"Sehun?" his name slipped out of my mouth from my suprise.

"Soo Young?" I turned and saw my family looking back at me, understandably confused.

"Can I talk to you?" Sehun asked, glancing at my family, his look obviously tacking on the word "alone".

"Soo Young, what's going on?" my dad asked, looking warily over at Sehun, probably sizing him up to see if he's a threat or not.

"This is guy I go to school with," I explained, although I wasn't sure how well I could do that being so confused myself. "I need to talk to him. You guys go on without me."

"Are you sure?" Jin Ri asked, recognition flickering in her eyes as she gave Sehun a very unfriendly look.

"Yeah, it's no big deal," I said, trying to get them to hurry up and go. As my brain began to calm and I tried to come up with a reason for Sehun to be standing outside of the restaurant, seemingly waiting for me, and wanting to talk to me away from my family, I began to realize that whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be good. If this conversation was going to go anywhere like our last one, although I don't see how it could be so bad, it would still be best to get my parents far away from him. I planned on telling them about Kai, me, not some guy who doesn't like or trust me. I sincerely believed it would not go over well with them if they found out I had a boyfriend by his friend accusing me of cheating, or whatever he was going to do this time.

"Well, alright. We'll see you at home, then," my dad said, shooting one last suspicious glance at Sehun before turning to go.

"Be careful," my mom called out to me as she turned as well.

Jin Ri, on the other hand, didn't say anything. She pointed two fingers at her eyes, then turned them to him to say "I'm watching you", and then proceeded to walk backwards a few steps before she bumped into a trash bin. At that my mom made her turn around and walk 'like a normal person' as she put while nagging at her.

I watched them go for a few seconds before turning back to Sehun, trying to prepare myself for whatever it was he was about to say. I was actually suprised when he started off with a question and not an accusaiton.

"Why didn't you tell Kai the reason you didn't want him walking you home was because you were meeting your family?"

He had stood up from leaning against the wall by now, his arms crossed and his face becoming sour.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," I said, disbelief beginning to grow in me. "What are you doing here, anyways?"

"Why can't you answer the question?" he persisted.

"Because it's none of your business." I was beginning to feel exasperated at being treated like a criminal yet again by this guy. It's one thing to be worried about girls cheating on you because that's what your ex did, it's another to be paranoid about your friend's girlfriend cheating on them. "You looked like you were waiting for me. Did you know I was in there?"

"That's none of your business," he shot back, only irritating me further.

"This looks like you followed me here," I continued, trying to quell my anger. 

"Why did you lie to Kai?" he asked again, looking like he was getting frustrated himself.

"I never lied to him!" I said, my voice raising in level with my irritation.

"You didn't tell him the truth! What, were you going to meet someone else and they canceled on you so you met up with your family instead?"

"I'm not cheating on Kai," I finally said, almost exclaiming it my voice had gotten so loud from my anger. "And I'm not going to! I really like him, and even if I liked someone else, which I don't, I wouldn't do that to him. I'm not that kind of person. So you need to just calm down and let this go because you're making a big deal out of nothing and it needs to stop."

I could see Sehun faltering for a moment, probably almost as suprised as I was at the vehemence my words came out with. But he regained his composure fairly quickly.

"If this was just dinner with your family then why couldn't you tell him about it? Why couldn't he walk you here to meet your family? Are you ashamed of him?" he demanded, now raising his voice a bit as well.

"No! It's not any of that. It's just that-" I hesitated, hating that I had to admit this to Sehun when I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell anyone about it like this "-It's just that my parents don't know I have a boyfriend." Sehun looked triumphant at that, and I hastened to further expalin the situation. "The reason they don't know is because I don't think they'd be all that happy about me having a boyfriend period. For most of my life I've only had one friend outside of my family, and they've been houding me about making more friends recently. I haven't told them because I don't think they'd really like the idea of me being in that kind of relationship when I still struggle with making and keeping friends."

Saying all of that was a lot worse than I could have imagined. It wasn't that I was justifying keeping Kai a secret, but it was why I felt I had to. Talking about how bad I am at socializing, especially to Sehun of all people, was just so embarrassing. It made me feel so ashamed of how pitiful I felt I was. Barely any friends, and I couldn't make any more even if I wanted to.

Kai wanting to date me and then bringing me into his circle of friends was a miracle. It was something that in all honesty shouldn't have happened. If things kept going like they usually would, I would still be alone at school, eating lunch by myelf while reading a book. Sure, I may have attempted to make friends like my parents were trying to get me to do, but I know myself. I would have given up. Even if things started off well and I met people and we talked and hung out a little bit, it wouldn't last. I'd feel like an intruder, or a burden. I'd stop trying to be friends, stop the little efforts I put into it, hoping they'd be the one to talk to me, to prove I wasn't a burden to them. The thing is, though, they wouldn't do it. Logically, I would know it's because to them it probably would look like I didn't want to hang out with them, and that they'd think they were the ones bothering me. How my brain would actually take it, what I would actually believe, is that I really was a bother to them, and that they didn't like me.

And so I wouldn't talk to them, and they wouldn't talk to me. I'd wind up alone again, except this time I would hate it instead of loving it, because I would be reminded how nice it is to have friends and to be around people, but feel like it was denied me, even though I was the one denying myself.

Kai incessantly trying to stay by my side and have a realtionship with me is the only reason I wasn't plunged into that loop again.

"So you're keeping it a secret because you want to keep dating him?" Sehun asked after a pause, looking like he might actually believe me. his tone was still skeptical, but I could see him seriously considering my words. If he knew anything about me before I started dating Kai, that would be all the proof he'd need to back up my words.

"Yes," I responded, calming down. My anger dampened.

"And you haven't told Kai because-" Sehun began, but I cut him off.

"Because I'm afraid he'll react like you did." I didn't mean it accusingly, and I don't think it came out sounding that way. Although, if it hadn't been for my having to fall back into my old shame and reveal it, I probably would have still been angry, and meant it accusingly.

"Oh," he said, shifting from one foot to the other, looking down at the ground, pensive.

We stayed quiet for a moment. I was trying to real my emotions back into place while Sehun looked like he was still processing everything I had just said.

"So you really like Kai?" Sehun finally asked, looking back up at me.

"Yes, I do. He's important to me," I said without thinking, too engrossed in my own emotions.

Once I realized what I had said, though, the shock came and then went fairly quickly, because I realized it was true. Kai was important to me. He probably hadn't realized he was doing anything all this time, but he had been. He had tried to get close to me for who I am, and I didn't have to try to be anything for him, didn't have to force myself to be friendlier than usual or anything like that. Honestly, I didn't have to try at all. The only reason I have been is because I like him as a person, and I really wanted to have a good relationship with him, no matter what it was wether it be platonic or romantic.

So while the words were a little embarrassing, I couldn't bring myself to regret them.

Sehun remained silent next to me for another few moments before he finally spoke again.

"I'm sorry." I glanced up at him, a little suprised. Sehun had been so gung-ho about disliking me, and since the last time he appologized was because he was forced to, I didn't really expect him to do it of his own free will this time. Especially sounding like he meant it. "I'm really sorry."

Then, suprising both him and me, I started crying. I was just so overwhelmed with all of the emotions that had stird and swirled around in me during this conversation that I just couldn't hold anything back anymore. I was so happy that Kai was in my life, I was sad and ashamed about how alone I used to be and feel, I was frustrated that Sehun had been treating me this way and then happy because he finally understood he had been wrong and appologized for it. There was just so much and the tears just started coming down and I tried so hard to hold it in but it just wasn't working.

Through the tears in my eyes I could see Sehun panicing, not knowing what to do. I felt really bad that I was crying in front of him and putting him in the awkward situation, but at that point there wasn't much I could do. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping, illogically, that it would help hold in the tears, when I felt Sehun's hand on my should. He patted it awkardly for a second before I felt him move closer and hesitantly put his arms around me and start patting my back. I could feel how tense he was, and it just made me cry harder that he was trying to comfort me when he was so obviously uncomfortable about it.

We stayed like that for a little bit before I finally could get myself to calm down. I pulled away, sniffing and rubbing at my face to get rid of the tears that were still there.

"Sorry," I managed to get out as my throat unloosened from closing up while I cried.

"It's okay," he said, "it was my fault."

"I'm still really sorry for doing that. I hate doing that," I continued, as I finished drying my face and sniffed again.

He shrugged and looked at the ground, and we were both silent, yet again. I suddenly remembered we were outside of a restaurant and I glanced over to the front door where people were walking in and out. Some people were giving us weird looks, some uncomfortable, which was understandable, and others annoyed. I realized that I didn't really care.

"How about we just call it even between us and not worry about any of this anymore," I said, looking back at him. "Like a clean slate."

He looked at me and nodded, and for the first time I didn't feel any measure of distate or contempt from him. That was promising.

"If you don't mind me asking," he began, "how did you guys even start dating? He never really told us much about it, just kind of announced it."

I took a deep breath and let it out. I thought about the question, wondering what I could say and how to say it without going into a whole long story about it. 

"He said he noticed me one day and then started liking me, and eventually asked me out. I said yes." Here I shrugged as I looked at Sehun. "I was looking for a friend."