Panic, that's what I felt. Sheer, unrestrained panic at the prospect in front of me.

I had a math test tomorrow and I had forgotten to start studying for it in all the excitement that had transpired over the weekend. 

Dead. That's what I would be when I take that test and fail. Dead.

Was I being melodramatic? Maybe. But I typically did well in math, which was probably obvious considering I'm in the advanced math class with upperclassmen, but getting better grades makes it more stressful when I don't do well. I get so disappointed with myself, and while I've never let down my parents, I can see how dissatisfied they are when they see I get a B when they believe I should be getting all A's.

"Are you ready for the test?" Kyungsoo asked when he caught up to me after the bell for lunch rang.

"No," I answered quietly, feeling the panic build up again.

"Oh," he said, noticing my face as we were walking down the hallway to the cafeteria. "Well I'm sure it won't be that bad."

"But I haven't studied for it at all..." I confided, surprised at how easily the words came out. I had never really talked to anyone about my nerves and stress with getting good grades on tests. Ga In was naturally smart, talented enough academically that by putting in an average amount of effort she was still one of the top students of her class, while Jin Ri had never cared much about grades. I couldn't ever talk to my parents about it, because I felt like I would be letting them down by showing I wasn't as smart as they thought I was.

And there wasn't anything particular about Kyungsoo that made me want to confide in him. It wasn't that he was relaxing to be around or he seemed trustworthy or I related to him on any level. We had barely spoken to each other the only other time we had a conversation. There was just a strong desire in me to share, to not hold the burden of my worries all to myself anymore. The desire was so strong it broke through all of my typical reservations when dealing with people I don't know well. It might have been a small statement, a small move, but it made me realize that I actually did want to make friends. That I wanted people I could talk to about these kinds of things when Ga In or my family wasn’t around or couldn't sympathize or even empathize with me. I wasn't sure if I could ever actually be friends with Kyungsoo, but I realized that I wanted to try, at least a little. 

"Well, the concepts are pretty easy for this test. If you study tonight I don't think it'd be too hard to catch up," he answered. "I honestly haven't studied much for it, it didn't seem like I needed to when I looked back over the kind of problems we'd be tested on, so I wouldn't worry too much."

Surprisingly, I felt better. Just a little, but it was better.

As we continued on our way I felt panic ebbing away a bit and slightly encouraged to try making more conversation with Kyungsoo. 

"Do you usually do well on tests?" I asked.

I didn't know Kyungsoo well, so I had to be more conscious of what I was saying when I was talking to him. That coupled with the fact that I now firmly believe I had a tendency to always say the wrong things or act wrong when I do try to socialize with new people, made me feel like anything I said was going to be awful and awkward. But I had to get over that. I wanted to try and be his friend.

"Usually, yeah. A's and B's. You?"

"I usually get A's," I answered.

"So you get better grades then I do, so you should be okay," he said, smiling at me, and I smiled back without thinking.

At that my mind flashed back to this morning to my conversation with Kai. The conversation about my smiling and laughing in front of other guys. For a moment I felt a flash of guilt, but then I quickly chastised myself for it. I should never feel bad about smiling at someone. Smiling to people should always be encouraged. Besides, that wasn't even what he had asked for. If it was, I would have broken up with him. What he had asked for was that I smile more for him, not less for others. 

That could only happen, though, if he was near me to make me smile and to see it, but I hadn't noticed him in the cafeteria yet. In fact, on Friday he hadn't shown up till a while after I had, so his class must be much farther from the cafeteria than mine was. I was slightly discomforted by this thought, thinking about having to sit at that table by myself again. All those guys seem nice and all, but there were a lot of them, and they were fairly rowdy.

Rowdy. I just used the word rowdy to describe a group of lively people. I feel like one of those bitter old people constantly yelling at people get off their lawn. 

We had entered the cafeteria and gotten our food by the time my thoughts finally reached an end and I switched off autopilot. I was a bit upset at myself because I hadn't really had much of a conversation with Kyungsoo before we reached the table, which I wasn't even going to try and fool myself into thinking that I would talk much while I was there, but I was more comfortable around him, and he seemed less tense with me himself. Progress. Baby steps.

When we sat down at the table Chanyeol and Baekhyun were already there having a heated discussion. Apparently, the question of what they would do if they had a time machine came up, and they both agreed that they would go back to Joseon times and wow the world with their knowledge of sciences and future events and eventually work their way up to being kings. They were currently discussing some of the new laws they would pass.

"First thing's first, we have to shorten girl's skirts," Beakhyun proposed seriously.

"I agree. Long skirts are too restrictive. They'd be much happier if they were shorter," Chanyeol said, nodding his head with his arms crossed.

"Wouldn't you agree, Soo Young?" Beakyun asked me, still with his serious look.

"Um," I began, caught off guard at being included. "I'm more of a pants girl."

"Pants?" Baekhyun repeated, aghast. "No. No pants. We'll kick you out."

"Wait, think about it," Chanyeol cut in, nudging Baekhyun. "Not all pants are bad."

Baekhyun looked at him for a moment, thinking hard. 

"No, you're absolutely right," Baekhyun said after a moment before turning back to me. "I take it back, you can stay in our country."

I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Since when do you have a country?" Sehun asked as he sat down at the table with Tao.

"Me and Chanyeol are going back in time to take over Joseon," Baekhyun answered as if this might be a typical Friday night excursion. "Would you guys like to come? We've already decided to pass a law shortening girls skirts."

"I think I'd rather just move back to China if you guys are in charge," Tao commented before digging into his food.

I was a little surprised to hear that Tao was from China, but having heard him speaking again, I noticed a faint accent when he talked. Thinking back to that morning, I don't think I noticed Lay with one, but that could just be because I wasn't looking for it. 

"And you're taking me with you," Sehun said after taking a drink.

"Then it'll just be us, Soo Young, and Kyungsoo. And Kai too, if he wants to come," said Baekhyun, brushing off the other comments.

"Probably not a good idea to take Kyungsoo," Sehun said, beginning to take on that same serious look Chanyeol and Baekhyun were wearing. "If you pass a law he doesn't like, he'd probably just assassinate you."

"He wouldn't do that to us!" Chanyeol denied, shooting a friendly smile at Kyungsoo, who merely paused with his food hallway to his mouth before arching his eyebrow.

"So cold," Chanyeol said, seemingly heartbroken.

"What are you talking about?" Kai asked as he sat down next to me.

"Chanyeol and Baekhyun are going to time travel to the past to take over Joseon but Kyungsoo is going to assasinate them," answered Tao.

"Sounds about right," commented Kai, nodding his head.

"How could you say that? We were going to make you our royal advisor!" cried Chanyeol.

"And my advice would have been to not make Kyungsoo angry," Kai countered.

"It would have happened sooner or later. At least you guys got to be kings for a while," Sehun said sadly.

"Who says he'll succeed? He could be caught before he kills us!" Baekhyun said at which point everyone turned to Kyungsoo who was peacefully eating his lunch.

"You're doomed," Sehun said after a few seconds, patting Chanyeol, who he had been sitting next to, on the arm.

I glanced over at Kai to see him looking at me too, which made me instinctually drop my eyes to my plate as my nerves started acting up again from having been caught. To try and cover it up, but also because I wanted to know the answer, I asked him a question.

"You never told me what you were doing outside my classroom this morning."

"I was waiting to see you," he answered easily as the other guys were still wrapped up in their conversation.

I felt heat rush to my cheeks at that. Another one of those things that was obvious but for some reason felt different when it was put into words. Obviously he was waiting for me, Sehun and Tao were already in class while he waiting outside, and I was the only one he talked to before he left. Still, him actually saying it like that affected me.

"Did you need something?" I asked, trying to calm my face down so I didn't actually start blushing. Not in front of all these guys I barely know.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to hang out after school?" He looked at me while he asked this, a small smile appearing on his face that he was trying to contain.

I could only assume as to why that was there.

"I can't, I have a math test tomorrow I need to study for," I answered, now even more upset over the exam and how I had forgotten to study for it.

I liked spending time with Kai, even if I was bad at making conversation and being social. I had already made the decision to try and be his girlfriend, and I had made the decision earlier to try and be friendlier to people in general, which made me more motivated with him. Plus, after our date on Saturday I felt more confortable around him. While the idea of spending time with him still made me a bit nervous, it wasn't so bad because I had done it before, and we seemed to get along just fine.

"Oh," he said, looking slightly disappointed. "How about tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow would be good," I agreed. "Can we go for ice cream?"

"I don't mind, but it's supposed to be colder tomorrow," he answered, smiling again.

"I like going for ice cream after tests," I answered, not even having thought about the cold. "It’s like rewarding myself after working so hard for the test."

"You reward yourself before you get your results?"

"I stay pretty stressed even after I finish a test, so I like to reward myself for my efforts and think to myself, 'at least I've tried', or 'at least I've done my best', and then I feel better and I'm not so worried," I explained, realizing it sounded weirder than how I thought it was. "But we don't have to go," I tacked on after that conclusion. "It's just something silly I do."

"No, it's good. I could always go for some ice cream," Kai said.

I nodded, and looked down at my food before taking another bite, feeling a little embarrassed by my habit now. When I stole glance back over at Kai, though, he was still looking at me. He was smiling at me, with that soft look he gets sometimes. I dropped my eyes back to my food as I actually felt my heart beat irregularly for a moment, and my cheeks warm.