* author's note : it's NOT the last chapter :)

-united states - Michigan - 2 YEARS LATER ! 

it was 1:00 p.m when CNBLUE arrived Michigan for the world tour , we had a busy killing schedule with multiple concerts here and there  

" finally we are here , i'm really hungry ! " jungshin whined once we arrived the restaurant straight from the airport

jonghyun smiled contented " wow ! seriously , i've never been this excited before , the food smells really good " 

" hyung , are you going to have it as take away as usual ? " minhyuk asked me and i nodded 

jungshin back hugged me tightly " i wanted to spend more quality time with you though ! we really need to have fun together this time " 

" i will come later for the night club , now get off me " i promised and he smiled 

 " good luck hyung " minhyuk smiled gesturing - fighting - and i smiled back  

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ later 

" have you seen her before ? " i asked the university guard showing him seohyun picture and he frowned confused 

" ah i don't think so " he replied 

it was one of the most recognized musical theater school around the world so i had a high expectations that i could find her this time .. 

i asked multiple students and they gave me the same answer 

until i asked that one student and he thought about it for a little longer before giving a reply 

" feels like i've seen her before "  he murmured 

" really ! " i asked hoping it would be true 

" or was it on tv .. i'm not sure , sorry " the student frowned in confusion as he gave up and walked away 

i gulped my irritation as i was sensitized now to those kinds of replies so i hardly gets optimistically excited anymore , a lot of people gets confused to wether if they saw her on person or somewhere on media .. 

next i checked out famous brand name shops , from the most expensive ones that had a few special customers to her average favorite shops , no one recognized her either .. 

hours later of looking for her traces, i lost hope in this city too ..

although my searching methods were poor but i had a well planned strategy .. i knew that seohyun should visit those places that i checked out if she lived there , but it depended mainly on my luck to meet someone who remembers seeing her around , unfortunately for the past two years no one ever gave me the response i'm patiently waiting to hear - that she really stepped a foot in this city before - 

i walked around the streets until i made into a park and sat on the bench exhausted , i checked out my phone , opened -notes app - , and went through my checklist 
........
Oklahoma X
Venice  X 
Newyork X 
Los angeles X 
Chicago X 
London X 
paris X 
Boston X 
Texas X 
Florida X 
Toronto X 
California X 
Amsterdam X   
Geneva X
Madrid X
San Fransisco X 
Michigan ------> Michigan X 
.....

michigan was a fail too , i sighed heavily as i locked my phone angry , where the hell are you juhyun ! 

something touched my leg , i checked out and it was a kids' colored play ball 

i held it between my hands as i looked around , a blonde little girl approached me , so i knew it was her ball 

i handed her the ball smiling 

" thanks uncle " she said with a wide smile 

" what's your name ? " i asked her 

" sandy , and yours ? " she talked fluently with a bold tone and that was seriously cute 

" i'm yonghwa " 

" yong.. " the name got her a little confused 

" yong hwa " 

" yonghwa ! , well you got a unique name there " she said and i laughed 

" i know right ! " i studied her pony tail hair swinging with each word she said and toned down my hysterical laughing desire

" so uncle , what do you do for living ? " she asked interested 

" i'm a singer " 

" i've never heard about you though " she replied nonchalantly and i laughed again , she was hilarious for her young age   

" i'll work harder " i said smiling 

" sandy , let's go " a man called for her as he walked with his family 

" bye uncle yonga , nice to meet you " she waved at me cutely and i waved back , she ran toward the man 

" daddy ! i want ice cream " 

" ok let's buy you one .. you like strawberry flavor , don't you ? " her dad asked her 

" yaaaay ! you're the best " she shouted excited and he laughed 

" i want an ice cream too " the woman with him smiled  

" are you copying your little daughter " the man smirked at her teasing 

" well , i'm not the one whose craving for it .. it's our son " she said as she glanced her abdomen , so she is pregnant! 

her husband surrounded an arm around her back " really you're using the little poor boy to get your things done " 

" can't i ? " she said gazing at him giggling ... 

he laughed " enjoy it while it lasts " , he kissed her and their voices and laughing faded as they went further away 

i sank in my seat lifelessly with a blank mind , hopes regrets and anger were my daily emotional check list by now ..

i wonder , for such a happy family what would be their daily emotional check list ? did they make the right choices all along or was it their generous forgiveness which helped them to step on their ego and fears to make it work somehow .. 

for sure he wasn't an like me , and obviously his wife wasn't as selfish as juhyun either .. 

i stood up from the bench determined to search for a little longer until the time for the night club .. 
i walked for a few blocks until a chicco store caught my attention , i stared at the kids' cute apparels for a moment .. 

i went in for no logical reason , i walked around checking out the shelves , tracing my hand preciously along the very cute and lovely colors , textures and characters 

" can i help you ? " a female worker approached me when she noticed how aimless i was 

" ah .. i have a daughter " i told her with a lost tone trying out the impact of the raw words 

" how old is she , sir ? " 

" she should be in her 16th month by now .. if she was born in late June or early July then...  " i was blabbering out nonsense until i got the worker's confused stare so i cleared my voice " i was looking for a gift " 

" should i help you pick something ? " she asked and i almost shook my head denying but i got an idea 

i showed her seohyun's picture " have you seen her before ?" 

she frowned thinking deeply as she checked out the pic " i don't think so .. " 

" johoon ?? " i heard another female worker which was leaning a head between us checking out the picture 

" you know her ? " i asked with a low expectation , that wasn't even her name so she could have mistook her for another 

" yeah , she's a regular customer , i know her ! " 

along the hundreds people i asked before , this female worker was the first one to be this confident that she saw juhyun ! i fell speechless as i've never prepared further questions 

" i need to find her " i hardly voiced my demanding tone and the worker got flustered 

" i'm ... i have work to do , excuse me " the worker said as she linked arms with other female and walked away 

" wait , please .. it's important " i  caught her arm with my both hands pleading , she gave me a worried glance as she questioned my intentions 

" i really need your help " i pleaded again with my eyes 

she gave me a chance and we went outside the store to talk 

" i really don't know anything other than her name , we had a chit chat a few times and nothing more " the worker said convincing me but she was my only hope to find seohyun , however little she knows it was really important 

" did she look exactly like the picture ? was she wearing a mask , dyed her hair ? cut her hair ? " i asked 

" i think she was quite the same as that picture , mostly she wore a cap if that's what you need " she replied 

" did she visit the store alone ? " 

" she came with her little daughter " the worker said smiling 

" you saw her ? the little girl ? was she healthy ! did she grow up well ? what's her name ? " 

" i'm not sure what's wrong with you but as i said... " 

" that's my daughter ! the one that i've never seen before .. " i interrupted her with a bitter tone as i gazed at her with wavering eyes , i used my pathetic state to get her sympathy 

" oh , i'm sorry for that .. the girl was pretty healthy and cute , she looked happy too , her mom cared for her a lot and bought her everything whenever she came , i can't remember her name though " 

the worker ended her speech and waited for my next question , i stared at her with my mind storming with thoughts , now i know she's at michigan at least , but how should i search the whole city for her that will take a year at least .. 

i screened the buildings and the surroundings with my glance ,the city was loaded with netizens and buildings , however i was determined to find them today rather than later .. my glance rested on the girl again 

" can i ask for your help ? " i asked her and her expression froze in loss ..

 if she visited this store regularly means she lived near her , somewhere around the store .. i asked the worker to locate all other chicco main stores in Michigan , so we could minimize the area around this store .. i ended up with several blocks and hundreds of buildings to look at .. 

as i took a deep breath to start looking for her , it looked like a never ending task with this amount of buildings and the little time i had before i leave Michigan for my next tour stop .. but if i was lucky enough to find a store seohyun regularly visited i could hope for  a miracle to find her residence next .. 

it was 8 p.m when my excitement and energy faded after checking out few blocks , and i just started to believe how i'm trying to do the impossible within those few hours i have ..  

i entered another building and asked the security guard " have you seen her before ? " 
i showed him the picture and he shook his head denying ..

my phone rang that moment .. 

" hyung , where are you now ? " jungshin asked me with an irritated tone 

i let out a sigh as i replied " sorry shinnie ~ , i'll pass tonight "

" huh ! why hyung ? " he whined 

" i have something to do " 

" you always have something to do hyung , i'm not sure when exactly will you start living probably " jungshin lectured me irritated 

" not tonight at least , later " i wanted to end the call so i could do something more useful with my time 

" hyung , any progress ? " he asked in a hurry to stop me from ending the call

" seohyun probably lives in Michigan , that's what i heard " 

" and now you're searching the whole city to find her , aren't you ? " he used a sarcastic tone mocking my mentality 

" i'm not really in the mood for clubbing tonight , i'll do my thing and you guys do yours " 

jungshin let out a heavy sigh " where are you right now ? we will help looking for her too " 

" you guys do your thing " i highlighted the words firmly 

" if you're really willing to find her tonight , doing it together is the only possible way " he said with a confident tone 
i knew he's right and it'll help a lot having more 3 guys screening the street blocks rather than me by my self .. 

i told him my location exactly and they arrived a few minutes later , we divided the blocks on us and we started looking for her in every single building ..  

it was 11 :15 p.m when minhyuk called me ! 

my heart raced and i calmed it down convincing myself that it was a random call from him rather than a conclusive one 

" hyung ! " 

" talk ? " 

" i think i found her building ... however there's a problem " 

problem ?

i hurried toward his location to hear what i never expected 

" well , she lived here for the past two years , but she moved out a month ago " the security guard said 

" moved out !!! " i shouted in disbelief , " where did she go ? " 

the security guard frowned in disbelief " how would i know ! the only thing i know about her is that she used to live here ! that's it !! " 

a hand patted my shoulder " i don't think he knows anything , let's just go " jonghyun suggested with a low tone 

i walked a stiff steps outside the building by jonghyun's gentle dynamic pushes on my back ! i followed his guide quietly with a noisy mind , broken soul and a tired body , my eyes stung when i tried to assort my emotions , a moment ago i was thrown harshly to the zero starting point again , the past two years were out of count and i had to look for seohyun again , in all the places that i checked once again .. i have to live this kind of restless life again ! again and again never ending pain , i have to stay sane .. 

i wasn't sure how much will take this time to find her traces , another two years or even more !!! however i couldn't give up 

" we could catch up with some fun if we made it to the club soon , right ? " i suggested calmly

deep in my heart i knew that i'll have the chance to meet her again , we live in the same world after all ..

--------------------------------
2 weeks later ~ yonghwa's building 

i returned back from the world tour , i went straight home thinking that i should sleep for a one week at least before i could return back to my usual schedules 

 i waited for the elevator to arrive the lobby floor 

my phone received a message 

(( hyung , guess what ! i found your cap in my luggage and fortunately it's my favorite one !! thanks so much .... from shinnie ~ )) 

(( yaaaah !! i want it back )) i sent him 

(( but hyung.. it's fate .. from shinnie~ )) 

i giggled at how childish is he , my glance fell on a cute little girl a step away from me !  
i put my phone back into my pocket and went down to her level 

" hey cutie " i waved a hand greeting her and she waved back smiling .. i was dying at the moment from cuteness overload 

the girl was roughly a two years old , really pretty with a lovely dress 

" where's mom ? " i asked with an aegyo tone and she pointed toward the empty entrance .. her tiny hand pointing there was so cute i couldn't help but to carry her ..

" i really like your dress , you got a model's taste there " i complimented her touching the dress and she smiled sweetly .. 

her scent was really adorable , her silky long hair got a twinkling butterfly hairpin .. 

" so what's your name , pretty ? " 

" hyun~ ah !!! i told you to stay still in your spot " 

i heard her mom anxiously calling for her , i shifted my glance to her mother smiling widely 

" sorry for the inconvenience " she said

" it's oka.... y !!! " 

that woman which was a really beautiful woman with a classy white coat , long legs and bright eyes was no one other than seo juhyun ! 

i widened my eyes checking her out in disbelief , is that really her or am i just losing my mind .. 

her gaze left my eyes as she got flustered by the coincidence ! 

" would you .... " she hurried and caught the little girl out of my arms into her arms , i handed the girl to her easily as i couldn't believe that juhyun is finally back 

" mommy " the girl murmured as she hugged seohyun ! 

i shifted my glance to the girl for a moment trying to calculate with a blank mind the easy equation , seohyun is her mother so that makes her ... my daughter ! 

" she's my ... " i questioned pointing a finger as i was lost staring at the girl 

" how did you know about our arrival to korea " seohyun asked with a steady tone as she collected all the grocery bags with her free hand 

" i never knew " i talked with a lost dumb tone as i stared at the girl's details , head , hair and limbs .. she got the whole human package and to add up those all are part of me ! my hand froze in the air unable to touch her 

" so you were visiting someone here ? " seohyun asked as she made her way into the elevator 

" i live here " 

she narrowed her eyes at me 

the girl finally turned her head around watching me , i stared at her dark sparkling eyes fascinated by how beautiful and cute is she ! i never imagined she would be this adorable 

" i guess you didn't have something better to do other than lurking around my building " seohyun rolled her eyes 

" what's her name ? " i asked as i reached for the girl's little hand 

there was no reply , so i glared at seohyun demanding 

" yonghyun .. that's her name " she said it with a trembling tone 

" yonghyun ! i wouldn't have chosen a better name for her " 
a smirk twisted my lips as i printed a my lips over the little girl's hand 

we arrived her floor , so seohyun hurried getting out toward her apartment , she worked on her door passcode while i communicated with the little girl behind her back 

" hello yonghyun , i'm ... " i paused halfway and seohyun's hand- typing the code -froze waiting for my next words 

" i'm ... yong ~ " i said and seohyun continued tapping her passcode calmly 

 i gritted my teeth in bitterness , why didn't i just tell her that i'm her dad , why did i even care about seohyun's anxiety 

" she doesn't talk yet ? " i asked seohyun who opened her door

" she says a lot of words , but she's a little shy " 

" really ! like what kind of words ? " i asked interested 

seohyun frowned in disbelief , the things she thought silly were major interest to me , the things she knows about yonghyun by heart i really craved to know ! 

she put yonghyun down and held the door knob ready to end our meeting " i have to prepare for dinner soon so ... "

" so what's for dinner tonight ? " i asked casually as i glanced the grocery bags 

" excuse me ! " 

" i just returned back from a world tour , and have nothing to eat at home .. so i thought i could have a dinner with you " i gave her a challenging eyes 

" well i wasn't ready for a third person's share " she said with a stiff expression

" it's okay , i don't eat a lot " 

she narrowed her eyes " what are you trying to do exactly ? " 

 " what do you think ! having a dinner with my daughter that you hid for two years ! what ! can't i ? " i replied with a serious harsh tone clinching my teeth .. 

she hardly gulped and i sensed her fears , i can imagine that she thought of me as a threat , a threat she had to face whenever she comes back to korea but i didn't care , it was my least rights spending time with my stolen daughter 

" you don't .. scare me " she tried to hide her anxiety  

" i'll come later for dinner " i announced solemnly and went down to yonghyun level 

" i'll see you later hyun~ah ~~~ " i traced my trembling hands over her cheeks making sure that she really exists 
" don't go anywhere .. " i pleaded to the little girl as i hugged her tightly and hardly let go of her 

i took a step away and seohyun closed her door immediately , i acted strong and determined earlier but i was truly scared she would do it again - disappear with my daughter - .. 

-----------------------------------
7:00 p.m seohyun's apartment 

i rang the door bell holding a huge white teddy bear , seohyun opened the door for me wearing an apron , her hair and make up were on point telling me that she was ready for my visit .. 

" mmm .. sorry for intruding " i said as a greeting 

" you don't say ! " she said with a sarcastic tone 

" i will eat well " i said casually as i took further step inside 

she blocked my way suddenly and vigorously with millimeters away from our chests 

" what ! " i widened my eyes surprised 

" what are these ! " she whispered seriously as she gazed at the plastic bag i'm holding ! 

" ah .. they're just candies for yonghyun " i replied casually 

" you didn't have to buy her the whole store ! if she saw this she'll never eat a proper meal for the rest of her life .. " seohyun lectured me with a firm tone as she signaled for me to hand the bag ..

i handed her the bag immediately without a word , she pulled out a lollipop from the bag and handed it to me 

" you can give her this ... after dinner " she said firmly and i nodded obediently , i would never act against mom seohyun orders !  

she hided the bag as she went directly to the kitchen 

i let out a relieved sigh when she finally walked away - that was never wrecking ! - 
i noticed yonghyun standing steps away staring at me with a