It felt almost surreal to wake up the next day and realize that I had homework to do. Like homework and families suffering from divorce shouldn't even be part of the same world. Homework had suddenly seemed much less important.

But I still did it, because I had to, and I didn't want to dissapoint my mom. 

The following Monday I had gotten through my existential crisis and was able to focus better on school thanks to Jin Ri having a melt down. She had gotten her grade back on an exam she'd taken recently, and she hadn't done so well despite all of her studying. When she saw her grades she broke out into hysterical sobs for a minute and then had a raging fit before lapsing back into herself. She layed down on the couch and watched T.V. for the rest of the day, never smilling. If any of us tried to talk to her, she'd start going on about the futility of life and some other weird stuff that we all decided it was best to ignore.

She was much more normal by the next day, thankfully, but it definitely served to remind me that school work was indeed important.

"What's up with you two?" Sehun asked looking warrily at Chanyeol and Baekhyun that next Monday at lunch.

The two had taken their regular seats, but instead of the usual friendly chaos that accompanied them, they were cold and silent to everyone, with their bodies angled away from eachother. All of their playfulness had been replaced with a sober seriousness.

Neither of them answered Sehun. Baekhyun did glance up at Sehun, though, but then turned his eyes to Chanyeol, who's lack of a reaction caused Baekhyun to turn back to his food as if he hadn't done anything.

The rest of us sat quietly at the table as well, unsure of what to make of the situation. I hadn't ever seen them fight, and since everyone else seemed as lost as I was about the situation for once, I assumed no one else had, either.

"I still can't believe you did that," Chanyeol said to his food, almost mumbling, after about a minute or so of silence.

"I already told you I didn't know," Baekhyun said, turning to Chanyeol, then turning back again when he saw Chanyeol still hadn't moved. "You can't get mad at me for asking a girl out that you like if you haven't even told me you like her."

Chanyeol finally turned to Baekhyun at that, but instead of looking like he was ready to make up, he glowered.

"So does that mean you're going to call off the date?" he asked like he already knew the answer.

"No," Baekhyun said, now the one resolutely staring down at his food. Chanyeol didn't seem suprised by the response. "I already asked her, and I like her. Plus she said yes. It would be rude to her."

"So you're more worried about being rude to her than screwing your best friend over?" Chanyeol fired back.

"Don't be so dramatic, Chanyeol. It's just a date!"

"Then it shouldn't be that big of a deal to cancel it!"

"Guys! Guys! Calm down," Jong In cut in before Baekhyun could respond. "What are you talking about?"

Neither of them responded at first, but then Baekhyun turned to the rest of us at the table.

"Chanyeol apparently has a crush on this girl from our science class," he began.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol said warningly.

"I didn't know about it and I liked her too so I asked her out," Baekhyun continued anyway. "And she said yes and now he's acting like a baby about it."

"You guys are fighting over a girl?" Sehun asked incredulously.

Both of them turned to level their glares at him.

"Wait," Chanyeol said, turning ot Baekhyun again. "You just said you liked her, but you didn't tell me, but you're getting all upset because I didn't tell you that I liked her?"

"No, I'm getting all upset because you're overreacting to the situation."

"I'm not overreacting, you're just acting like a ."

Baekhyun physically flinched at the words, looking like he had just been slapped.

"You don't even care that I've had a huge crush on her for over a year," Chanyeol continued, unconcerned.

"I didn't know," Baekhyun tried to say more, but Chanyeol cut him off.

"You didn't know because you didn't bother to ask me anything even after you found out I liked her. You just decided you were going to go on the date anyway, not even caring. You're just being selfish," he said, and when he was finished he turned in his seat again so he was facing away from Baekhyun like he had been earlier.

Baekhyun's face betrayed his regret, but it seemed he didn't know what to say. As a result, the table fell back into silence that stretched and strained, no one seeming to know how to fix it.

"I know this is a bad time to say this, but I really should go ahead and get it out there considering," Tao spoke up.

He had been sitting with his head down during the silence, something clearly gnawing at him. He had seemed pretty down all day, which I had noticed during first hour, the class I had with him and Sehun. Usually the two joked around before school started, sometimes even including me in it. Today, though, they had kept to themselves, holding a quiet conversation, their expressions all seriousness.

"I know most of you know that I've been having some... family problems," he began carefully, staring down at his plate, pushing the food around that he had hardly touched. "On Friday, after karaoke, which, again, I'm sorry about leaving like that, I talked to my parents and we spent all weekend talking and stuff and we came to the conclusion-" Here he paused, looking uncomfortable and slightly nervous. "I'm going back to China."

The table was silent as we all stared at him, too shocked to respond at first. All except Sehun who was somber but unsuprised as he stared at something across the room.

"You're going back to China?" Jong In asked. Tao nodded. "Why?"

"Honestly, because I came here for all the wrong reasons," he aswered. "Ever since our parents got married, everyone's always been talking about Lay and how smart he is and how nice he is and all that. It just got annoying. When he told everyone he wanted to study abroad here everyone thought it was this amazing and great thing so I said I wanted to do it too." He heaved a sigh here. "It's not that I dislike it here, and I'm going to miss you guys, but I really don't like living away from my family, and my mom never really liked the idea anyways. Plus, it can get really expensive supporting two kids from another country. I've just made this into a competition and I don't want it to be. I just want to go home and be with my family and not hate my step brother, because if I stay here I think I will. I just want to go home and do my own thing and not worry about living under his shadow."

Everyone remaind silent as we all soaked in Tao's words. Even Chanyeol and Baekhyun seemed to have forgotten about their fight in light of these news.

I was extremely suprised to hear about Tao's feelings for Lay. I knew that there was something going on since Kyungsoo had explained it a bit Friday night, but I didn't guess it was from an... I guess and inferiority complex. I mean, in a way it made the most sense. Lay was always really nice and friendly and no sensible person could dislike him just for all that, at least not so severely as Tao seemed to have. Something like an inferiority complex, an issue that was more internal rather than a direct result of Lay's actions, just made more sense to me. And the more I thought about it in the context of what happened Friday night, the more those events began to make sense.

The conversation we had had in the hallway while he was waiting for Sehun actually began making sense. He said at the time that he felt like a failure, and I guess that was because he was struggling to keep up with Lay in whatever way he felt he had to, and he had said that was the only thing that mattered. He had built it up so much in his mind that he needed to be just as good as Lay in everyone's mind that he followed him all the way to another country for school. Then when he started struggling in another country where Lay seemed to be doing just fine, he thought he had failed.

My heart hurt for him all over again.

"Does that mean you're not going to finish out the year?" Kyungsoo asked, seeming to have picked up on something we all had missed.

Tao shook his head.

"I head back in a week," he clarified.

"A week?" Baekhyun burst out, giving voice to everyone's shock.

"Plane tickets are really cheap right now, and there's not much of a point to wait too much longer," Tao explained. "I don't want to wait until next year, and I want to get back before it gets too late in the school year. The only reason I'm staying through Sunday is to hang out with you guys a bit more before I have to go home."

"This ," Chanyeol said.

Tao shrugged, looking appologetic but resolute.

"No, I didn't mean it like that," Chanyeol hurried to clarify, noticing how Tao had taken it. "I meant that it that it didn't work out and you have to go back."

"Yeah," Baekhyun added. "We're gonna miss you."

"We should do something big before you go," Chanyeol suggested.

"Yes, definitely," Baekhyun agreed readily, their earlier spat forgotten.

The conversation quickly shifted into them all chiming in to make plans for one last big event before Tao moved back to China. Sehun seemed to pull himself back out of his state in order to take part in it, and Kyungsoo even spoke up a few times as well.

I remained silent as the conversation progressed, some of my old insecurities creeping up; I wasn't sure if I was supposed to conttribute anything to the discussion. I was friends with Tao, but I wasn't terribly close. I was part of the group, but I felt it was in a tenuous way. Like I wasn't sure if I could have ever been part of it if it weren't for my dating Jong In, if my being part of the group was conditional to my dating Jong In. The only one I was really very close to besides Jong In was Kyungsoo, and we still weren't terribly close, at least I didn't think. It had been so long since I had made a new friend, I wasn't sure what to think about it. I began wondering if I should say anything, just in case they would want to hear it, but I was too scared that they wouldn't want me to, so I just kept it to myself.

I guess Jong In noticed something was up with me, either from my silence or he had somehow noticed my discomfort, because he reached under the table to grab a hold of my hand, squeezing it. I glanced up at him and saw he was looking at me from the corner of his eyes, and he smiled at me when our eyes met.

"Do you guys ever give the happy couple thing a rest?" Chanyeol asked playfully.

"Yeah," it makes it harder on the rest of us who aren't in a relationship," Baekhyun teased as well before realizing what he said.

The mood at the table had instantly died, shot straight through the heart, as the two seemed to remember they were in a fight. Jong In released my hand, pulling his back seeming to feel guilty about accidentally reminding them about it, and I didn't feel much better.