calling limedynamo
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Title (3/5)
Title looked plain and effortless but it still fits for your story. It just didn't capture my attention except when I realized the story talks about DBSK's separation.
Poster & Background & Trailer (4/10)
I see you just used a simple photo of them. But I don't expect a pure poster as well because it's just four-shot and authors doesn't usually put up posters for short stories. For the background, it is really blurry and low quality. Try changing the background because your current background is definitely an obstruction.
Description & Foreword (5/10)
I expected too much with your story because of your amusing description. It was really good. I thought there would be an ending like how I imagined it would be, but it ended up with a cliffhanger. As for the foreword, there was nothing interesting about it.
Plot (6/10)
I bet Cassiopeia's imaginations had this too or maybe they made some ff for TVXQ/DBSK. But I haven't read something similar about yours with DBSK having plans beforehand about the separation. Also, it was kind of confusing in some parts. It could have been better if you let us know why Junsu tweeted that thing, even if you make up something impossible.
Originality (4/10)
I believe other people have similar plot like yours, but with a different feeling and yours with something different too. Still, I'll have to say that the happenings in your story were likely to happen except when Yunho and Changmin went to JYJ's concert and Junsu actually saw them cry so he cried.
Flow (4/5)
I thought it was imperceptible and then fast, but maybe it's just because it's only a four-shot. It was still nice to read though, but it could have been shorter or compiled in lesser chapter since each chapter seems brief.
Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary(17/30)
It was good, but then I saw a punctuation error wherein you put a quotation mark on something when you need not to. You're not descriptive, you're more to being straight-forward in your words and dialogues which made your story having no feeling of drama at all. Your vocabulary was quite good but you still need to improve in some way.
Writing Style (3/10)
You lack something in here. There's no emotion, it was more like the words they said but I can't even feel anything. Absolutely no feeling. I only felt the curiosity, of how on earth would Junsu tweeted that and whatsoever. Paragraph by paragraph it's always them talking and talking. You have to describe what they are doing too, where they are and what they are feeling inside. You have to write more in depth to make a wonderful story.
Overall Enjoyment (8/10)
I love DBSK so much, this story made me hope again that this is actually what is happening to them. That they planned everything beforehand, and that they still care and love each other. Plus, they still meet. If only that is true, I would be the happiest girl in the world ~ this is fun to read really, but I expected more not just a cliffhanger ending when Yoochun crossed his arms and walked out just like a little child who wasn't able to talk with whoever he wanted to talk. It was really funny though, as in I'm glad they are still five for each other but I wanted something more to it, a weirder, or maybe impossible imaginational ending. There were some confusion too, I don't really understand it or did I miss it? It's about the issue of Junsu's tweet, that is. I still loved it though!
Total – 54/100%
Reviewer: sususco123
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