Sorry for the wait. I had too many scenes and I wanted to wrap them up neatly instead of expanding on them so quite a lot got cut.  

If not this will never end :O 

I'll reply to your comments later. Much love!

(ps: I just remembered that California isn't that hot in January but let's just pretend it is a record high. Damn.) 

Chapter 17

January 8, 2015

(2 months after Tiffany left)

She drops her files to the ground, frustrated, and bends down to adjust the strap of her heels that have come undone for the umpteenth time. She had been walking aimlessly for almost an hour, wearing shoes terribly unsuited for uneven pavement.  The thin stack of files acted as both a shade from the scorching sun and occasionally, an inferior fan.

She removes her blazer, the shirt below soaked with sweat. She mentally curses the Californian weather, her scowl making her seem even more out of place.

Well, I tried.  She shrugs and tries to remember where she parked the car she rented. The music hurts her ears and interrupts her thoughts while the confusing layout of the carnival makes her lose whatever minimal sense of direction she had.

Jessica Jung was about to give up when she caught a glimpse of a familiar object at the corner of her eye. She would recognise her favourite pair of pink Ray Ban sunglasses anywhere, even more easily when it’s on her best friend Tiffany.

“Why are you here?” Tiffany asks coldly when Jessica takes a seat next to her on the bench facing a rollercoaster, the screams of the passengers increasing in volume one moment and fading the next.

“I want my sunglasses back.” Jessica replies just as frigidly, not feeling particularly chirpy. “Why are you here?” Jessica had spoken to Tiffany’s sister this morning after her meeting and was given directions to this godforsaken place. Apparently, this was where Tiffany spent most of her days since she moved back to LA.

Tiffany removes her sunglasses and offers them to Jessica, eyes still fixated at a certain point ahead. Her eyes are dark and vacant, devoid of any spark – a burnt out candle unafraid of wind. They reminded Jessica of Taeyeon’s (whom she had visited just three days ago), and it worried her immensely.

“I’m waiting,” Tiffany places the sunglasses in the space between them, after holding them in the air for seconds.

“For what?”

Tiffany frowns and Jessica suspects that perhaps Tiffany does not know the answer too.

“Someone told me that I have given away too many pieces of my heart. What do you think that means?” Tiffany asks, abandoning her reply. “Do you think it’s a reason not to love me back?” she adds, sounding more vulnerable than before.

One of these days, these cryptic questions are going to drive Jessica insane. They often come up out of the blue, without context, laden with the expectation of a deep and contemplative answer – one Jessica can never carry.

“Tiffany, there isn’t…”

“Stephanie.”

“Huh?”

“Tiffany is…was my stage name. I’m just Stephanie now.” She blinks a few times, as if she had been suddenly yanked out of a daze, and stares at her hands instead. Jessica notices that she had been biting her nails, a nervous habit that had resurfaced after a long time.

“Just Stephanie,” she whispers to herself, letting her words weigh her down.

“Well Steph, you’re going to drive yourself crazy like this.” Jessica sighs, feeling helpless. “You have too much pent up energy and it’s circling in the wrong areas. You need to direct it towards something constructive. Come work for me.”

Just like that, a fleeting thought became a decision.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 Present

“I feel like you’re testing me.”

“How so?”

“One day you’ll kiss me back and then I’ll know I have passed.”

The corners of Taeyeon’s lips rose, her eyes growing soft as she looked into Tiffany’s. She leans forward and gives Tiffany a light peck on the cheek. “You’ve passed.”

“You know what I mean.” Tiffany breathes, her heart feeling like a deflated balloon.

“I do. Since when did being best friends stopped being enough?” Taeyeon asks nonchalantly, while coating Tiffany’s nails with another layer of glitter varnish. Tiffany had started to bite her nails lately and Taeyeon cleverly concluded that having elaborate nail art would act as a hindrance.

It was odd hearing Taeyeon address Tiffany’s unrequited affections so casually (so soon), but at that moment, Tiffany truly felt like they were best friends again, the drama of the past two years tucked safely in the corners of their minds. It was nice.

“It is enough…”

…but…but… but…

Tiffany felt like a ball of contradictions. Perhaps Taeyeon thinks that she could reason Tiffany out of love.

“Do you know what freefalling is?” She decides to borrow Jessica’s words.

“As a metaphor or do you want the physics definition? Is this a test?” Taeyeon exhales rapidly and pauses, as if her laughter somehow got stuck in . She steadies her hand and continues placing tiny decorative flakes on Tiffany’s nails.

“It means falling under the effects of gravity. You just end up falling faster and faster because of the gravitational acceleration and then splat! You’re dead.” Tiffany starts gesturing with her hands and Taeyeon pulls one back into place with a grunt.

“You’ve been quite obsessed with death lately. Should I be worried?” Taeyeon chuckles to herself while gently shaking her head. Taeyeon has been doing that a lot lately. Tiffany is torn between basking in the fact that Taeyeon is finding her more amusing than ever, or hitting Taeyeon hard on the head for not taking her seriously.

“Definitely. You’re painting my nails but all I’m noticing is the sensation of my hand on yours and I can’t even think straight. And now you’re pouting and all I want to do is kiss you silly. You’re like gravity. Once you’ve pulled me in, all I do is fall faster and faster and then… ”

“Splat?”

“Splat. It’s an awful way to die.” Tiffany nods gravely and this elicits another laughter.

“Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.” Taeyeon manages to utter between breaths. “If not, I’ll have to scrape a splattered Tiffany off the ground. That would be unpleasant.”

You’re not catching me!  Tiffany wanted to shout, or kick the bottles of nail polish lying next to her feet – anything to express her absolute frustration.

But then Taeyeon would probably laugh at that too.

__________________________________________________________________________________

“Choose another room?”

Tiffany has her feet planted firmly on the ground with her arms outstretched, maintaining a distance between Sunny and her and Taeyeon’s room, even though it was technically Sunny’s old room too. Sunny showed up unannounced a few minutes ago, a duffle bag in hand, saying that she was moving back into the dorm. Tiffany was ecstatic, clapping like a seal and squeezing the air out of Sunny with her hugs.

“Why? It’ll just be like old times with you, me, and Taengoo!” Sunny cheers enthusiastically and Tiffany almost gives in. It would be wonderful having Sunny around.

“Jessica’s lonely. She needs company.” Tiffany lies and looks to an unimpressed Jessica for support. It was a weak lie (Jessica hates sharing rooms), but it was the first thing Tiffany came up with. “She’s too cool to admit it,” Tiffany adds as Jessica rolls her eyes behind Sunny’s back. Jessica was already heading out for her meeting, but she places her hands on Sunny’s shoulders and begrudgingly directs Sunny towards her room.

“Oh so lonely...” Jessica laments and Tiffany silently prays that Sunny does not notice the sarcasm laced in her voice. Sunny spins around to squint at Tiffany apprehensively while threading backwards into Jessica’s room, her eyes screaming “I know”, which induces a momentary panic attack. Tiffany shakes off the feeling, dismissing it as quickly as it came.

“Why is Sunny sharing a room with Jessica? Jessica loves having a room to herself.” A freshly showered Taeyeon appears, drying her damp hair with a towel, causing Tiffany to lose her focus momentarily. Taeyeon doesn’t seem surprised that Sunny has moved in, but shows no other inclinations that she had any role to play in this decision.

“I’m lonely. Also, late. So don’t be difficult.” Jessica takes the duffle bag from Sunny, tosses it on the free bed, and hurries towards the door, slapping Tiffany on the arm and mouthing “You owe me” on the way out.

The remaining three are left in the room with a hanging air of suspicion, eyes darting between one other, as if each of them were hiding secrets of their own.

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