Thank you for all the love. 

Special thanks to Bumella for all your comments since the first chapter. 

Also, thank you aznphoenix95 for the writing the longest, most thoughtful comments. You're not intimidating in a bad way - You just make me take this more seriously because you're noticing the little things.  

It's a short chapter because I kinda broke my own heart with the last part.  

Chapter 13

“You don’t look happy.”

“I am!”

“Stop being confusing.”

“Stop confusing me then!”

Tiffany’s words spout as swiftly and surely as water overflowing at the brim of a cup and her lack of control terrifies her to the bone. Taeyeon shoves Tiffany’s head jovially and drags her petite suitcase noisily along the corridor. She stops midway and turns to Tiffany with a baffled expression, as if Tiffany’s words had suddenly caught up with her.

Taeyeon scratches the back of her ear and sighs. “I’m sorry I called you reckless. I want you to say whatever you feel like saying and ask whatever you feel like asking.  It’s harder when you don’t.” She shrugs and continues walking towards their old room. She stops at its entrance, looking extremely uncertain and Tiffany thinks that maybe, just maybe, Taeyeon is starting to understand how she feels.

“This is wrong.”

Those weren’t the exact words Tiffany would use to describe the situation. Daunting, scary, absolutely terrifying maybe, but not wrong.

Definitely not wrong.

“There’s not enough pink,” Taeyeon whines like a spoilt child. “I was expecting an explosion of pink, enough to ruin my perception of colour.” She leans against the wall outside the room, with one hand clutching her chest.

“I… can’t… handle… the lack of pink.” Taeyeon says, as though traumatised.

“I’m sorry,” Tiffany mutters apologetically, voice laced with sweetness. She genuinely is sorry, even though she knows Taeyeon was only joking.

“Also, you took my bed. That’s strike two.” Taeyeon raises her hand with two fingers in the air.

“Three strikes and you’re out? Is that why your suitcase is so tiny?” Tiffany had been dying to ask.

“Is that why you didn’t look super ecstatic when I arrived?” Taeyeon had questions of her own. Tiffany wonders how many questions they have buried in this short amount of time. 

She nods, agreeing to one part of the truth.

“I’ve been living in that apartment for two years, Tiffany. It’s home now. But I’ll be here as long as you’re here, so don’t worry.” Taeyeon carries her tiny suitcase into the room (with one hand) to prove her point, which isn’t as strong as she thinks.    

“Does this mean that I mean more to you than home does?” Tiffany asks childishly, skipping behind Taeyeon. She’s feeling more optimistic now, having caught a silver lining.

Taeyeon rolls her eyes and dives onto the bed. She lifts her hand, showing the edge of her thumb and forefinger separated about a centimetre apart.

“A little bit. Just a little.”

Taeyeon’s words were muffled by the bed, but it echoed in Tiffany’s heart.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“…so she finishes her drink, goes to the sink, and washes her cup. Just her cup. She completely ignored the dishes that were there since last night! Steph, you asked the wrong person to move in.” Jessica has both of her hands on her head, seemingly unable to fathom the horror she had witnessed this morning.

“To be fair, they were all your dishes.” Tiffany chuckles lightly as she grudgingly flips another page of the Korean novel that Sooyoung lent her. She had not been reading in Korean for a long time and it’s taking her a ridiculous amount of hours to finish this book.

“Still, I gave her three days and the state of the dorm remained the same. I am appalled, Steph. Appalled.” Jessica emphasized passionately.

“I can’t believe you actually invited Juhyun here. And Sunny!”

She should not complain. Tiffany walked into the dorm this evening and there was no need to step over stray documents to get to her room, or move heaps of clothes to one side when she wanted to sit down. The dorm was neat and order was restored.

‘I didn’t ask them to do anything, you know. I just went out to get them bubble tea so…”

“You were gone for more than an hour,” Tiffany casually comments while flipping another page.

“I got distracted by work!” Jessica shrieks defensively. “Anyway, they did a great job. Except now I can’t seem to find copies of the designs I need to approve.”

“Yoona’s old desk. Bottom drawer.” Taeyeon shouts from their room and Jessica instantly covers in shock. She hits Tiffany on the arm vehemently, looking betrayed.

“You didn’t ask,” Tiffany replies to her violence nonchalantly, trying hard to hide her amusement. Jessica’s antics were significantly more interesting than her novel. “Also, Taeyeon helped. More specifically, she did the dishes.” She looks up from her book to fully appreciate Jessica’s reaction.  

Taeyeon hops out of their room while pulling a sock up to her left ankle. Her hair is still damp and she has her phone between her teeth. She grabs her handbag from the couch and darts towards the door.

“I filed them for you. You’re welcome.” Taeyeon yells as she rushes past them.

“You’re an angel!” Jessica manages to shout before the door slams. “And you, Stephanie Hwang,” she points to Tiffany accusingly. “You’re the devil.”

Tiffany thinks that somehow, this trio works.  

__________________________________________________________________________________

On some days, amidst the busyness, there are quiet moments that don’t seem real.

Tiffany had waited up for Taeyeon every night since she had moved in, in the darkness, mind often racing. She lies on Taeyeon’s bed (her old bed) while she waits, just in case she falls asleep so that Taeyeon would have to wake her up. She’s drunk off sleep-deprivation, not able to remember the last time she’s felt fully awake.

“Why do you keep doing this?” Taeyeon asked last night, while she laid next to her, so close that their shoulders, arms, and hands were in dizzying contact. She wanted to hold Taeyeon’s hand, but instead she waited for Taeyeon to take hers and it did not happen.

“I just feel like it.” Tiffany replied and it sounded like a half-truth, but it was the best Tiffany could come up with. “Are you going to ask me to stop?”

“No, it’s nice.” Taeyeon said and Tiffany imagined her smiling in the dark.

But morning came and over breakfast, Tiffany was told to stop.

“It’s silly.” Taeyeon reprimanded and Tiffany agreed.

Tiffany wakes up when she feels the sudden warmth of a duvet enveloping her. She blinks away the weariness and catches a silhouette walking away from her. It felt like some kind of recurring nightmare.

“Hey.” Her voice is coarse and she brings a hand to to rub the roughness away.

“You can sleep in my bed from now on. I don’t mind.”

“You’re missing the point.”

“What point?”

Tiffany can’t think of an answer. There’s a knot in her chest and all Taeyeon does is tug at the end of the rope with her words and her questions and her presence. She can’t explain it, hence she doubts Taeyeon will understand it. What is it, anyway?

“There is no point,” she finally replies, defeated by her own lack of articulation.

She hears hesitant footsteps walking towards her and then away, louder then softer, nearer then further, and finally - silence.

“Don’t let me be a bad influence in your life, Tiffany, especially when you were the best influence in my life for a decade. We’re okay.”

“We’re okay.” Taeyeon repeats to herself.

“Do you hate me for leaving?” Tiffany asks, thinking that maybe the only way to rid the knot in her chest is to rip her heart out completely.

“Of course not. I was sad, which was inevitable. But I can never hate you. No matter what you do to me, I will never hate you. Sometimes I think of all the things you can possibly get away with and it scares me.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Why?”

“Because I now hate myself enough for the two of us.”