Seconds…

Minutes…

Hours…

Days…

Weeks…

All was spent on convincing Mia to take her last choice into living. All of TVXQ did their best to make Mia take the heart donation set for her, but she still refused. Even though he won’t admit it, JaeJoong was getting a bit tired of Mia denying the life she could still have and spend it with him; it hurts him more than Mia.
One time, Yunho stayed behind while JaeJoong took a little rest back at the apartment as he hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in quite a while. Yunho diverted his eyes from the window and looked serenely at the worn out figure of Mia on the white crumpled bed.
He asked “Mia… why?”
“Why what?” she answered meekly
“Why won’t you do the heart transplant?” Yunho, being the brother that she never had, been as worried as JaeJoong about her health.
“Oppa—”
“Mia, I know you have a reason you won’t tell us. The reason of it being painful isn’t enough. Tell me.” He insisted with seriousness implanted on his face, an expression that never changed in the past few days. Mia sighed ah she knew that Yunho has seen through her.
“I-I don’t want to take someone else’s heart.”
“What? But that person is gone. It’s so much better to use it for good right?” Yunho walked closer to her and sat on the edge of the soft cushion of her bed.
“Not in that way… That heart has loved someone… same as mine” she replied curling her hair behind her ear.
“So?”
“So… I don’t want to replace my feelings with someone else’s. I don’t want to lose the heart that has loved for JaeJoong Oppa. That has loved for my parents. That has loved for TVXQ” she smiled now and took his hand “even if it turns out to be a success, I know in myself that I won’t be the same anymore. I won’t be me. Because I know that the heart that beats inside me isn’t mine. It doesn’t belong to me”
“Mia…”
“No Oppa… I’m sorry”
JaeJoong couldn’t believe his ears; he stood just outside her door as he heard every word that escaped Mia’s lips just now, the fist that is currently covering his lips from bawling out, was turning white as the pressure builds up from his force. He thought she was doing this because of him, to not lose her original feelings for him. JaeJoong coughed quietly and wiped the tears before he entered without knocking
“Mia…” his gruff voice surprised both of them when it was finally heard aloud. Yunho’s head turned towards him and let go of Mia’s hand, He nodded.
“Hey, I thought you were resting today…” Yunho muttered
“I just did. It’s fine. I just wanted to be here you know…” JaeJoong’s eyes moved to meet Mia and she smiled. She was so pale that not even a slight pinkish blush was on her cheeks.

-

There it was, now that JaeJoong knows that Mia will not take the surgery for his sake, he was willing to spend all of his time with her. To make her last days more memorable for both of them. They celebrated her belated birthday along with some other friends such as Donghae and Young Min. It was happy and bliss for a very short period of time.

Later, the doctor informed them that she was allowed to be escorted home, because all Mia was doing was waiting for her time to come. Not to get cured. So, TVXQ begged her parents for her to spend some more time with them in the apartment like the old times, Mia didn’t like it when the guys took everything as a responsibility for her. It makes her feel even worse and her illness so much more irritable. Nonetheless, like the stubborn lady that she is, she still did normal stuff like before she first came into their apartment. Like cleaning the house, doing the laundry or cooking. It made her feel normal again.

One day, she was at her weakest point. She didn’t have the strength to even carry herself out of her bed. Instead, she stared at the roses that Junsu had just replaced in the see-thorough glass vase. They were beautiful.
JaeJoong wondered what was taking Mia so long to meet the rest of them in the living room so he decided to check up on her. As he entered, he already saw a glimpse of her tranquil face; he sat on the edge of her bed and gently carried her head to rest upon his left arm, he combed her hair to the side and she smiled happily.
“Good morning Mia” he greeted.
“Mor-ning” she replied and flashed a small smile, her fingers reached for the rose inside the vase and Jae gladly took it for her, he handed it to her fingertips as she grasped it gently. The rose was brought upon her nose as she sniffed.
“Oppa…” she handed the rose to him “remember me and smile… because it better to forget… than to remember me and cry…”
“W-What are you saying?” he asked getting a little worried, Mia snuggled closer to his body and caressed it like it was the last time, her arms surrounded his abdomen and she felt warmth when her skin felt him breathing. It was like heaven.
“Just don’t cry because of me anymore okay?” she sighed and her breathing started to decrease. “Y-You know I love you so much Oppa…” JaeJoong took his initiative and cupped her chin to face his; he leaned in closer and kissed her with a lot of passion and desire within it. When they pulled out, they stared intently in each other’s eyes.
“I love you too Mia” he sincerely said
“I love you more… remember this. I will always love you… forever and always…” her gentle voice sighed again with the weakest voice she could produce. JaeJoong leaned in again and kissed her on the lips, Mia’s hand smoothed his cheeks that sent tingles down his spine.

One last sigh, the hand slided down from his cheek and landed on her chest, her eyes were closed forever but her lips was etched with a smile. She was not breathing anymore. JaeJoong pulled out from this one lifeless gesture and stared at her face, his breath got caught in his throat and it seemed like the whole world stopped for him, his lungs were crushed that just exhaling was very hard to do. No matter how hard it was…

He shed no tears.

He curled her hair behind her hair and whispered the words again.

“I love you Mia”

Yunho squeaked the door open and entered with a grin “JaeJoong ah! There you are! is Mia—” Yunho stopped on his trails as the same thing happened to him, the way he saw JaeJoong’s still figure hovering over her body stopped him from blinking. She was gone now, without even saying goodbye to the rest of them. It was that sudden. Yunho cupped his mouth by his trembling hands and breathed harshly as the tears started to fall.
The rest followed behind him and did the same; Changmin rested his face on Yoochun’s shoulder and bawled.
The hardest thing they had to go through in their entire lifetime.

-

It was a week past from Mia’s funeral and JaeJoong hasn’t eaten anything, said anything or done anything. The other got worried.

Until, when they were resting inside the apartment, sudden booms of agitated growls came from JaeJoong’s room, crashes of fragile appliances sounded like they were being smashed into walls, the noise increased and the shouting because louder. The others just ignored it and let him be, he needed to shout everything out. The fact that he shed no tears from her death onwards was very hard to do, especially when he was the last one she talked to and she dies literally in his arms.

He must be broken.

No matter what happens… Mia will always be my first true love.

Permanent Devotion.

FIN.
-=-=-
Sad Ending. it’s done!

I THANK EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED MY IN THIS FANFIC!
I LOVE YOU ALL AND I HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO SUPPORT ME IN MY OTHER FIC
“SO FANTASTIC” www.winglin.net/fanfic/Tammy3
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOO MUCH!!!!

Truly yours,
Tammy