“that was a good episode” She settled in the seat beside him in the car. “Yeah that was good. But you freaking out during the pepero kiss was just funny! Do you expect me to really kiss you??” He laughed remembering rher reaction when he held on to her face.

“You held my face! Whenever you do that, you would kiss me.  How am I supposed to not freak out??  You always do things unexpectedly.” She blushed. He reached for her hand. “Don’t worry, I know my limits. Besides, you warned me so many times.” He squeezed her hand to reassure her.

“Oppa, aren’t you tired? You’ve been soaking in water, you carried me. Let me drive” She offered. He had been very attentive towards her the whole day. She saw his tired face in the pool. “It’s OK. That was nothing. Carrying you in front of the camera felt good. That’s the most I can get out of you in public, You’re heavy…” She hit his arm. “Yaaa! You should not talk like that to any girl!”  He loves seeing her getting angry like this. He loves watching her with all her different reactions to whatever he says. “I was kidding! How can I say that when you’ve told me I am handsome out of a sudden” He winked at her.

“I was looking at you and suddenly I noticed how handsome you are in the water.  Do you know that you’re extra handsome when you’re soaked?”

“My fans say that all the time. Glad that you think so too. At least I am handsome at certain times.  Better than being ugly all the time.” He knows he doesn’t have the look. He’s happy that she thinks him handsome. “You know what oppa? When I first saw you, I know for a fact you weren’t good looking” He let go of her hand feigning to sulk. “Hahaha! Seriously, oppa” she reached out for his hand again. “Then, after some time, I don’t know why, you seem to look more attractive everyday tho your face is still the same, I find you handsome. Now, you’re also cute and handsome… and y” She was baiting for his smile. He grinned that cute foolish grin of his.  He is not used to being praised. “And you’re already beautiful the first day I saw you.  I didn’t think you can get more beautiful but I am always drunk in your beauty” She laughed at his choice of words. Drunk. 

They reached her apartment. He parked by the quiet road just before the guard house.  Turned to her and held her face. “We don’t have filming next week. Can we spend time together? You’ll be busy with your drama the rest of the week. Can I please have Monday?” She smiled at that deep voice. His face so close to hers that the sound resonates inside her. “Sure. I’ll go to your house and we can spend time together.” Before he could move forward, she was already kissing him goodbye. And he was also drunk in that kiss. He still had his eyes close when she ended it. She decided that deserve one more kiss. “How am I going to live the rest of the week missing that?”

………..

“FOUR days!” he said on the phone. “That is 96 hours! You know how long that is??” He was complaining on the phone.   She just finished her scene was taking a break before the next scene. She called him up to hear his voice. “Oppa, you should make yourself busy.  Write songs, record something.  You wouldn’t feel that long”

“I write songs about you, it gets more difficult if I do this work of mine.  I am constantly reminded of you” Her heart squeezed a little tighter hearing that.  He is so honest with his feelings, he will tell her whatever he feels. “OK, then. Go take your mom out somewhere. Take your family  on a short trip somewhere. Come back on Monday for me” She knows he is close to his family but he seldom make time to go on holiday with them. He would often go back to his parents for meals and a few hours of bonding.  “That would be a good idea. Maybe that will help.” He cheered up. He likes that she always reminds him of his family.

…….

He was waiting for her at home.  The getaway with his family was good.  His sister is growing up too fast. Her boyfriend came to join them for lunch. He is happy for her. At 25, she is already talking about marriage. They are planning for next year. His father had him alone, smoking in the garden of the resort.  They rarely have man-to-man talk. That was one of those times.

“Hee Gun ah… When are you going to start a family?  Your mom has been worrying about you.  She worried that no one is going to take care of you if she dies.  We’re not that young anymore” His head bent down. “I am afraid.” His father knows what he was trying to say. “Let the past go. When you’ve found her, you should give her something to make her want to stay. Last time you took too long.   I know you’ve found that girl. You’ve lost her once and worked so hard to get her back. Give her a reason to stay. You can take it slow… but make her stay because we can’t watch you getting hurt anymore.”

His father is right. He is so sure he wants her for the rest of his life. He should make the move, give her a reason to stay.  He knows she has her contract.  He can’t change that. She would definitely not agree to a wedding anytime soon. She’s at the peak of her career.  He wouldn’t want her to let go of her dreams for him. He tried that once and lost her. He is not taking the risk.

………..

“Let’s watch a romantic movie. I am feeling a little romantic today” she suggested, looking through his DVD collection. She picked a movie and handed it to him. She sat back on the comfy sofa.  Halfway thru the movie, she was dozing off on his chest.  He laid down flat on the sofa and got her into a comfortable position beside him.  He stopped watching the movie and watched her sleep instead. He too, dozed off after a while.  She woke up to a different position she remembered being in before sleeping. She looked up and saw Gary sleeping peacefully.  She traced her finger on his eyebrows, going towards his nose and ending on his lips.  He was unaffected by it. Still sleeping. She leaned up and kiss him awake. He woke up with a smile, knowing that lingering scent well.

“Oppa, do you need to sleep more?” He shook his head and got up with her. “Nope. I fell asleep waiting for you to wake up.  You must be tired.” He massaged her shoulder. “Let me prepare a bath for you to relax. I’ll cook dinner while you bathe.”  She hugged him “You’re the best!” He got up and pulled her to his bath room.  the faucet and poured in her favorite bath salt. “Done. Take your time to relax, I’ll check on you when I’m done cooking”

…….

“Oppa, I have to go home now. I need to prepare for tomorrow’s filming.” She announced after dinner. His face was instantly down. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. “I am sorry but I really have to” She caressed his chin. “Can’t you prepare here? Please…” She smiled at his desperation. “You and I know very well I am not going to have time to prepare if we are together.” She spoke softly to him. “I will make it up to you after the drama ends.” He is still silent. “Oppa, don’t make it hard for me. OK, Let’s talk for a while before I go.”  He nodded. That is better than nothing.

He circled his arms around her waist. “Jihyo… can we please live together? “ She did not expect that question.  They have agreed to take it slow. She is not ready to answer that.  She had not thought about it. “I know you’re tied to your contract.  But we can keep it low. I can’t stand not having you around for so long.  At least if you stay here, I know you’ll be coming back although for a little while.  I can make time for you when you’re back.  Seeing you once a week like this is not working for me. I miss you so much. Talking on the phone is not enough. I need to see you. I want to hold you. I want to see that you’re ok” He burst out with all that he have kept inside. Jihyo was surprised, rendered speechless. She was staring through his chest.

He expected her to come up with some excuses to not agree with him but not this reaction.  He was sure she never expected the question to come along.  He was instantly upset. He let go of her. And walked to his room.  “Make sure the door’s lock when you go out.” And he was out of sight.

She was stunned by his reaction. She didn’t even have time to recover from the question and he walked away. She knows him. This will not be a good time to talk to him.  He is angry and upset.  The last time it happened, she reacted and they broke up.  She’ll just leave him to calm himself before talking to him. She left.

………….

She kept herself busy with her drama and waited for him to at least text her back.  She texted him the past few days but he did not reply. It’s Monday and like it or not, she will have to face him. She has her answer.  She just need to talk to him.

She went early to the set. Jaesuk, HaHa and Jongkook were already there. She told them what happened with tears in her eyes.  She wanted them to know so they don’t push them together during filming to make it more awkward.  She knows it’s going to be similar to the breakup all over again.  At least back then, she initiated the breakup. She had closure.  But this will hurt her.

As expected Gary was cold, saying words to hurt her every chance he gets.  The other members noticed it.  Jaesuk and Jongkook keep comforting her.  She was on the verge of tears.. She wanted to talk to him.  He refused. He is still angry.  HaHa tried too but he would not listen. He has his ego.

Gary could not look at her.  He is still angry.  He wasn’t sure she loves him as much as he does.  If he looks he knows the wall he built for the past week would instantly crumble. He wanted her to get the point.  He wanted her to know that he is upset because he has been giving her so much all this while and she can’t even give him an answer to a question.

He stole a few glances at her when nobody’s looking.  He wanted to see her hurt. He think he did succeed in hurting her with his words and action. He is still not satisfied. She did worse to him.  He didn’t think that was enough.

At the pool, the game was to push off their opponents into the water. He did well. When he was going forward he threw his cap backwards. When he went back to retrieve it, He saw Jihyo wearing it. He was irritated by it. He glared at her.

She thought she’d have the chance to talk when he asks for his cap. He didn’t ask. He was glaring.  She had not seen those eyes so dark. She didn’t want to deal with it in front of everybody and threw the cap near him. He took it and was on the other side.

The opponent team was attacking full force using one man to run into them pushing all of them into the water.  Gary fell into the water after an elbow hit him in the chest. He was struggling to stand up and get out of the water.  The moment he got out, he was looking for jihyo. Worried that she had gotten it worse than him. He saw her. She walked towards the platform and Jongkook went to her to make sure she’s OK. Convinced that she’s OK, he pretended not to care.

That night, Jihyo texted him again. “Can we please talk.  You acting that way is not good. Stop being childish. Man up and talk to me”.  She was upset. He was going to give in after that pool incident but that text infuriated him.

Filming resumed  the next day with a new set of guests. Gary is even worse with her compared to the day before. His words are sharper, inflicting more pain.  She was on the verge of tears the whole day.  It was so hard for her to act normal and smile.  He was really close with the female guest.  She wanted to end it. She wanted to be with him. He talked the girl into choosing him again so she didn’t have a chance to be alone with him.  At the end of the day, she was glad filming ended.  She could not handle the hurt he is causing her.  She tried so hard for the past two days.

She decided he is too upset to listen to her.  She will just let him come to her when he is ready.  She didn’t text him.  He did not receive her text that night or the night after. He gets confused.  He doesn’t know if he misses her text or he is still angry.  He decides on the latter.  He should still be upset with her. The next day he went on a TV show.  When asked to send a video message to her, he said he would stop pursuing her because it’s getting too hard.

Jihyo heard that on TV. She wanted to see his mood so she watched. She did not expect those words. Tears rolled down her eyes. She loves him. Suddenly she felt so empty inside.  She felt her heart constricting. She broke down.

She woke up with red puffy eyes. She cried herself to sleep.  She was frustrated by how immature Gary handled it.  She went to her drama filming the next day, keeping herself busy to distract her from thinking about him. Dongwook had been a great support.  She had to tell him when he keeps talking about Gary.

……..

Last week’s Running Man Filming was done professionally. She didn’t want to get personal anymore. She treated Gary as if it is her job to be his Monday Girlfriend.  Gary was surprised by her change.  She stopped texting him. They have not been in touch for a week. 

Almost 2 weeks and she had not texted. Gary called up Dongwook.  He pretended not to know anything. But he hinted that he should talk it out and clear things up if there is problem. He purposely told Gary he’s been having dinner with jihyo every night after filming and hopes it does not upset him.  He was not upset.  He was jealous.

At the filming of Running  Man, he tried to approach her. She was greeting him like a normal coworker would. He felt the cold.  He wanted to talk to her.  He made the PD teamed them up together.  She was lashing it out on him about how he had treated her in the past. He let it go.  He knows he had done worse to her. He let her have her say to let it out of her system.  After filming, she refused to talk to him. She went straight to her drama set.

He texted her that night. “Can we talk?” She ignored it. He texted everyday asking to talk to her until Friday.  She ignored all of them. Saturday, she didn’t receive any text. Sunday, no text.  So it took him 5 days to give up. Monday 5 am. She had just woken up and saw a text notification.

“I am very sorry for what I had done.  I know I have been immature.  I know I have hurt you.  I know you hate me now. But I love you… I love you so much that I could not control it.  I love you so much that I think it impossible for you to love me as much.  I miss you. Please talk to me. I need you.”

Her tears rolling down her cheeks.  She could not stop loving him.  She wanted that text. She had been waiting for that text for weeks.  She wanted him and all his corny lines.  She forgave him instantly. But she didn’t want to reply.  She will see him in a few hours. She wanted to see how he would talk to her. She is still upset that he let it go on for weeks.

Gary saw Jihyo coming in with her assistants.  She avoided him. Gary missed her so much even seeing her there had made him happy. He wanted to be near her. But they were separated into different teams. The moment he got to go against her in the towel wrestling game, he was so happy it was apparent on his face. Jiyo saw that. He started making jokes. He wanted to see her laugh again.  She did although she tried not to. He was being playful with her.  He didn’t want to win. He just want to drag time so he can stay close to her longer. He saw her mood lighten up. He pretended to lose his step when she started pulling and fell down.  He let her win. He is happy to fall he even said she was great because she defeated him, the martial art expert. He showed that he was amazed by her. He wanted her to know he doesn’t mind losing to her.

They had a break before the next game.  They have 2 hours before the next location will be ready so they were given a one hour break.  Jihyo and the female guest were given a room to rest in. She went straight to her room while the guest mingled.  Gary saw her and went to the female guest to whisper to her to not go in the room because he need to settle things with Jihyo.  He told her his problem when they came to the set together this morning.  He even asked her to help him out if there is a chance.  They have been good friends for years. She knows he wouldn’t ask for help unless he really needs it. He’s been helping her out a lot. She would do this for him.

Gary headed straight to the room in the quieter part of the building. He knocked and Jihyo expecting HyunKyung, call for her to come in. He went in and locked the door. Jihyo was looking at her phone on the bed. “Did you read my text this morning?” She was shocked to hear a male’s voice. “What are you doing here?? Get out!” she tried not to shout so loud.nShe was already on her feet ready to leave because he didn’t show any sign of leaving. He held on to her right arm and she was pulling it out of his grip. “Jihyo, please…” he was begging her. “You’re hurting me, let me go” He realized he held on too tight and let go.  Before she can move, he hugged her. She was pushing him away but he held on. “Jihyo please don’t do this… please…” She stopped struggling. “Fine… release me and I will stand here and listen to what you have to say.  Make it quick.” She was giving him the cold treatment.

“I am really sorry… I know I don’t deserve you after all that… I know you’re upset… I just want to try and get you back… I miss you…” She glared at him. “It took you all these weeks to miss me?? You told the whole world you’re not going to pursue me anymore. So just stop it now. You were mean. You didn’t even look at me when I tried. I doubt you love me!” She pushed him on the chest and went backward. He took a step forward to resume his previous position. He looked at her in silence.  Waiting for her to say more.  He wanted her to get it all out.  It amazes him how she did not cry when he had tears in his eyes. “You asked me a question. ONE question! You didn’t even give me enough time to answer.  You walked away.  I have never been with a jerk in my whole life. You’re the most impossible man!” She is out of words. She is tired. She sat on the bed bending down.

He slowly walked to her and kneel in front of her so he is level with her. He lifted her head and looked into her eyes. She saw tears in his eyes. “I am sorry” he leaned up and kissed her forehead.  For a man who writes and raps long winding words, he did not have much to say. She miss being close to him. She did not respond to him.  He thought it better to leave her to cool first and got up on his foot, turning to walk away.

“What do I do with you??” She was angry at herself.  He turned to look at her crying.  He pulled her up and bring her into his embrace. His hand the back of her head and the other hand holding her tight to him.  She was sobbing tears soaking his left shoulder. Her hands flat on his chest. He repeatedly say “I’m sorry” that it started to sound like one of his songs. He moved away from her far enough to see her face in his hands. He kissed her, making up for the past weeks. When he stopped, both were breathless. “I miss you” he whispered on her lips. Kiss. “I love you” he whispered again accompanied by a lingering kiss. “Please come back to me” he begged wiping away her tears. She had stopped crying.  He looked at her for an answer. “Why is it so hard??” she was asking herself out loud. “I know it’s hard for you to stay with me. I will make it better.  I promise I’ll try…” he was begging again. “Why is it so hard to stop loving you,” this time she finished her sentence. That got her a long passionate kiss.

“Can we talk later? I promise I will not walk away.” He whispered so softly her heart melts.  She nodded. He suddenly pulled her into a hug “Damn! I miss you so much!” She smiled and hugged him. He pulled her to the bathroom and wet a face towel to wipe her face.  Her tears are dried up on her skin and her eyes are a little puffy. She smiled looking at him so focused in making her look good. “It’s ok oppa, I’ll put on some make up to cover it” He is relieved that she has her way. He watched her reflection on the mirror while she does her make up.  Falling even more in love with her.

“I have never met a woman so kind and beautiful” their eyes met in the mirror.  She smiled at his praise. “And I have never met a man so stubborn and mean” His smiling face turned apologetic. “I am sorry”.

She had finished with makeup. She turned to face him. Cupped his face in her hands. “… and yet I can still love despite all that” This time she initiated the kiss.

…………

When filming ended, he walked up to Jihyo taking her bag from her assistant. “I’ll send you home ok” he said romantically. “Where’s HyunKyung?  Didn’t she come with you?” she looked around for her. “HaHa is dropping her off.  I wanted to be alone with you so we can talk. Let’s go” He held her hand walking out of the building to the car. Jaesuk saw them. “Gary ya… if you hurt my sister again, I am not going to let it go” He warned him playfully.

He took her to a secluded spot near the Han river. It was already late on a Monday night. It was quiet. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to walk outside.  Let’s just sit in here”.  She held him back when he was getting out of the car.  He understands. She cannot be caught dating.

“Let me start…”  he started. She focused her attention on him. “That night… I asked you that question because my father told me something when we were on the trip” She did not expect it had anything to do with his father. She was surprised. “He told me that mom is worried that no one will take care of me if she dies… I told him I was scared…” he stopped. She nodded so he carried on. “He said, with the last one, I took too long.  I didn’t give her a reason to stay.”  She also did not expect him to bring up his ex. “He said I should give you a reason to stay around…” he hesitated but continued. “I wanted so much to give you that reason. But I was afraid it may also be the reason you’ll leave.  That night I was taking a risk.  I know you didn’t want us to move too fast because of your contract. But I decided that I should know if you are willing to stay. I want some certainty that we are headed somewhere. I was afraid that I might lose you. I asked with the hope that you’d give me an answer or at least an excuse to convince me”. It dawned on her that he was feeling insecure.  His past made him that way. “But when I gathered the courage to ask… You went blank on me. As if you never expected to move forward with me. My heart breaks seeing you like that. And I was immature.  I shut out the moment I feel insecure.  I was afraid because I love you so much. I am sorry”.  He finished explaining. She reached for his hand and he looked at her.

“Honestly, I did not expect you to ask me that question.  We agreed to take it slow and I thought it was too soon, so I never thought about it.  That was the first time I think about it.  I was trying to arrange my thoughts.  I didn’t notice I took too long and you’ve made your own conclusion.”  She explained calmly. “But knowing you, I know I should let you cool before I talk to you.  I didn’t know it’d take a few weeks for you to cool down.  The last time I responded to you when you’re like that, we broke up”.  He realized she was afraid he would do the same thing all over again and he knows he would have repeated that scene all over again it if she hadn’t let him cool.  “I’m sorry” the two words are like a mantra to him.

“Didn’t you see how I was holding back tears while filming those 2 days?  Why were you so mean?”  She wanted to know. “I was angry.. I had to blame it on someone.  You were convenient. I am sorry.”  He wanted her to know he had no excuse for what he did. “I wanted to explain to you… I wanted to answer your question.  I was not ready but I am willing to… but what you did, it’s like you ripping me into pieces.” listening to her make him feel more undeserving of her. “Then you broke up with me on TV… I cried myself to sleep that night.”  He grabbed her and bring her in for a hug. He wished he could take the pain away. “I am sorry”

“It’s alright now, oppa… but please don’t do that to me again. I am not that strong” she hugged him. He was out of words.  “Let’s go home oppa. I want to stay with you tonight”

…..

“Jihyo… baby, wake up.  You’ll be late for your drama shoot.”

“You expect me to wake up with that soft voice?” she giggled.  She was already up when he sat on the bed. He is happy to see her smiling happily in his bed. “I wish I can see this smile every morning” He cupped her face.  She sits up. “My schedule is postponed until this evening.  So I don’t have to go now”.  She got out of bed to go to the bathroom.  “I think I want to design my new walk-in closet in the next room today” He went up to her and hugged her from behind. “Are you serious?” He wanted to be certain. She turned to hug him properly. “unless you don’t want to give me the room…”

“take whichever room you want… do anything… you can paint the whole house pink if you want… just stay here with me.”  And he loves that joyful laughter of hers filling up the room.