Kyungsoo had been right, the test was easy.​

When I got home that night, after shaking off Kai's offer to walk me home again, I pulled out my notes and started studying immediately, but found I actually already knew most of the material very well. After looking over a few pages of my notes, it came back to me.

I had studied.

I had studied Friday night when I was getting all my homework done before the weekend. I had just forgotten I had after everything that happened last weekend. I did forget to study, in a way, because I was planning on looking over the material again on Sunday night just to help make sure it stuck in my brain, which I had forgotten to do. 

I felt so stupid for freaking out.

I didn't let it bother me too much, since I had studied for the test and I still had Monday night to go over everything again, but my forgetfulness usually doesn't work out this well. This is why I always felt I should start making lists for the things I need to get done, to avoid this kind of thing, but I'm really bad at keeping up with it and always stray the day I start it up.

My ability to commit to things like that was impressively bad.

But in the end, I studied much more than necessary for the test and felt assured that I had passed, and was pleased to learn that Kyungsoo was feeling the same about himself.  So I was already in a good mood by the time my last class let out on Tuesday, the day Kai and I were going to go out for ice cream.

"Is there anywhere in specific you like going to?" he asked as we packed up our bags after the last bell rang.

"Yes, actually," I answered, feeling the nerves begin to set in. "It's just down the street. It's only abot five minutes from here."

We walked out of the classroom and down the hall, making our way out of the school. Kai had already told all of his friends we were hanging out today, just the two of us, he said, so no one went out of their way to find us, or him, rather. Our walk to the ice cream place was filled with easy, light conversation. We got our orders and sat down at a small table for two after I tried to fight with Kai when he paid for mine but ultimately lost because, hey, free ice cream.

"You know," he began, eyes on his ice cream, "I'm suprised you and Kyungsoo are becoming such good friends."

I stopped eating my ice cream for a second-I couldn't stop eating it for too long because, come on, ice cream-suprised that he already considered me and Kyungsoo friends, and that he had even noticed. Mostly me and Kyungsoo talked on the way to the cafeteria becaue when we sat down, the main conversation was controlled by the other guys. Not in a bad way, but I and, as I quickly figured out, Kyungsoo tend to be pretty quiet, both content to listen to a good conversation.

So how did he come to the conclusion that Kyungsoo and I were friends?

"Friends?" the word shot out of my mouth before I could stop it due to my suprise. After the word left my mouth I instantly regretted it. It made it sound like I didn't want to be friends with Kyungsoo, and that was definitely not the case. My tone made the word sound like a simple question, but still, I felt like it could be easily construed into something else.

"Yeah," he answered, glancing up at me. "He doesn't usually get close to people quickly. He's pretty shy."

"Shy?" I couldn't help again. I thought about the times we talked, and after some thought commented, "He's usually the one to come up to me first."

"Really?" he asked, suprise appearing on his face. "It took me a couple of weeks to get him comfortable enough around me to do that kind of stuff."

"Weeks? I hadn't really thought of him as the timid type, especially not after yesterday's conversation at lunch," I said, thinking back to my few encounters with him. He had seemed more stoic to me, not saying much, but he didn't seem to be bothered by approaching me first.

"Yesterday was just because Chanyeol and Baekhyun like to mess with him," Kai waved off. "He's usually pretty docile."

"Docile?" I asked, quirking my own eyebrow. "Another vocabulary word from my books?"

"I knew that one before your books, actually," he answered. "I'm an average student, so I do know some big words."

"I don't think docile is big, just unusual," I countered, amused.

"Anyways," he said, smiling at me.

"What's so strange about me and Kyungsoo acting friendly?" I asked him. I knew why it's strange for me, but I didn't think he was fully aware of just how bad my social skills could be sometimes.

"Nothing," he said, now not looking at me. "I just had never noticed you being very friendly to anyone else at school, and he's not usually that friendly himself."

I thought about this answer, and something about it just didn't seem to make sense to me. I mean, it was a logical statement, but I didn't see why that wold make him bring it up. So me and Kyungsoo aren't very sociable, doesn't it actually make more sense that he and I would get along? In fact, his quietness was one of the reasons I feel more comfortable trying to talk to him over any of the other guys at that table. To me, it made him more approachable because I didn't feel like I would have to keep up with him, we could just make conversation at our own pace.

It couldn't be that he was jealous again, could it?

"Does it bother you?" I asked, feeling it would be best to ask straight out, just in case.

"Not exactly," he said lowering his ice cream so his arms were resting on the table. "Kyungsoo doesn't make friends easily, so it's good for him."

"But?"

"You guys seem pretty similar," he said, looking back up at me, making eye contact. "And I know you don't like me all that much, not romantically."

Out of reflex, I almost denied him. I knew the words upset him as he spoke them, and I don't like it when people are upset. But denying it would mean me saying that I liked him, and for some reason that terrified me. Forget whether or not it was true, I couldn't have made myself do it. He continued on, though, before I could say something to make it better, or attempt to make it better, but probably end up making it worse.

"So when I heard you guys were getting along really well, I was happy about that, but.." he trailed off, not seeming to be able to find the right words.

Was he really that insecure about it?

"You're insecure," the words popped out of me mouth, even while I was thinking that they were something I shouldn't say.

And my bad social skills rear their ugly heads again.

"Well..." he said, looking at me slightly hurt before glancing back down to his ice cream. "I kind of have a reason to be."

He had a point there. We both knew he liked me romantically and as a person, while as far as he knew I just thought he was nice. The difference was pretty wide, even if his feelings for me were little more than a crush. After all, he had also told me he really respected me, while I again just told him I thought he was nice. Anyone can be considered nice after such a short time. In fact most people would probably be considered nice. And in all honesty, I tend to consider everyone to be nice until after a month or so of knowing them, and then I realize how much they annoy me. 

Probably another reason I don't have many friends. Another thing I need to work on.

But right now, I have to worry about Kai, because I've clearly upset him. The problem is, I'm not very good at comforting or reassuring people. I'm usually the insecure one, and I just learned to deal with it on my own. And by deal with it on my own I just mean wallowing in it and living with the constant idea that I'm inferior to everyone and getting so used to the idea that it's just kind of an accepted truth now.

I didn't think telling Kai to do the same thing would be the right move here. Yet another thing about myself I needed to work on.

I just didn't know what else to say, I felt so bad that he felt this way, and for being the one to make him feel like that, but I couldn't make myself contradict him. Even if I could make myself say that I like him, I serously doubt he'd believe me. 

So what do I say?

"I-" I began, figuring if I couldn't say exactly what he wanted me to say most, I could say something similar. "I don't like Kyungsoo like that."

When he glanced back up, I expected him to give me a disbelieving look, but it turned out to be a hopeful one. His full attention on me, I could see in his expression how he wanted to believe me, how it would make him happy if what I said was true. I felt my heart softening when I saw that look in his eyes. I didn't want to dissapoint him.

"I just-" I faltered again, this time embarrassed by what I was about to say. "I don't have many friends, and I've been trying to make more. I've just talked to him more because he seems-"

I cut myself off, realizing what I was about to say. I couldn't say that, not in this situations, not after what Kai had just admitted to. I didn't want him to know what I was about to say, but he figured it out anyways.

"Because he seemed nice," he finished, looking like a wounded animal.

"That is-" I started, not knowing at all what I was going to say to try and fix it, but Kai cut me off.

"Would you have agreed to date him if he had asked you before me?" he asked, looking at me, his features hardening a bit into seriousness.

I hesitated, not sure how to answer, scared I'd say something to make it worse but fully away that by not saying anything it'd get worse anyways. I thought for a second, trying to come up with something fast.

"I honestly don't know how I'd have answered him," which was true, "but right now I'm dating you, and if he asked me out now I'd turn him down," which was also true.

The disbeleiving look surfaced at this point, and I realized I needed to say more. I felt my face flush as I realized there was no beating around it anymore.

"And I wouldn't turn him down just because I was dating you," I said, staring resolutely down at my ice cream, which I was holding in my hands as I rested my arms on the table, like him. My face was growing hotter every second as I thought about what I was going to say next. "I'd turn him down because... because I like you more."

The last part came out as an almost whisper, my face practically burning at this point, and I felt like my heart was beating so hard there had to be some physical symptom showing it, like those cartoons where the heart beat so hard you could actually see it coming out of their chest. After I said the words I realized how tense I had become and I had to concentrate not to squeeze too hard and break the cone my ice cream was in.

He didn't say anything at first, and for a few terror filled seconds I actually had the wild thought that I had somehow missunderstood him this whole time and he didn't actually like me and I had just made a huge mistake and made a fool of myself. 

But then his hand appeared in my line of sight, reaching for one of my own. He pulled it away from the ice cream, and then just held it. I looked up at him, my face still hot, to see what he meant by this, and saw that he was looking out the window next to us, eating his ice cream, blushing as well. That only served to make my face flare up with heat again, so I decided to take a leaf out of his book at started eating my ice cream again as I looked out the window.

"I just realized," he said after a moment, making me turn to look at him to see him looking back at me, his blush had faded enough that I couldn't hardly see it, a smile that was almost a smirk on his face, "that I got you to hold hands with me."

I pulled my hand back at that comment. My blush had subsided as well, but it returned now, though no where near the intensity that it had been at earlier.

"I didn't say that so you'd stop," he said, his face breaking out into a full smile at my reaction.

"Yeah, well," I said as I finished my ice cream cone off.

"Or would you rather we do the leg thing again? I could do it now, if you want," he continued, making me blush even more.

"No," I said definitively.

"So only one couply touching thing per date then? I'll have to really make it count next time," he trailed off, smirking.

"I'm going home now," I said, getting out of my chair, face flaming now.

"Wait, please, I'm sorry!" Kai said, while laughing getting up out of his chair as well. "I was just teasing you! I didn't mean to make you mad."

I sat back down, sitting sideways in the chair, prepared to get back up again if he started it back up. I looked at him sideways, thoroughly displeased even as he kept smiling while sitting back down himself.

"Sorry," he said again. "I couldn't help it. Your reactions are cute."

This made my face heat up again and I started resolutely straight in front of me, where he wasn't in my line of sight, completely at a loss for words.

"You know, Soo Young," Kai began, his tone sounding serious enough now that I turned and looked at him to see him still smiling, but instead of it being an amused smile, it seemed to come from fondness. "The more time I spend with you, the more I like you."

At those words my silly heart skipped a beat, and, figuring I had already said enough embarrassing things today that one more wouldn't matter, especially since he had said it first, I responded with.

"Yeah, me too."