calling b2stlyoseob125
☺♫ Saranghae Review Shop ♫☺ [CLOSED-DO NOT REQUEST]
LIVING IN ONE ROOF WITH A TOTAL STRANGER THAT USED TO BE MY BESTFRIEND?!!!
Title (3/5)
Although it stands out, the title doesn’t leave anything out. I understand what the story will be about really quickly and that makes me unexcited.
Poster/Trailer/Background (0/10)
I don’t understand what that poster has to do with anything.
Description/Foreword (6/10)
It’s something alright. It certainly got my attention, and not really in a good way. You are just repeating what your title said, only in more “stream of consciousness” mode. Although this is alright, the foreword and description seems really redundant.
Plot: (8/10)
Although the plot was interesting and all, I found that it was sometimes ridiculously strange. It kind of jumps to another subplot really quickly. First it’s about Sungyeol then it changes really quickly to the first day of school. It’s just all over the place.
Originality (10/10)
I give you ten because you turned a cliché plot into a totally new thing! I never read a story where the main character isn’t the one who changes genders in the genre. Good job!
Flow (4/5)
The flow seems a little too quick, in my opinion; especially in the first few chapters. Just slow it down and savor each scene!
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (20/30)
Today, both mine and Sunha’s parents called for us.
Today, me and Sunha’s parents called us.
I shoved him away, I remembered that he helped me unpack just a while ago.
I shoved him away; I remembered that he helped me unpack just a while ago.
Watch out for punctuation mistakes. You don’t put two sentences together with a comma. You use a semicolon.
Also watch out for tense issues. You are using past tense but you use your thoughts with present tense. Try separating those two so that it is less confusing.
Wait,no, it was Hoya who was sprinting at full speed toward us and hid under out table.
Hoya, who was sprinting at full speed toward us, hid under out table
We were sent to the place of the audition.
We were sent to where the audition was taking place.
I was groaning in pain, my legs were shaking and my head was aching.
I was groaning in pain (semicolon or a period). My legs were…
Not bad. Good job!
Writing Style (9/10)
Very impressed! I really enjoyed your writing style. It wasn’t boring and it was very easy to understand! Although your grammar mistakes detract and make it difficult for me to understand what you mean, I can understand without much difficultly.
Overall Enjoyment (7/10)
I really liked your plot!! You changed a cliché plot into something totally different. One thing I did not like about your story was the sudden personality changes. In the first chapter, the “girl” who is technically a guy, is all shy. But suddenly, the “girl” turns into a cool and savvy guy! I understand that since a gender change occurred, some personality changes would be normal. But that was a little too much! It seemed like an entirely different person!
Total Score: 67/100% | 67/90% without poster part
Reviewer: susanyuenkim
Reviewer's note: I’m so sorry for taking so long!!!! I do hope you do well!
we're NOT taking any request! The shop is busy so if you guys can refrain from requesting anymore reviews!!!
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