My Bodyguard Boyfriend

Title (4/5)

The title was pretty cute and catchy. It is a typical title I've seen everywhere used as story title, but I still liked how cute it sounded. Cute titles never failed to impress me (ex. My Lucky Star, My Best friend's Boyfriend; as long as there's a "my", it's cute! No offense!); especially because I instantly saw Kwangmin's name on the story link you provided.

It is also excellent for your one-shot since the title is about Seorin who is the 'My' of the title and Kwangmin is the 'bodyguard boyfriend' Well, it's a perfect combination. Other than that, I like it because it's romantic. I could imagine a happy OST playing on my mind.

Poster/Trailer/Background (9/10)

I would have preferred other OC girl who looks rich and dresses fancy; Kwangmin in a dark or white tuxedo that would make him look like a real bodyguard. But I have to admit, that's an awesome and adorable poster you have there! You're lucky to find a graphic designer who makes animated posters. Animated posters are cuter than normal posters, I say. This one is really magnificent yet simply plain!

Love it!

Description/Foreword (6/10)

The description is more like a foreword. It's like the prologue. So, about the description you wrote, it was good. The bad thing is, the grammar mistakes (that includes punctuation and spelling). I'll show you one. 

Kwangmin: That's because I'm you boyfriend.

That is a common mistake most writers get. They forget to complete the word, which means that you didn't proof-read it.

That should be: That's because I'm your boyfriend.

Another line that made me confuse is this: "Seriously, what is that 'thing' even is about thinking? It’s not like we're still kids!"

I read it carefully, and it just doesn't make sense for me. If she's talking about 'Kwangmin' as the 'thing', then the sentence shouldn't be like that (even if it's not Kwangmin) Hmm, I'll try to change the sentence and make it have more sense.

"Seriously, what is that thing thinking about? It's not like we're still kids!" or, to make it sound coherent, should be: "Seriously, what is he even thinking about? It's not like we're still kids!"

Every single mistake is a slight disappointment to readers, remember that. 

Anyway, I still prefer the description to be a description (synopsis) and the foreword to be the prologue. But yours was okay. The supposed-to-be prologue was cheesy and sweet. I sure wished Kwangmin wasn't that strong so he would get hit by the lamp and then a cheesier scene happens. Haha.

Plot (9/10)

This is cool! I definitely love this! It sounds to me like a classic story but then it was fun to read with all the sweet things and short kidnapping moment and hero time. A fun read. Kwangmin sounds almost perfect here. He's intimidating. How I wish he's not that perfect in this story, I was half proud and discouraged about that fact. Seo Rin, on the other hand, is really cute and stubborn. She's a fun person; I love brat girls in stories. They are always fun to read. Nonetheless, the kidnapping part (little action/fighting scene) happened too fast for me. The old woman was defeated by Kwangmin in a flash. That shouldn’t be the end of her too. There could have been a second attack from the woman with her new men. It would be more fun if there was more drama!

Originality (7/10)

Though I like the plot of your one-shot, I've got to admit it wasn't very unique. I've read stories like this. Bodyguards and master dating or in love with each other. The kidnapping scene wasn't very unique too and not that creative. The dream and the birthday scene were good. I am not saying it is exclusive, but at least you added a little cleverness in.

Flow (5/5)

Good!

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (23/30)

It was good! There were a few mistakes here and there but they can still be fixed by proof-reading and looking for an editor. 

Writing Style (7/10)

Good! Although, I would have preferred a point of view of Seorin. I like the style most when you wrote the scene wherein Kwangmin carried Seorin even though he's tired. Seo Rin started saying something on her mind and recalling some past experiences when she was still a kid along with Kwangmin. She was talking about how warm Kwangmin was, and I was like 'wow, I agree with you!' I know Kwangmin never carried me but that certain scene was so good it made me feel the warmth she was talking about as I was reading and listening to a song.

Overall Enjoyment (10/10)

It's been a long time since I read a Kwangmin fic. I idolize him again after reading this one-shot. It was not that long, but I had fun reading it. It was so sweet. Yep, it's also been a very very long time since I last read a sweet and cute story like yours.

Total Score: 80/100%

reviewed by: sususco123