Thank you for the comments and subs! :) 

Writing from Tiffany's POV is so much fun! 

Chapter 9

Sunny is sitting across the table talking animatedly about her latest projects while Tiffany pays little attention to her words. She had almost forgotten how much she had missed this girl. When Tiffany first left for LA, Sunny texted her every day until Tiffany decided that it was too difficult to truly be in LA when her heart was in Seoul.

“Fany-ah,” Sunny stares at her endearingly and takes her hand. “How have you been?”

In that moment, Tiffany could not think of what to say. The most clichéd question in the book, and she was still caught off-guard, distracted by the loving way Sunny was looking at her. She wanted to tell Sunny about all the exciting work she’s been doing with Jessica, but it all seemed irrelevant, almost trivial.

“I have missed all of you,” Tiffany squeezes Sunny’s hand and smiles genuinely.

“Even Taeyeon?” Sunny asks hopefully, seemingly worried about her upcoming reply.

“Especially Taeyeon,”

It was something she had refused to admit for a really long time and the weight of her sudden honestly comes crashing down much faster and harder than she thought it would.

“She misses you too!” Sunny claps her hands enthusiastically, nearly knocking over her glass. “That kid pretends it doesn’t bother her, but she buys your magazine every time she passes by a newsstand. She has at least a dozen copies of each issue.” 

Tiffany bites her lip. She did not need to know that. Thinking about Taeyeon fills her up with an overwhelming amount of guilt, and she feels like her heart is too small to contain it.  

“I’m sorry,” she directs her apology to the wrong person.

“She’s happy I think,” Sunny adds after sensing the change in Tiffany’s mood. “She’s changed. That kid has grown up quite a bit. She had to. It’s been…”

Sunny is interrupted by both their phones beeping and vibrating at the same time.

“That’s a funny coincidence,” Sunny curiously reaches to check her phone and Tiffany does the same.

There was a new message in their group chat.

Ever since Jessica left, their group chat had been inactive. Tiffany would sometimes look at old messages when nostalgia hit. She had memorised the last message sent on September 28, 2014. It was from Jessica.

“I’ll see you girls in Shanghai! <3”

Jessica was fired the day before the Shanghai fan meet and there had been no other posts since that day.

Until now.

“Ayo! GG! Let’s bring it back to OT9.”

Sunny was right. Taeyeon has changed.

“I told you!” Sunny says excitedly, as if having read her mind. “The old Taeyeon either starts every conversation with a question or expresses every statement like a question. She’s much bolder now. It’s probably because she’s been bossing people around so much with her solo album. Our grown up kid leader is going to kick !”

Tiffany smiles earnestly, feeling it slowly reach her eyes. She is immensely grateful that Taeyeon had Sunny these past two years, like how she had Jessica. Tiffany has always thought of Taeyeon as her responsibility; not a burden like Taeyeon often feels she is, but like an anchor that keeps her at bay and reminds her that she’s needed someplace. In a way, Taeyeon felt like home.

“Haha I’m scared now!”

It was intended as a jest but Tiffany once again surprises herself with how much truth her simple words contain.  She knows it’s stupidly egotistical on some level, but Tiffany is absolutely terrified to be reunited with a Taeyeon who does not need her.

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“Get the door!” Jessica yells from the bathroom, startling a dazed Tiffany. She yanks her earphones out hastily and hurries to the door, now painfully aware of the ringing doorbell.

The door opens just before her hand comes in contact with the handle and she falls forward into a pair of slender arms.

“Sorry! I forgot I had the keys.”

Her heart skips a beat at the sound of Yoona’s voice.

“She’s becoming one of those dumb actresses.”

Could it be?

“Says the dumb model.”

Tiffany squeals in joy and leaps forward to hug both her guests, the momentum causing them to fall backwards slightly and take a few rapid steps to regain their footing.

“Cake! Cake! Cake!” Sooyoung pushes Tiffany shoulder away from hers to reveal a half squashed box.

Tiffany gasps and takes a few guilty steps backwards while Sooyoung cautiously lifts the cover of the box to inspect the damages done to the cake. She frowns, shakes her head, and waves one hand in the air dismissively. “We’re going to finish it anyway,” she shrugs and breaks into a wide grin. She holds it for seconds until her expression falls abruptly, as if suddenly remembering something important.

“You jerk!” she punches Tiffany’s arm, hard. “What am I to you? You left without even saying goodbye! Do you know how hurt I was?”

Sooyoung continues hitting Tiffany until Yoona steps between them, effectively shielding Tiffany from Sooyoung’s wrath.  Tiffany hides behind Yoona, rubbing her arm to soothe the ache. She isn’t sure if Sooyoung is just pretending or if she is genuinely pissed off. It is probably somewhere in the middle.  

“Could you please not kill Tiffany? You can’t imagine how difficult it is to find an editor I trust,” Jessica shouts from inside the dorm. “Though it’ll be funny if we waited two years just to stay at 8 members,” she adds.

Tiffany thinks that there will never come a day when they can ever joke about this issue without feeling its harsh sting.  Judging by Yoona’s and Sooyoung’s expressions, it was clear that they shared her sentiments. She moves between the both of them and takes their hands.

“I’m here now.”

She knows that it doesn’t change how she left things, or the fact that she left them, but she hopes that her presence somehow makes things better.

“I’m here now,” she repeats as she leads them inside.

Tiffany observes the interaction between Sooyoung, Yoona, and Jessica and is surprised that there is no lingering tension between them. It is as if the past two and a half years did not happen – Yoona is lying on the couch with her head resting on Jessica’s thighs while Jessica plays with her hair and Sooyoung is leaning against Jessica’s shoulder, occasionally feeding Jessica and Yoona cake.

She hands Sooyoung a glass of water and lightly kicks Jessica.

“Can I switch places with you? I am so jealous,” she confesses to Jessica with a pout. Tiffany has not felt this left out in a long time.

“Aw poor baby,” Jessica drawls sympathetically. “Not to take sides, but this is what you get for not bothering to visit.”

“Or call.”

“Or text.”

“Yah!” she exclaims, feeling attacked. “Leaving all of you definitely hurt me more deeply than it did any of you. So stop making me feel guilty and start making me feel at home!” Tiffany demands and stomps her foot loudly. Her audience is stunned into silence until Yoona breaks into a laughing fit.

“I’m sorry unnie,” she pants. “You know how everyone is really scared of you when you’re serious? I can never take you seriously when you’re serious. I usually try really hard not to laugh during those times, but it’s been too long since I’ve seen you like this.”

Tiffany rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue playfully in response. Sooyoung gets up and stands behind her, gently massaging her shoulders. She leans backwards when she feels Sooyoung’s arms wrap around her.

“It’s so nice having you back. Without you, there really isn’t anyone for us to bully. Also, I didn’t think it was possible, but your Korean has gotten worse.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

“You should listen to her new songs. They’re really good, especially the ones that Yuri wrote,” Jessica gestures towards Tiffany’s computer sitting on the kitchen counter. Tiffany had been re-watching old videos of Taeyeon before Sooyoung and Yoona’s surprise visit.

“I have a lot of catching up to do, huh?” she says as she searches for Taeyeon’s latest songs. Tiffany used to be very competitive when it came to being Taeyeon’s number one fan. There was an unspoken rivalry among the members for that position, her strongest competitors being Yuri and Sunny.

“Not just with her songs, Steph.”

Jessica is brainstorming ideas for her upcoming summer line, drawing rough sketches and rejecting most of them almost right away, their torn and crumbled remains scattered across the table. Tiffany had been with Jessica in Girls’ Generation for 8 years, but she only truly saw Jessica at her worst while working with her in BLANC & ECLARE. Jessica was a complete neurotic mess when Tiffany first joined the company, living off caffeine and palpable frustration, driven by the fear of failure.

“When was the last time you spoke to Taeyeon?” Tiffany asks, trying to distract Jessica. It seems to work because Jessica puts her pen down and crosses her arms on the table. It is ironic how Tiffany often uses the members to distract Jessica from work stress while Jessica usually uses work to distract Tiffany from missing the members.

“This morning. When was the last time you spoke to her? The night before you left. That’s what I learnt today. That’s stupid.” Jessica states accusingly, the agitation from work seeping into the conversation. “I promised I wouldn’t ask about that night, but… it’s stupid. You know what?” Jessica grabs Tiffany’s phone from the counter. “I’m going to call her for you.”

Tiffany’s eyes widen and she tries to get her phone back from Jessica, silently praying that Taeyeon does not pick up. Tiffany had imagined their dramatic reunion, romanticized it even, and Jessica was going to ruin everything.

“Hello?”

Tiffany stares blankly at the phone lying on Jessica’s palm. Jessica urges her to take it, finally sighing exasperatedly and forcing it into Tiffany’s hand. She slowly brings the phone to her ear, heart speeding up in the process.

“Miyoung?”

Tiffany had not heard Taeyeon call her name in a very long time. She fails to hide her delight at the sound of Taeyeon’s voice, warranting a contemptuous sneer from Jessica. Her eyes meet Jessica’s and for some reason she starts to panic.

“Taetae, I’ve missed you like crazy! But I just remembered that I have to be at someplace right now so I’ll talk to you later. Love you, boo!”  She kisses her phone and ends the call quickly, giving Taeyeon no opportunity to respond. She lets out a breath of relief, and proceeds to send Taeyeon a message containing only a series of hearts.

“Coward,” Jessica taps her pen on the table repeatedly, the judgment evident in her voice and expression. “You weren’t even like this when you broke up with Nickhun.”

“Well, Taeyeon and I have been together much, much longer,” she declares proudly.