I was heading to school where Kai and I said we would meet that next morning. Even though the events of last night had left me a bit exhausted emotionally, I was still nervous as I walked. While I was glad I seemed to have finally gotten it across to Sehun that I hadn't been cheating on Kai and I had no intentions to, it had been a pretty weird evening from me realizing just how much respect I had for Kai, to me crying in front of Sehun. 

The reason I was nervous, though, was because I had decided to tell Kai why I didn't let him walk me anywhere yesterday, and why it had taken me so long to agree to let him walk me home in the first place. I was fairly certain Kai would be understanding about it, but he probably wouldn't be all too happy about it, especially since I had waited so long to tell him why. If I didn't say anything, though, it would only get worse. Plus, Sehun told me a little bit later that Kai had seemed wounded that I wouldn't tell him anyting yesterday, but that he had chosen to trust me anyway. I didn't want to trample on that trust.

"Hey!" Kai called when I came into his line of sight.

He was smiling at me, completely relaxed. It was easy to pretend for a moment that I didn't have to tell him anything, that I hadn't made him doubt me. But I couldn't let myself step outside of reality for too long, or else I would loose the nerve to tell him what I needed to. While I didn't think he'd be so offended by what I had to say that he would get mad at me or break up with me or anything, I knew what I had to say would upset him, which only made it hard.

"Hey," I called, smiling back as I reached him.

"Let's go," he said as he started heading off, smiling big, almost vibrating with energy.

"You seem really excited," I commented as I followed him.

"I haven't been there yet, either." He turned to look at me. "I was waiting until we could go together."

"Well." I looked away from him, unable to hold his gaze when he looked at me like that.

We continued on walking in silence for a few paces, then I spoke up, feeling I should get this over with sooner rather than later.

"So..." I began and then followed with a silence. Great start, I know.

"Yeah?" Kai asked nonchalantly.

"About yesterday," I tried again, feeling absurdly nervous about this. I had to pause again, and Kai waited patiently for me to continue. "I didn't want you to walk me anywhere because I was meeting up with my family."

"O...kay..." I could hear the question in his voice, and I couldn't blame him.

"They don't know I have a boyfriend yet." My voice had gotten quieter and the sentence was more of a mumble.

"Why don't they know yet?"

"Because I haven't told them."

"Well, why haven't you told them?"

"Because I'm not sure how they'd react."

I could feel him looking at me at this point, and I really wanted to turn and bolt in another direction. I just realized that coming clean about all of this could lead to me telling him that my agreeing to date him was an accident. It might not be that big of a deal anymore, maybe even something funny, since I feel it's pretty obvious at this point that I want to keep dating him.

"Why wouldn't they react well to it?" he asked.

I turned my head to look at him as we walked, a little suprised he was so calm about this. When I saw his face I saw the confusion I heard when he spoke, but it was more subdued than I had expected it to be. I realized that he was guarding his expressions, holding back, looking like he had taken the comment the same way Sehun had. I really should stop saying it like that.

"Because they've been pestering me to make more friends." He seemed to process this for a moment before deciding to believe it. "And I'm sure they wouldn't be too thrilled with me dating when I still am not that good at having friends."

"Oh," he said as he glanced down at the pavement. After taking a few steps he looked back up at me, his expression changed. It was relieved, much brighter than it had been before. "You told Sehun about all this?"

"What?" I asked, startled Kai would bring him up now of all times.

"It's just, he called me last night appologizing." It was my turn to look confused. "He'd been nagging me for a while about you," Kai explained a little sheepishly. "But last night he texted me saying he had talked to you and that he was was wrong and he was sorry."

"Oh, yeah," I grimaced as I remembered last night. "I did."

"Is that why you told me?"

"He said I'd hurt your feelings yesterday."

"That's not-" he began, a slight blush tinging his cheeks.

"I'm planning on telling them soon," I said, smiling to myself. "I have made new friends. So they can't be too upset."

I felt Kai take my hand and squeeze. When I looked his way again, I saw him smiling. I couldn't place the look he was giving me, but it made me feel warm inside.

~

The book store was actully quite impressive. It was located in an area I didn't usually go to, which honestly is most places, but whatever. We headed that way after stopping to get food and I was pleased to find it wasn't that far from the school, meaning it wasn't that far from my home. The store was quite large and looked amazing, complete with rolling ladders on bookshelves, the only problem was that the books were so pricy. I didn't mention this to Kai, though, as I did enjoy visiting the place. It was seperated into different rooms, and some rooms you had to go through others to get to. It was fun exploring, and they had a lot of books I hadn't actually seen before.

I was suprised to see Kai enjoying browsing too. Everybody in my family liked reading a little bit, but not as much as me. They usually wound up borrowing my books when they wanted to read something (I had a pretty eclectic taste when it came to stories) so they usually stood around and waited on me if they came into a bookstore with me, and Ga In wasn't much of a reader and wouldn't even let me go in one when she was with me unless I had a specific target and we could get in and out to avoid me trying to look at them for too long. It was nice being in here with someone who wasn't ready to leave after ten minutes.

When we had wondered over to the fantasy section, I held up a book for Kai to look at.

"This is the first book to one of my favorite series. I insist you read it."

"What's it about?" he asked taking it from me to inspect it.

"It's got a pretty normal premise of being about a country with a bad ruler and a group of rebels trying to take him down, but the execution is actually really unique. There's so much more to it than just the set up and it's so amazing how much thought the author put into with all these complex characters and intricate details. It's... you have to read it," I finished lamely as Kai looked up at me and started smiling. "What?"

"It's just watching you talk about books," he said, smile growing as he leaned against the bookshelves. "It's cute."

"Cute?"

"You're so passionate about it. And it's the only time you ever talk that much." He shrugged here. "I guess it's better to say you're cute when you talk about books."

"Oh," I said as my heart thundered in my chest. I couldn't help the blush that blazed across my cheeks at this. 

I turned away from him and took a few steps, hoping it looked like was I looking at the books on the selves. I was embarrassed to be so affected by a simple compliment, but for some reason I was suprised to hear that he found anything about me attractive. I didn't think I was bad looking, in fact I thought my looks were pretty good, I was usually just suprised when anyone else thought so too. Especially Kai, who was so attractive I just assumed he'd have higher standards. 

I tried not to let myself dwell on the shock, and instead enjoy that he thought something I did was cute.

I couldn't help but smile.

Suddenly, an arm reached out in front of me, gripping onto one of the shelves, blocking my path. I looked up at Kai and saw he had that serious look he sometimes gets. It made my heart thump harder in my chest and a cage of butterflies was unlatched in my stomach. It didn't help when I realized how close he was, either.

"You're cute when you blush, too."

"I-" the word slipped out and I was able to break eye contact with him. "I don't know what you're talking about." I said as I ducked under his arm to come out behind him, and then began speed walking to another room. I passed through a couple more before I turned to see if he had followed. When I saw he hadn't, I allowed myself a few moments to calm down.

I wasn't entirely sure what had just happened there, but I was pretty sure I didn't want it happening again. I think. Maybe. I don't know.

I turned back to the books to distract myself from what had just happened because I was having issues getting myself calmed down completely. I managed to find a book that sounded interesting with some difficulty as what had just happened kept replaying in my mind. I pulled it off the shelf and tried reading it, hoping I could immerse myself in the story to get outside of my head, and then when I came back to myself I wouldn't be so affected anymore.

It was a struggle at first, but I finally managed to get into the story, and wound up sitting on the ground, my back against the bookshelves while I read. I felt someone sit down next to me and I glanced up long enough to notice it was Kai. I looked down at the book I had been reading, angry that I had let myself think of what had happened earlier and acutely aware that I had wandered into a section of the book store where no one else was. I felt my cheeks heat up as I stared down at the pages, no longer reading.

"Soo Young."

My cheeks warmed even more, and I was so frustrated. All he had said was my name. Why was I so affected?

I heard him adjusting himself before those thoughts, in fact all of my thoughts, dissipated from my mind as the next second I saw his hand reaching around, fingers threading through my hair, palm resting against my neck, thumb on my cheek urging me to look up. When I did I saw he had leaned forward towards me, craning his neck to the side a bit. I froze, my mind barely comprehending the situation as I just stared at him. I saw his eyes look between my eyes, my lips, and back up again and I could suddenly feel my heart beating fast in my chest again.

This kind of heart activity couldn't be healthy for anyone.

The next second he had leaned in, closing the distance between us, and my heart sputtered to a halt again as I felt his lips on mine. There wasn't anything overly passionate about it, just a soft pressure that made it feel like fireworks were going off in my body. My eyes closed and as I was about to recipricate, he pulled back, and I was scared I had messed up somehow. The panic passed as I look at him, looking back at me, and I realized he hadn't pulled back because I had done something wrong, but because he was hoping he had done something right.

I wanted to kiss him again so bad.