Instead of heading back to the dorm I go to Euphonious’ dorm to see if I can persuade Julia into letting me know when Melody is coming back and to apologize for what I caused.

As soon as Julia opens the door her expression sours. “ you.” She then shuts the door. I bite my lip nervously; somehow I think Dayoung was a bit wrong, I think Julia does hate me.

“Julia, I want to talk to you.” I say slowly and praying no one happens upon me. Sighing I glance at the flowers in my arm and the note I’ve yet to write.

“Mark she trusted you.” Julia says through the door. “Melanie was looking at things in a better light, but then you go and let her fall.” Opening the door Julia looks at me, this is the angriest I’ve ever seen her. “Why the would you get so close to her, get to know her, let her grow attached to you, help her through so much only to tell her you don’t want to be around her anymore?” Julia asks seriously. “Mark do you have any idea how much of an effect you’ve had on Melanie?”

I let out a long breath. “I was hoping it’d make me less afraid to tell her everything, to face her and admit allowed to Melanie what she means to me, it only made me that much more sure that I’d never end up with her.” I say pathetically. “And I can’t even put a proper apology together, and you both deserve one. I know I’ve hurt Melody, I’ve said things I can’t take back. I’m sorry for all of it, I’m sorry that I’d been too scared.”

“And you want her to listen to your confession now? Mark the back and forth, wishy-washy crap isn’t good for anyone, pick one and stick to it.”

“I am.” I state seriously. “I just want to know if you know when Melody is coming back so I can talk to her. So I can explain, so I can apologize.” I say taking a deep breath. “I just want to make things right, if anything else Melody deserves the truth.”

Julia looks at me and frowns slightly. “She’s coming back today, a snowstorm is supposed to hit New York tomorrow; Melody doesn’t want to end up stuck there.” Julia sighs watching me for a moment. “Junhyung is picking her up and dropping her off here later tonight,” She says letting me in. “You should put those in a vase so they still look nice when Mel gets home.”

Following behind hesitantly I wonder if I’ll be able to say everything I need to, I wonder if Melody will listen to me at all. “How has she been?” I ask finally.

Julia takes care of the flowers before looking at me. “Honestly I’m not sure. She ran into someone she knew before she moved to Hong Kong. It weirded her out and made her a lot less talkative whenever we talked.” Julia answers worriedly. “Some guy that was friends with Theo, so you can let out that breathe you’re holding.” She says with a smirk.

Sitting at the table she motions for me to join her. “I hate to ask, but do you have a pen?”  I ask as I set the card down. Julia rolls one over to me. Writing my note to Melanie, a simple and short note asking for her to just hear me out and to let me explain, telling her that I’m sorry and that I never meant to hurt her so much, not ever.

“You know, I suggested for her to stay there, not to come back.” Julia says quietly, looking up I study my friend. The red eyes, tired look on her face, looking a bit run down. “I’ve suggested for her to give everything up in favor of her being happy before. I’ve made her promise me that if someone comes along that can make her happy and being an idol gets in the way of it, I want her to choose to be happy.” Julia says quietly. “She has it in her head that she owes me more than who she is.”

“It’s because of how much she cares about you.” I say quietly. “She’d choose whatever it took to make you happy first.”

Julia looks and me and nods her head. “I know she would, promise me you’ll make her happy, promise me that after whatever you both talk about it’ll be for the best, for her sake and no one else’s.” Julia says leaning back in her chair, a serious expression on her face. “If not you’re wasting your time and effort here.”

“I’m going to do my best,” I tell Julia simply, while a lot of this does depend on me saying it all to Melody, it also has a lot to do with how willing Melody will listen, and that she won’t just kick me out of here when she sees me.

Julia leans back a softer and more relaxed look on her face as she closes her eyes. “It was how she talked about Nichkhun and why she left him, right?” Julia asks after a moment. “It’d just be better to move on, right?” Julia asks, like she’d been there.

“How did you know?” I ask quietly feeling a lot more wary of her than I had been before.

Julia sighs. “It’s how she talks about things, how she has it all justified in her mind, though this time I think she was right to break up with Nichkhun this time around.”

“Do you think if she’d stayed at JYP that she and hyung would still be together?”  I ask quietly, while the question doesn’t bother me anymore I’ve always wondered. What would have changed if Melody hadn’t left to train at a different company, would she have ended up in this mess?

Julia nods her head. “Probably would have gotten married and had a kid by now,” She says simply. “No matter how you look at it Mark, they were definitely in love, but Melody ducked out of that happy ending. She’ll try that with you too I bet if you guys get to be too happy, too serious, too anything.” Julia says as a warning. “Don’t let her duck out of it, don’t let her talk you away, don’t let her push you away with little excuses, don’t let it happen Mark.” Julia sighs as she gets up from her chair, grabbing a water bottle that had been on the counter. “She needs someone steady like you in her life, someone that will challenge her. Someone that will argue with her and drive her a little crazy, someone like you Mark.” Julia pauses and her signature calculating smirk appears on her face. “Someone that will be able to tell her no, to make her realize there are endings in life that have a happy ending, a better ending than she has all thought out for herself. Someone that’s liked her like you have and do.”

“How long have you known?” I ask curiously as she takes her seat back, a coy smirk on her face as she does so. “I feel like you’re the only one I never had fooled.”

“Me and Jinyoung,” Julia answers. “Neither of us really bought into all the fights you and started or got into, I didn’t put it together until Jinyoung told me he was surprised you and Melody didn’t get on like before when she was a trainee there at JYP.” She answers. “Though when I asked if Mel knew you from before it all made sense, I’m sorry she’s a bit of an airhead sometimes.”

I shake my head and let out a sigh. “Like you said she and Nichkhun were in love, there was and isn’t any denying that.” I say accepting that part of life, that sometimes you have to wait and sometimes you mess things up before you can be with someone, even if you don’t mean to. “I told her the night we argued; I told her that she’d forgotten me, and then I baited her into saying what she did knowing it would just make me angrier.” I confess sourly.

Julia smiles at me and shakes her head. “You always did have the knack for that. I’ve got to admit, I’m pretty impressed that you’ve always been able to do that to her, to know her so well even after so long.”

“Yeah and you’re pretty scary with how you just happen to know everything.” I say eyeing Julia carefully.

She shakes her head looking much more at peace with everything now. “I’m more in tuned with everyone is all, I pay attention to the small little words, gestures, and things that upset everyone; I notice a lot of things no one wants to say aloud.” She says easily, though she frowns and looks down at the table top. “Though, I hadn’t notice Melody being upset before she left, I missed that.”

I nod my head as I let out a sigh. “She isn’t always an open book.”

Julia looks up and her head to the side before giving me a kind smile. “No, but she does have a way with revealing herself unintentionally.” She says while shaking her head.

Julia and I talk a while before I suggest her getting some rest seeing how tired she looks. Julia then demands that I stay and wait for Melody to get back, making me promise to stay until we sort everything out.

I’m sitting in the living room on their couch when I hear the door open and Melody adamantly telling Junhyung to go. “No, I don’t need you to watch me, Junhyung just let me be. I’ll be fine, besides Julia is here.” She says insisting. “Please, I don’t need you to hover over me.” She pleads.

“Fine, just get some rest alright?” Junhyung mutters finally before the door closes.

Feeling my heart beating loudly in my ears as I hear her walking into the apartment, “Flowers, Julia are you—” Melody stops short when she sees me the look of hurt intensifying on her face. “What are you doing here?” she asks as she sets her bags down. “I thought, last time we talked you told me—” She stops and looks and me frowning. “Why are you here Mark?” She asks finally.

“I just want to talk to you, I want to explain,” I say carefully knowing perfectly well that I say something she doesn’t agree with, she’ll just walk away.

Melody carefully edges herself to the chair farthest from my spot on the couch, “Then go ahead and say whatever you need to say.” She demands sinking into the chair and eyeing me suspiciously.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her while frowning. “I shouldn’t have picked that fight with you; I shouldn’t have said any of that. I was upset, you kept treating me like a friend, and kept saying things like I’d always be just that. A good friend to you, the one that you could forget and I hated it.” I confess quietly. “I wanted to get you alone so we could talk about changing our relationship; I chickened out and attacked you about Nichkhun.”

Melody watches me for a moment before she lets out a sigh and looks down at her lap. “I can’t change that about me, you know that right?” She says quietly. “I can’t change the fact that for a period of time I’d been in love with him, that I was willing to give it all up, that I left and let everything fall apart because I got scared, because I thought it’d be better if I left. I can’t change that.”

“I know that,” I answer solemnly; I study Melody carefully as she fidgets in her seat looking down at her hands clasping the other on her lap. “I’m not going to ask you to change; I’m not going to ask you to even keep me in your life. I just want you to know Melody how much you mean to me and so many other people and I’m so sorry that I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry that I was too scared to admit that I’ve liked you since you talked to me that first time when we were trainees, and I know you don’t believe in it for you, but I want you to be happy.” I say getting up letting her mull that over. “I’m not going to force anything on you.” I tell her as I leave.

There isn’t any sudden confession from Melody; there isn’t her running after me as I leave their apartment, or random event that has me going back to their apartment. I arrive back at my own dorm late at night and get in bed and go to sleep.

~~~

I stare where Mark had been, I wonder why I hadn’t been able to stop him, why I simply got in bed and fell asleep instead of considering every option I have. I should have stopped him; I should tell him that I like him in the same way, and that I may not be so far off from believing in these elusive happy endings for myself, that that ending may include Mark in some kind of way.

“Get up sleepy head,” Julia says nudging me gently. “You have company, and I have to run a few errands.” She’s being oddly nice, well maybe not oddly, but certainly out of character for her to be so nice to me. Peeking my eyes open I see her smiling at me happily. “I missed you.” She says simply as I wrap my arms around her tightly. “You need to get dressed.”

I nod my head as I continue to hold my best friend, “I know, but that can wait. I really am sorry.” I tell her sincerely. “I missed you too.” I feel much more at ease being able to see Julia, knowing that she and I are still the best of friends, that we are okay with each other even after my selfish act of running away for a week.

“Did you talk to Mark last night?” She asks after I let go and start getting dressed, well rather she pushed me off her and gives me her familiar just-do-it-look. I nod my head feeling a bit at odds with myself still. “How did it go? Were you guys able to work everything out?” She questions curiously.

“Not quite,” I admit quietly. Julia nods her head as she leaves. “Where are you going?” I call after her as I head to go get ready for the day, my whole bathroom routine to get through still.

“Errands, groceries, I need to go talk to Dayoung and Cheonmi about you being back. Everyone is kinda on edge, I’m gonna talk them down before you actually see everyone, you know, nothing big or showy.” She calls as she leaves the hallway. I hear her call bye, and then the door closing behind her before I can even manage to ask who is here and even say my own goodbye. I settle for brushing my teeth, washing my face, and combing through my hair before heading out to the living room.

I’m completely taken off-guard when I see Mark sitting on our couch waiting for me. He must have heard me, standing up and turning to look at me he waves slightly. “Hey, I wanted to see where we stand is all, I don’t mean to bombard you or anything.” Mark says nervously. 

This chapter actually changed quite a bit.
It was nearly a sappy love cliche ending. I changed my mind, mostly because it
was turning out extremely anticlimactic. And I'm fairly certain you and I both would not be satisfied with
that kind of ending.
Maybe one or two more chapters?