I let out a long sigh, we’ve decided to do two parts to our one year friendship mark, partly because we agreed back when we were planning it out to do a nice dinner, as in get dressed for it and then to go to Cheonmi’s apartment, well at least going to either mine and Julia’s or Cheonmi’s, for the second part of this night; the second part being the drinking in a safe environment with each other and not having to worry too much about the public aspect of our fun.

I glance at the other girls; we’re all dressed in black dresses that complement our personalities. My dress as Julia describes it is fun and a bit flirty, something to wear when you want to have class, but also have a lot of fun. I run my hands over the skirt of my dress, the soft fabric soothing me slightly. I glance down at my dress a little nervous about tonight; I’m perfectly fine with the dinner and then the little after party we’re going to have. I am however, nervous for when, Mark drops me off. I’ll be giving him his song, and for me it’s an extremely personal thing to do. I’ve never really written a whole song about one person and it scares me that I’d been able to do that for Mark, I’m scared for what he’ll think when he hears it, if he’ll like it or not.

“You look unsure about something,” Cheonmi says taking her seat next to me, the three of us waiting on Julia. “Is something wrong?”

I shake my head and let out a breath of air. “No, just ready to get back here,” I explain slowly. It isn’t a secret that I’m not exactly overly excited when we all go out together, at least not anymore. Before I’d been pretty laid back and enjoyed it, now I worry about how the others are actually perceived when we hang out. Though lately Mark has made me comfortable enough to forget about that, at least while we’re out.

“You look really pretty.” Cheonmi says while patting my leg gently. “You and Mark seem to be inseparable now, I remember when all you guys did was fight and when you weren’t around you complained about each other.”

“Yeah, it seemed impossible for us all to hang out for a while.” Dayoung says joining us a playful smirk on her face. “You guys seemed like water and oil.” She says while shaking her head. “Now you guys do that silent talking thing, little gestures to talk across the room without really talking, it’s cute.” Dayoung says happily.

I give my friends a deadpan look, mostly because both girls are now excitedly trading stories of Mark and me either fighting like cats and dogs and then their treasured ‘Markly’ moments. “This is pay back for all the Dayhoon shipping I did before you guys became a couple, isn’t it?” I say narrowing my eyes at Dayoung.

She gives me this real sly look. “No, I would never.” Dayoung says extremely sarcastically while holding one hand to her chest as though the accusation shocks or hurts her. “Though I can totally see where Hyuna is coming from about Ilhoon and me now. Though another personal favorite I have is JJJ Project.” She says as Julia comes out.

“Triple J is our preferred ship name, thank you.” Julia jokes happily. “Though JJJ Project is kinda growing on me.” Julia says as she puts her coat on, “Let’s head out!”

I shake my head as I pull my jacket on, I glance to Cheonmi to see her smiling down at her phone, if I had to guess, a text from Jackson, lately he’s the only one that can get her to smile like that.

As we get out of the car I smile as the boys all take care to help us out of the car, “Thank-you,” Cheonmi mumbles quietly to Jackson, a slight blush flushing her cheeks. I find them extremely cute; it’s just one of those things I suppose. When a shy girl and an outrageously loud guy are together, the stark differences and how they bring out little changes is endearing to anyone looking on.

I smile at her as I get out, slightly stunned to see Mark standing with his hand out for me, the surprising part being how good he looks in a suit. “No need to look so shocked to see me.” He teases as I take his hand. “It’s written all over your face.” Mark says with his usual self-satisfied smirk.

I simply get out minding the less than ideal conditions for my shoe choice. “Maybe I should have gone with my boots.” I mumble worriedly.

“I could carry you.” Mark suggests playfully, I glance to him and shake my head, gently hitting his shoulder as we get on the side walk, Mark being sure I’m balanced before leading us towards the door where the others are all heading in. “How can you girls stand exposing your legs, it is freezing out here.”

I chuckle and shake my head. “I personally think Dayoung and Julia use their sass to fuel their bodies for warmth.” I joke.

I’m rather thrilled when I hear Mark laugh quietly. “What about you? You’re just as sassy.”

“It all goes to my hips.” I joke with as we enter the threshold of the restaurant. We quickly join the others as we’re shown to our table, the entirety of GOT7, Euphonious, Dayoung, and Cheonmi all following and mingling rather happily.

As we arrive at our table the girls and I all take our jackets off, Mark standing behind me to help me out of my own. Looking over my shoulder I smile, saying a quiet and shy, “Thank you.” Mark simply smiles at me.

“Hyung, you’re so suave.” BamBam says as Mark then proceeds to put my jacket on the back of my chair and then pushing it in as I sit, resting his hand on my shoulder a moment before he walks to the other side of the table. “Noona, you and Hyung are really something else.”

Mark quietly takes his seat across from me; we both share a pleased look before turning to look at BamBam. “It’s just how we are.” I tell him simply, I turn to Mark and smile. “Though I agree with BamBam, you’re rather suave.”

“Quit flirting,” Jackson mutters sending us his usual sassy smile.

Our dinner here really isn’t that much different from our usual one. The only real difference aside from food being us toning back on our loud and slightly over the top conversations. We enjoy talking about the fun we’ve had over the last year.

By the time we’re leaving, BamBam, Yugyeom, and Youngjae all citing they’ll see us another time. “You’re not coming for the rest of the night?” I question pouting slightly at them.

Yugyeom gives me a cute smile. “Noona, we’re students, we have to study.” He says sounding not completely happy with this. “We’ll get to hang out more when we’re not busy with school.” He says as I walk over giving the three hugs.

“You act like we never see them,” Dayoung says laughing as I insist on hugging them. “Or are you planning on never seeing them?” She teases.

I shake my head as I cling onto Yugyeom, who is reluctantly letting me. “We rarely get to hang out with them,” I whine slightly.

“Noona,” Yugyeom says nervously. “Hyung is giving me this scary look.” He mutters; I glance over to see Mark watching rather intently with this very protective look on his face.

Letting go I happily and carefully, make my way over to said ‘hyung’. “Marky-Mark, no need to give him those kinds of looks,” I say happily. Mark simply nods his head, his arm resting comfortable around my waist.

“We’ll meet you guys there,” Jaebum says as he herds the three studious students. “We’re going to change into something a bit more appropriate, are you going to come Mark?” Jaebum teases when Mark simply stands holding me close to him.

“You look really pretty, I like the dress.” Mark mumbles giving me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head before heading off with the others.

“Oh my god,” Cheonmi gushes as I blush a very deep red. “That was so cute.” She says tugging on my to follow along to our own car.

I quickly decide that I definitely have to tell Mark how I feel, this nonsense of my heart clenching and my head being in utter chaos with thoughts of how sweet, sassy, and charming Mark is needs to have some kind of solution. “Dear god,” I mumble as I buckle up. “How do people survive things like that?” I ask as I try to shake it off.

“Falling for the Markly ship?” Dayoung teases. I can’t fight the quick nod that I give, which only incites a few giggles and excited looks from the others. “Don’t get too excited, she still has to admit to Mark about it first.” Dayoung says in a tone that says she’s been in my shoes before.

I shake my head at my friends as I opt to instead look out the window happily for the car ride back to Cheonmi’s. I find myself tapping my fingers on my legs in anticipation. My thoughts quickly churn over the fact that this is different for me. Confessing to someone who I thought a year ago I could kill, that I could very well do without. Now though, Mark is so integral to me. Mark isn’t just another guy that I could find, I don’t know too many people that would fake being in a relationship with me like this, who still look at me the same way after knowing so much about me.

“Melanie,” I hear Julia say, looking to my side I feel the sudden chill of my door being open and her giving me this expectant look. “Are you going to sit in the car all night thinking about whatever it is that has your attention or are you going to join us?” She teases nodding for me to follow her.

“Right, sorry,” I mumble as I get out, walking behind the girls still a bit dazed as they talk away about how lovely dinner had been, how it was such a nice change of pace for us.

I change quickly out of my dress and tights, I’m far too eager to be in comfortable clothes for the rest of the night. I leave the bedroom once I’ve changed into my black skinnies and plaid button-up shirt.

Sitting down on Cheonmi’s couch I tie my hair up in a ponytail. “Ilhoon told me about how you said some things that reminded him of me when I thought everything was going up in flames.” Dayoung says sitting next to me, the two of us having changed the fastest. The conversation seems a bit random, bit relevant, throwing me off enough to simply nod my head. “He thought for a while you’d give being an idol up, before the whole scandal, back when you decided to detox.”

I my lips, a habit I picked up form Julia. “Maybe I was going to. Ilhoon said you’d understand what I was thinking back then, and I think you’d understand what I’m thinking now too.” I say slowly. “Things are fickle in this business we’re in. I was questioning if this was really what I wanted.”

“Is it?”

I glance over and nod my head. “I love writing music, I love performing, I’ve missed it, I’ve missed being on stage, but at the same time it’s like I’ve had this huge weight lifted off me.”

Dayoung smiles at me, a calm and understanding smile. “Back when everything came out I thought I’d never make it out of it. I thought that I’d be eaten alive by what everyone was saying, it’s still ridiculous to me that people cared so much about the situation, that they had to be in my personal life, that something so private had to be splashed across gossip columns and talked about and dissected like it effected them.”

“When really it isn’t their business,” I answer. “It doesn’t concern anyone about how you came to be here in Korea or the families you’re apart of here really, just that you worked hard and made everything work.”

Dayoung smiles at me. “Fame is funny like that, makes us inhuman somehow, makes it okay to tell us things that would be considered heinous to tell someone who isn’t famous.”  Dayoung seems almost sad about it. “Things are changing though, and I’m glad you’re making your way out of this with your head above water.”

I let out a dry laugh. “It doesn’t always feel that way.” I tell her quietly, my hands pushing the sleeves of my shirt up. “Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and I’m pulling everyone that I care about down with me. It’s a little suffocating to be honest, but then Julia will say something or you, or anyone of us really, and I feel like I’ve been pulled out and rescued.” I admit.

Julia comes out giggling and rubbing Cheonmi’s shoulders in an encouraging sort of manner. “Come on, it’s okay to tell us!” She says excitedly. “Tell them, I mean for god’s sake I heard the conversation.” She teases excitedly.

Cheonmi’s face is extremely red, though she doesn’t look uncomfortable, more excited. “Julia, it really isn’t a big deal, I mean Dayoung and Ilhoon are dating, people happen to like other people.” She says matter-of-factly. “I happen to like Jackson, no big deal.” She says quietly, biting her lip cutely after saying it aloud.

Julia tosses her arms up in a halleluiah kind of way and looks up at the ceiling happily. “All the ships are coming true!” She squeals excitedly. “First Dayhoon, now Jackmi, and eventually I’ll have Markly!” I shake my head as my friend giggles about her ships excitedly. “I’m really happy for you Cheonmi.” Julia says sincerely offering the girl a hug.

I watch a bit impressed that Julia’s offer is accepted and returned by Cheonmi. I’ve noticed her aversion to skinship or touching of any kind really, but recently she’s been more willing to do little things like hugs or grabbing someone’s arm or something. “Are they close?” Dayoung asks impatiently as she eyes a bottle of whipped cream vodka.

Julia then of course gestures to Cheonmi, who turns slightly red again. “They’ll be here soon.” She mumbles cutely while nudging Julia with her elbow while muttering a quiet, “Quit it.”

“Anyways, I’d just like to say a quick thank you to Dayoung.” Julia says taking a seat next to said girl, dragging Cheonmi by the hand with her. “You certainly know how to spot good friends.” She says simply.

Dayoung simply smiles and wraps an arm around her shoulder. “I’m glad you agree, so let’s remember that I can have good judgment.” She jokes. This continues with us jokingly poking fun at Dayoung’s not so great judgment calls in the past.

A little late, sorry my ducks!