I stare at Melody, happily humming while doodling away on a pad of paper. Since we’ve been spending even more time together I’ve gotten to know Melody at another level, in different settings and dynamics. She can’t be idle; Melody being idle usually leads to trouble. As a result she carries around pads of papers in her purse or picks up scraps of paper to draw or write on to keep her from being lazy. When completely focused she hums a song, either one she’s writing or one that she likes, when annoyed she taps her foot or fingers, nervous or uncomfortable she leans closer to me or something to put distance between her and whatever is causing her distress. Melody also likes to observe her settings, cafes, sets, rooms, people, anything; she likes to get a feel for what’s going on, I’ve also noticed her watching me closely a few times, though I’ve never brought attention to it.

Being like this with Melody while a wonderful insight is also painful. I forget that this is pretend sometimes, I forget it isn’t real. Jinyoung had been right about the personal sacrifice.

Getting up, Melody stops and watches as I leave the table, I slide on the couch next to Jinyoung, only then does she go back to doodling. Soon enough I can hear her humming happily, I’m fairly certain this is another one of the songs she’s been working on for a few weeks now.

“You’re both pretty comfortable with each other.” Jinyoung says glancing to a preoccupied Melody and then back to me. “You look worried.” My friend says as I glance back over at Melody happily drawing in her own little world.

“Remember that conversation we had before?” I say quietly, Jinyoung simply nods his head. “I’ve set myself up for it.” I say while shaking my head. “There isn’t a way this ends with it becoming real.” I say frowning. “And even if it were, there’s the whole chance that it ends up the same anyways, back to us being just friends or devolving back to what we were before.”

“Why do you over think everything?” Jinyoung says while sighing. “While I do agree you set yourself up for this one, I mean how long can you both pretend until it becomes real or go up in flames? Though honestly for the first to happen one of you have to actually admit it to the other.”

“It’s not that simple.” I mutter, though if I’m being honest it is. I can’t really tell if Melody likes me or not at this point, she’s a lot more affectionate and gravitates towards me more whenever we’re in the same room together, but at other times she distances herself away from me.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes at me. “Mark, you know Nichkhun is amazed that Melody and you are ‘dating’.” I glance to him and he nods his head. “He mentioned that he thought she’d never agree to go public with any kind of relationship, especially with everything that happened and still kinda going on.”

I have a distinct feeling that Nichkhun knows we’re not really dating. “It isn’t like she agreed exactly.” I say getting up, as much as I hate it the only person I’ll really be able to get any idea of where I really stand with Melody, aside from her, is Nichkhun.

“Where are you going?” I hear Melody ask, looking over I see her watching me, trying to decide if she should follow or not.

I find her insufferably adorable. “Just stretching my legs, I’ll be back in a bit.” I tell her smoothly, she settles for staying in her seat.

Melody nods her head, glancing over at Jinyoung who is sending me a curious look, and then back to her paper, deciding the latter is more interesting she goes back to drawing.

I find Nichkhun sitting in 2PM’s practice room, he’s talking with Junho. “Hello Mark,” He says curiously, “What brings you here?” He asks while cocking a brow up.

Junho excuses himself, saying something about not wanting to be in the middle. “I wanted to ask you something.”

Nichkhun nods his head gesturing for me to take a seat, “I take it about Melody.” He says knowingly.

I frown as I sit. “I happen to have an idea that you don’t buy the relationship.”

Nichkhun nods his head again. “But only because of prior experience with her.” He says softly. “I doubt Henry, Junhyung, or Himchan are buying into it either. Not that it really matters; we wouldn’t say anything against it.” He says while shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just one of those things we can tell, when Melody is seeing someone or when she’s being drawn in.”

I frown again. I’m not really sure if I want to know so much from Nichkhun. “Was it worth it?” I ask quietly.

He seems to know what I’m talking about as he settles into his chair a bit more. “She’s easy to get wrapped up in, to lose track of other things,” He says slowly. “In all honesty I’d have to say that every moment I spent with her was worth it, the good times, the times I was wondering what I’d done wrong, when I knew things weren’t right, and when I knew it wouldn’t end well. I won’t and can’t regret it.” Nichkhun says simply. “It hurt, but I know that we missed our chance for anything better or longer.”

Listening to how Nichkhun talks about Melody hurts. He sounds sad that it hadn't worked, like all that he really regrets is that he hadn't stopped her. “Did you love her?” I ask quietly, hating myself a little for asking something I’m sure I know the answer to.

“I still love her, but I’m not in love with her anymore.” Nichkhun answers in a soft tone, the look on his face makes me really wish I hadn’t asked, but at the same time I’m relieved. “You know, it’d be best to just tell her verses waiting it out like you’re doing. Melody isn’t exactly one to wait around on her feelings, she’ll move on even if she isn’t quite aware of them.”

I look away wondering if this is really the best solution. “What if she doesn’t feel the same?” I ask quietly still, I find myself back in the same situation as when we were trainees together.

Nichkhun chuckles, I snap my head to look at him. “Mark, don’t be hesitant about this kind of thing.” I nod my head as I stand up bowing to him respectively. “Mark, don’t let her chase you away with excuses or runaway because she realizes how strong she feels about the relationship.”

“Is that what you regret?” I ask him seriously.

Nichkhun lets out a long sigh. “I do, but I can’t change things not that I’d want to.” He says while shrugging his shoulders. “Melody isn't the same person when we first met four years ago. I honestly think she's getting to be a better person now.”

I leave the practice room after thanking Nichkhun-hyung for talking with me. I suppose what Nichkhun told me had been simple, tell her how I feel, be honest an up front with her, don't over think it. My only problem now is that I have to face Meody and tell her honestly that this pretending to be in a relationship means a lot more to me than she thinks.

By the time I’m back Melody has lost interest in what she’d been doing; she’s taken to dancing with Jinyoung. “Can you do it by yourself?” He asks Melody curiously as they finish whatever they’ve just learned.

“Probably, I’m a quick study with dancing.” She says while shrugging her shoulders. To which Jinyoung heads to start whatever song they’d been dancing to over. As soon as the music starts I realize she’s been learning A.

I watch from the side unnoticed by either as Melody runs through the song rather smoothly, making minimal mistakes. By the time the songs over, I clap rather impressed. “How long were you working on it?” I ask getting their attention.

“I ran through it once for practice, and then she asked if she could practice with me.” Jinyoung says sounding just as impressed as I am. “She only went through it with me one time.”

“I told you, I’m a quick study with dancing.” Melody says with a shrug. “Anyways, we should probably meet Jackson.” She says picking up her jacket. “He texted me while you were gone, something about a lunch we’re supposed to meet him for so you two can talk about something.” Melody says while frowning. “It was a confusing text.”

“I agree,” Jinyoung says mirroring her expression. “It was vague.” He says while shrugging his shoulders. “Anyways, I should probably get back to the dorm, we left pretty early.”

I nod my head as I roll my eyes. “They probably made a bigger mess than when we left.”

“Exactly,” Jinyoung says with a mildly irritated groan. “I’ll see you back at the dorm then.” Jinyoung says heading off before us. “And I’ll see you at dinner,” Jinyoung says to Melody happily.

“Definitely,” She says happily as Jinyoung leaves, though as soon as he leaves her smiles drops. This dinner has been making her nervous since Dayoung brought it up a couple weeks ago.

I smile at Melody as she fixes her hair. “You missed a piece,” I say walking over to her, tugging on the left out strand lightly.

Melody turns and grins at me. “Thank you Oppa,” She says cutely. “You’re making a funny face, should I not call you Oppa like that?” She asks curiously as she gathers her hair back up and tying it up in a ponytail.

“I don’t mind, just kind of caught me off guard, you only do it when it’s us.” I say casually, though if I’m being honest I like when Mel chooses to use the term. “Anyways, let’s see this confusing text.” I say holding my hand out for her phone. Melody happily hands me said item, watching me as I unlock her phone and then get to her messages. Reading it over I understand her confusion. “Where exactly are we supposed to meet him?”

“Maybe we should just call him.” I nod my head as I use her phone to call our mutual friend. Melody in the meantime busies herself with fixing her hair. I find that I have a hard time not watching her close as well.

~~~

I watch Mark from across the table, I have a lazy smile on my face, and he’s sitting there talking to Jackson about the something he mentioned that he’d know about in the text he sent me. Mark glances at me and smiles. “Ready to go?” He asks me casually, temporarily ignoring Jackson.

“I can wait.” I answer patiently. I glance down at my drink and then to the napkin, pulling a pen out of my bag I begin writing down little lyrics, just verses I’ve had stuck in my head for the last few days. Before I know it I’ve gone through three napkins and I’m humming along with the song I’ve more or less written while sitting here.

“You’re always writing now.” I hear Mark say; I look up from my napkin and smile at him. “You’re looking pretty happy now too.”

I almost word vomit and say that he’s the reason. “I have a lot to write about now.” I answer sending Mark a smile. “Are you boys all done?” I ask picking my napkins up and crumpling them up.

“Yah,” Mark says grabbing them out of my hand, straightening them out Mark stuffs them in his pocket. “What if you’re throwing away a perfect song?” He asks while frowning.

I chuckle shaking my head. “You say that every time I go to throw away a piece of paper.” I tell him smirking slightly. “Are you stocking up on my scraps?” I .

Mark simply sticks his tongue out at me. “Let’s just get you out of here.” Mark says getting up. Following behind I grab his hand and walk close to him. This kind of thing has become natural, even when we’re hanging out with our group of friends we do things like this.

“Yah, it’s not even necessary.” Jackson says while pouting.

I give him my signature so-what look. “You’re just jealous because you and Cheonmi can’t.” I tease as the three of us walk towards JYPE. “Besides, I like holding Marky-Mark’s hand.” I say casually.

Mark not one to dwell on the topic changes it. “I hear you and Julia have set dates coming up for a comeback.”

I nod my head gleefully. “It’s pretty easy going too, with the down time we have enough songs to pick from and written to do a full album.” I say excitedly. “Your favorite is on it too.” I tell Mark.

“Yuck,” Jackson mutters walking ahead of us.

I shake my head as Mark simply tugs me a little closer. “You still haven’t given me my song yet,” He mumbles quietly in English. I feel my face flush, this kind of reaction is fairly new, something that happens when Mark is extremely close and teasing, which isn’t all that often.

“I just finished recording it,” I mumble back just as quiet. Mark's song is just that, his song. I'm the only one that's heard it aside from Julia who told me it's amazing and asked what it was for, to which I told her just soemthing I've been working on. I sing the entire song, I put everything I had into it. I also have held back on giving it to Mark until I was sure the song was perfect. “I finally got it to be just how I wanted it to, I have it on a flashdrive back at my dorm.”

Mark nudges me lightly. “Is it alright if I pick it up when I drop you off tonight?” Mark asks shyly. I simply nod my head finding this particular instance to be too intimate, not that I can find it in me to really mind. “Did you pick a title for it?” He asks as we enter JYPE where we’re meeting everyone, we’re celebrating the one year mark of being friends; something Dayoung has actively expressed the want of doing.

“I have, but you’ll see when I give it to you.” I say shyly. The title means a lot to me and it’s something I think Mark will understand instantly when I give him the song.

Mark frowns. “I don’t get to know it?”

I smile at him and shake my head. “It’ll kinda spoil it knowing the title now.” I tell him simply. “Don’t worry; I think you’ll really like it.” I tell him simply; as my phone goes off I realize it is Julia. “Julia says she’s here to pick me up so the girls can all get ready together.”

Mark gives me this exasperated sigh then quickly giving me a teasing smirk. “I’ll see you tonight then.” He says leaning down and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Bye Melody.”

I smile biting my lip slightly from the simple action. “See you soon Marky-Mark.” I say waving as I go.

So I'm getting pretty close to the last chapter I think.
I don't have too much more planned out, but I'm fairly certain you guys will like the ending.
^^
Enjoy my ducks!