calling jungkrystal
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Title (1/5)
The title— I don’t see how it reflects off of your story. It just sounds like a title you would put for a chapter. Plus, it’s too common because this is the second story I’ve read (and reviewed) with the same title.
Poster & Background & Trailer (10/10)
The poster is really nice—plain and simple but I love how the texture looks. The pictures are HQ which is greatly appreciated!
Description & Foreword (1/10)
The description should not contain your character’s information. I don’t want to know about your characters before you even write the story because, you just gave away information that could have been written into the story itself. Your description needs to contain a short summary of your story— not a character’s information.
The foreword— one simple, random quote; I’m not impressed because it isn’t relevant to your story. Either you write a small excerpt, prologue or a quote that is actually relevant to your story.
Plot (2/10)
The plot— I don’t even know if I can say what the plot is because I don’t understand where you’re going with this story. The only thing I can get out of it is that Seol falls in love with TOP.
Originality (1/10)
Not much of an original— I’ve actually read one that had the same concept.
Flow (5/5)
The flow was accurate— nothing too fast or too slow.
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (10/30)
Your grammar has a lot of verb, past and presents tense confusion. I would highly suggest you ask someone to edit your chapters for you before you post them up. The vocabulary and spelling were fine. The punctuation— there really is no need for you to put “……….” just because the said person speaking is quiet. You can write it out!
Writing Style (3/10)
I am not a fan of your writing style— but I will have to admit that it does look something like mine when I began writing fanfics. I guess it takes time for someone to fully improve on their writing style but I think you could do better. What I suggest is write more paragraphs rather than 2-3 sentences of a person doing something— pretty much, describe what they’re doing in that one paragraph, what they see and what they feel.
Also, if you’re going to have Seol think, please put it on italics. Not a different color, do not even think about highlighting their thoughts— put her thoughts in italics! If not, then I really suggest you just write this story in Seol’s point of view because from the chapters that I just read, it would sound better if it was her point of view. You had a couple of “I” written in the chapters so, you should think about changing it unless you can somehow make your point of view work.
Overall Enjoyment (4/10)
My overall enjoyment on this fanfic… I do feel a bit of anticipation for the next chapter/update. Simply because I want to see what Seunghyun and Seol are going to do next and how their love will blossom. I just think if you work on what I said in the grammar and writing style section, then this fanfic might take you somewhere— if not, good luck.
Total – 37/100
reviewer: vangbby
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