The next day, I woke up at 4 a.m. I decided to write in my diary because everyone in the house was still sleeping.

*Diary Entry

Dear Diary,

It’s been a long time since I last wrote huh. Well it’s because there so much things in my mind. You know, I’m always daydreaming and spacing out. My friends told me that I’m always quiet and that I’m always gloomy. Look at me! Why does this effects me so much?

‘ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ I screamed in my head I’m so frustrated in myself. I lay back on my pillow. Tears started to fall but the more I wipe away the tears, the more they fall. I took the blanket and covered my whole body so that I can fall back to sleep. But my eyes weren’t listening to me, and I just couldn’t sleep so I stood up and walked towards my window, sitting on the chair near it. I hugged my legs and just looked at the dark sky and tears started to fall “Why?” I asked “Why are you like this?” I sobbed “Why am I still like this? Why are you hurting me?” My eyesight was starting to get blurry “Why can’t let all those memories of the past go? Why? WHY?!” I started yelling but luckily no one woke up.

I just stayed in that position until the sun showed itself in the sky, I woke up and went to the bathroom I took a very cold shower because cold water sooths my emotions or if I was stressed out. I wore a black outfit again. “Haejung, why do you always have to wear black almost every day?” my father asked when I went to the dining table “Why? Is anything wrong?” I asked back “No, it’s just that it’s not good for a girl like you to always wear black” my day said while I just kept quiet and just ate my breakfast. After breakfast, my dad decided to go to the driving range so my whole family had to follow except me. I didn’t like to play golf because I liked to stay in the house these days.

I was alone for the whole day today and I didn’t and I didn’t plan to go anywhere so I just surfed the internet to find anything interesting but I turned off my laptop after a while and decided to watch television but  my mind was elsewhere. “Well! This is boring” I said to myself I looked at the calendar and looked at the date today. It was Thursday, “My cousins should be at grandma’s” I said and went to the door “I’m going to Grandma’s house” I shouted so that the maids could hear me. I walked to my grandma’s house; it was about 10 minutes from my house if we walked. “Hello” I greeted my neighbour “Where are you going?” she asked me, she was close to my parents so I didn’t mind if she asked “Ouh, I’m going to visit my grandma” I said and said goodbye. ‘How nice if we haven’t moved?”I sighed because if we had not moved I could get there in two minutes.

“Grandma! Grandpa!” I said loudly because my grandparents were usually at the back.  “Yes” I heard my grandma’s voice. When the door opened, there stood an old woman with white hair “Grandma!” I immediately hugged her and she kissed my cheeks. I went inside to be greeted by my cousins Jaehwa, Sangmin and Sanghee. “Jaehwa, where’s your little sister?” I asked her because her little sister is still a baby, 4 months “She’s sleeping” she pointed to the crib. I looked in and saw a little baby girl sleeping inside. Suddenly I felt something heavy on my back. I looked back and saw Sanghee on my back and her hands around my neck. “No, I can’t breathe “I said while trying to sit down, I pulled her in front of me “Don’t.....ever do that again” I said but they just giggled “Kids” I sighed. “Haejung! Come help me cook lunch” my grandmother called from the kitchen.

“Just stay here okay” I told them and went to the kitchen “Where’s the others?” I heard my grandpa said “Golfing” I said and began to cut the onions and other things. “Haejung, why don’t you look after your cousins?” my grandma asked “Okay” I said and found my cousins in front of the television watching ‘Pororo’ I sat beside them and took out the book I brought along with me. After a while I felt a thud on my sleeve and saw that they were pointing at the crib “Soojin-ah! You’re awake?” I said and she just smiled. I took her out of the crib and put her on the mattress, there she started to play with herself and giggle, “She’s watching the show I guess” I said and turn my attention to the book.

“UWAHHH” Soojin was crying “Are you hungry?” well she just woke up so she would be hungry. I took a bottle of milk in the fridge and heated it. I hold her and started to feed her and I was right, she was hungry. “Haejung, let your grandpa do that, go eat with the other.” I obeyed and sat at the dining table. We ate so happily “Wow! It’s been so long since I ate here yet it’s still so delicious” I said and continued eating. After we were done eating, it was nap time for the little ones. When they all went to sleep, it was just me and Soojin in front of the television, I played with her “peek-a-boo” I said while she just smiled widely “Let’s go at the front” I picked her up carefully and walked towards the living room.“Let’s go to the playground in the evening” I said to myself, Soojin was playing with the mirror in front of us, tapping it with her little hands.

*In the evening

“WAH!!!! Let’s go to the playground.” They shouted. “Okay, okay. Let’s go” I said while holding their hands while my grandparents were holding Soojin. While walking they were telling me what happened while I wasn’t there. Their high-pitched voices were making me go deaf. “Okay, Were here!” I said and “I’m gonna catch you” I said and they started to run “Hahahaha” they laughed while running “Got ya!” I said as I hugged Sanghee. We played until it was almost dusk, so my grandpa offered to drive me home “Goodbye ,grandpa! See you soon!”I said as I waved him goodbye. “How I wish I can be like them” I said to myself.