18 September 2013

Kibum slowly pushed the bathroom door to his RA’s room open. He figured Ryeowook was still there if he wasn’t in the room. His eyes fell on the pair immediately, seeing them sitting side-by-side on the bed, hands clasped together and soft voices mumbling to one another where their heads rested close together. Kibum smiled faintly, and silently shut the door.

Turning around, he found Henry waiting awkwardly outside of the bathroom connecting the two rooms. “Go ahead and take a shower. You too, Kyuhyun,” he added, walking back into his room to see the equally dirtied male shuffling around uncomfortably in the entry way of the dorm room.

“He can go first,” Kyuhyun muttered, nodding at Henry. Eunhyuk was sitting in Ryeowook’s chair, waiting rather impatiently for an explanation. Donghae occupied Kibum’s bed, toying with his phone anxiously.

Kibum passed his cousin a set of pajamas, telling him how to operate the shower before shutting the door with a heavy sigh. “Alright, can someone start talking?”

 Kyuhyun cleared his throat, standing on a small square floor towel so he didn’t make a puddle. “Uhm, it’s not really a spectacular story. I kind of did it on a whim.”

“Did what?” Eunhyuk prompted, arching an eyebrow.

“Okay, so I was actually headed to a rave,” he admitted, “but on the way, I saw Henry and you know SME has his face plastered all over the bulletin boards because of G-Dragon and stuff. I wasn’t actually going to talk to him, but I saw him struggling with directions and he was speaking really broken Korean. It seemed like he was really lost.” Kyuhyun rubbed his hands into the towel he was holding. His brows were furrowed. “Anyway, when I approached him, I spoke Mandarin and he suddenly started bawling and wouldn’t let go of me. I felt like a lifeboat or something.”

“Anyway, he asked me how to get to St. Angela’s College, and I remembered something that my hyung told me. I decided that maybe I shouldn’t go to the rave tonight because I’d probably end up doing something stupid.” Kyuhyun smiled a bit, as if he were proud about that fact, “well then I thought maybe I could surprise visit you,” he look at Eunhyuk, “and to add onto all of that, I had a strong feeling that Henry was going to get lost again if I left him alone.”

They were quiet for a second. “So…you were being a good person…sort of?” Eunhyuk stated slowly. He stared at his friend, still trying to grasp the current situation for what it was. The last thing he had expected was to see Kyuhyun standing in front of him in the middle of a random school week.

“That still doesn’t explain the mess,” Donghae eyed the younger male, indicating the soaked appearance.

Kyuhyun looked down sheepishly. “Henry wasn’t watching where he was going and tripped into a flooded construction hole. I tried to catch him, but he fell in anyway, pulling me in after him. I think that happened like…right before we got to St. Angela’s. Or actually, it might’ve been one of the construction zones on your campus.” He shook his head. “It’s really dark and we took a weird path up to the school.”

Everyone stared.

“What?” Kyuhyun demanded defensively, flushing.

“I’ve just never heard of something so stupid,” Kibum shook his head.

“Agreed,” Donghae muttered.

Eunhyuk simply shook his head. He had no idea what sort of person Kyuhyun had been influenced by, but he had to thank the person. If it was keeping his best friend away from hot spots of mistakes, then by all means, he hoped that friend, or hyung, stuck around. “You made a pretty spontaneous trip.”

He shrugged. “Don’t have class tomorrow anyway.” Besides, he had been mulling over Heechul’s words. Although he wasn’t ready to give up Sungmin, he also had come to terms with the fact that his love for the man was limited. There was a cap on their affair and that limit was being reached quicker and quicker by the day. However, Kyuhyun had no idea what he would do after that. He had spent nearly every day of summer with Sungmin. What was he going to do if he wasn’t in a relationship?

Letting go of security was a lot harder than people made it out to be. Breaking up with someone was an ordeal not easily done.

The bathroom door clicked open ten minutes later, steam rolling out with a freshly cleaned Henry. He immediately beamed at Kyuhyun, looking as if he really wanted to hug the male. On the other end, Kyuhyun was smiling faintly, restrained by affectionate. They had spent a good amount of time together that night, including a lengthy train ride that involved a lot of chatting and venting on Henry’s side. The kid could definitely talk, plus, what he talked about was interesting.

Who would’ve thought G-Dragon had so many bad household habits? Apparently, Henry had all the knowledge and was innocent enough to not know that saying all of those things wasn’t good. Then again, by the sound of Henry’s speech, Kyuhyun could deduce the stress levels of the eighteen-year-old. What was it like to have SME and the G-Dragon rooting for you and cultivating you?

Moreover, what was it like to live with G-Dragon? Oh wait, never mind, Henry had already told him all of the juicy gossip on South Korea’s favorite idol.

“It’s all yours,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” Kyuhyun nodded, walking into the bathroom with his own set of borrowed pajamas. He shut the door and slumped, resting against the countertop. Whatever he was doing didn’t seem wrong, but it also didn’t feel responsible. Running away from problems usually wasn’t the solution, but this one time it seemed like running away actually resulted in something good, that is, seeing his best friend.

Just as he stepped into the shower, there was a faint knocking at the door. Frowning, he stayed silent until he heard the door open softly and a light and hurried, murmuring voice say, “Hey Kibum, I’m sleeping over in Jongwoon’s room. Good night!”

The person was gone before Kyuhyun could even respond.

***

Henry curled up beside Kibum. His knees were pulled up, head resting on his cousin’s shoulder. The boy’s eyes were drooping, a yawn tumbling from his mouth. “What time is it?” he mumbled.

“It’s almost one,” Kibum responded, “you can go to sleep if you want. It’s okay.”

“No, I need to stay awake a little longer,” he grouched, grabbing his phone and checking it. The redness of his eyes contradicted whatever persistence Henry displayed.

“What’s so important?” Donghae inquired.

Henry set the phone down again. “Jiyoung-hyung finishes his schedule at one,” he yawned, “and I want to call him to tell him I ran away from home so he doesn’t get worried.”

“You didn’t tell him?” Kibum’s voice sharpened.

The younger male shook his head, blushing slightly. “I was panicking,” he explained softly, “I felt constricted and I needed to get away. Since I didn’t want to leave him a message, I decided to just wait and call him when he was done working. At least he can’t be as mad at me now.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s still going to be fuming,” Eunhyuk remarked wryly.

The bathroom door clicked open and Kyuhyun stepped out, still drying his hair with a towel. His eyes traveled around the room until they landed on Kibum. “Your roommate said he’s staying over in Jongwoon’s room tonight.”

“Oh thanks,” he nodded. “If that’s the case, you can use his bed tonight, Kyuhyun. I’m sure he won’t mind at all, especially since you just showered too. That means you have to be clean.” Kibum grinned teasingly.

Snorting, the SME student shuffled over, sitting down on Ryeowook’s bed. He blinked, surprised to feel it lacking much padding. “This bed is pretty hard.”

“Ah, I think he mentioned not wanting to waste money on extra padding,” Kibum explained, “but if it’s too hard to sleep on, we can switch.”

“No it’s fine. I like it,” Kyuhyun shook his head, carefully leaning back against the wall, muscles relaxed after that shower. The sheets and soft blankets ran over his legs, making him all the more comfortable. His own bed at college was hard, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Besides, he didn’t want to push his luck. This person, Kibum, was already being so nice.

Eunhyuk nodded to the door. “I’m heading back to my apartment later. You can come too, Kyu, if you want.”

The immediate distress on Henry’s face was answer enough. Smiling slightly, Kyuhyun shook his head. “I’ll just stay here tonight. No big deal. Besides, I’m pretty sure we’re just gonna leave in the morning,” he nodded at the younger male who seemed to settle down.

The four of them fell silent, absorbed in their own thoughts, or in Kyuhyun’s case, absorbed in what they had been talking about prior to the end of his shower. Was it so interesting that all of them were now in a state of distraction? That only increased his interest. However, seeing as how many of them didn’t seem willing to talk, he could easily figure out that they must’ve been talking about Henry’s reason for running away from G-Dragon’s home, or well, something along those lines.

Kyuhyun had heard most of that story on the train.

Suddenly, Henry jumped to his feet, phone in hand. “I’ll be back.” And then he darted out the door.

They watched the door close softly. Donghae let out a long breath, slumping against Kibum’s pillows. He looked around at the other three people in the room. “Sorry, I’m just a little tired. I can’t believe your cousin ran away because he was stressed,” he muttered, hugging a white, ball-shaped stuffed animal. “Is it that bad? I mean, it’s his dream, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know if it is,” Kibum replied absently, fiddling with the edge of his blanket. “I really pushed for him to come here and become an idol, but he’s also good at many other things. He’s really amazing and his ability to pick up new skills is unheard of. Honestly, I’ve never seen Henry this torn. Normally, he’s very easy-going. It must be terrible then.” He rested his head on his knees.

Eunhyuk nudged Kyuhyun. “You go to that school. Tell us about it.”

“Well,” he pursed his lips, leaning his head back, “I mean, it is stressful for some people, but that’s probably not why Henry is like that. He told you that he hasn’t left G-Dragon’s home, right?” Kyuhyun met blank faces. He smiled wryly. Perhaps they hadn’t been talking much about Henry’s situation after all. “Okay, so Henry hasn’t been outside in a while. He’s been writing lyrics for weeks now and today, G-Dragon looked them over and pretty much told him they all and he isn’t trying hard enough.”

Kibum’s eyes widened. “Of course they wouldn’t be perfect on the first run! He’s never written lyrics!”

Kyuhyun held up his hands. “I didn’t say it.”

“Sorry, that wasn’t aimed at you,” he dismissed quickly, “I’m just…pissed.”

Eunhyuk shuffled his feet, looking around awkwardly. He and Donghae exchanged a look, laughing under their breaths.  There was nothing funny about the situation, but sometimes people didn’t laugh because it was funny. Rather, the atmosphere was terrible.

***

Henry sat in the side stairwell, facing the large glass window. Beyond it, he studied the darkened buildings of brick and stone cast in the gold of lamps. He rather liked it. It felt ornate and mysterious and warm all at once. Of course, the building was creepy, but the school was very nice. The size was nothing impressive, but Jiyoung had told him about the facilities and Kibum had mentioned time and again how good they were in music composition – or at least, they used to be.

What if I went here instead? He mused silently as the dial tone droned on.

“Henry?” Jiyoung’s low, soft timbre spoke through the static.

A part of him relaxed at the sound and another part of him wanted to cry. It was a strange feeling. He was relieved and guilty, excited and dreading. Jiyoung had no idea what was going on. Henry dropped his head between his legs, mumbling a greeting.

“Mm…what’s wrong?” the calm in his voice never left, did it?

“I’m sorry,” Henry breathed.

Silence. “Where are you?”

“St. Angela’s College.”

“Are you with your family?” Jiyoung sounded more strained, as if he was holding back. Henry nodded, but then realized the man probably couldn’t see it, so he muttered out an agreement. A heavy sigh reverberated through the phone line. “I’ll be there at 6AM.”

“What?” Henry sat up. “No, it’s okay. I can just take the train—”

“—I’m not risking you,” he cut him off, sharp and cold, “you’ve already put yourself in enough danger. I’m responsible for you.” Henry didn’t say anything. Jiyoung was quiet for a second, but then said, “You’re too important to the company. We can’t let you go wandering around whenever you please, especially when you can’t speak well. I’ll see you soon, Henry.” The line clicked off.  

He wanted to scream. Kick something. Compose something. Henry jumped to his feet, running back to Kibum’s room. The hallway was rather quiet – empty. His eyes locked onto the name card on his cousin’s room and he burst inside, jumping up and down.

“Paper and pen, paper and pen!” Henry was clapping his hands, eyes filled with urgency.

Kibum fumbled around, handing him a notebook and pen. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

The boy leaned over the desk, scribbling in a flurry, eyes and ears lost to whatever racket went on around him. Eunhyuk was smiling though. “He’s writing a song.”

“What? How would you know?” Donghae frowned.

He laughed. “Because that’s how Ryeowook looks when he’s writing music.”

“Ryeowook?” Kyuhyun cocked his head.

“Kibum’s roommate,” Eunhyuk lightly hit his friend’s leg, “You’re sleeping in his bed right now.” True to the statement, it seemed like Kyuhyun was sinking deeper and deeper into the bed, the blanket already pulled over him to ward off the coming chill of late September.

“Oh, Ryeowook?” he repeated, softer this time, breathing in a lungful of clean sheets and slightly sweet soap. “You know…I think I used his shampoo too,” Kyuhyun laughed and Eunhyuk hit him again.

Like a kitty in a cage
Like a puppy in a box on a plane
Like a driver I’m stuck in this lane
On this lane, yeah
I can’t seem to find a way
Like an employee on a minimum wage
Like a broken GPS can’t locate
 

Henry tapped the pen against paper, heart beating faster and faster. He was exploding with energy, both vengeful and pure. There was redemption in his eyes. No matter what, he wanted to prove himself. That was more important than anything else. G-Dragon hurt his pride as a musician and insulted him as a person. Or at least, that’s how Henry had taken it.

Deep down, he knew it was all for his sake and that was surely why he was writing away like the world would fall to ruin if he didn’t get those words out.

“So your roommate writes a lot of music?” Kyuhyun asked casually, peeking over the edge of Ryeowook’s blankets to see Kibum smiling softly at Henry.

Looking away from the younger, he glanced at Kyuhyun. “Ah, yes. He’s a music composition major actually. Lately, he’s been struggling with this one piece.”

“We’ve been telling him to try working on other things, but it seems like his heart is set on this one,” Eunhyuk yawned. “All he has is the chorus though. I think he mentioned something about wanting to submit it to St. Angela’s Annual Winter Concert.”

“Oh? When’s the deadline?” Kyuhyun inquired, snuggling deeper into the blankets, feeling more and more at ease the longer he stay huddled in the comfort of that bed.

“End of October,” Eunhyuk nodded.

“Can I see the lyrics? Would he mind?”

Kibum thought for a second, but then shrugged. Knowing his roommate and the problems he had been having, it probably wouldn’t hurt to let another set of eyes see the four-lines of lyrics. Getting up, Kibum walked over to Ryeowook’s backpack, pulling out the notebook he had been using to show them the words. Flipping it open to the bookmarked page, he handed it to Kyuhyun.

You are so very far, so very far

To be honest I miss you every day

Even the very small, very small trivial things

make me think of you every day

His heart beat a little faster, his tiredness slipped away just a little, and he knew then that there was something special in those words. It was odder that Eunhyuk and them hadn’t felt the power in the lyrics. They were more than just words on a page. Kyuhyun wondered if he was going crazy for thinking it, but…

Shaking his head, he reread the words once more, not saying a word as he handed it back to Kibum. The melody played in his mind, hazy and rough, but sweet and tinkling like a dream. Spring green and bright, bright yellow misted behind the lines sinking deeper into his mind. It was cooling and warm, but so very incomplete. Kyuhyun to his side, slipping an arm underneath Ryeowook’s pillow, pulling it closer around him.

“Night,” he called over his shoulder. Despite that, he was wide awake, listening to that song, no, the song, playing over and over again in his mind.