The rest of the week passed by much more quickly than any of us wanted it to. Once the weekend hit the guys spent almost all of their time together trying to fit in every last second they could with Tao. Baekhyun and Chanyeol had even put their fighting aside in an effort to make these last few days he was in the country wonderful. I met up with everyone for dinner on Saturday night, the last time we were all going to be together again for some time.

Everyone was there that we sat with at lunch along with Lay. The conversation was light, fun. Centering around Tao, of course. I wanted to join in, but I didn't have much to share about Tao. The only thing we had ever done, just the two of us, was the awkward conversation when we were at karaoke and he had gotten mad and left. I'm still not entirely sure I had said the right things, and neither of us had mentioned it, but he seemed a lot more at ease now. Whether I had helped him or made things worse, I was just glad he was doing better, even if he had to leave.

We were all seated at a long table, and I was seated on the end. I absolutely hated sitting on the edge because it was so much harder to hear all of the conversations, but as I much preferred listening and didn't usually participate in them, I figured it would be best if I left all of those middle spots open for others who would make the most of them. Besides, I was surrounded with the people I usually talk to anyways. Jong In was next to me and Kyungsoo was in front of me. Lay was sitting next to him, diagonally from me, and on Lay's other side was Tao.

After some time of listening to the conversation, I decided to actually try joining in for once and turned to Lay.

"Ga In told me you two were dating," I said, smiling.

"Yes, we are," he answered, happiness seeping out him as he said the words.

"What?" Sehun asked, snapping his head in our direction. "She's already got a boyfriend? And it's you?" he turned to Lay as he asked the last question.

"Yes?" Lay said, suprised by Sehun's vehemence.

"Dang it! I figured she had a boyfriend. If I'd known she was single I would have talked to her last Friday," Sehun complained.

"You liked her already?" Jong In asked, suprised.

"Did you not even look at her?" Sehun asked, looking at Jong In incredulously. "She's hot."

"I can second that statement," Chanyeol said, raising his hand.

"Me too," Baekhyun added in, his hand going up as well.

"Well, yeah, but-" Jong In began, which woke up some of my old insecurites instantly, causing my eyes to snap to his face before I could stop myself.

Ga In was beautiful, even a blind man could see that. Everyone agreed on that, and if Jong In had said he didn't think she was, then he'd have to have been lying. Which was only made even more obvious by the fact that every other guy at the table seemed to have a thing for her. So I reminded myself to not get upset by it as he hadn't done or said anything to indicate that he had fallen for her looks or liked her in a romantic way at all. Nothing had changed between us since the two had met. I was happy for my friend that she had been blessed with a beautiful face, and I wasn't going to let myself learn to resent her for it, not when it's the other guys fault for being shallow jerks. Clearly, not every guy was like that. 

"Wow, stop right there," Sehun said before Jong In could continue. "I may have accidentally just lead you into trouble with Soo Young."

"No! No," I said, not wanting them to think I'd get jealous that easily. I may have before, and I may have had good reason to, but I wanted to trust Jong In more than that. In fact, I did trust him more than that. I didn't want to be the kind of girlfriend who got all up in arms just because her boyfriend acknowledged that another woman was pretty, I wanted to be secure enough not to care. And I wanted other people to know I was like that, too. "I'm not bothered at all. I'm used to these kinds of conversations."

"Really?" Jong In asked, something in his tone I couldn't place at first.

"Yeah," I answered, thinking they might be getting it. "She has a lot of friends at her school and I tag along sometimes. These conversations happen sometimes."

Nobody spoke for a moment as they all processed my words. I began to wonder if I had said something wrong as I felt Jong In press his leg against mine, the look on his face as unfamiliar as his tone before. Then, Baekhyun spoke up.

"Well, I'm happy for you, Lay," he began. "You get to start a relationship while mine dies before it's even started," he added dramtically.

"What?" burst out of Chanyeol as he whipped his head around to look at Baekhyun, his eyes searching Baekyun's face as if he could find the answers there before Baekhyun even spoke. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Baekhyun began as he heaved a sigh, leaning back in his chair. His usual good humor was shrouded over by a veil of sadness. "Me and Hyo Jin aren't going on our date anymore."

"Why not?" Chanyeol almost demanded.

"Because while I was talking to her about what we could do next weekend, I figured out that she didn't actually like me," Baekhun explained, looking appologetically at Chanyeol. "She was just using me."

"What? How do you know? And what for?" Chanyeol asked, beginning to look angry.

"Because I noticed something was off with the questions she was asking me. So I asked her about them, and she ended up just telling me the truth. She actually likes someone else, and was just using me to try and get close to him," Baekhyun continued.

I wondered for a moment, as I was sure everyone else at the table did, if that person might have been Chanyeol. However, Baekhyun wasn't looking at Chanyeol, he was looking at the table. His eyes stayed there for a moment before they swept over to land on someone else.

"She likes Kyungsoo."

We all sat in shock, everyone's eyes on Kyungsoo who had frozen while bringing his food up to his mouth. He stared at Baekhyun, then looked at the rest of us, then his eyes moved back to Baekhyun again.

"Me?" he asked, setting his food back down on his plate.

"Yeah," Baekhyun nodded as he sat up straight in his chair, seeming to brace himself for something. "I just wanted to let you know in case you like her or ended up liking her or whatever, and I wanted you to know that if you ever wanted to date her, I'd be okay with it."

"No," Kyungsoo said immediately, shaking his head. "I don't like her. I barely know anything about her, and I don't need to know anything else about her to know she's not my type." He paused before continueing. "Anyone who would use my friend isn't someone I want anything to do with."

There was a small moment where Baekhyun smiled appreciatively at Kyungsoo, who returned with a smile of his own before returning to his food, as if the exchange wasn't a big deal, as if there hadn't been any worry that the conversation could have gone another way.

"Well," Tao said, turning to Chanyeol. "Now she's free again if you want to ask her out."

"Because I'd still like her after she used one of my friends because she liked another one of my friends," Chanyeol said, smiling at Tao's teasing. "Clearly my odds at getting her to date me are really good."

"I would," Sehun cut in. "She knows what she wants and she goes after it using her womanly ways. I wouldn't mind that happening to me, especially since I heard she's good looking."

"Shut up," Jong In shot at him him playfully. "You're such an idiot."

"It's okay for a woman to use her womanly ways to geth what she wants," Lay cut in, looking thoughtful. "So long as she doesn't hurt anyone."

"With great power comes great responsibility," I said solemnly without thinking, but I was glad I did because it made everyone at the table laugh.

"Soo Young, I didn't realize you were so funny!" Chanyeol said to me. "I'm starting to see your appeal."

"Too bad she's already taken," Jong In said before Chanyeol's words had even registered, putting his hand on my knee under the table and squeezing.

As caught off guard as I was by Chanyeol's words, I was even more so by Jong In's hand on my knee. I had never had anyone place their hand there before, and it was bit strange. Something about it felt very intimate, probably because I was in a skirt so it was skin to skin contact, and it made my heart beat a bit faster. I liked it, but, of course, I felt a little odd doing it in public. No one could really see it, either, as it was something he was doing under the table. I thought about that, trying to make myself feel a little better about it, but that thought only made it feel stranger. Holding hands under the table was one thing, and in fact it was something we had done before, at lunch, but this was something different altogether. A part of me wanted him to move his hand, but another part hoped he'd keep it there. At least for a while.

"The good ones always are," Chanyeol said forlornly before turning towards Lay. "I still can't believe you're dating Ga In."

"Seriously," Sehun said, his early look of dismay returning to his features. "I'm supposed to be the one dating the girl with the supermodel body."

"Let's not objectify my friend, here," I couldn't help but say, but smiled to show I wasn't really upset.

Jong In moved his hand then, glancing down under the table, seeming to be looking for my hand as he grabbed it and rested our clasped hands on his leg instead.

"And that is why you're still single, Sehun," Beakhyun said.

"No self-respecting woman wants to date a man who objectifies her," Chanyeol elaborated, shaking his head as if dissapointed in Sehun.

"And when was the last time either of you had girlfriends?" Sehun asked them. "Seems to me like Kyungsoo's got more game than any of us."

"That's because, Sehun," Kyungsoo said, suprising me. He usually didn't join in on the banter, being more like me and doing better in one-on-one conversations. "I'm irresistable," he said, flashing a smile at us.

The rest of the guys started making noises of agreement at that.

"Of course you are, just look at that smile," Chanyeol said.

"The groups designated ladie's man," Baekhyun added.

"Kyungsoo the Lady Killer," Tao commented.

"Kyungsoo the Killer," Lay put in as well.

"Maybe we shouldn't say that one," Jong In amended Lay, causing everyone to laugh again.

The rest of the night continued on like that, easy conversation, easy laughter. It was fun. It was a lot of fun. I thought about how, before, I would have never experienced something like this. The only time I had ever gone out in a group of friends was with Ga In's friends, and that was the problem, they were Ga In's friends. I was never part of the group, while I was part of this one, I came to realize. That made all the difference. I understood even more why my parents had forced me into trying to make friends, so that I could enjoy things like this. They were wonderful moments, filled with joy, and they made you feel strong, like nothing could ever go wrong. They felt infinite.

I was suddenly struck with the realization, though, that they weren't. That sounds strange, maybe, but in the moment, that's what it felt like. A realization. Tonight would end. This time with them would only go on for so long, and then it would end. And in the morning, Tao would leave the country. We would probably never have another night quite like this, because Tao wouldn't be here for them anymore. He would be gone, and his spot in the group would stay vacant. No one could replace it, because there are no two Tao's. Someone new may join in, like I had, but a new spot would be made for them, they wouldn't take Tao's. Because Tao was his own individual person, and he had created a space with us that no one else could fill in quite the same way.

It was the same with anyone. People come into your life and act out their own specific roles, like snow flakes falling to the ground. Each role is unique to each person, and when their gone, when the snow flake hits the ground, that's it. No one else will have the exact same design as that snow flake, they'd have their own. These people, these moments, aren't eternal, their fragile and dissappear quickly, like snow flakes. They only place they're truely infinite is in our memories.

My eyes landed on Jong In while I was having this weird epiphany of things I should have already known. He was smiling and laughing with everyone before he turned and looked at me. His face held that affectionate maybe-love look that it usually only had when we were alone, when no one was looking. My heart fluttered in my chest at it.

He looked down at his lap, then, pulling my hand closer towards him. He took it with his other hand as well. He flipped it over so it was palm up, and smoothed his thumbs over it. I looked back up at Jong In's face and realized that, some day, he may disappear from my life too. Who knows what could happen in the future, what we plan, and what we don't. In a couple of years we'll graduate and go to college, and that will bring a lot of changes wether we want them or not. We could go to the same college, or one of us may go to a college in another country.

Maybe his family could move, maybe my family could move. Something could happen, and we could be sepperated.

He looked back up at me with that same look, that same smile, and I felt my heart breaking that something like that could ever happen. That a future like that could exist for us.

I felt the fear take root, and the panic begin to rise.