"By the way," I said to Kai while we were eating lunch, "you don't have to walk me home today."

It was Friday, finally, after a week that had dragged on. It hadn't been particularly bad, it had actually been pretty good, but I was so excited for Saturday it felt like it had taken forever for it to get here.

And when I say "excited" I mean for the books, of course.

"Why not?" he asked, looking at me like a kid who was being punished.

"I'm going somewhere after school," I answered simply, resolutely not being moved by the face he was making at me.

"And why can't I walk you to that?"

"Because it's out of your way."

"So?"

"So I can walk by myself," I said nonchalantly as I continued eating.

I knew it was going to be difficult to convince him not to walk me home and to not be upset over it without having to tell him exactly why I didn't want him to, but it turned out to be harder than I thought because it felt like I was lying to him. Keeping secrets always made me feel like a liar. The thing is, though, that I didn't really feel like I should be feeling guilty about this to him. I was going to meet up with my mom after school, and I didn't want them accidentally bumping into each other. I should only be feeling guilty to my mom, and also my dad, because I've been hiding that I have a boyfriend. With Kai, though, the only thing I was hiding was that they didn't know about him, not because I was ashamed of him, but because I was afraid my parents wouldn't aprove of me dating anyone when I still had difficulty making friends.

Still, I hated keeping secrets.

I couldn't help but steal a glance at Sehun. While I wasn't cheating on Kai like Sehun had thought a while ago, I was still keeping secrets, even though it was a very different kind of secret. Sehun hadn't hardly spoken to me all week, which wasn't anything unusual with him in regards to me. The only thing that's really changed is that he spoke a little less during lunch because Tao, the person he spoke to the most during lunch, had started talking to me, and Sehun didn't appear to be too pleased with that.

While Sehun wasn't looking at me, he had stopped eating, and he was probably paying attention and had picked up on my failed attempts at secrecy without lying. Hopefully he wouldn't assume I was cheating again, but from how tense he was I knew the idea was definitely passing through his mind.

"I wasn't that clingly when I was dating Ji Yoon, was I?" Baekhyun asked as he stared at Kai, disgusted.

"No, you were worse," Chanyeol answered, looking as though he was recalling a particularlly bad memory.

"Where are you going?" Kyungsoo asked me from the other side of Kai.

Kyungsoo was about as talkative as I was during lunch, which basically meant that he only spoke when he was spoken to. I was a little touched that he was actively trying to make conversation with me, but at that moment Kai spoke loudly, leaning forward and blocking my view of Kyungsoo.

"I am not clingy," Kai defended himself against Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

"You're upset that you can't spend and extra few minutes with her when you see her almost every day. That's a bit clingy," Chanyeol answered.

"I'm not being clingy, I just want to spend time with my girlfriend," Kai shot back.

I leaned a little forward to see around Kai and catch Kyungsoo's eye to give him an appologetic look, which he returned with an understanding smile. The guys had gotten themselves worked up and were probably going to continue like this for the rest of lunch, no matter how many times they wondered off the main topic. This basically meant that it would be next to impossible to hold a side conversation unless you were sitting right next to the other person.

While I woud like to talk to Kyungsoo, I couldn't say I wasn't happy we were interrupted on this topic. Explaining to Kyungsoo where I was going and who I was meeting up with right in front of Kai wouldn't exactly help with the whole "secrecy" thing I was going for.

Staying true to form, the guys kept up their debate through the rest of lunch, but somehow managed to end up jumping from a discussion of what constitutes being clingy to Baekhyun's more recent crush on a girl in year twelve and whether or not he actually had a shot with her. Thankfully, the conversation had managed to keep Kai distracted enough that he didn't bother questioning me anymore on where I was going today, even after lunch ended and he walked me to class.

I expected him to bring it back up some time before or after last period since he had worked so hard to get me to let him walk me home that I didn't think he'd just let this go easily, but he didn't say anything. He didn't make a fuss about it at all, just finalized the plans for tomorrow with me and then went on his way. Maybe he was trying to pull back because of the conversation during lunch and he was worried he actually was coming off as clingy, or maybe he was just happy he had gotten me to agree to him walking me home and didn't want to push too much on it. Either way, I was glad and escaped as fast as I could to the store my mom and I had agreed to meet at after school ended.

I wasn't actually just meeting my mom. The main plan was that my family was going out to eat tonight to give my mom a break from cooking and also for something fun and different for me and my sister since midterms had just passed for us (which was much more of a nightmare for her than me, but I'm not arguing that when we also get dessert on these occasions) and also for my dad because this is a busy time for his work. I was meeting my mom early at a store so we could do some shopping until my dad and sister were free.

Honestly, I should probably be getting around to telling my parents soon. I have been making friends, sort of. I now consider Kyungsoo a friend, and I get along well with everyone else, besides Sehun. In fact, I had already told my parents about them, in a way, including Kai. They had been asking me about how my friend making has been going, and I told them I had found a group to sit with at lunch. I've talked about them vaguely; I'm pretty sure my parents are under the impression half of them are girls. I didn't really want to admit that all of new people I've been hanging out with are guys. It wasn't that I felt girls shouldn't have a lot of guy friends, but I had no idea how my parents might take that.

But I guess I need to stop worrying about that and just go ahead and tell them. The only real problem at this point is that I had spent so long not telling them about it that it actually made it harder to even think about telling them. Aside from having gotten a boyfriend so suddenly, I had also kept that fact a secret from them for a while now. There may have been a lot I wasn't sure about, but I knew for a fact that they would not be happy about that.

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts about my own problems, I was completely thrown when, after Jin Ri had met up with us, she dropped her news on me.

"Xiumin asked me to be his girlfriend."

"What?" I asked, looking at her, shocked.

"He asked me, and I said yes." she said as she looked back at me.

"That's..." I trailed off, remembering her telling me she wasn't sure how she felt about him, but I could tell she was trying to supress a smile. She was happy about this, probably ecstatic, but was waiting for my reaction. "Good." I tried ot cover the question in my voice, and guessed I did a good job as she beamed back at me. "So you guys are dating now?"

"Yes!"

"Well congratulations! This is so exciting!" I said, smiling back at her, unable to help it. Jin Ri was so happy, and it was infectious. I couldn't bring myself to fully trust Xiumin on this, and since I couldn't look inside his head, the only thing that would change that would be time. Be that as it may, I wanted to try and be as happy for Jin Ri and supportive of her as I could.

"Thank you!" she said, glancing around the store. I copied her, wondering what she was looking for. I noticed our mom on the other side of the store, absorbed in whatever she was looking at. "I won't tell mom and dad about it."

"What?" I asked, completelu confused. "Why wouldn't you tell them?"

"Well," she began, "since you haven't told them about your boyfriend, I figured it wouldn't be the best idea to announce it to them straight away. I figured I should wait until after you did it, or at least do it at the same time as you."

I stared back at her, processing this train of thought. I could see why she thought this would be a better idea for me. If I wasn't the only one holding this information back, it would probably make it seem less bad. Still, I didn't want Jin Ri to hold it back for me. I knew she was excited about it, I'd have to be blind, deaf, and suffering from severe memory loss not to notice that. I also knew that Jin Ri would be bursting to tell everyone about it, including our parents.

"No, you should go ahead and tell them tonight," I told her.

"It's not a big deal," she countered. "I've wiaited five years to date him, I can wait a little while more to just tell them about it."

"I really appreciate it, but I don't want you to hold back for me. I'm planning on telling them soon, anyways. Go ahead and tell them about Xiumin tonight, and I'll tell them about Kai sometime soon. Maybe before this weekend is even over."

"Are you sure?" she asked, breaking easier than usual. That was probably the best evidence I could find to show how excited she truely was about this, and how much I definitely could not let her keep this a secret.

"Yes. So serious that if you don't tell them tonight, then I will," I answered back.

She smiled back at me, and I knew I had made the right decision.

Not too long after that my dad got off work and we headed to the restaurant. The food hadn't even made it to the table before Jin Ri made her announcement. My parents were suprised, kind of. While my dad's face echoed my original shock, my mom only seemed to be suprised to be getting the news so late. Apparently she thought they were already dating. All in all, it had been a good dinner, and I almost brought up Kai since my parents acted so non-chlant about Xiumin, but I, of course, chickened out. 

As we left the restaurant, someone interupted me giving myself a strong mental talking to about my cowardice by calling out my name. It took me a moment to turn around having grown so used to hearing other Soo Youngs being called out so that I almost didn't respond to my name anymore. The only reason I stopped and turned around was because I recognized the voice.

I turned and saw Sehun leaning against the outside of the restaurant looking very displeased.