This is the first time that Mark and I have ever agreed on something. “We need better friends.” He says simply to me, glaring at Jackson and Jinyoung angrily. “You said we were meeting Dayoung for lunch.”

I turn to Julia equally angry as we all sit around a table. “Yeah, you told me we were meeting Dayoung, nothing about this nonsense of him being here.” I say crossing my arms. “How could you do this to me?” I ask completely exasperated.

“Look, you’re a human now.” Jackson says brightly to Mark, who only looks at him questioningly. “Ah, right,” He says realizing that I only call him ‘it’ when it’s us speaking in Cantonese out of earshot from Mark. “Anyways, let’s just order, eat and enjoy our little break.” He says diplomatically.

Dayoung sighs heavily glancing between Mark and me. “Look, it really doesn’t matter whatever it is that makes you guys so contentious, you’ll have to put up a façade if you guys ever do something together publicly.” She says sensibly. Since the very public announcement of Dayoung being adopted she’s become excellent at putting a façade up for interviews, shows, random run-ins with fans, fan meets, fan signings, and concerts and I’d even say with us. “So it up and practice.” She says grinning at us.

I glance at Mark not at all sure I can handle faking being on good terms with him. Through lunch I stick to talking to Julia, Dayoung and Jackson or Jinyoung, while Mark and I politely ignore the other’s existence for the time being.

“I’m not quite sure that’s quite what Dayoung meant,” Julia says once we’re in the car. “Honestly, I’ve never see you like that with anyone before.” She says off-handedly.

I can only shrug my shoulders to this. I get along with just about everyone, I’m pretty easy going and I absolutely love to have fun. “Can our conversations please consist of topics that do not go back to Mark?” I ask flatly. Something about him exasperates me just as much as whatever it is about me that irritates him.

“Alright, how’s your song coming along? We have to have our songs ready for a check in with Junhyung this Friday.” Julia says seriously, “Then we have our song to add the final verse to. I have mine ready to show him.”

This I can handle. “I just have to get the last verse written, and then to try it out with the rest of what I have.” I explain coolly. “We can work on it at the dorm later; we can get the guide for our first song done right?” I ask curiously while leaning back now completely relaxed in the passenger seat.

“Yeah, think you’re up to doing the guide for mine today as well?” Julia asks, the two of us obviously having a long night at the studio ahead of us. “I’m fairly certain Junhyung won’t be back until Friday anyways, plus he’s busy with the rest of Beast for getting their album ready plus the show they’re filming.”

“We should be able to get a lot of what we need done at the studio,” I say while resting my eyes. “Have you talked to Nichkhun lately?”

I nod my head, “I was on the phone with him before we left for lunch.” I say feeling at easy. “He’s getting pretty busy though, I doubt I’ll see him for a while.” I answer pouting slightly.

“What about Henry?” Julia persists. At this question I glance at her curiously, not at all sure what exactly she’s trying to get at. “Have you talked to him recently?”

“Yeah, we text and talk on the phone occasionally, he’s back in China for a while.” I answer slowly watching Julia as she calmly drives us to Cube. “And what’s this all about?”

“Himchan then?” Julia says ignoring my own question. “Have you talked to him?”

I blink slowly sitting straight up in my seat. “Yeah, we talked while I was eating lunch, you know him being on tour and all.” I answer waiting a bit to see why she’s suddenly questioning me about the guys I dated and my recent contact with them.

“It’s just; I’m not sure how you and Junhyung do it. I mean at least with the others you aren’t coworkers. You and Junhyung though, I just can’t figure out how you just stop liking him like you did.” Julia says in a frustrated tone, her eyes darting from me and back to the road. “When I first met you both I couldn’t believe the .”

I glance out the window considering this, how do I just stop feeling how I had, Junhyung is still obviously having a bit of difficulty with it, and it’d been the same with Himchan, Nichkhun, and Henry, they’d all been taken back by my sudden withdrawal of feelings for them. Though admittedly with each of them the circumstances weren’t ideal for relationships, even more so than usual for idols and soon-to-be idols. “It isn’t like we really have a choice about it.” I say slowly. “Junhyung and I can’t be in relationship like that, it wouldn’t go well.”

“Well yeah, anyone could tell you that. Mel, you’re a bit volatile.” Julia says seriously. “But don’t you wish you could be in a relationship with him again?”

I let out a sigh, I consider this. Do I want to be in a relationship with Junhyung again, do I want to be like that with Junhyung again? “I don’t think so. The feelings have passed and the right time. Things didn’t work out and we both have to accept it.” I say firmly.

Julia simply nods her head. “You’re kinda like a cold fish sometimes, it surprises me.” She says gently as she parks. “I worry about you Melody. You always seem to throw yourself into a situation without a thought and then just as easily pull yourself out.” I unbuckle the strap and wait for Julia to continue. “I don’t want you giving up love for a dumb job that may or may not last.” She says seriously.

“Are you sure this isn’t because you want to be a soloist?” I jokingly; we’ve discussed this before, back when I first told her all about what lead me here. We make a team, I do things without worrying, and Julia worries too much, in the end we balance each other out enough that we walk somewhere close to the middle of the two extremes. Julia gives me a please-be-serious-look, so I answer her seriously, the question I’m not exactly fond of even considering. “If I do indeed meet someone, or if I find a relationship worthwhile, I promise I’ll give this all up, I’ll pick the happy ending.”

“Thank you,” Julia says, a relieved smile finding its way to her lips. “Those kinds of regrets I think are the worst.” She says softly before getting out of the car. I follow suit, knowing full well that Julia has a closet full of them, a lot of them she isn’t ready to talk about, but when she is I hope I’m ready to listen.

“So, think we can record the guides first?” I ask casually hooking my arm with hers. “I won’t be able to concentrate until we get them done anyways.” I say ignoring her almost question, giving my friend a rather cheek grin.

“You’re so lucky I love you, otherwise I’d have tossed your out of the car.” Julia says simply and rather cheerfully as we enter the building, quickly finding our way to a recording room. “But as soon as your parts are done, you’re working on yoour song.” My friend says while pinching me lightly.

I nod my head, completely sure that when the time comes I’ll be able to write the last verse, Julia brought up a lot of the feelings that I needed for the song, whether she knows it or not.

I sit with my arms folded against my chest as Junhyung listens to my song, Julia having left for some kind of appearance on some variety show a few minutes ago, I politely declined when I was offered, thinking it would be better suited for Julia. Junhyung’s fingers are tapping along on the arm of the chair; his head is bobbing slightly, and lastly a faint smile on his lips. As my song finishes Junhyung turns to look at me, an approving look. “It’s good, I’d recommend changing a couple parts, rewording a little bit, but I like it.” Junhyung says smiling at me.

“The chorus?” I ask knowingly, to which Junhyung nods his head. “It’s the part that took me the longest; I wasn’t really sure how to word it.” I say pouting slightly; the only real disadvantage I see for me is that Korean is not my native or even second language. “It was to get the general feeling down and for me to tweak.” I explain.

Junhyung smiles at me. “It’ll get easier for the wording, just a bit of practice.” Junhyung reassures me. “The concept for the song is a bit darker than the others you and Julia have shown me, even from before.” He notes looking at me worriedly.

I nod my head glancing away before looking Junhyung in the eyes. “I wanted to express something other than the happy songs Julia and I have already done. It doesn’t have to be for the next album.” I say slowly, Junhyung obviously getting that I wrote about him a little.

Getting up he watches me, debating in his head if he should sit or leave. “Do you have a hard time finding the line between us?” Junhyung asks hesitantly while rocking on his feet slightly. “Most of the time it seems like what happened didn’t matter…”

“You matter to me.” I tell Junhyung without thinking, I know as soon as I say it that I mean it. “Junhyung, we both know that if it got out things wouldn’t go well.” I say following the usual way this conversation has played out for me. I decide though to speak frankly with Junhyung. “We both need to move on from the idea of being more than what we are right now. It won’t be the right time, at least not anytime soon.”

Junhyung nods his head, letting out a dissatisfied sigh out. “We can still hang out though, go get dinner?” Junhyung asks casually. “We did start out as friends.”

I grin at Junhyung, getting up and grabbing my purse. “If you’re offering I have no problem going for a meal.” I say gleefully.

Junhyung chuckles nodding his head, “Between you and Doojoon I won’t have any money left.” He complains, though he is smiling. “So, how does debuting feel?” Junhyung asks curiously.

I consider this for a moment, “I thought I’d feel a little relieved or something like that, while I am happy and excited, I’m still worried. Does that make sense?” I ask looking over at Junhyung, hoping for some wisdom from my mentor and friend.

“I know the feeling,” Junhyung says nodding his head. “It’ll ease off a bit after a while, a lot can happen in a short amount of time.” He says while leading me through the building. “For me I feel it most when I’ve just finished a song and when an album is going to be released.” Junhyung explains further, “I feel it when Dayoung goes off and does something, same with Julia and you.”

“We worry about you too,” I say while shrugging my shoulders. “Dayoung thinks you should sleep more, and I agree.” I say eyeing Junhyung. “Julia thinks that you should eat at least if you’re working late.” I tell my sunbae, a bit cheeky, but I mean everything in a good way.

“You’ve definitely spent too much time with Dayoung.” Junhyung says simply while rolling his eyes. “I do get some sleep; everything is just a bit busy.”

I let out a chuckle, a sarcastic one, and look up at Junhyung. “Oppa, things are always busy with you.” I say flatly. “I’m serious, you should sleep more.” I say a bit more gently this time. “I know things need your attention, songs, the show you’re filming, the album, Dayoung, Euphonious’ stuff, and Beast, but we all worry about you. I worry about you.” I say letting out a sigh.

Once we’re in his car Junhyung speaks. “Have you always felt that way?” He asks, his serious side showing, versus the playful one Junhyung usually has when we hang out, though it has been a while.

“Of course, when we were dating and I visited you at the studio I’d fall asleep on the couch while you were working, then we’d go out for dinner or coffee, I rarely saw you sleeping. Even when I came in the next day with coffee you’d be working, sometimes in the same clothes from the day before,” I say feeling the frustrated feelings from back then surge through me. “I know this is what you love and music means a lot to you,” I say looking over at Junhyung seriously. “Sleep more often, nap, eat meals not snacks, I don’t like feeling so bent out of shape over something you hardly seem to consider.” I say frowning.

Junhyung does the one thing I absolutely never will admit to liking, reaching over he cups my cheek, then pats the top of my head. “I’m sorry,” Junhyung says softly. “I’ll take better care of myself, I promise.”

“Good,” I say stubbornly. “Jeez, you got me all worked up.” I say letting out a frustrated sigh.

Junhyung simply chuckles, obviously enjoying the ability to do such. “I heard something rather interesting,” Junhyung says coyly, which is never good. “I was eating lunch with Dayoung and Ilhoon.”

“You mean being a block.” I say jokingly, Junhyung sends me a not-funny-look. “Sorry, but they’re so cute, how can you not ship Dayhoon publicly at Cube?” I joke, rolling my wrist for Junhyung to continue.

“As I was saying,” Junhyung says smirking while driving. “I heard that you missed hanging out with Ilhoon and Dayoung when they went to have dinner with all your guys’ friends. Dayoung then explained that you don’t get along with Mark.”

“Ugh, not you too.” I say while rolling my eyes and crossing my arms. “The guy isn’t exactly receptive to being friends, and besides that, who would want to be a friend with a jackass like him?” I ask venomously.

Junhyung chuckles amusedly, obviously at my irritation. “Mel, you know this is the first time I’ve ever heard of you not getting along with someone. Not to mention this is the first time I’ve ever heard you sound so angry at the mention of one person.”

“Well excuse me for disliking someone.” I say staring out the window.

Junhyung chuckles again. “You don’t find it interesting?” Junhyung asks, though he beats me to a sarcastic reply. “And I don’t mean in that everyone else finds it interesting.”

I glance back and smile at Junhyung. “Look at you, quick on your feet.” I say smiling at Junhyung, letting out a sigh when I consider the animosity between a certain idol and myself. “I guess, but Mark is the one who started it. I’d been nice and friendly as I usually am, I don’t know what his deal is, but I sure as hell know it isn’t my fault.” I say simply and while shaking my head.

Kinda just filling in some blanks for relationships
and on how Melody views them~!
Mark should be in the next chapter. ^^
Anyways till next time my ducks <3