✎The Ultimate Lesson.
✎♥The Dating Subject♥✎
We were in the park again, but this time, we sat on the swings.
"So...about our ultimate lesson..." Onew started off, staring at the ground while he swung gently.
I cleared my throat. "Uhm, Onew?"
"Yeah?"
"Before we start...can I ask you something?" I felt heat creeping up on my cheeks as I tried to state my question.
"What is it?" He swung a little higher.
"Well..." I swung higher too, just to meet his pace.
"Are you and...Jessica..." I bit my lip and swung higher.
"Are you and Jessica together?" I asked quickly before I could stop myself, all the while fearing the answer he will give off.
He stopped swinging immediately, his feet screeching on the sandy ground.
"What? What did you say?"
I continued to swing higher. "Are you and the cling queen together?" I repeated, swinging higher, almost not wanting to hear his answer.
Suddenly, I felt my swing slowing down until it fully stopped moving.
Onew rotated my swing around to face him, he was off his own swing and was crouching on the ground infront of me.
"Did I hear you right?"
"I guess." I mumbled, not looking at him.
"Basically...you're asking if Jessica and I are together? As in a couple?" His voice got serious.
"Maybe." I shrugged weakly, almost not wanting to talk about it anymore.
He laughed, to my surprise, and tilted my face to him.
I unwillingly looked into his eyes.
"We're not together. Okay? We're not a couple. And I'm not interested in her." He clarified.
"Oh." I wanted to jump for joy.
But of course, I didn't.
YES! THE CLING QUEEN AND ONEW AREN'T A COUPLE!!
"After all that happened these last few days...How can you even doubt?" He asked softly.
"Doubt what?" My heart was hammering.
"What my heart feels."
It felt as though my heart exploded inside my chest.
"W-What you...--" I trailed off, feeling dizzy all of a sudden due to all the emotions rushing to me all at once.
"Yes. What I felt. What I still feel now. And what I will always feel." He looked at me intently.
And what is that? I wanted to ask, but I couldn't get the words out.
My butterflies...it felt as though they have scattered and were flying around all over my body.
He moved nearer until we were approximately an inch apart.
"You know that I'm a stick-to-one kind of guy, right?" He asked seriously, holding my hand.
"Uh..." I felt so awkward, being so near him like this.
But I can't bring myself to pull away.
He sighed. "You know why Jessica is always hovering around me these past days?"
I shook my head.
"It's because I'm tutoring her." He laughed without humor.
"I thought tutoring someone else can get my mind off the one who was always inside it. But I was wrong." He took a deep breath.
"So wrong. I can't even teach her properly." He stared at me.
"I kept on thinking about someone else..the one who I really wanted to spend my time with after class...and I kept on messing up. It's a wonder Jessica understands what I'm teaching her."
"Pfft. I bet she's really after the lessons." I muttered.
He cracked a smile. "Don't be mad. I'm not even teaching her using my favorite technique--tactile learning." His eyes sparkled.
"I'm reserving that for my favorite student."
I smiled a little. Is that me?
Then he got serious again.
"My favorite student always clouded my thoughts, and the more I taught Jessica, the more I keep on comparing the two, the more I realize I'm with the wrong girl...and the more I miss...the one who holds my heart. But it felt like I couldn't do anything about it...because I was the one who went away. The one who was trying to forget." He said sadly.
I felt something unexplainable happening to my heart.
"Onew?"
He looked at me.
"But I'm here now." He murmured.
"And I'll explain everything."
No. No more explaining. This feels really weird and I don't know what I'm supposed to do!
I can't take this awkwardness anymore.
So I stood up quickly and walked.
"Maki..."
He trailed after me.
I'm not sure I'm ready for what will happen next.
He's saying these things and not mentioning any names and already, I felt like I couldn't breathe.
He suddenly stopped me, pulling me to him to give me a backhug.
"Don't you want to know who?"
"Know who?" My heart was hammering inside my chest.
"Who holds my heart."
"Onew..."
He didn't let me go but he turned me around to face him.
"I need to tell you all about her."
I felt nervous again and went to the nearest park bench.
He sat beside me.
"She..." He tilted his head to the side, staring at me.
"She's very beautiful...and she's got long, dark hair that's usually in a ponytail. But whenever she leaves it down..." He shook his head and smiled.
I blushed.
"Also...she likes chocolates! Especially kitkats." He smiled.
"I love buying her kitkats. Because it makes her happy. And it always makes my day when I see her smile. And flowers! Whenever I give her flowers, I always anticipate her reaction. And most of the time, I can't choose who's more beautiful...her or the flowers?" He looked at me.
"But I think...the flowers always lost. Even her favorite, the calla lilies? They can't compare." He shook his head.
I smiled inside. Calla lilies?
"She's a very good student...but she's naive in love. Or maybe...more like, clueless." He laughed.
I crossed my arms.
"But I think she should know..." He said softly.
"That her being innocent in love, only made me more curious about her. Curious to the point that...I can't let go anymore."
I looked at him in awe. Onew always had a way with words.
"She intrigues me so much, and she makes me dismiss meetings early. Sometimes..she makes me wish I wasn't president just so I can spend more time with her." He said softly then he looked at me, a smile playing on his lips.
"Should I resign?"
"No! Of course not!" I hastily said.
His smile grew wider.
"But maybe I will...just so I can always give her my full attention."
"Onew!" I was panicking a little. He's not serious about resigning...
Is he?
"But it's not like she doesn't have my full attention. I mean, she's always on my mind." He shrugged, his hand creeping up to hold mine.
"And did you know that...she's the only girl I'd agree to get beaten up for, take a 100 item quiz for on the spot, do jumping jacks for, and even ride death defying rollercoasters for because, I think she's worth it. She made me shout at my friends and she was even the reason why I lost my appetite for chicken before." His hand covered mine. "and she's the only girl I want to walk home with. Always." He gripped my hand tighter.
"Even if she says mean things to me at times..." I bit my lip.
"Or even if most of the time, she doesn't get why I do the things I do for her..It's okay. Because, really." He turned my face to him again.
"There's nothing in the world I'd rather do than sit with her here and explain everything."
Once again, I felt like I couldn't breathe.
Does he...does he really..
"I like you, Maki Teppei." He said seriously, staring at me.
"not just as a friend and not theoretically speaking."
I felt like crying. He has no idea how much I've been wanting to hear those words.
"I need you to know that while I was teaching you dating...you, in the process, taught me how to love." He whispered, going nearer.
"I'm in love with you. Really, really in love with you. That I can't even explain it properly with any words right now. I would have told you all this in some elaborate manner but...no set-up can match the intensity of what I feel. I've been trying to come up with ideas but...they don't seem right. And I was afraid you wouldn't understand. That like our lessons, you wouldn't be able to interpret correctly. So I decided not to use anything more but my words..." He looked down on our entwined hands.
"And what my heart feels. Because this is me. This is what I feel. And even if I express my love by announcing it infront of the whole school or...just the two of us here, together. Nothing will change. That even if we fight, even if I walk away, I'm always leaving my heart with you.
It will always be you who holds it...who will always have the power to break me apart." He exhaled slowly, I didn't even know he was holding his breath.
"Is that okay?"
"Okay?"
"That I'm giving you my heart. That it will be yours whether you like it or not."
That's when I felt my tears coming down.
Because never in my entire life...
did anyone said words as beautiful as what Onew just told me.
I didn't answer him and slowly, he was starting to look confused.
I smiled and inched closer to him, knowing at that moment what I should do.
"I love you too, Onew."
I whispered then I kissed him.
--
I leaned my head on Onew's shoulder. "I have something to confess."
"What is it?" He played with my hair.
"I made...a list." I admitted.
"A list?"
"Yes. A list." I sat up straight.
"Can you hand me my bag?" He passed me my bag and I opened it, looking for my notebook which contained the list.
"It's a really stupid list. I made it before. I can't remember when." I made a face.
"And I've always believed that my theories were right. But after spending some time with you, slowly, I began to doubt them."
He looked at me, waiting for me to go on.
I took a deep breath. "I don't know how you did it. But I think you're proving me wrong."
"Can I see the list?" He asked, his voice was innocent oddly though, his eyes were twinkling but I ignored it, since I was still embarrassed.
"Promise me you won't laugh!"
"I promise!" He smiled.
"You swear?" I had to make sure because my stupid list is really embarrassing.
"Sworn." His smiled turned into a grin as he placed one hand over his heart.
"Okay." I gave him my list and quickly hid my face through my hair.
"Hey!" I peeked at him and saw that he had a huge smile on.
"You crossed out three of them!" He said happily.
"Yeah." I mumbled. "They're really sil--"
"That means you're really learning!" He beamed at me.
"What?"
"All this time..the lessons we've been having. You rarely told me that you've actually learned from them!" He looked really happy.
"Well...yeah. I am learning of course. You're a great teacher."
"I knew it." He laughed, pulled me closer and looked at the list again.
"Hey. What about theory number four? Why didn't you cross that one out yet?"
"What's number four again?"
"Dating is not fun. It's a waste of time. People probably lose valuable time over dating when they could've already discovered the cure for cancer or something." He read, he looked like he was holding back a laugh.
"Yah!" I swatted him. "You said you wouldn't laugh!" I scowled.
"Sorry! Sorry!" He held my hand and kissed my cheek.
"I'm laughing because it's cute. You even included the cancer stuff." He laughed.
"I told you the list was silly." I got more embarrassed.
He laughed again. "It's not silly."
I rolled my eyes and he leaned my head on his shoulder.
"So what about it?"
"Hm?"
"Aren't you going to cancel the fourth one then? We've been on dates. And it's fun, right?"
I thought about it. "Now that you mention it...Yeah. I guess you're right. That friendly date we had before was fun." I smiled up at him.
"Fast lesson, my ramyeon girl, there's no such thing as a friendly date. Friendly dates don't exist, okay? What we had before, that was a real date." He laughed.
"Really? Then why did you say before that it was a celebration of our being friends again?" I was confused.
"Well...okay, there is such a thing as a friendly date...but..between the two of us, it will never exist. It will always be real."
"Oh."
He laughed again. "Now that is silly."
"Whatever." I stuck out my tongue and leaned on his chest.
"Wait, can I borrow your pen?"
He reached for his bag and took out a pen.
"What for?"
"This." I strike the fourth one.
Dating is not fun. It's a waste of time. People probably lose valuable time over dating when they could've already discovered the cure for cancer or something.
He beamed.
"You're really proving me wrong." I pouted at him.
He laughed and leaned down to kiss me.
I closed my eyes, never did I thought that I would get to kiss him again.
Especially because I swore to myself that it'll never happen again. Ever.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes.
"How about theory number five?" He seemed a little breathless.
"Number five?" I asked, still dazed.
"Yes."
"What's the fifth one again?" My theories were slipping out of my mind fast.
"Falling in love is not real. I actually found a scientific explanation for this, it's all in the brain, trust me.
PS. Also, love is stupid, you get hurt and depressed, and who needs that? Love will only bring pain! Love pain!"
"Scientific theory?" He looked curious.
"It's something I read before. There's something that rushes to our body when we feel something special for a person. It's called phenylthalamine. It's supposed to give that person a feeling of being inlove, but in reality, it's all just temporary and it fades and people fall out of love." I explained.
His mouth dropped open. "Do you actually believe that?"
"Well, it's a scientific fact." I shrugged.
He was speechless.
"But don't worry, I think one of your abilities is bending well-known scientific facts." I grinned at him.
"Should I trust you on that?" He raised his eyebrows playfully.
I got serious."For the first time, my brain failed me. It made me think stupid things, I was on denial because I was blind to what's actually infront of me." I looked down on the ground.
"And I've always followed my brain and not my heart. It took me so long to realize that it was my heart that would make me happy."
"You know," He looked thoughful.
"I usually follow my heart but for some time, I tried listening to my brain. It was when we argued." He confessed.
"I wanted to get rid of my feelings for you because I was losing hope. I felt that you won't love me back. I told myself that I needed to be patient because you've never experienced falling in love before. And for some time, I tried to convince myself that I needed to delete you from my system. And my heart." He looked sad.
"I kept on commanding my brain to forget you, but you know what my heart would always feel like?" He held my hand tighter.
"It felt like my heart would curse me. Because whenever my heart tries to command my brain to erase you, it seems like it's telling my heart: Pabo-yah Onew's heart, how can I erase her when I see you bleed everytime I try?"
This time, I was the one who was speechless.
"Did you really feel that?" My heart ached for him.
"Yes." He whispered. "Do you see what you've done to me?"
"I'm sorry..." I felt sad that I had put him through something like that.
"But you see everything clearly now, right?" He asked softly.
I nodded.
"But...what about your PS note?" He asked.
"Hmm..Well you did bring me pain." I looked at him, pretending to be serious.
"I seriously regret that." He looked sorrowful. "But don't worry, you'll give me lots of time to make up for it right?" He looked at me hopefully.
"3 months?" I kidded.
He made a face. "How about always?"
"6 months?" I continued to tease.
"Eternity?"
"A year?"
"A lifetime?" His smile reached his eyes.
"Hmm..Half of it?" I giggled.
He bit his lip. "Can't you extend it to forever?" He murmured to me.
"Are you sure you're up for that?" I stared back at him.
"I've never been so sure about anything more in my life."
"Deal." I grinned at him and leaned on his chest again.
"And as part of the deal...Give me the list for a minute." He said.
I handed it to him and he clicked his pen.
"What are you doing?" I asked, looking at my list in his hands.
"Crossing it out for you." I saw him grin as he crossed out the fifth theory and clicked his pen off.
"There!" His smile widened.
Falling in love is not real. I actually found a scientific explanation for this, it's all in the brain, trust me.
PS. Also, love is stupid, you get hurt and depressed, and who needs that? Love will only bring pain! Love pain!
"Oh, great. Now I'm all out of theories." I pretended to scoff.
"Is that so?" His eyes sparkled again.
"Then we'll need to do something about that, huh?"
"Uh-huh." I raised an eyebrow at him.
He began to write something. "Here's one thing you should never cross out."
He murmured to me.
I glanced at the list. It says:
Lee Jinki's heart.
I smiled.
"It's not exactly a theory but..." He tucked my hair in my ear.
"it's something that you can hold on to forever."
I smiled and leaned in to kiss him.
"I think we need to add one more thing." I murmured.
"What?"
I drew a chicken and a chocolate bar.
"Us."
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