You were lying in bed putting finishing touches to the emblems when your phone buzzed.

Phone: Mark

Hello?

Hey, what’s up?

Hey Mark. Just finishing up the designs.

I thought JYP passed the designs already in the last meeting.

Oh yeah he did but I’m just perfecting it before the outfits are made. I need to hand them to Jina in the next couple of days.

You heard him chuckle through the phone.

What??? There’s nothing wrong with perfecting everything. They’re your outfits after all. You snapped.

No..Nothing. He said in between his giggles. So how’s my little patient?

Patient? You scoffed. Pleaseee, you are no doctor.

He cleared his throat. Ahem. Excuse me!? I am a certified doctor from the University of Tuan.

You bursted out with laughter. Well, I’m very sorry Dr. Mark.

On a serious note, how are you doing?

You stopped laughing as a your stomach clenched itself into a ball ready to go away and hide.

Miya?

Hm? Oh right… You rolled onto your back and stared at the ceiling. I don’t know…

Still getting those nightmares?

Mhmm..

What happened?

You sighed. I was in this pitch black room and my hands and legs were tied together. The room kept getting smaller and smaller, pressuring me into a corner. As the room was drawing in on me, I felt as if a rope was strangling my neck. I couldn’t breathe at all. I didn’t know what to do. Until I persuaded myself that it was a dream and forced myself to wake up.

Mark was silent for a short moment.

Sh*t that’s intense.

Ha yeah..

What happens if you don’t force yourself to wake up?

I don’t know. I’ve never tried. It’s too scary to imagine what might happen next.

Ahh..

Is that all you got to say, know it all Dr. Mark? You teased.

He cleared his throat. I’ll get back to you on that.

I’ll be waiting then. How’s practice?

Oh you know.. tiring. Recording one day then dance practice the next.

It must be hard. Don’t you ever feel like giving up?

I guess, sometimes. But at the end of the day I really enjoy it and I can’t let GOT& down. They’re like my family now. Isn’t it hard for you?

Me? How?

I don’t know.. Like you have to think of these designs from scratch. You can’t plagiarise and you always need to keep up with the latest trend. And when you’re working for other people, there’s that pressure to do what they want but also what you want, isn’t there?

You seem to be very knowledgable of my profession. You joked. Maybe there is. But I haven’t collaborated with many people yet.

What did you do before?

After I graduated, I entered a lot of competitions just trying to get my name out there. I’d have to admit it was quite stressful.

So why didn’t you give up?

Your throat felt dry all of a sudden.

That.. that day when I walked out of the hospital, I promised myself I would focus on my career and never let anything of the past, present, future hurt me in anyway.

That’s a big promise to keep.

Yeah… You sighed. I’m not doing a very good job am I?

As long as you’re trying your best, that’s all that matters.

Maybe.. I don’t want to try my best anymore. Sometimes I just want to.. want to let everything go. Let fate decide the way. Maybe one day I won’t try to reach for that hand and just let myself free fall.

Um.. Not sure if that’s the best idea

Mark, I’m tired. I’m tired of acting like I don’t care.

Is this about Jackson?

You stayed silent, unable to say anymore.

Jackson has briefly mentioned what has happened between the two. I think you need to talk to him.

I can’t do that..

Because..?

Because I just can’t. It’s too complicated. What happened 3 years go, what’s happening now.. I can’t…

But if you give it a try, all misunderstandings will be cleared. He insisted.

Mark stop. I’m not ready to talk to Jackson yet.

Then you hung up.

You let the phone drop from your hand as you closed your eyes. Tears gathered at the rim of your eyes. You rolled onto your side and curled up into a ball. Tears slid following the contours of your face before dropping onto the pillow.

A/N: Another short chapter.. Next one will be longer I promise ~ Please comment and thank you sooo much for supporting this ff ^.^ Have a wonderful weeeek (✿◠‿◠)