calling Chesquared
☺♫ Saranghae Review Shop ♫☺ [CLOSED-DO NOT REQUEST]When You Give An Alien A Cookie
Title(4/5)
Your title is absolutely amazing and cute! I was astonished by it, it sounds like there's something behind it and gave me an urge to read it right away especially because of the word 'Alien'. I never thought Ljoe would be an alien here, really, and when I first imagined him as an alien, he looks green or more like E.T. I'm just kidding, the title is really amazing. It caught my attention, and since the title connects to the first meeting of Ljoe and the girl.
Poster & Background & Trailer(7/10)
Your poster is fine, it's not that bad. But I guess, it could have been better if you used Free Select Tool to avoid the white thing at the picture of Ljoe's edges. It was descent and simple. The background is amazing, I just love the stars showing in night time. It connects perfectly for the story.
Description & Foreword(10/10)
I am giving you perfect score here because I was attracted with your simple description. It's very simple but really interesting, but by reading it, maybe readers thought at first that the 'you' in the story would look like a real alien when it's just Ljoe in a human form. I still think it's really cute.
The foreword... Well, I can’t say much except that, I fell in love with it. The summary and the intro, both are amazing. I've got to say you're English and Vocabulary is better than mine. Maybe the punctuations, you can find it in the foreword, there's like one or two when it could have been a comma not a period. But over-all, I am in love with your foreword. It was so weird, in a good way and I don't know how to say this... It makes me feel 'warm' or like 'refreshed' when I read it. Yes, it's like a quiet story, yet it's interesting and makes me feel relaxed.
Plot(9/10)
Honestly, your story really intrigues me. It was exciting and I couldn't stop pondering what's going to happen next. I love the plot, the alien of Planet TOP, the break-up with Minsoo and so on. I just love it, especially because it's fantasy and supernatural. Now, it's about an alien who looks like a human. I am like 'Wow' I love aliens, but aliens that looks like human? I think it's interesting too (honestly, green aliens would look disgusting) So I really liked yours! There is lot creativity that you added everywhere.
Originality(8/10)
I think you have a weird imagination, that's a good thing. Weird ; for making Ljoe an alien but human form and weird about the cookie thing. I simply like it, you had creativity that made your story really exciting, funny and interesting. The 'alien' thing falling in love with a human, I know, there are some of those things out there to read but yours is just too good and sounds much better and thrilling.
Flow(5/5)
It didn't lack anything, neither rush or slow. It was fine, the intro up to the last (chapter 3). Maybe the kiss was a little too fast, but that won’t affect your score here, because the first kiss in the first chapter, I know it's part of your creativity.
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(25/30)
It's not perfect, but it was great. There was a few (as in little) wrong grammar and punctuations. I think you had a fine vocabulary too.
You should change this : You are to never say you are an Alien to another human. to -> You are not allowed to tell/reveal to any other human that you are an Alien. (or something like that) . Also, the capitalizations, check them out often.
There was still a few, but I forgot to write them all down while I was reading your FF when I was at school. Just proofread more often, and use the right tenses to make it look better. Over-all, you are a good author with such cute writing style.
Writing Style(9/10)
Great. But I wonder why the first chapter had a different font than the others? Never mind, but it would look better if they have the same font and also size.
Overall Enjoyment(8/10)
I enjoyed this. It's exciting, cute, funny and a little bit heartbreaking in Chae Ri's side. Chae Ri, I don't like it that she likes Minsoo after all that. But well, I still enjoyed it. Ljoe here sounds really cute, and the Ajhumma... Wow, she's so funny! I laughed when I read the scene of her, it looked so funny and cute in my mind.
I just love it okay? Ljoe looks dumbfounded here and really cute, he's not a badass here and plus he is an Alien here. That's great work for making Ljoe an alien. It's really exciting. In chapter 3, everything is about to begin, like more interesting parts coming up next the next chapter... So, I'm really hooked. It's so short but a great story from the very beginning.
Total - 85/100
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reviewed by: sususco123
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