“It hurt because it mattered.” –John Green

~*~

Soojung’s POV

Me and Aerin walked to the last class and found our way to the seats at the corner of the class. And did I tell you I haven’t seen Jongin around? He used to wait me by my locker but he was nowhere to be found and now it’s the last period so I assume that he is absent. Millions of thoughts poured down on me all at once that everything just seemed so confusing. I tried to think logically and positively but all the bad negative thoughts just kept on coming inside my pretty little brain. I can’t help but to think the bad thoughts.

As I was sitting there, I could hear the teacher teaching her lessons, which I found quite boring considering I’ve always focused on hearing out what the teacher had to say but now I’m completely out of my mind. I can’t focus on the lessons, there is only one thing—well, someone in my mind. Then it hit me, just this morning, I saw his car parked right beside my car, so that means that he came to school. But where the heck is he?

“Hey,” a voice whispered beside me, it was Aerin. “You okay? What are you thinking?”

“Jongin.” I mumbled. And then I realized I just blurted out his real name. For God’s sake I hope she doesn’t catch what I mumble just then.

“Huh?” Thank God.

I sighed in relieve. “Nothing.”

“Well, you clearly had your mind in another space.” Aerin said as she chuckled and then turned her attention towards the lesson. While I was still in ‘another space’.

Just then the bell rang, signing the end of school, for today. Everyone packed their things and went out of the classroom. I didn’t even move an inch. Aerin looked at me with a confused yet concerned gaze. “Don’t you want to go home?” Aerin asked.

I sighed and nodded. “You need a ride?”

“You got a ride?” Aerin asked back.

I smirked. “You’ll see.”

We both walked side by side to the parking lot. The school was empty by now because everyone was rushing to get home and we came out late. “We didn’t see Seohyun and Soyeon today. Where were they?”

“I’ve got no idea.” Aerin said and shrugged.

Why everyone we wanted to see is not around today?

As we reached the parking lot, the scene right before my eyes stopped my tracks, Aerin also. Lo and behold, Kim Jongin wearing uniforms leaning against his car. I scoffed as I saw him but he still hasn’t seen me because his back was facing us. I don’t even know what this boy is thinking. “Is that Kai?” Aerin asked as she squinted her eyes.

“Let’s go.” I said furiously and we both walked to my car. I started towards him and stopped right after he turned around and saw me. He smiled and start running towards me. I scoffed and continue to walk. As I was able to reach, he tried to hug me but I dodged with bowing down. I smiled in victory. Aerin who was watching the whole thing seems shocked but she finally understands what is happening. She knows that I am upset.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jongin stopped me by pulling me and spun me around so I am facing him right now.

I rolled my eyes. “You know what’s wrong.”

“If this is about me not going to school. I apologize--” Jongin said but I cut him off.

“NO,” I said and pulled my hand out of his hand. “I’m okay with you not going to school. At least can you tell me first so that I don’t have to worry sick about you?!” I sighed, “I can’t even focus on all of the lessons today.” I mumbled the last part.

He smiled. “I have my reasons. Hear me out, please?” He pleaded, gazing softly at me and once again I’m giving in to that soft gaze at me.

“Spill” I said as I crossed my hands across my chest.

He gazed at me. “I did go to school today. I waited for you by your locker as usual but you didn’t came. I thought maybe I was too early so I went to the class by myself,” He explained and I nodded signing him to continue. “But suddenly I got a call from my dad’s butler saying that my mom got hospitalized. That’s why I left.”

“B-but your car is still there. You didn’t take your car to the hospital?.” I asked. Well, more like pointing out. He could be making things up you know? Who knows.

“I know. I left my car,” He chuckled. “I was too shocked that I run out of the school and grab a taxi right away. I realized that I could have drive my car when I arrived at the hospital.” 

I shut my eyes tightly. I just released a big wave of anxiety out of me when I heard his explaination. I trust him. I really do. How can I not believe that explaination? That was rasional. “How’s your mom?” I asked. Guilty in charge.

“She is fine,” He said and smiled. “Now, can I get my hug?”

I smiled and run to him as he opened his arms. “I’m sorry. I was too caught up in my negative thinking.”

“That’s fine,” He said and rubbed the back of my head. “That just shows how much of a loving girlfriend you are.”

“Uhm, guys?” The voice make us pulled back. Oops. I totally forgot that Aerin was still there. “Can I go home now, Soojung? You can do AFTER you take me home.” She giggled.

We both chuckled and I nodded. “I’m sorry. Too caught up in the mood.”

“Need a ride?” Jongin asked and pointed at his car.

“I got my ride.” I said and pointed at my car. His eyes widened in both shock and fascinate. His jaw nearly dropped as he saw my fancy car. Who wouldn’t?

“Shocked much?” I said and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Nice ride, babe!” He said as he touched my car, going around it, examinating it, every part of it. This kid had a thing for cars. “You know, this is one of the lastest models.”

“Everyone kept telling me that.” I said and chuckled.

“Let’s see if your baby can beat my baby.” Jongin said, challenging me on a speed race. Is this kid messing around with me? I’m clearly the best driver between us both. He is reckless while I’m cautious. He is on for fun while I’m in for safety. This kid drive as if the cops are chasing him.

---

I stomped at the brake as we arrived at Aerin’s residence. To be honest, I was quite shocked to see her house, it was lifeless. From the outside, it seems so dark, oddly, I found it quite familiar. My house was just like that—at first. My parents are changing now, for good. Aerin’s parents are probably like mine used to be.

“Thank you for the ride,” Aerin said as she jumped out of my car and I rolled down the window. “He is following,” Aerin pointed at Jongin’s car behind me. He tried to made me and Aerin to ride in his car but his car only has two seats—how funny of him. “You are lucky, you know. Don’t lose him.”

“I won’t.” I said and smiled. She bid goodbye and walked into her house.

I took a deep breath and looked behind. He was still there waiting patiently. This is odd. We are a couple but we drive in different cars. We are one of a kind, I suppose. I took out my phone to call him. Yes, I’m too lazy to go out of my car to talk to him.

“Why are you calling?” Jongin asked through the phone and laughed. “We are pratically just a few feets away, dear one.”

“I’m lazy.” I said and once again I heard him laughing.

“Sure you are.” He said, “So, where should we go?”

“I thought you have a plan?”

“I have but I’m asking, just in case,” He said and paused for a few seconds.

“In case?”

“You wanna go somewhere else.” He replied.

“Well, I don’t so let’s go with your plan.”

“Alright, follow me.” He said and I heard a car being started. “If you can keep up.” He said. Excuse me, did he just say that? Like hell no that I couldn’t keep up with him.

Jongin’s POV

We entered the freeway a few minutes later and I kept on looking through the front mirror to see if she was doing alright back there following me. She actually can keep up with me and that’s pretty amazing because no one can keep up with me, even my best friends. Well maybe I’m slowing down my pace only becaue she is a girl, jeez, I can’t drive like my usual self. That’s cheating.

I led her to the country side of Seoul. I’ve always wanted to go live in the country, it seems so peaceful. I have a villa here, I used to go here with my mom and sisters without my dad. But now, my mom is sick, my sisters are both married—without my dad’s permission so they are nowhere to be found, they are probably overseas, living their normal life with their husbands, and probably kids, who knew if I had become an uncle. I hope someday I would be like my sisters. Marry someone I love and be free from my dad’s rules.

As we arrived, I stopped the car’s engine and so did Soojung. We were in the middle of a grass field, with forest on the side of it. It was like everything I imagined it to be. All green. My mind went to a peaceful state as I breath the fresh air of country air. “Where are we?” I heard Soojung asked as she closed her car’s door. I turned to face her, she had this confused yet relaxed face.

“My playground,” I said and put my hands in my pockets. “I used to go here with my mom and sisters.” I continued and looked at her who is now standing beside me.

“I love it,” Soojung said as she put her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms in my arm. “It’s so peaceful.”

“Right?” I said. For a moment we just stood there, enjoying the breathtaking view across us. It’s such a shame that people doesn’t know this place existence. That’s why I’ve claimed this place as my ‘safe haven’. If she have her ‘little heaven’ then why don’t I have one. “Do you here that?” I asked, out of nowhere.

“What?” Soojung pulled her head away from my shoulder. “I hear nothing.”

“Exactly.” I said and she chuckled.

“There’s a small lake over there, let’s go.” I said and took her hand in mine as we both walked across the grass field to find the lake. The lake has been there since the first time I found this place, though I’m the only one that knew the lake’s existence.

“What’s in there?” Soojung asked while pointing at the forest. I’ve never been there, it seems so dark eventhough it seems so bright here, a forest will always be a forest. I just shrugged and we both continued to walk to the lake.

As we arrived, Soojung gasped at the sight right in front of us. I have set up a simple picnic for us under a tree right beside the lake so we can enjoyed the view. “When did you do this all?” Soojung asked and crossed her arms on her chest.

“I don’t have a butler for nothing.” I said and shrugged.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Soojung said and run to the picnic set. I just laughed silently at the sight of excited Choi Soojung. At the moment, she seems so innocent and pure that I can’t get enough of. But to be honest, I liked the aggressive and possesive Choi Soojung. Isn’t it obivious tho?

“So you have a feminine side of you.” I stated as I sat down beside her, who is now looking through the basket full of foods. “And a eater.”

“Pfft,” She scoffed. “You have to keep up, mister.”

“I will, don’t worry.” I said and laughed.

There was a moment of silence. She was make sandwich for the both of us and I just sat there in silence, admiring the view. I really hope that I remember of bringing a camera with me. My girlfriend and my favorite place in one picture is like—well, PERFECTION.

“What are you thinking?” Soojung suddenly asked and took a bite of her sandwich.

“You.” I said and took another sandwich that she made.

She choked on her food. “Damn, that was cheesy.”

“I know right.” I said and took a bite of the sandwich. “You know sometimes, I wonder, what if I accepted the casting from this big agency?” I asked but she is not responding which make me continue, “I rejected them but they still forced me, and once they said I don’t need to do the audition. That’s tempting, you know.”

“Your dad might kill you.” Soojung said and I looked at her. “But the choice is yours.”

“I don’t mind him try to kill me as long as I can fulfill my dream.” I shrugged.

“I told you, the choice is yours.” She said. “Choose whatever makes you happy. Your happiness is all that matters in the end, right?”

“You know my happiness?” I asked and she looked at me, “Dancing, my mom, my sisters, and...you.” a smile appeared on her face. “But, what makes me happy, dancing—is like a faint dream. My mom—I don’t know when will she be healthy again. My sisters—they are nowhere to be found. That left me with one...you.” I sighed and continue, “Don’t leave me like everyone else, okay? I can’t do this on my own. I need you.”

“I won’t. I promise.” She said as she moved closer to me and hugged me like there’s no tomorrow. As she pulled away, a tear escaped her eyes and in that moment, I pressed my lips against hers.