ESHAmax - Falling For The Most Coldhearted Guy
☺♫ Saranghae Review Shop ♫☺ [CLOSED-DO NOT REQUEST]Falling For The Most Coldhearted Guy
a. Title (4/5) -Not too common, not cliché too. But I give it a 4 since its not very eye-catching title. I mean, I was not very attracted. That's just me.
b. Poster & Background & Trailer (9/10) -Cute poster! Just that the pics you used for the OC and Changmin doesn't match, I mean their skin tones. But over-all, cute poster for the genre of your story!
c. Description & Foreword (7/10)-The problem I found in your description is the wrong grammars, but I'll tell you what it is later. As for the foreword, where you put the character's description, it's good that you typed it that way, placing heart symbols made it cuter. ha-ha. It's also easy for us readers to read it with your writing style.
d. Plot (7/10) -Not very original plot, but I like it. I don't really have much to say since I was not very attracted to your story. Sometimes it's boring, sometimes too fast and sometimes too slow. Ha-ha.
e. Originality (6/10) -Like I said in letter d (plot), it's not very original. I've read fics that have common plots like yours. But you did add a bit of creativity in the story, like living together with the coldhearted guy, Changmin. I think it's cute! But why does Yoona have to fall in love earlier than expected? LOL. I still like your story though. It's just not very original
f. Flow (3/5) -I wasn't really enjoying much with the flow of your story. The fact that Yoona fell in love with Changmin that fast is just too early. Ha-ha. It would have been better if she fell in love a little later, that she should have hate Changmin more. Just my opinion.
g. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (27/40) -I don't know why but I didn't see a lot of wrong grammars and etc. Ha-ha. But let's go first to your description or your story summary.
Yoona is a new student and she get to know with her new friend, Seohyun. She also getting closer with the most popular boy group,DBSK in her new school.. Changmin is the most rich,genius and coldhearted guy among of his friends and no girls can win his heart~Yoona likes Changmin but he's not. Yunho always be by her side no matter when she felt happy or sad .. But then, Yoona has to live in the same house with Changmin and everything happenened.. Can Changmin remain with his title as'COLDHEARTED GUY' without confess anything to Yoona ? And will Yoona give up with Changmin's behaviour ??(Yoona is a new student in school and when she met SeoHyun, they became fast friends. She's also getting closer with the most popular boy band in her school, DBSK. Changmin is the richest, genius and the most coldhearted guy among his friends in DBSK and no girls won his heart. Yoona likes Changmin but he doesn't have the same feelings for her. Yunho is always by her side every time she's happy or sad ... Then one day, Yoona has to live in the same house with Changmin and everything happened. Can Changmin remain with his title as 'COLDHEARTED GUY' without confessing anything to Yoona? and will Yoona give up Changmin's behavior?)
Also check your use of past tense and present tense. I found your wrong use of it. Like : “Haizzzzz, this girl…” Changmin gots up and opened the door. (Changmin gets up and opened the door.) There's no such thing as gots up okay?
I also found other wrong grammars, punctuations and misspellings, but I'm not going to type them all of course. Just want to let you know that there's not really a lot of mistakes, everything is well organized, the words. So keep it up!
h. Writing Style (7/10) -I like your writing style. The only thing that I didn't like much is the different POV's. Ha-ha. I know I know, I think I . But that's just me. Still, your writing style is neat and easy to read!
Total = 70/100 %
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