[P.S THIS CHAPTER IS A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS.]

EXO bus~

“That was terrible!” Suho blurts out. “You should have not mention being in love, Kai. People will get curious. They will think you’re actually in love.”

They’re on their way back to their dorm.

“But I am ACTUALLY in love,” Kai growls.

The members sigh in unison.

Sehun snorts, “Wow.”

“You shut up!” Kai asserts.

Tao, Chen and Kris look at each other, still confused on what’s going on.

Luhan tightens his grip on the car seat.

“You two, shut up!” Suho yells at them. “Manager-hyung will get mad when he finds out about this.”

When he cannot contain it anymore, Xiumin stopped them. “Let’s talk about this at the dorm, shall we? No use in arguing here. Besides, the rest of the members ought to know what’s really going on between the two of you. Isn’t that better, Suho?”

Suho restrains himself and nods. As they arrived at their dorm, Suho rushed in with heavy feet.

“All of you sit down.”

One by one, the members placed their bags on the floor, as they find their way to the living room. Luhan’s face turns pale as Kai sat beside him on his right while Sehun positioned himself on his left side.

“Please don’t do anything improper, you two,” he softly whispers to them. Sensing the older male’s nervousness, Kai held his wrist. When the maknae sees this, he grabbed Luhan’s other hand.

Suho notices the three and drops right back to his seat; his face filled with grievance.

“What the hell is happening here?” Kris inquires.

No one answered.

“Speak, Kai!” Suho out bursts.

It scares the members even more.        

“Why is it always me? I was just being honest back there,” Kai responds. “I meant what I said.”

“You mean you’re really in love?” Xiumin questions him. “I wonder who that person could be.” He continues with a suggestive tone after he noticed the two younger males clingy hands interlocked with Luhan’s.

Baek and Chanyeol are tensed and stick to each other to find comfort from the displeasing situation. Chen gives out a sigh. D.O looks away. Kris and Tao anticipate for an explanation.

Lay…

Well, Lay fell asleep despite the commotion.

Kai takes a deep breath and as soon as he opens his mouth, Luhan shut his eyes.

“Luhan-hyung.”

Luhan feels like a candle slowly burning.

..........

..........

The members were all silent. Kris and Tao look at each other.

“Haaaaaaaaa?” The EXO-M leader looks puzzled as he finally figures out why Kai is holding Luhan’s hand. Tao noticed it, too. “So that’s why.”

“Luhan-hyung. Do you have idea any about Kai’s feelings for you?” Suho asks.

Luhan affirms.

“Since when?” Baekhyun asks this time.

“In China,” Luhan replies as he bows down his head.

“I confessed to him in China,” the dancing machine adds.

Sehun looks away, annoyed.

Suho face-palms himself.  Xiumin leans forward and utters suggestively, “I am not sure if I want to know what happened afterwards.”

“Xiumin! Nothing happened!” Luhan exclaims and looks at him with disappointment.

Xiumin leans back to his seat. “I am talking about your answer to him, Lu-ge.” Xiumin gazes back at him.

“I stopped him, of course,” Luhan responds rather hesitantly.

“You rejected him?” Tao asks.

Luhan falls silent. “Reject” is such a heavy word. He is starting to realize that he wasn’t able to give a proper answer to Kai. Inside his head, he would have said NO.. But it will hurt Kai. Thinking about that hurts him, too. And now, he's not sure what to say.

Ignoring, Luhan in deep thoughts, Suho proceeds.

 “What about you Sehun? Since it comes to this, can you tell us your side?  Do you have feelings for Luhan-hyung as well?” Suho asks the annoyed maknae.

Luhan turns to Sehun, waiting for him to clear the issue.

“Yes. I do have feelings for Luhan-hyung.”

“Wha---- Sehun! Not you, too!” Luhan can’t help but cry out  again.

“Can we stop pretending now, Luhannie? I am getting tired of this.” He almost screams back at Luhan.

“Pretending?”

Sehun turns to him and flips out, “Look. You are not that naïve. You knew it all along. You just don’t want to admit it. When that idiot confessed to you, you realized that you are becoming self-conscious of other men; that you are capable of falling for another man as well. When I asked you to have a sleep-over in my room, you felt awkward. Why?”

Luhan’s look of surprise turns into embarrassment.

“You were conscious, shy. You were even blushing.”

“Stop reading me like an open book!” Luhan cuts him off.

The other members stiffen as the two continue to argue. Kai tries to calm Luhan down but failed to do so.

“You asked me if I am capable of falling in love with another man and I said yes. I was telling the truth. I’m in love with you for the longest time. You were just too busy to see it; afraid to accept it because after all, we are best friends. I don’t want to risk that as well so I kept silent for a long time.”

Luhan is devastated, furious. He is lost in thoughts and is about to burst in tears. Kai noticed him and tries to stop the maknae. “Your mouth, Sehun!”

“No. You listen, too, idiot. I held this for so long to protect Luhan and EXO. And now, you confidently confessed to him, messing with his feelings and push him to accept you.”

He turns to Luhan, “I did not expect you to lie to me. I was waiting for you to open up but you didn’t. Do you like him?”

“Wha-what? I did not open up because I was afraid of what you might think! You will worry. Everyone will be troubled,” Luhan can’t help but sob. Kai embraces him as he tries to dry the older male’s tears. He isn't answer that he is holding back unto Kai like a helpless child.

“Shshshsh… don’t cry, Lu.”

Realizing how hurt Luhan is, Sehun finally shuts his mouth after his outburst.

The other members are all ddumbfounded and were not able to speak for a moment. Suho, in particular, is speechless. 

“Let’s put an end to this.” Xiumin finally breaks the silence.

The rest looks at him, upset. “Don’t get too involve with your emotions. It’ll get in the way of your work; our work. I understand if you cannot help but fall for Luhan. But you must also understand and recall the reason why we’re here.” He paused for a moment then continues. “We are all stressed today so it's better if we cool down and rest.”

Drained and gloomy, the members silently depart. Sehun quickly went to his room, leaving Luhan and Kai behind. Suho is still seated on the sofa, insensible. Kris taps his back to express a kind of affinity to the other. He finally stands up and follows the other members.

Luhan’s POV

I can feel them staring at me like I am at fault. I can’t blame them. I am also disappointed with myself. Sehun’s mad at me. Xiumin doubts me. Suho is disheartened. The other members look frustrated. As they leave, I can hear their sighs, I can see how they shake their heads.

All I can do is sulk. I was trying my best to avoid this kind of situation; to trouble everyone yet it has come to his.

This is the first time Sehun and I argued like that. I have no idea how to pacify him. And knowing that he’s in love with me all along makes me question his intentions back then. How blinded I was. He has a point. Maybe I was so scared to face it that’s why I remained a friend and a hyung to him. I should have known that Sehun was hurting deep inside.

 Kai’s hugging me right now. I can’t even find the strength to drive him away. I always push him aside. While I am busy thinking about the other members, I am denying his feelings. I am starting make him suffer like what I did to Sehun by ignoring him. I was so engrossed with our status as an idol. I forgot how to feel. I forgot how to be normal.

When he confessed, I was blaming him the whole time for messing with my feelings  and peace of mind, but at this moment, as he’s embracing me tightly, to be honest, I’d rather stay here than be somewhere else.

Luhan deliberately lays his head on Kai’s shoulders. He was tired; physically and emotionally.

The younger utters soflty, “You're too kind, Lu. For once, can you stop thinking about others and start understanding your feelings?”

******

The next morning, the dorm is filled with silence. The only thing you can hear is the sound of a frying egg. Chanyeol is in charge of the breakfast this morning but it seems like the other members lost their appetite. He calls for them one by one.

Suho declines. D.O is still in the bathroom. Tao and Chen are sleeping. Kris went for a jog. Sehun left the dorm for a