..   " i should be the one apologizing to you for what i did at the photo shoot " i looked at her eyes seriously as i said it    she stared at my face looking at every corner of it , it was weird but she did , as if she's meeting me for the first time , my heart raced at the thought of getting her full attention    but i continued " i crossed the line earlier , i didn't intend to apologize as i thought - let's just add tonight's mistake to the painful list of the things that i did to you " my voice was losing it steadiness as i thought about the painful past i caused to her     i continued suffocated " but you just came to apologize instead and .... "     she took a deep inspiration and smiled "  let's have fun tonight you said , right ?"    i nodded at her , and she hurried toward the dinner table and sat , serving her self wine and deciding what should she eat first ..    i sat on my seat across the small table , the rooftop went deadly quite as we concentrated on eating    " i should have called a violinist or a pianist , to keep the atmosphere alive " i suggested with awkward smile , stealing a glance at her    " we should just eat quickly and get down , the food are getting cold from the night breeze " she said stuffing the food in solemnly , as if it was a contest to finish her meal in a seconds , i think she doesn't want to be here after all , she likes the preparations but not the company ..    i stood up , and went toward her seat , she wondered what i'm going to do as she stopped chewing the food in , i took off my blazer and put it on her shoulders , as an excuse i had the chance to touch her shoulders caressing them gently with my thumb to warm her , she froze at my touch as she got aware , i returned to my seat again    " it was the food that getting cold , not me " she said with awkward smile    " i know , i just wanted to show off my gentleman side " i said with a smirk , as it was really cold here anyway and she was wearing a cotton kn