13 January 2014

For being so close to the start of the second semester, Kibum had hoped it would be peaceful. Instead, he returned to his dorm room after dinner to be hit with a sense of déjà vu. Curled up on his bed with Ryeowook was Henry. Why both of them were using Kibum’s bed, he had no idea.

“What happened with G-Dragon?” he sighed, kicking the door shut and ing his coat.

Henry glared at his own knees, eyes red rimmed. Ryeowook gently rubbed the boy’s backside, shooting Kibum a distressed look. Both he and Ryeowook had returned earlier to get settled back into their routines, and this latest surprise was not helping. Then again, whatever Henry was going through must’ve been just as hard. As his only family member in Korea, Kibum understood fully how important it was to take care of him.

“He hasn’t told me anything since arriving,” Ryeowook admitted quietly.

Kibum sat down on Henry’s other side, tugging the boy out of his curled position. “If you’re not going to tell me what’s wrong, then we can’t make anything better.” Silence. Sighing, he began prodding him with questions. “Was it a communication problem? Or is it a work-related problem again? Are you unhappy living with him?”

“…no.”

“Did he say something that made you upset?”

Henry shook his head.

“Did he do something?”

Henry flinched.

Oh. Kibum tensed. This wasn’t what he had anticipated. Of course, it was a big deal when Henry pulled a disappearing act on Jiyoung, but was it really okay this time? Wasn’t his reaction a little too strong to that question? Did that mean something physical had happened? Kibum swallowed the dread creeping up. “Henry, you have to talk to me. Is this serious?”

“In…what way?” he mumbled, clenching his fists.

“Did he…,” Kibum paused, searching for the right word. “Did he hit you?”

Henry blinked. “Oh, no, no. He’s never hit me and he didn’t hit me this time,” he quickly dismissed. Growing awkward again, he dropped his gaze, fidgeting. “We had a fight. Sort of. I…I just didn’t want to go back tonight. It’s not work related. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I’m your family,” Kibum reminded without missing a beat, “I don’t care about your work as much as I care about your personal well-being. You don’t frequently run away from G-Dragon. So, what happened to make you this uncomfortable?”

“I…I’ll be fine if you just give me some time. Can I stay the night? Please?” Henry evaded the question, turning pleading eyes to his cousin.

Ryeowook raised his voice, saying softly, “He can use my bed. I’m actually going to be sleeping over in Hyungsik’s room tonight. His audition is tomorrow, so he’s a bit nervous.”

Kibum nodded gratefully. “Okay. Then I’m going to call G-Dragon and tell him where you are. Alright, Henry?”

“He already knows. I told him before I left.”

Oh. So this wasn’t a runaway situation. Kibum nodded, pulling his younger cousin into a warm hug. “Hey, it’ll be fine. Whatever is going on won’t change your career path. Even if you can’t get along well with G-Dragon, you’re still going to be an amazing musician.”

Henry only nodded, seemingly distracted by his own thoughts. Just with a quick sweep of his features, Kibum couldn’t identify any physical markings that might indicate what happened. Then again, Henry was covered rather well since the winter was still in full swing. However, if the boy insisted on keeping tight-lipped about the incident, then Kibum had no way of finding out…unless he called G-Dragon and asked directly. That prospect was somewhat out of his league though. The man was powerful even beyond the entertainment world. He hardly wanted to rudely demand answers from someone who was his senior in all respects. It could be taken very offensively, and Kibum had his own future to worry about as well. Being an actor wasn’t too far out of the realm of idol entertainers.

“Do you want to take a shower?” Ryeowook nudged the boy gently. “It’s warm and it’ll definitely make you feel better. I have some pajamas that should fit you as well.” He stood up, rummaging around in a drawer, before pulling out a set of fleece nightwear.

Henry cracked a smile at that. “Thank you, Ryeowook-hyung…Kibum-hyung. I’m sorry for doing this again. I just…yeah. I needed some time away to think.” He scrubbed at his face, frowning softly. What am I doing?

“Okay, I understand,” Kibum ruffled his cousin’s hair, still looking far from comfortable with the state of things. He glanced over at Ryeowook who was beginning to collect a few items into his backpack. “By the way, I haven’t been able to ask you yet, but how has your training been going, Ryeowook?”

At that, Henry stifled a laugh, but waved away Kibum’s confusion. “Hyung should tell you.”

Ryeowook glared, neck turning red. “It’s fine. I’ve just had a few…mishaps.”

His roommate raised a brow.

Henry grinned, leaning over Kibum’s shoulder. “Ryeowook-hyung and Kyu-hyung are really similar. They both keep getting in trouble for being bad dancers. Our instructor has been making them attend extra private lessons to catch them up.”

“Why is that embarrassing?” Kibum smiled innocently. “You’re not a dancer, right? You’re a singer and you’re handsome, so...isn’t that enough?”

Ryeowook just turned redder, mumbling under his breath. When Kibum asked him to repeat, Ryeowook just covered his face, clearly mortified.

At this point, Henry wasn’t able to hold it anymore, laughing out loud. “Sorry, Ryeowook-hyung,” he hugged Kibum, still not able to stop his giggles. “They’re trying to decide on an image for Ryeowook, so they know what to focus on during training. A lot of the designers keep pushing for a cutesy image, but…” he glanced at Ryeowook who appeared to be fuming.

“What’s wrong with that? You are cute,” Kibum chuckled.

“They aren’t making Kyuhyun do a cutesy image and he’s younger than me! It’s not fair!” he suddenly blurted, huffing. “I want to be taken seriously as a singer. Being cute will just distract from my voice.”

Ah…I see now. “So you think because Kyuhyun gets a more serious image, he’ll have a more respectable debut?” Kibum guessed.

Ryeowook’s glower was answer enough.

“C’mon, it’s okay! I have a pretty cute image too,” Henry offered, grinning.

“But you also have cooler choreography and pop songs that are suitable to a cute image,” Ryeowook grouched, “I’m suited for ballads and they won’t respect a cute ballad singer that’s male, too.” He sighed, grabbing his phone and shrugging his outerwear on. The bookbag came last. “Whatever, I have to go now. I’ll talk to you both later. Henry, if you need anything, I’ll be on campus.”

Henry nodded earnestly. “Thanks again! I’ll try to convince Jiyoung-hyung to reconsider your image!” The accompanying smirk didn’t give Ryeowook confidence.

Sighing heavily, the older man walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind him.

The walk to Hyungsik’s dormitory was refreshing, if not chilly. St. Angela’s had only three dorm buildings for freshmen—Sapphire (all boys’), Miracle (co-ed), and Happiness (all girls’)—but they were scattered to the three corners of the campus. To be expected, the co-ed building was newer and therefore nicer. Ryeowook had originally been contemplating that one, but knew better than to push his luck and funds. Paying for the cheaper all boys’ dorm would help him in the long run.

The sidewalks were winding and iced over in places, but the light snowfall and warm floodlamps kept the cold mostly at bay. Furthermore, Ryeowook’s heated face had finally cooled down by the time he reached the lobby of the Miracle Dorm. He unwrapped his scarf, smiling at the sight of Hyungsik coming out of the elevators. The latter looked up from his phone, brightening immediately at the sight of Ryeowook. “Hey! Thanks for coming,” he hurried over, wrapping his arms around the smaller man.

“No problem. You must be worried about tomorrow,” Ryeowook returned the hug, happy for the warmth. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Hyungsik seemed to consider for a moment, before flushing. “Uh, no…nothing.”

“Really?” Ryeowook narrowed his eyes, having clearly caught on to the other’s hesitation. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. I can give shoulder and foot massages. I’m also very good at listening to and watching performances so if you need another opinion, I’m available.”

The boyfriend shook his head, turning redder. “It’s nothing like that. My roommate was just being…weird and said some things.” Releasing Ryeowook, he took hold of his hand and led them toward the elevators.

Not wanting to push the topic any further, Ryeowook quietly nodded and changed the subject as they entered the lift. “So why did you decide to change dormitories? Were you and your roommate not getting along before?” He watched Hyungsik press the correct floor, sleek metal doors sliding shut.  

“No, no, he was fine,” he assured, “it’s just the people I’m auditioning with all live in this dormitory so they thought it’d be easier to arrange schedules and meet up if we could just go down the hall to see one another. I wanted to switch dormitories midway through last term, but they couldn’t find a suitable room for me until this term.” Hyungsik smiled teasingly, “I’m sorry. I know that you liked being just one floor away from me.”

Ryeowook laughed, lightly punching the taller man’s shoulder. “I’m fine without you, got it? But wow, this building really is nice. You’re lucky to be living here.”

The elevator doors slid open, revealing a newly furnished lounge. Students were chatting and playing video games, looking as carefree as anyone could be. They were probably cherishing these days before the term began. Ryeowook followed Hyungsik down a hallway, eyes absorbing the freshly painted walls and key card panels built into every door.

“You’re always welcome to come see me, you know,” Hyungsik reminded, stopping at the end of the hall and pulling out his room card. “I don’t have a roommate yet. They said he’ll be arriving on the first day.”

“That’s good,” Ryeowook remarked, “that means one less factor to possibly stress you out before the big day.” He hung up his coat immediately and dropped his bookbag on the floor near the desk. Smiling up at Hyungsik, he noted the man’s somewhat exhausted posture. Expression dimming, Ryeowook pushed his lover to the bed, sitting him down and rubbing his shoulders gently. “Hey…it’s going to be okay tomorrow. You and your team have been practicing a lot. You wouldn’t have been offered an audition in the first place if they weren’t interested in you.”

Hyungsik offered a slightly strained smile, reaching forward to rest his hands on Ryeowook’s waist. Tugging Ryeowook forward slightly, he pressed his head against the slender man’s stomach. “I still have to impress them tomorrow though. It’s a pretty scary situation and I’m glad that you understand the pressure of being a trainee. Has it been hard?” His fingers absently massaged the soft lines of Ryeowook’s sides, traveling lower and lower until warm fingertips seared against his hips.

“Uh,” Ryeowook blinked, trying to focus his thoughts despite the seemingly innocent ministrations. “I…It’s been hard sometimes,” he admitted, “but it’s not the kind of difficult situation where I want to quit. I love what I’m learning and I hate making mistakes, but failure is a part of training. Plus, I have Kyuhyun there with me every step of the way. I don’t feel as alone when I have someone to share the hard times with, you know?” Ryeowook smiled a bit, Hyungsik’s hair.

The latter lifted his head, something clouding his expression again. “Kyuhyun has the exact same training schedule as you?”

“For the most part,” Ryeowook responded, thinking, “I mean, we have individual vocal lessons, but that’s to be expected. He and I have been in trouble recently for our poor dancing, though. They assigned us extra practices, so we do see each other a lot.”

“I can always help you practice.”

Ryeowook chuckled. “That’s really sweet. I’ll take you up on that offer if I get really frustrated.”

Hyungsik’s fingers tightened around his hips. “You don’t have to wait until then. …I can help you anytime. Really.”

He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Don’t try to avoid your own responsibilities. You’ll be very busy once your training begins. You’re already busy with this audition. There’s no time for you to be getting that involved with trying to fix my problems. Besides, I’ll persevere,” Ryeowook grinned as confidently as he could. Of course he wasn’t so self-assured, but right now, it seemed like Hyungsik didn’t need to know that.

“…Has Kyuhyun done anything weird to you recently?”

Ryeowook paused. Where did that come from? “I…What do you mean?”

“Has he said or done anything that makes you uncomfortable?” Hyungsik rephrased, eyes lowered to the ground in consternation.

“Where is this coming from? But no, he hasn’t made me feel uncomfortable. Did he say something to you?” Ryeowook frowned. “He can be kind of sharp tongued sometimes, so I’ll scold him if he picked on you.”

Hyungsik chuckled softly, sounding humorless. Suddenly pulling hard on Ryeowook, the latter stumbled forward, falling into his lap. They were chest to chest, Hyungsik’s hands making their way under Ryeowook’s shirt. Fingertips traced the delicate curve of his spine, sending shivers racing down his back. “He hasn’t tried anything like this?” Hyungsik murmured, lips hovering close to Ryeowook’s ear.

“N-No,” he stuttered, eyes wide.

“Hmm…”

“Did he say something to you?” Ryeowook leaned back slightly, trying to catch the other’s expression.

Hyungsik seemed to debate for a long time before resigning himself. “No, it’s nothing to worry about. I think I’m just stressed and maybe a little…jealous that Kyuhyun gets to spend time with you.” He smiled tiredly.

It was obvious that wasn’t the extent of it, but Ryeowook could also tell when prying might not be the best option. Looking at Hyungsik now, he didn’t want to add anything more on the man’s plate. It was clear that he had this audition to worry about, among other things, and pressuring him into talking about this…thing, wasn’t a good idea. Besides, based on his behavior, he seemed to be telling part of the truth.

So Hyungsik saw Kyuhyun as a threat?

Ryeowook grimaced at the thought. It was true that he and Kyuhyun were quite close these days, and even last term, they had been developing a relationship without realizing it—but those things weren’t a recipe for love, necessarily. Ryeowook had heard a lot about Kyuhyun’s previous romantic escapades and being just friends sounded like a much safer route. As friends, he could still admire his musical sense and handsome face. There was no reason to pursue something further.

“I see,” Ryeowook finally said. “I’ll try not to make you worry too much, but I’m really not interested in Kyuhyun like that. He’s a good friend and fellow trainee, but I don’t know if I would be happy with him as a boyfriend.” He laughed a little, noting Hyungsik’s confusion. Clearing his throat, he explained, “I’ve heard that Kyuhyun is sort of notorious for being a flirt, so if he gave you any indication that there was something going on between us, then he’s just playing around. There’s no need to take any of it seriously.”

Hyungsik wasn’t sure if he ought to be relieved or even more worried now. If an earnest man had extended that challenge the other day, Hyungsik wouldn’t feel as bad should things go sour with Ryeowook. Now though, if it was a loose man trying to interfere, he had to be on guard. Ryeowook was a sensitive soul, and romantic to boot. Even if he didn’t see Kyuhyun as a potential lover right now, time might change those perceptions.

“Ah, I see,” Hyungsik muttered. “Well, if he makes you feel uneasy ever, tell me. I don’t want you to be stressing over anything other than your training. Getting caught up in someone else’s pace can be really exhausting.”

“Thanks,” Ryeowook chuckled, “but same goes to you. Don’t spend too much time worrying about me or other people. You’re going to be caught up in a lot more work really soon.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “You have way too much confidence in me. I don’t think I’m nearly as confident in a successful audition as you are.”

“You’re handsome, you dance well, you’re appealing, and your teammates are all just as charismatic,” he rattled off, grinning. “It’s going to be fine.”

Even though Hyungsik wasn’t sure if he believed those words whole heartedly, but it was comforting enough that someone else believed them. Hugging Ryeowook close, he murmured a gentle word of thanks.