24 December 2013

Alright. You can do this. It’s already been more than a week. Pull it together.

Henry sat in front of the large Christmas tree, eyes sweeping over the ornaments that twinkled and twirled, reflecting bits of tinsel here and there. The clock was just striking four in the morning and the apartment was perfectly silent.

Rolling onto his back, he stared up at the high ceiling. It was normal for him to be too excited to sleep during big holidays, but this time, it was for a slightly different reason. Of course he wasn’t extremely upset. How could he be when it was a perfectly natural thing? People wanted to be with loved ones during the holidays, not with their work projects.

He had just been slightly mistaken about their relationship. Somewhere inside, Henry had simply assumed that because Jiyoung house him, they were automatically more than just coworkers. No one else in South Korea was as close to him as Jiyoung, minus Kibum. Was it really so silly to think that maybe they would spend Christmas and Christmas Eve together like a family?

Covering his face, he swallowed the urge to think of their relationship as anything but family. How could he be that ridiculous? Henry bit down on his lip, suddenly understanding how millions of people had fallen for G-Dragon. It was so gradual and somewhere along the way, you realized how easy it is to feel more than admiration.

But it was just a crush – one he didn’t know existed until he saw his mentor shacking up with another super idol.

Henry frowned, logically reasoning his foolishness. There was no reason to be so hung up on something that only happened in his mind. Crushes were a common fact of life. They happened and eventually they stopped. Nodding to himself, he yawned and picked up the little blue box holding Jiyoung’s present. It was incredibly irresponsible to feel so infatuated with the person who was taking care of him and guiding him through his music career.

What if something did happen between them and then they had a falling out? They would never recover to be as they are now.

That’s why it was better to just choke on those feelings and force them down.

Henry sat up, looking around the empty apartment. Jiyoung had left late last night for a short vacation, leaving his little prodigy to attend production meetings and dance practices diligently until his return on the 27^th. On the other hand, Henry didn’t think that sounded very appealing at all.

Not when he knew his mentor was probably off having a blast with Choi Seunghyun aka TOP the renowned rapper.

“Jealous, much?” he muttered bitterly.

Shaking it off, he got to his feet and bounded up the stairs. Changing out of his pajamas, he shrugged on his coat and scarf before heading back down to the door. On the way, he flicked off the Christmas tree lights and snagged his wallet and phone from the coffee table. Slipping his sneakers on, he snatched his keys and was out the door.

It wasn’t quite like the first time he had made an impromptu departure. At least now he could actually read Korean signs. Henry made his way to the train station, planning quite literally to ride the rails until there was nothing left to ride. That was what he considered a great way to spend his Christmas Eve. Well, as great as it could get in the circumstances.

Perhaps it was good that Jiyoung wasn’t babying him. This way, the boundaries of their relationship were better set in stone. Henry had a few days to truly collect himself until he saw the older male again. At that time, he was determined to be perfectly and utterly rid of his infatuation.

***

Ryeowook was up rather earlier, getting his hair fixed just right before heading out of the house around seven in the morning. It wasn’t a particularly long bus ride to Hyungsik’s house, but it was decently lengthy enough to require mobile transportation that early in the day. Not to mention, his head was still a little light.

Climbing down the stairs, he saw that no one was yet awake. He grabbed an apple and placed Hyungsik’s present in a travel bag before scribbling a note for his brother to tell him that he had already left. Satisfied, Ryeowook silently shut and locked the front door, shuffling down the street to the bus stop.

Once settled into his seat, he pulled out his phone, finding a new text message from Kyuhyun.

Smiling, he quickly opened it. They had been messaging one another on and off since school ended, but ever since last night it had been constant. Ryeowook wasn’t even quite sure what they were talking about, yet somehow it was still fun.

K: I just woke up =/_\=

R: Ah? Still tired? Haha

K: Mm…little bit. It’s almost Christmas!

R: Are you gonna do anything today?

K: Probably run away

R: Why?

He frowned. That was an odd thing to saw on Christmas Eve. What was there to run away from?

K: Dad got my report card from first semester. He saw my major change to music.

R: Are you okay??

K: I don’t know yet. It was too late last night for him to yell at me.

R: Tell me if anything happens, alright?

K: Will you come running? Haha

R: If I have to!

K: I’ll hold you to that then

The bus came to a halt and Ryeowook lifted his head, seeing the street name. Getting up, he pushed his pocket into his phone and headed out, swinging his bag slightly. There were families already out and about, along with business men and women making their way to work.

A few shops were scattered around the residential area. Ryeowook bypassed them, eyes sweeping over the assortment of goods and sweets from local bakeries. Burrowing deeper into his scarf, or rather, Hyungsik’s scarf, he started searching for the correct house number. It definitely had to be around there somewhere. He tightened his hold on the present, scanning each building’s address plate.

Stopping on the sidewalk, he tilted his head. Did he miss it?

Sighing he was about to start again when two arms caught him from behind. Yelping, Ryeowook craned his neck, seeing Hyungsik smiling at him. Turning around, he hugged him tightly. “Where is your house? I couldn’t find it!” he laughed.

“Sorry, I realized I gave you my unit number, not my building number,” he explained sheepishly, “we live on the upper level.” Leaning down, he softly brushed his lips against Ryeowook’s, giving him another sweet smile. “Merry Christmas Eve!”

“If all you got me was a kiss…”

Hyungsik rolled his eyes, pulling his boyfriend back down the street.

***

Henry wandered the streets of Mokpo, still slightly groggy from the three hour train ride. When he woke up, he was already at the last stop. The next train back to Seoul wasn’t arriving until that night, so he was officially stuck in a foreign city for Christmas Eve…alone.

Sighing, he pressed on, stopping by a coffee shop. At first, the idea of travelling all the way to South Korea to become a musician was terrifying and then it became something like a dream with his preparations for debut. But then it struck him as he ordered hot chocolate that early morning. Here he was, supposedly living the dream, yet that dream apparently involved being there in that coffee shop alone.

He pulled out his phone, having felt a vibration.

Jiyoung: Need you at the studio to rerecord a track @ 3 today

Henry: I’m sick. Not going.

Jiyoung: You’re sick? How?

Henry: People get sick.

Jiyoung: Okay, I’ll tell them. Do you have medicine? I’m sending someone over.

Henry: No I’m fine. I have medicine. Don’t send anyone. I wanna be alone.

He turned off his phone, feeling slightly entitled. It was childish to throw a temper tantrum but just for today, he wanted to. So far in his stay with Jiyoung, he had only freaked out twice. That was pretty good, right? Most people his age were probably far crazier. The stress was no joke, but Henry loved the opportunity to share his talents.

A lot of other trainees just didn’t have the same passion. It was something that quite often irked him. Why did they complain about the extra practices? Why did they cry and gossip about stupid things? Henry questioned their reasons for becoming idols all the time.

Then again, as he waited at the bar for his hot chocolate, he sort of understood their frustrations. If attaining musician status meant not being with loved ones on Christmas…well, he wondered if it was really worth it in the long run.

“Uhm, excuse me.”

Henry looked up, smiling quickly at the woman who was offering him his drink. She was middle-aged with a kind face. Her hair was slightly disheveled, probably from the morning rush for coffee. “Thank you,” he nodded at her, reaching for the drink. However, she didn’t hand it over quite yet, seemingly scrutinizing him. Embarrassed, Henry lowered his hand, tilting his head at her. “Is there something wrong?”

She blinked and hurriedly handed him his hot chocolate. “Oh no, I’m sorry,” she laughed softly, “you look like someone my son has been talking a lot about recently. He’s in college studying dance and he told me that there’s this amazing boy who’s being trained by a famous idol.”

“Oh, really?” Henry mumbled, blowing on the plastic cover. He had a weird feeling about that description.

“Yes, yes,” she nodded enthusiastically, “he’s home for his winter break and ever since he’s been going on and on about the amazing things at college.” The woman chuckled fondly. “He’s very happy and that makes me happy.”

“Is your son planning on joining the entertainment industry?” he asked, leaning slightly on the counter.

“I hope so! His face is too handsome to waste on a normal job!” Clapping her hands, she quickly wiped them off on her apron and pulled out her wallet. “Here, I have a picture of him.”

Henry looked around the coffee shop, feeling slightly less bad about distracting the barista when he realized that there was no one waiting to order. Turning his attention back to her, he smiled and leaned closer as she flipped though the petite pictures in their plastic slips.

“My sweet, sweet son,” she cooed affectionately, running his rough thumb across the edge of the picture. It was of a smiling young man. His hair was dark brown – the same color as his round eyes. The way his face curled into that happy expression was so perfectly unique and carelessly happy that Henry was sure he could recognize it anywhere.

Eyes widening, he tapped his hand against the countertop. “Ah! You’re Donghae-hyung’s mom?” he exclaimed.

Immediately, her face lit up. “You are Henry!” She reached out, patting his cheek tenderly before quickly bowing her head. “Thank you for taking care of my Donghae.”

“No, no, he takes care of me,” Henry dropped his head, bowing stiffly. “Him and Eunhyuk-hyung, and Kyu-hyung, Ryeowook-hyung and Kibum-hyung too. They’re all very amazing upperclassmen.”

They chatted and greeted each other, words and praise overlapping until Mrs. Lee touched the young man’s arm, asking, “But why are you all the way out here in Mokpo? I heard that you’re from Canada.”

He suppressed the discomfort that rose up inside of him and smiled at her. “Uhm, I fell asleep while on the train and ended up here. I have to work during Christmas, so I couldn’t go home.”

Immediately, her face fell and Henry tried to comfort her but failed miserably as she started rambling about how a young boy couldn’t spend the holidays alone. Internally, he wanted to agree, but that wasn’t possible in the current situation. Mrs. Lee checked her watch, squeezing Henry’s arm soothingly. “You know what? I’m gonna call Donghae and have him come pick you up. You can spend Christmas with us.”

“No, I couldn’t—”

“—you can. I insist,” she urged firmly, patting his shoulder. “Just wait here.” In a flash, she was calling Donghae and before Henry even comprehended what happened, she was saying, “He’ll be here in five minutes to come get you, so sit tight, okay?”

All he could do was nod dumbly, stiffly settling down in a chair by the window.