Chapter 3

Taeyeon leads the group members for a final bow. The audience cheers enthusiastically, fervently waving their pink glow sticks in the air. Taeyeon could feel her eyes tingle as she scans the crowd. She takes a deep breath to take it all in. Standing on a stage with thousands of adoring fans cheering her on is a feeling that she will never get used to.

She feels a light squeeze on her hand and she turns to her left to see Tiffany smiling brightly at her. Taeyeon thinks that Tiffany’s smile is blinding and it is almost unfair how someone could look so beautiful. 

Yoona’s sudden back hug makes her fall forward and she bursts out laughing her signature laugh. The crowded roars in response. The rest of the members take this as a cue to start goofing off on stage. Watching her fellow members being their silly selves, she feels a tinge of sadness. She realises that she is already missing them prematurely.

They celebrate their 7^th anniversary that night and Taeyeon feels like this means more to her than any of her 25 birthdays.

Her manager gives her a small nudge on the shoulder.

“It has been two weeks. The board is wondering why you’re taking so long to sign the contract.”

Taeyeon is annoyed at how confident the board members seem about her decision. She had been given a lot of time and space from both the management and her friends to contemplate this matter. Most people began to back off after they realised that signing the contract was less of a choice than an inevitability.

“I have told the girls. They support you 100%.”

Taeyeon gapes at her manager in shock. Thoughts are rapidly rushing through her head and she finds it difficult to form a coherent sentence. She senses an unfamiliar feeling engulfing her and poisoning her thoughts.

Anger.

“I need some air,” she murmurs as she hurries to leave his presence.  

__________________________________________________________________________________

“You really shouldn’t drink so much,” Sooyoung says as she helps lower Taeyeon onto the passenger seat.

Taeyeon reaches out to cup Sooyoung’s face with both her hands. “You’re so pretty. No wonder you’re in a drama,” she drawls.

Sooyoung brushes Taeyeon’s bangs aside and gently kisses her on her forehead. “I take that back. I like drunk Taeyeon,” Sooyoung comments and sits at the edge of the car seat, supporting herself with one foot on the pavement.  

“Sooyoung-ah, I feel like I hardly see you. I miss you so much.” Taeyeon wraps her arms around Sooyoung’s waist and holds her tightly.

“You have been seeing me every day for weeks, you dork!” Sooyoung retorts, while affectionately ruffling Taeyeon’s hair.  Taeyeon feels her head get heavier and proceeds to rest it on Sooyoung’s shoulder. She hears the driver entering the car. Soon, she will be back at the dorm and majority of the girls will be going back to their respective homes. They had their last comeback concert earlier today, and there would be no need for all the girls to stay in the dorms.

“Stop holding onto me so tightly! I can’t breathe,” Sooyoung exclaims, half-heartedly trying to loosen Taeyeon’s grip. “You’re such a clingy drunk. I love it. You should lean on me more, do you think that I did not notice…”

Taeyeon is gradually lulled to sleep by Sooyoung’s affectionate ramblings.

The car jolts and Taeyeon’s head bumps against the side window, waking her from her drunken slumber.  She feels someone shuffling beside her and soon her head is moved from the cold, hard window onto something much more comfortable. She breathes in the familiar scent and nuzzles up against her best friend.

‘It tickles.” Tiffany giggles softly.

Taeyeon tries to fall asleep again but the light on Tiffany’s phone is piercing the darkness. Tiffany is checking tomorrow’s schedule and adding events to her phone calendar. Closing her eyes tightly, Taeyeon blindly reaches out and barely manages to cover Tiffany’s phone with one hand.

Tiffany takes the hint and locks her phone immediately, allowing Taeyeon’s eyes to rest in comfortable darkness.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, fingers intertwined.

“How long do you think Girls Generation will last?”

Tiffany’s tone is nonchalant, but her question weighs Taeyeon down like an anchor.   

Taeyeon is drunk and tired and not thinking when she replies.

“As long as I don’t sign that solo contract.”

Tiffany does not seem surprised at Taeyeon’s sudden confession. Maybe she is, but Taeyeon is just too intoxicated to notice. 

“You can’t protect us forever, silly,” Tiffany says and leans her head onto Taeyeon’s.

__________________________________________________________________________________

She signs the contract three days later and drops it off with the receptionist.

It is relatively painless. Taeyeon wonders if she had been overthinking this decision like she does with almost every other decision in her life.

She received dozens of congratulatory messages from her members, her family, and people in the company but she does not bother replying to any of them. The girls want to throw her a party to celebrate but it has been an hour and they still can’t find a decent time that fits everyone’s schedule. Taeyeon takes this too personally and turns off her phone.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that.”

Taeyeon’s heart leaps and she instinctively makes a sharp turn, only to have her cheek collide with Yoona’s chin.

“Your chin is just as bad as Juhyun’s shoulders!” Taeyeon rubs her cheek with her palm and pretends that it hurts more than it actually does.

 “Unnnnnieeeee, I’m sorry.”

She finds Yoona’s baby voice completely endearing (she always has) and fails to hide it, losing all feeble attempts to suppress her smile. Yoona grins victoriously and pulls out her phone to snap a picture of Taeyeon holding that stupid smile seconds before Taeyeon manages to compose herself.

“Yah! Why are you here?”

Taeyeon could tell that Yoona is caught off-guard by that question. Yoona frowns and looks down pensively for a moment before meeting Taeyeon’s eyes again, revealing her classic look of mischief.

“I’m kidnapping you, Taeyeon unnie.” She pulls Taeyeon into a half hug with one hand and clicks her car remote key with the other. Taeyeon struggles to break free from Yoona’s grasp but fails miserably. To be fair, Yoona could probably carry her with one arm.

While she finds driving slightly stressful, Taeyeon likes being driven around the city. Yoona is humming to a song she does not recognise and Taeyeon finds it strangely calming. Even though Taeyeon envies Tiffany’s personality, she admires Yoona’s attitude. Yoona is easily the most easy-going and laid-back person among the group of crazy neurotics. The members always joke and say that Yoona never needs to worry about anything because she is so distractingly beautiful that she could probably get away with murder.

“Omo, what am I doing?” Yoona exclaims, stopping abruptly before a junction. The car jerks and Taeyeon accidentally curses. Yoona breaks out into laughter, and turns sheepishly to face a very confused Taeyeon.

“You were so quiet that I forgot you were here. I was driving us to my house.” Yoona seems so amused at herself that her light laugher escalates into a deep chortle. Taeyeon lets out a sharp breath of relief and proceeds to nudge Yoona on the head.

“You are the worst kidnapper ever.” Taeyeon fails to contain her own laughter and soon they are both fighting for breath between laughs.

Yoona decides that they should go for karaoke. Because you should celebrate your singing career with more singing and Taeyeon thinks that it is an awful idea but Yoona is feeling so adorably smug about her plan that Taeyeon complies.

After a couple of drinks, Taeyeon agrees that it is the best idea Yoona has ever had. She watches, listens to Yoona sing carelessly, confidently, and thinks it is a terrible injustice that Yoona gets so few lines in songs.

“You sing beautifully,” Taeyeon comments and Yoona blushes, suddenly self-conscious about the fact that she has an audience. Yoona collapses next to her on the couch and Taeyeon almost spills her drink on herself. Taeyeon places her glass carefully on the table, the movement making her realise just how tipsy she is as her head sways forward a bit too much. 

“It means a lot coming from you.” Yoona takes Taeyeon’s hand and holds it with both of hers.

“I was at the company to drop off the extension contract for Girls’ Generation.” Yoona turns to her side to gauge Taeyeon’s expression. The karaoke version of “Complete” starts playing in the background and all Taeyeon can think about is that she really loves that song.

“Our manager oppa called this morning, telling me I was the last one who hadn’t signed it. It’s not that I’m having doubts about the group. I just…” Yoona pauses, struggling to find words. “Three years is too short.”

Taeyeon’s expression is blank, unreadable and it’s mostly because the alcohol is only allowing her one thought a time. Her current one is that Yoona looks so sad it’s making her heart clench painfully.  

The playlist ends and the room falls silent, giving Yoona’s words additional emphasis.

Three years is too short.

The door opens and for some reason it makes the both of them jump and sit up immediately, a bit too stiffly, as if caught in some unspeakable act.

Yuri eyes them suspiciously, trying to put a finger on the odd atmosphere that she just walked into.

“Actually, I don’t want to know,” she decides as she places a box of cake and a bottle of champagne on the table.

 “To our future!” Yuri cheers and pops the champagne.