4 October 2013

Jiyoung sat in his living room. The evening had settled in just a few minutes ago, sun disappearing behind buildings that glowed brighter and brighter with their artificial fluorescence. He flipped through his fan letters, reading each of them before setting them aside in a shoebox already puffing up with folded notes. His gaze flitted down to where Henry sat on the floor, carefully cutting out something. Colorful paper surrounded him, all in different shapes and sizes.

“What are you doing?” he murmured mildly, raising an eyebrow when the boy looked up with a bright grin.

Henry shuffled around, picking up a few things before turning to show the older male. “They’re decorations!” He waved the paper pumpkin and witch’s hat. “Aren’t they cute? I thought we could put them up around the apartment.”

“And why would we do that?”

“Because it’s Halloween, duh,” he rolled his eyes. “We have to get spirited! It’s always so showy in this place. It would be nice to have some homey stuff!”

“Well we can just go buy some stuff. You don’t need to waste time making decoration,” Jiyoung dismissed, leaning forward, picking up a string of purple and black rings linked together.

Henry frowned. “No! Making them is fun. There’s no reason to spend money. C’mon, join me!” He scooped up the supplies, dropping them on the coffee table. Pushing the box of fan-mail aside, he sat down next to Jiyoung. “Look, make a pumpkin to start and we’ll see if you’re good enough to do more complicated things.”

“You’re underestimating me.”

“Well, with your attitude, I didn’t think you’d know how to make crafts,” he shrugged, eyes glinting teasingly.

Jiyoung fought a smile. Picking up a pair of scissors, he began cutting the orange paper. “This is child’s play. After we’re done here, I’ll show you how to make a scarecrow.”

“What?” Henry’s choked.

“Scarecrows, Henry,” he spoke in his soft voice, smirking faintly, “don’t tell me you don’t know?”

He flushed. “Of course I know!” Dropping his head, he went back to work on his black bat cut-out. It was a rare night of quiet relaxation. Although preparation for the album was still underway, they had secured a more concrete schedule which meant less nights staying up and trying to squeeze the last bit of creativity out of his brain. At the very least, he was being given the evenings off or the days off – no more double shifts of working.

Furthermore, Jiyoung was spending more time at home. It seemed like he was on a vacation of sorts. However, he didn’t say much to Henry about it. The younger male had a hunch something was going on with his caretaker, but he wasn’t positive. It was obvious that Jiyoung could come out with a new song anytime, but for some reason, he was delaying.

It couldn’t be from a lack of interest. Henry had woken up in the middle of the night plenty of times needing to relieve himself, only to find the light still on in Jiyoung’s bedroom. The sound of his humming would lull Henry right back into a state of sleepiness. Despite all of the man’s strange quirks, there was something amazing about him. His music sense was incomparable and Henry wouldn’t have settled for anyone less than him.

There was a sharp knock at the door then. Henry jolted out of his thoughts, getting up to answer it. Unlocking the door, he pulled it open, seeing Kyuhyun standing there.

“Are you here to get crafty?” Henry asked slowly, confused.

Jiyoung’s laugh could be heard coming closer. He leaned over Henry, holding the door open as he smiled slowly at Kyuhyun. “Cutting it close, aren’t you?”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I just couldn’t decide what to do. But I know now. I’m very sure that I want this.” Kyuhyun gazed back steadily at G-Dragon. He pushed a signed Academic Major Change Form in the musician’s face. “Please give this to the President for me.”

G-Dragon took it lazily, swinging an arm around Henry’s shoulders. “Will do. We’re making decorations. Wanna join?” He tilted his head, smiling as he waved a cut-out pumpkin around.

“I’ll pass,” Kyuhyun made a face, much to Henry’s chagrin. “I need to meet a friend right now, so I’ll see you later.” He waved at Henry and bowed to G-Dragon. With that, he jogged off, disappearing down the hall quickly.

“He seems flustered,” Henry remarked, brows drawing together in concern.

 “Really? He seems more put together than normal.” Jiyoung shut the door.

***

Ryeowook listened to the heavy thumping on his dorm room door. That was disconcerting. Frowning deeply, he stayed on his bed, going over the lyrics and musical score of his song again. It would definitely be ready for submission. However, what was bothering him more was the incessant banging at his door. Every now and then he heard giggling, so clearly it wasn’t a threat, but that didn’t help his nerves.

A normal knock broke through the mess of sluggish thuds. “Who is it?” Ryeowook called.

“Kibum. I forgot my keys and I brought over Hyungsik too,” he responded through the thin door.

Immediately, Ryeowook shot to his feet, scrambling to unlock it. “I’m sorry—” a shrill scream burst from him and he stumbled back, being tackled by a grotesquely masked duo. Ryeowook laughed and screamed at the same time, squirming under the fingers tickling him. “Stop! Stop! Please s-stop!” he gasped.

The pair backed off, grabbing Ryeowook’s ankles instead. They dragged him full speed toward the open door where Kibum was holding up his phone, recording the entire thing. A grin was stretching across his face. Ryeowook cried out, pulling at his shirt which struggled to ride up. “No wait!” he shouted, rolling and struggling despite the tight grips, “I’m seriously getting rug burn! Don’t pull me!” Ryeowook yelped, snatching the edge of a door, clinging to it desperately.

“You’re the sacrifice,” Donghae grunted behind his deformed mask, tugging on his friend harder.

“Yeah, Wook, stop being a stick in the mud,” Eunhyuk added, pushing his blood splattered plastic mask up. Sweat was forming on his forehead, cheeks red. “We’re trying to celebrate and you’re ruining all the fun!”

“It’s not even close to Halloween!” he retorted loudly.

“Whatever,” Eunhyuk scoffed, prying Ryeowook’s fingers off the door frame. He nodded at Donghae. “Pull, fast!”

The younger male choked on a yell, focusing on keeping his shirt down as they unceremoniously dragged him into the lounge. Ryeowook was panting as they let him up. Glaring at them, he opened his mouth to start yelling, but from the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a familiar face.

“Uhm, hi,” Hyungsik smiled uneasily.

Kibum knocked the back of Ryeowook’s head. “Told you I brought him over.”

He glowered at the smiling man. Anyone who fell for that sparkling grin was definitely a fool. Kim Kibum was no angel. He was a mischief-making brat. Taking a deep breath, Ryeowook dusted himself off and stood. “Hi,” he smiled at Hyungsik, “sorry, I swear I’m not normally like this.”

“Oh bull!” Eunhyuk hollered, “You’re always being picked on.” He swung an arm around the younger man’s shoulders, ruffling his hair. Pulling off the mask, Eunhyuk tugged it over Ryeowook’s head. “C’mon, we’re all gonna go terrorize the villagers.”

“What?” he managed, struggling in the head-lock. Looking up, he finally noticed that everyone was dressed in shades of black. Frowning, Ryeowook pushed away from Eunhyuk, standing upright. “What’s going on? Are we really going out right now?”

“Well not this second,” Donghae corrected, “we’re actually going to go after midnight when people are drunk and stumbling around.”

“Then why is everyone here?” Ryeowook eyed him warily.

“Scary movie night, obviously,” Kibum rolled his eyes playfully, slouching down on the couch. He pointed at the flat screen mounted to the wall. “It’s the first Friday of October! Our dorm floor plans to watch scary movies every weekend this month.”

“I’ll pass,” he started back to his room, only to feel two arms snake around him, lifting him up. Crying out, Ryeowook felt his feet leave the floor and his body slam unceremoniously down on the other couch. His head thumped against rough denim. Looking up, he saw Hyungsik peering down at him. Blushing brightly, Ryeowook fumbled to pull himself together. “S-Sorry! I didn’t mean to.”

The tall male just smiled, laughing quietly. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. My friends are pretty bad too.”

“They’re somehow still fun, I suppose,” Ryeowook sighed, touching the mask still sitting atop his head. Looking up at Hyungsik, he grinned. “It’s been awhile. How have you been?”

“In the past week?” his eyes glinted with humor. “Classes are the same as always. I’m actually going to be auditioning for Temptation of Wolves.”

“You too?” Ryeowook’s eyes widened. “That’s awesome! I’m auditioning this Tuesday for Jung Taesung.”

“Really? I want Haewon,” he laughed, “maybe we’ll be able to perform together.”

“If you two want to keep talking, go to a different room,” Eunhyuk interrupted, flicking the lights off as the film started.

Eerie music blared through the speakers and Ryeowook jumped. Hyungsik gave him a small smile. “Are you scared?”

“That’s a severe understatement. I’m really bad with horror movies,” he admitted, scooting closer to the taller boy without thinking. His fingers itched to latch onto something, preferably a pillow or a blanket. The chill from the open windows behind him sent shivers racing up the back of his neck. Abruptly, Ryeowook felt a fluffy blanket tossed at him. Pushing it aside, he saw Donghae wink at him before climbing under his own shared blanket with Kibum. A very aware part of Ryeowook blushed and internally drowned in embarrassment.

Hyungsik tugged the blanket over them, keeping his distance politely. “You don’t mind, right?” he tilted his head curiously.

Ryeowook shook his head, burying his face in the soft warmth, trying hard to ignore the heat of the person beside him.

***

“Hey, don’t come this weekend,” Kyuhyun spoke into his phone as he filled his backpack with clothes and toiletries.

“Why, what’s up?” Sungmin asked, sounding confused.

Kyuhyun put the phone in speaker, trying to figure out a way to fit everything he needed. “I’m going to visit Eunhyuk.”

Sitting on his bed was Heechul who had yet to stop his fervent texting. It had been going on for several hours already and Kyuhyun was beginning to wonder what was up with the older male. In fact, he had been acting pretty strange for the past two weeks or so. Heechul didn’t normally talk about his feelings too much. Most of the time when they met they just watched dramas and ate; but if they were stressed, a quick usually did the job. However, recently they hadn’t even been doing that. It was rather quiet with both of them sitting in the same room with the television on. Their minds caught in different places and their fingers speeding through mobile internet and messaging.

“Ah, tell him that I hope he’s doing well! Have fun, okay?”

“Will do,” Kyuhyun responded, “Love you. Bye.” For some reason, that was the moment Heechul decided to bolt upright. Surprised, the younger of the two looked up, his eyes widened, “Something wrong?”

“Love.”

“What?”

“Love. What does that mean to you?” Heechul stared at him, muscles tensed, expression drawn. He clenched his phone tightly. “That’s not a word to be thrown around. It’s not high school love. It’s something deeper than that. Love is powerful and painful. But what is it to you, Kyu?”

“Where did this come from?” he tried to laugh it off, heartbeats quickening at the demand. Even though he knew it should be Sungmin who appeared in his mind, it wasn’t. Instead, that melody found its way into his mind. The beat was strong and enticing, dragging him closer second by second. Kyuhyun still wondered if that song would be finished. When it was, would he be able to hear it?

Heechul leaned back against the wall, still tensed. “Just answer.”

He gazed at him for a long moment, hands pausing in their rolling of clothes. Shaking his head slowly, Kyuhyun shrugged and lowered his eyes to the backpack. “I don’t know. I guess love is about wanting someone more than anything else in the world – more than food and water, more than money and a house. True love is dying rather than watching the person you love die. And if you both really love each other, you would end up dying together because you couldn’t live without the other.”

The room was quiet.

Kyuhyun flushed. “At least say something!” He quickly started packing again, not wanting to let his words hang in the air any longer. It had come out in a flood of thoughts and feelings he hadn’t even been aware of.

“I’m leaving.”

“What?”

Heechul was watching him calmly, seriously. “That person is leaving SME and so will I. The person I’m in love with is going back to China to open up his own dance studio. I don’t want to be apart from him.” His voice was even and steady, eyes never leaving Kyuhyun’s. “I’m going to graduate early this winter and after that I’m moving to China. I already have connections over there, so I’ll manage.”

“Why…are you telling me all of this?” He spoke more softly than he originally thought, but it didn’t matter. Heechul had heard him just fine.

The smile that graced the senior’s lips was almost pitying, but mostly tender. He took one of Kyuhyun’s hands, pulling the younger male close. Heechul pressed a kiss to his cheek, lingering as he spoke, “Because this is the kind of love you just described.” Pulling back he released Kyuhyun’s fingers. “I once told you that if he accepted me, I would never touch another person. Well, he still hasn’t accepted me, but somehow I don’t want anyone else to be near me like that. If it isn’t him, it isn’t worth it. I hadn’t realized that until after he told me that he’s leaving. …Since then, I haven’t been able to think about anything else. That’s why I wanna know what you’re doing with your boyfriend.”

Heechul took Kyuhyun’s silence as encouragement to keep talking. “You didn’t choose the same college as him. You don’t mind being apart. You don’t mind sleeping with other people. It’s because there are so many things more important to you than Sungmin. Having a good education and supporting yourself in the future is prioritized over love. What kind of love is that, Kyu? You told me not five minutes ago what love means to you and I’m watching you fake a relationship for who knows what. Is being alone so bad? Is it worse than wasting these precious years running full force toward the person you actually love?”

“I don’t actually love anyone right now,” he blurted, pausing briefly before going on, “what am I running at? I don’t even know the destination.”

“Yes you do!” Heechul slammed his hand down on the bedspread. “You do know.”

“I don’t know who I’m supposed to be with. All I know is that Sungmin makes me happy. He’s a great friend and person. If we could just be that, I wouldn’t mind. But he doesn’t want to be just friends. He needs to be a lover and if that means I get to keep him, that’s fine!” Kyuhyun took a breath, not realizing how hard he was breathing. Swallowing, he dropped his gaze once more, carefully placing his clothes and necessities into the backpack again.

Heechul sighed, low and heavy. “You’ll never be with the right person if you cling to the wrong person. Instead of screwing around like this—”

“—Are you really one to preach?” he snapped, the very foundation of his thoughts shaking. “I can do whatever I want. It’s college. I’m not gonna ing sit around waiting for someone to come for me. I wanna have fun. That’s what college is all about.”

“It doesn’t have to be about that.” Heechul shook his head. “College can be anything you want it to be.”

“Please just stop. I’m tired.” Kyuhyun rubbed his head, zipping up his backpack and flopping down on the bed. Closing his eyes, he silently listened to Heechul get up. The older male was quiet in his departure, contrasting his explosive behavior mere moments ago. Kyuhyun was used to it though. If anyone knew how to rush in like a tornado and leave everything in disarray – it was definitely Kim Heechul.

One moment, he was lusting and wild. The next he was preaching about love and sincerity. It was a whirlwind of emotions that just didn’t bode well with Kyuhyun. He slowly opened his eyes as the door to his bedroom clicked shut.