I poked my head in the classroom, I looked left, then right.

All clear.

I heaved a sigh of relief and entered the room.
I walked to my desk and sat down.
I shouldn't have gone to class today.
I really shouldn't have.

I felt my face flush again when last night's incident came to my mind.
It was a mistake. A mistake.

And it will never happen again.

ONEW'S POV

Last night's event came to my mind.

Flashback
"Great timing. Thanks a lot you guys." I said sarcastically.
Key was still firing questions at me which I chose to ignore.

"Sorry." Jonghyun snickered.
"We didn't know you were trying to score, hyung."

"I wasn't trying to score!"

"Uh-huh." He smiled knowingly.
I shook my head. Jonghyun just wouldn't understand.
That kiss was..

"You should only kiss the girl you're in love with, hyung."
Minho advised, walking over to my study table.

"But hyung's inlove with her!" Taemin said without a care while trying to take the package from my bedstand.

"I heard you brought her to the chicken shop." Minho crossed his arms.

"Omo. This is getting serious." Key's eyes were wide as he sat on my bed.

"Did she kiss you back?" Jonghyun looked interested.

"Yes." I answered glumly.

"Then why so sad?" He also made a move to grab the package Maki bought for me.

"Because—Yah!! don't touch that you guys!--Because she would probably avoid me now."

"Why?" Key stared at me.

"Is it because we saw what happened?" Minho asked.
I nodded.

"But she did kiss you back, right?" Key wanted to make sure.

"Yeah, yeah. She did." What's the deal, anyway?

"Then she won't avoid you. She likes you." He said confidently and stood up to inspect my chicken package too.
End of flashback.

I entered the room and looked for the one person I wanted to see.
There she is.
Her head was buried in her backpack.

I tiptoed over to the seat next to her.
I took a deep breath.

Act normal, Onew.
Act normal.

"Hey Maki~!" I ruffled her hair.
I swear, I felt her froze up.

"Hey, you sleeping?" I continued my normal act and shook her teasingly.
She lifted her head slowly.

"Hey Onew." Her voice sounded weak.

"Hey! Are you okay?" She didn't look liker her normal self.

Instead of answering my question, she just buried her head in her bag again.
I need to do this.
"About last night.." I began.

She quickly stood up.

"Bathroom!" She announced and fled the room, running.
I shook my head. I can see that this is going to work really well.

MAKI'S POV

I avoided Onew the whole day. Whenever I see him coming, I quickly turn around and walk the opposite direction. It wasn't easy, let me tell you.
He seems to be everywhere! The classroom, the corridors, the lockers, even outside the girls' restroom! And everytime he sees me, he's more mischievous than ever!

Here's a sample of our conversation:
Onew (blocking my locker): Maki~ah! How many planets do we have again?
Me: *stares at Onew, annoyed.* I know what you're doing.
Onew: *innocent face* I'm serious! I really forgot!
Me: *sighs* There are 8 planets, Onew.
Onew: *shocked* EIGHT? ISN'T IT NINE?!
Me: *frowning* No! Because they don't consider Pluto as a planet anymore!
Onew: Oh right..(he's obviously lying about not knowing) Well what about--
Me: I heard they're giving away free chickens in the cafeteria.
Onew: *drops books*

I spent 20 minutes in my locker because he wouldn't move aside. I finally had to lie and tell him that they were giving away chicken in the cafeteria for free.

Onew would believe anything about chicken.

I shook my head. This is going to be a long day.


ONEW'S POV

I walked to the student council room with a frown.
There were no free chickens in the cafeteria.

"Hey, Onew hyung! What's up?" Taemin was lounging in the chair.
Being a club leader, Taemin loves to stay in this room. Mostly because of the vendo machine which was free for us.

"There's no chicken." I slumped in the chair.

"There's more to life than chicken, Onew hyung." Key walked over to us.

"It's not just that." I said glumly.

"What?"

"Maki's avoiding me."

"Who's avoiding you?" Jonghyun came bounding in the room.

"Maki noona." Taemin sipped his banana milk.

"You said she wouldn't avoid me!" I looked at Key accusingly.

"Did I say that?" Key tries to look innocent.

"Yes you did!" I continued.

Flashback
"Then she won't avoid you. She likes you." Key says confidently and heads over to inspect my chicken package.
End of flashback.

"I don't remember." Key mumbles and stares off somewhere else.

"Yeah. I don't think Key said anything." Jonghyun walked over with a can of orange juice soda.

"I also heard what Key hyung said." Taemin backed me up and swirls around in his chair.

"When?"

"Yeah. What time?" Jonghyun was taking Key's side.

"Last night." I mumbled then glared at them.
"Yah, JongKey! Quit lying!"

"Yeah, Key hyung. You should set a good example to me!" Taemin stood up to go to the vendo to get another banana milk.

"JongKey huh?" Key wrinkled his nose.
"Well maybe OnTae should consider this fact: I guess I was wrong and she doesn't really like you." He shrugs.

"Not helping." Minho joined us.

"Now it's On.." Jonghyun looked to Key for help.

"On2Min?" Key supplied helpfully.

"Yeah." Jjong nodded.
"It's not fair though. 3 vs 2?" He made a derpy face.

"Stop with the pairings hyung." Minho turned to me.
"Look, Onew hyung, there's only one viable solution to your problem."

"What?"

"Talk to her. And make sure, she listens."
Hooray for Minho and all his wisdom!

"Thank God someone's sensible around here." I glared at the two people who are suppose to be my friends.

"Hey! I'm helpful too, hyung." Taemin sat on the chair again.

"Of course. And besides, On2Min can win over JongKey anytime." I kidded.

"We'll see about that!" Key stuck his tongue out at me but then proceeded to give me instructions on what I should do.

I smiled.

Now this, is what I call friendship.

MAKI'S POV

I cautiously entered the cafeteria door.
Is he here?

I walked cautiously around.
Is he here?

No, I can't risk it. This is the first place he'll go to, that's for sure.
Ignoring the hungry feeling in my stomach, I turned around and headed to the one place no one goes to during lunch.

ONEW'S POV

I walked fast.

Faster, my brain commanded.
Before she hides again.

I reached the cafeteria door and was about to push it open when Key's first instruction came to my mind:
Look for the one place she thinks no one will go to look for her.

I smiled, definitely not the cafeteria.
I know that's the first place she'll think I'll search.

Hmm, if I was a girl who's avoiding the guy I kissed last night, where would I hide?

The girls' restroom? I walked over there and was about to go in but stopped myself.
Er, maybe she's not there anyway.

Hmm...the classroom?
I poked my head in.
Nope, no hiding-from-onew girl here.

I am a girl who's hiding from a guy...
I walked down the halls thoughtfully.
Then grinned.
Oh of course, where else would a brainiac go?

Turning around swiftly, I went up the stairs and turned right.
The best place for hiding and confrontation avoidance.

The library.

I pushed open the door and looked around.
Only a few students were there, mostly trying to catch sleep or just really studying or surfing the net.

I walked aisle per aisle, table per table.
My eyes lit up.

Checkmate.

I'd know that long hair anywhere.
She was reading a book, but then, she looked deadly bored.
And hungry.

I shook my head, concerned.
If only she wasn't hiding from me, she wouldn't have to skip lunch like this.
If only I hadn't kissed her...

I paused.

Was that something I should regret?

Key's second instruction:
when you see the perfect chance to confront her, don't let it go, pabo.

Before I could stop myself, I sat on the chair across to her.
She looked up, her eyes widening.
"Onew?" Her voice was just above a whisper.

Basic rule of the library: silence.

"Maki." I smiled.
"What are you doing here? Aren't you going to eat lunch?"

She looked away.
"I'm not hungry."

She's still a terrible liar.
I dug around my bag and looked for my emergency food.

Kitkat.

Ever since I found out she likes them, I always make it a point to bring some.
I offered it to her.
She bit her lip, hesitating.

"Listen, about last night.." I began again.

"Uh...oh I just remembered, I need to meet Mika today. Thanks for the Kitkat anyway, Onew."
She stood up, not accepting the chocolate.

But I took her hand, fast.
"No." I said pleasantly.
"We're going to talk about this."


"W-what's there to talk about?" Her smile was forced.

"Won't you sit down?" I pleaded, wearing my biggest smile to get her to comply.
She sighed resignedly and sat back down.

"Look, I'm sorry.." I began again.

"Last night was a mistake Onew." She stared directly at me.
"The kiss...was a mistake."

I frowned. A mistake?

"There's no mistake."

The librarian shushed us behind the cartels and Maki looked visibly relieved.
"We can't talk about this right now. Let's deal with this later." She started to stand up.

"No." I said sternly.
"Stop trying to get away, Maki."

I stood up and offered my hand.
She stared at it.

"Come on." I whispered.
She looked at me hesitantly then at my hand. There's no time for this anymore.
I held her hand and led her to the farthest part of the library. Almost no one ever goes there.

And there are no librarians.

I pulled out a chair for her and smiled.
She sat on it, looking tired.
I sat on the chair across from her and stared.

"What's the problem?"

"There's no problem, Onew." She didn't look at me.

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

"You're avoiding me. And you're obviously uncomfortable around me.” I pouted.

“Is it because of the kiss?" I asked gently.
She didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry, Maki. I didn't know you would be weirded out this way. I don't want you to feel like this around me."
I reached for her hand.
"I really like being friends with you."

She finally looked at me.
"None of this is your fault, Onew."


MAKI'S POV

I wouldn't know what to say anymore. He's right.

The kiss last night only intensified my confusions about how I feel about him.
And he's right. The friendship, I did like the friendship very much.

"No, it's my fault." He sighed, looking apologetic.

"No. Why are you apologizing? It was theoretical remember?"

"What?" He looked confused.

"Remember your words? You said: theoretically speaking, I like you.." I quoted him.

"But that's not really what I mean--"

"No, I understand. I'm not mad, Onew." I cut him off.
"I'm sorry for being weird right now. But--"

"Maki." I looked up, he was frowning.

"No Onew, let me speak. I know our friendship matters to you, and that goes for me too. So I know."

"What do you know?"

"I know that the kiss means nothing."
I don't know why but it hurt a little to say that. That was my first kiss after all.
But I know Onew never meant the kiss to be romantic or even close to that.

"Nothing?" He looked at me in disbelief.

"Yes." I swallowed. Why is this so hard?
"It's okay, Onew." I tried to give him a bright smile.
"Look, I really need to go now." Truth is, I'm still uncomfortable around him.

I stood up.

"Wait." He grabbed my arm again but he did not look at me.
"Did the kiss--our kiss--really meant nothing to you?"

"Y-yes." I lied, my voice dropping to a whisper.
I just didn't want to be embarrassed.
That's obviously what the kiss--our kiss--meant to him.

He blinked, not saying anything.
I've never seen him more serious.
"I see." Came his reply.

I turned my back to him, not wanting him to see my face. He knew I was a terrible liar, I just couldn't risk it.
I started to walk away.
"Maki?" He called out softly.

I turned around. "Yes?"

"Are we going to go home together later?" He asked, still serious.

I shook my head.
"I'm sorry, Onew. I have a math club meeting today." It's true. We have a meeting. And yeah, I don't really attend, but maybe this time I will.
I really need to get away from him, if only to to stop all this confusion in my heart.

"Oh." He looked deep in thought.

"I have to go now, Onew." I said, walking away.
I don't think that talk went well at all.

–---

The whole day passed by slowly.

It was torturous for me.
Being in the same class with Onew and feeling this way.

I avoided looking his way the whole time.
He was unusually quiet too.

When the last bell rang, I quickly stood up and gathered my things.
I can't help it though, I looked back at Onew.
He was fixing his things slowly, placing each item in his bag carefully, as if they weigh a ton.
He looked sad too.

I turned around quickly, before I do something I shouldn't do.

I walked to the math club, taking one step at a time.

I wish I could go back and comfort him.
I wish I just told him the truth.

I entered the door to the club and looked around. Donghae sunbae was there first, arranging the chairs.

"Maki!" He looked surprised.
"What are you doing here?"

"Don't we have a club meeting today?" I asked, confused.

"Well...yes." He raised his eyebrows.
"It's a shame, though. You don't really attend our meetings all that much, and now that you do attend, you're actually excused." He laughed a little.

"Excused?"

"Yes. Didn't you know?" He looked at me weirdly.

I shook my head.
"Onew talked to me after lunch. He told me to excuse you from today's meeting because he's assigning you to do something else. He said something about you needing ramyeon or something."

"What?" I was surprised.

Donghae shrugged.
"It's okay, Maki. You can still attend the other meetings." He smiled kindly.

The other members were starting to file into the room.
I said goodbye to him and left, feeling numbed.
Onew had excused me.

Ramyeon?

Sometimes I don't get him at all.


I walked home.
Alone.
Well, that's okay. At least I can sort out my thoughts now.

But even as I walked, my thoughts are a mess and I can't think clearly.
I sighed, I wish I can talk to someone right now.

When I reached our house, I opened the door glumly and went up to my room.

My mom is out with in her clinic today.
And my sister, Mizuki, is probably with her friends too.
I changed my clothes and lounged at my bed.

I wasn't even in the mood to study.

Suddenly, I heard a knock.
Who could it be? Could it be--

Nah, impossible.

"Hiya, sis!" My sister came bounding into my room, her hands behind her back.

"Mizuki." I said tiredly.

Of course it wasn't him. Pabo.

She was grinning at me.
"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"Why so bummed, unnie?"

"I'm not bummed."

"Yes you are. But I know the cure!" She says happily .
"Here!" She s to me a bouquet of white roses and a small package.

"What's this?" I looked at her in surprise.
Is it sisters day today or something?

"Your boyfriend left that for you today!" She said teasingly, sitting in my bed.

"Boyfriend?"

"Yeah. That guy who came here and cooked that really good ramyeon! Oh wait, I remember now, it's Onew sunbae! He's always in our classroom during the mornings just to talk to Taemin or to bring him his daily supply of banana milk. Blech." She made a face.
My sister is classmates with Taemin. And is not a big fan of banana milks.

"Onew brought this?" How many times am I going to be surprised today, anyway?
"When?"

"Uhmm, before you came in." She laid on my bed.
"He left in a hurry though. And he even asked a favor from me!" She wrinkled her nose.

"What favor?"

"He asked me to cook you ramyeon! He even gave me his recipe!" She looked happy.
"I was going to do it but when I checked our cupboard, we were out of ramyeon noodles. Mianhe, unnie."

How did Onew get here so fast? The last time I saw him he was arranging his things so slowly.
I looked at the flowers.

White roses. I saw that there was a note inside:
I hope that our friendship can be as pure as this roses again. I'm really sorry.
Friends?

I swallowed.
Friends?
Is that what I want?

My sister started to open the package.
"Hey! Kitkat!" She looked happy then stopped, frowning.
"You can't eat this unnie."

I looked at her guiltily. But then Onew's words about how this was the only thing that connects me to my dad came back.
"No..it's okay now. We can eat this again." I opened the 6 pack and offered it to her.

"But mom..."

"Umma will understand."

"Okay!" She shrugs, takes two and begins to unwrap them, eating happily.
"What's wrong, unnie?"

"Huh?"

"You've been wearing a long face ever since you came home for dinner last night. Although you don't look so flushed now."

"It's nothing."

"Liar." She bit into the chocolate.

I watched her eat, maybe I should tell her?
"Mizuki, what if..for example.."
Mizuki's eyes widened. I guess she didn't expect me to open up.
"There's a girl who's uhm...having trouble on a subject. And she asked this guy to help her because he's really good at it."

"Wait, what subject?"

"Dating." I said automatically. "I mean--"

"Okay, dating. Then what?" She looked at me.
Oh well, no use to change the subject now.

"Then..the guy started to teach her using tactile learning. But she doesn't get the lessons. But..." I stared at my toes
"somehow, little by little, she's starting to like having these lessons."

"How is he teaching her anyway?"

"Well, for their first lesson, he took her to a park and he was really nice and even bought her ice cream. Then, he took her to a flower shop, and ever since then..he never lets a day pass without him giving her flowers."

"Wow! That's so sweet!" Mizuki squealed then stopped, noticing all the flowers in my table and in my bedstand.
"Oh no..." She stared at me.
"Don't tell me you're the girl?"

"Uh..no. It's not like--"

"And sunbae's the boy!" She breathed, putting the pieces together.
How come my sister's so fast on the uptake and I'm not??

"My God, unnie." She sat up.
"Tell me everything."

–----

So that's exactly what I did.
I told her every lesson we had. Although they don't feel like lessons to me.

When I got to the part about the contest, she kept on squealing.
And she was so shocked when she heard the warehouse episode.

"Unnie!! Why didn't you tell me all these?!"

"Quiet down!" I shushed her.

"Mom's not around anyway."
She narrowed her eyes. "So that's why you weren't here when I came home from my classmate's that day!"
"Then what happened next?!" She demanded.

Should I tell her?

"Tell ME!" She looks so excited.

"You have to promise not to tell mom." I warned her.

"I promise!" She quickly entwines her pinky with mine and looks at me with her eyes wide, waiting for me to go on.

"Well.." I blushed.
"We...uh..we kissed last night.

"WHAT?! MY GOD!! ON THE LIPS?!"

"Yes." I said quietly.

"Unnie! My god. I can't believe my nerdy sister's already been kissed! And by Onew sunbae!!" She screams into the pillow.

I frowned. "So what if it's Onew?"

"Do you know how many fangirls he has at our class alone?" She stared at me.

Fangirls?! Onew has fangirls?!

"What?? FANGIRLS?!"

"Yeah. I can't believe you didn't know."

"But why?" I was still shocked.

"Well duh. His smile alone makes girls faint."

"REALLY?!"
How come I never knew this?!I mean I know he had a really nice smile. But girls fainting?!

Oh come on.

It's not like Onew's an idol or something.

"Are you sure you go to the same school with the rest of us, unnie?" She rolled her eyes.
I made a face at her. It's not my fault that I'm not updated with things like that.

"So, what happened next?" She prodded me.

"That's the thing." I confessed.
"I don't know what happens next."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know why I feel this way."

"Why? What do you feel?"

"Butterflies."

"Hundreds?"
I nodded.

She squealed again. I can't help but think that my little sister is finding my dilemma a little too entertaining.
"Why? When??"

"Well.." I thought about it.
"Whenever he gives me flowers. Even though I'm sure he only gives them to me because we're friends...and whenever he holds my hand..and.."
basically whenever he smiles at me and whenever I'm with him.

"And?" my sister prompted me.

"Nothing." I said quickly.

My sister sighed.
"Are you sure?"

I didn't speak.

"Mizuki?"

"Yeah?"

"Do your.." I blushed. "Do your guy friends give you flowers?"

She snorted.
"No."

"Really? Not even once? Are you sure?"
She nodded, looking at me suspiciously.

"Well, what about petnames? They give you petnames, right??"
I asked desperately.

"Unnie.." She looked at me.
"Are you sure you're third in class?"

I frowned.
"You're really good academically, but in love, you deserve an F!" She scolded me.

"An F?!" I cannot even swallow my C and she's telling me I deserve an F? What a great little sister.

"Pabo." She shook her head.
"Boys don't give flowers unless they like the girl!" She threw a pillow at me.

I dodged it.
"What?"

"Unnie! Look, do you like him?"

"I don't know." I said quietly.

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure of what I feel right now." I admitted.

"Oh Lord, you do need help. Wait here, okay?"
She went out and when she came back, she was carrying a magazine.

"You're going to take a test!" She flipped it open to a quiz.
"Are you into him?" She zeroes her eyes on me meaningfully.

"Okay, let's start.

#1. He compliments you on your carefully chosen outfit. Do you:
a. Squeal uncontrollably in delight?
b. Thank him modestly and sweetly?
c. Flutter your eyelashes, blush prettily, and twirl around to show off your clothes more?
d. Look him up and down and criticize his clothes.”

"What?" I looked at her in disbelief.
"What the hell are those choices?"

"Just answer!" She instructed.

"Fine." I huffed. "B."

She marked something in her magazine and proceeded.

"Okay. #2. He asks you out on a date, where would you want to go?
a. Somewhere fun, like the theme park. He can hold your hand throughout the tunnel of love ride!
b. To the museum, it's time to soak up art and culture and be soulful lovers for a day.
c. To a romantic restaurant, where you can stare at each other's eyes all night.
d. You turn him down."

"Err...” I love amusement parks but the tunnel of love ride thingy is so weird!
“B." I answered instead.
"except for the soulful lovers thing, that's weird."

"Uh-huh." Mizuki marked it again.

"#3. It's a rainy cold night and he calls you up. He starts to sing you a song to put you to sleep, what does his voice feel to you?
a. It makes you feel warm all over. He has this deep voice that makes you swoon.
b. It makes you want to go to sleep immediately. He has the sweetest voice that makes you want to curl up next to him.
c. It makes you want to do a musical with him. He has an award-winning voice!
d. It makes you want to put down the phone. His voice !”

"Er..." a or b?
"Uh...A!" I answered, a little unsurely.

"Really? That makes me want to hear sunbae's voice!" She smiles dreamily.

I shook my head. "What's next?"

"Okay, #4. While in class, you found out that he's injured himself and is in the clinic. What do you do?
a. Drop everything and go to him, all the while blaming everything that harmed him.
b. Finish class first but worry constantly about him the whole period.
c. Immediately plan a get well soon party for him.
d. You don't care. he can take care of himself.”

I shook my head.
"B." but I wouldn't worry the whole period.

Right?

"Okay, last question.#5. He finally confesses to you that he likes you. You:
a. Immediately admit that you like him too. at last! he now knows you're meant to be together!
b. Get flustered and avoid him the whole day, but secretly like him back anyway.
c. Ask him to get you couple rings right now. this is the moment you've been waiting for!
d. Apologize because you don't feel the same way."

My sister stared at me carefully.
"Well?"

I gulped.
"Uhm..D."

"Unnie.." she said gently.
"Do you promise to never lie to me, ever?" she gave me her puppy look.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your sister! And I have your best interests at heart. So..do you promise?" She held up her pinky. I shrugged.
What is she up to now?

"I promise." and entwined my pinky with hers.

"Cross your heart."
I rolled my eyes but did as she said.

"Are you lying right now?"

"No!" I frowned.

"Okay. Give me your answer to the last question and.."
she stared at me.
"Remember your promise."

I groaned inwardly. So this is why.

"Fine." I bit my lip.
"B." I said in a small voice.

She marks something in her paper again.
"Okay, here's the results."

She hands me the magazine.
But as I look at it, I saw that it was turned into a fashion page.

There was no quiz.

Instead, written on a white paper in the center of the magazine is:
You're in love with him, unnie.

I looked at her.
“No! No! There must be some mistake! I am not in love with him! That's just...” I threw my hands up.
“Ridiculous.”

“Is it?” She looks bored.

“Yes.”

“You promised me a while ago you weren't gonna lie anymore!”

“I'm not lying!”

“Then you're in denial?”

I huffed. “I am not!”
But my sister just stared at me.

“Okay, okay. Maybe I do like him.”

Her eyes twinkled. “I knew--”

“But maybe this is just infatuation!” I said hastily.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Well at least you're aware that you like him.”

"But.. do you really think so?" I asked softly.

"I know so." She patted me.
"Unnie, I know you're confused right now, but you need to face what you feel. You can't keep running away from sunbae. You need to be strong."

"But I don't know if he feels the same way."

"I think it's a pretty safe bet that he does."

"But what if he's only doing all those things to teach me? I don't want to get heartbroken."
She looks at me directly and holds my hand tight while saying in a soft voice.

"That's what I meant about being strong."

class notes

Hey classmates! :>

Know what? I would love to know your answers to Mizuki's quiz!

So answer away, okay? HAHA:>

Thanks for reading!~ and lots of love to  my beloved subscribers + commenters.

you never fail to make my day. ;)

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