Walking out into the lobby I glance nervously to James, he’s changed and leaving as someone else mans the desk now. I’ve waited three days to talk to him, I only have a limited time and for whatever reason, I feel like I need to talk to James, and possibly even Theo, well more likely I just need to punch Theo in the face.

“James,” I say calling to him gathering up my nerve, “Can we talk?” I ask.

I see I’ve again shocked James; he stares at me with his mouth slightly agape, his eyes a bit wide, and he stopped walking. “Yeah, sure. Sorry, it’s just didn’t expect to really see much of you.”

I smile nodding my head, “I’m pretty sure since Theo I’ve had that reaction on people.” While painful to mention, it is true. Before Theo I’d been unassuming, quiet, and played my part in a picture perfect family.

James nods his head slowly. “Theo is still in the city if you’re curious, still up to mostly the same stuff.” He explains slowly. “I’m assuming that’s what you want to talk about, Theo.”

I nod my head. “He kind of got in my head.” I say admitting it openly. “He’d kind of had this lasting effect on me that I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able shake off.”

“You know, you were different. We all told Theo not to mess with you, that you weren’t the same as a lot of the other girls we’d gone to school with, you weren’t the type to just leave like he had the habit of doing.” James says pulling his jacket on tighter as we leave the building. “After you moved though Theo definitely changed.”

I frown, this being news to me. “What? He grew a conscious or did he just get more reckless?” I ask curiously.

James nods his head, letting out a long sigh. “Before you left Theo kept talking about how he was going to make it all up to you, that he’d fix the mistake he’d made with you, that it’d all be okay once he could just get on the right track. He stopped messing around, stopped hanging out with all the wrong people, started taking things seriously, just like you wanted him to. He turned it all around, but by the time he was ready to face you…”

“I’d moved already.”

James nods his head. “It didn’t really hit him until a couple years after though; he had this huge break down, started sleeping with all these girls and just lost it really.” James says sadly. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s brilliant and probably way too intelligent for his own good. He knows how to work a system.”

“Always did,” I say simply as we continue to walk. “Theo did do a number on me.” I say after a moment.

James lets out a long breath, watching it float up in the cold air. “You changed a lot while dating him, took all the right risks,” He pauses. “Theo had that effect on a lot of people, I mean I never would have gone to any of the parties, hung out with the people I had been, Theo though brought me out and insisted on including me in everything.”

“He always spoke very highly of you.” I say thinking about the time I’d spent with him. Looking back down at my feet I let out a heavy sigh. “James, I think I’ve made some wrong choices since Theo.”

“So I’ve heard, it was news to me when you went and became some pop star.” James says nudging me. “You really sing in front of lots of people?”

I laugh and nod my head. “Not recently,” I answer missing that feeling, one of the many reasons I’m going back, I have unfinished business there with not just the industry, but the people I left there so I could gather my head.

“Well Sunny says that whatever happened was a bunch of bull and that those guys should be castrated.” James says while shaking his head. “I’m sure she’s not wrong, and I’m sure that there is a bit of truth to what they said.”

“There was a bit of truth, I dated them, but it wasn’t like I slept with everyone I dated.” I explain simply, James I feel like I can trust; he was always the one to talk Theo out of some crazy idea or to change his mind about something he really shouldn’t do. “I’m leaving in a few days to go back.”

“That’s good, why’d you run off in the first place? That doesn’t sound like the Melanie that I knew.” James asks curiously.

“That Melanie is lost,” I answer quietly. “It’s strange to be called Melanie…”

James chuckles. “Seems like to me, that your trouble started when you let this Melody take over who’d you become.” He states firmly, but casually. “Look, Melody and Melanie really aren’t that different I bet, but if you ran back here things must have been pretty bad there in Asia.”

“Someone I really care for doesn’t want to see me or to even be associated with me.” I explain sadly. “I hate it because I just realized how much this person means to me and that I really would have been lost without them through everything that has happened. They grounded me.”

“Then get your back to Korea and tell that person that.” James says easily. “Melanie, you know you and this person are probably suffering from some kind of mix up with words, it isn’t like you’ve always been the most forthcoming about how you feel about people.”

“I should have learned by now.” I say sighing heavily. “But it was something Theo had been very adamant about. He never did like when I told him how I felt about him and he rarely would say anything about his feelings to me.”

“Best way to try and stunt feelings, at least according to him.” James says dismissing the whole topic. “Anyways, you should probably get back inside, it’s cold, and while I would love to catch up, I have homework to get done, not all of us can get things done so easily.” James says glancing up and the sky, it having gone dark since the start of our walk.

James and I are silent on the walk back to the apartment building together, dropping me off and leaving on his own once I’m safely in the lobby. Heading back up I wonder about what he’d said, that Theo tried to curb how I felt about him. How that hadn’t worked at all, if anything it made me fall even more.

Sitting in the living room I spend the night reading and thinking about what James said.

Melanie and Melody, obviously the same person with similarities and a few differences; all making me up as a person, but also leaving me at a loss as to what happened to make me feel so lost. I hardly ever even refer to myself as Melanie anymore, I’ve been Melody since Julia and I became Euphonious. Could a name change really be all that had fragmented me? Somehow I doubt that.

Perhaps it could be the fact that I’ve allowed myself to blame Theo for all the huge changes that happened so many years ago now. Or how I’ve practiced so little self-restraint, that I’ve let myself spiral out of control not listening to any warnings and not paying attention to what I could lose. This dounds and feels more like why I've been having so much trouble as of late.

~~~

“Dayoung what flowers do you think Melody would like?” I ask while eating lunch, she comes back tomorrow. I can still fix things. I'm not going to just give up like this, I've thought this over for the last week. I'm going to tell Melody and just explain why I said what I said that night.

Dayoung stops eating, looking at me rather bewildered. “What?”

“Flowers, what ones do you think Melody would like?” I ask again, frowning as Dayoung puts her spoon down and purses her lips. “What? I can’t buy her flowers?”

“No, just, I never really thought of you guys as more of a couple until right now.” Dayoung says chuckling. “We can go to a little flower shop, I have a friend that works in one, and she always helps me pick out flowers.” She says as she continues to eat.

I glance around the restaurant, Dayoung agreed to go to lunch with me, and thankfully she came alone. “How did you and Ilhoon get together?” I ask shyly. “I’ve never really heard and well, I want to tell Melody…” I say leading off feeling rather silly for saying any of this allowed.

Dayoung doesn’t giggle or give me an odd look. Instead, Dayoung smiles at me rather happily. “Ilhoon and I started out as really good friends actually; I’d only really met Ilhoon just before I debuted with Prodigy.” She explains. “At first I just kind of admired Ilhoon for how he was, a complete natural at a lot of things, I ended up spending a lot of time with him, then well, it made Junhyung really upset that I’d been drawn into a relationship with him, that I found myself continually being around him.” She says while shaking her head. “It upset Junhyung, before I met Ilhoon it had always been Junhyung.”

“I can’t imagine that you and Junhyung aren’t close,” I say having seen them together. Junhyung definitely dotes on Dayoung, and as far as siblings go I can’t think of anyone closer than those two.

“Junhyung and I are still really close, but our relationship did change. Ilhoon did that. Eventually while I was going a bit crazy because of all the stress and secrets that I’d been keeping from so many people, not to mention realizing just how much I came to like my dear friend, I kind of broke.” Dayoung looks down at her bowl a sad frown on her face. “I can understand Melody’s situation a bit, things inside of us can’t always stay nice and neat, they get twisted, frayed and they can snap,” She says stirring the contents of the bowl slowly. “I think sometimes that those things have to snap sometimes, they have to break a little bit, and sometimes you have to fix them on your own or come to terms with it and other times, other people can help fix them, help mend what broke.” Looking up Dayoung smiles sadly. “But, you asked about Ilhoon and me.”

“That’s why you think Melody left…” I say quietly. “That I’d broken something.” I say feeling the worry I’ve had in my well up. “I think I did too.”

Dayoung nods her head. “Not to say that I’m blaming you, I’m not.” She says softly. “Ilhoon helped me grow, he shielded me from things, and in the end the attraction that had been mutual ended up being the best risk I’d taken. Ilhoon helped fix the little broken pieces of me, showed me that it’s okay to show people who I am, that I have a tragic backstory, I come from a broken past. But that it didn’t make up who I am or would be.”

“Melody has always worried me about that.” I confess. “She can be a bit flighty, and I never wanted to be one of the ones left behind when she decided to go. But this, knowing that she’s gone like this, Hyung had been right.”

“About?”

I let out a song sight before running my hand over my face. “About letting Melody runaway, that it’s better to just tell her.”

“So you do like her.” Dayoung states rather happily. After I nod my head and glance at Dayoung I see her watching me curiously. “You’ve never said it allowed, have you?”

“No, I haven’t.” I say after taking a breath. “Not until now, I like her and it’s been driving me insane for a long time now.” I confess.

“Well let’s get going then,” Dayoung says getting up. Scrabbling after her I catch up with her after her paying for the food and her leading the way to what I’m assuming is the flower shop. “Julia doesn’t hate you, but she said that when she talked to Melody that she was really upset about what you two talked about.”

“I told her I couldn’t be around her; it was starting to hurt more with all the pretending.” I say feeling ashamed. “I ran away too.” I mumble hating all this more and more. I stop and frown. “I said I wasn’t sure how much longer I could be around her, that I didn’t want to pretend anymore.”

“Well, at least you realized that you should act on it.” Dayoung says optimistically. It takes a while, but as we enter the flower shop Dayoung and I stop surprised, her looking rather pleased. “Unnie, it’s good to see you looking so happy,” She says once we’ve been spotted, the girl’s face flushing red. “Sorry, I don’t mean to tease you, and I really am sorry to be interrupting,” She says stepping closer.

“D-D-Dayoung,” The girl says stuttering and stepping a little away from Jin-Sunbae. “Have you met Jin?”

Dayoung nods her head happily. “It’s good to see you again, it’s been a while,” Dayoung says bowing respectively with me following suit quickly. “Jin, this is my friend Mark, Mark this is Jin.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jin says smoothly to me.

After the general shock I manage to gather my head. “You as well Sunbae,” I say respectfully.

Jin shakes his head a smile on his face, “You don’t need to be so formal,” He says casually, “So what are you two buying flowers?”

“For a girl,” Dayoung says easily causing me to blush. “I’ve always loved the flowers you pick for me Hanbyul, would you mind helping Mark pick some for a bouquet?”

“It’s nice to meet you,” She says while walking over to me carefully. “Who are they for?” She asks curiously as she shows me several flowers.

Dayoung ahead of the game answers rather amusedly. “His girlfriend, Melody,” I glance at her shocked, but then quickly remember Jin, and that he in fact is not privy to the information of my relationship with Melody being a sham, at least for now it is, hopefully it’ll be more.

Quietly Hanbyul-sshi and I walk through the store. “I upset her recently; I want to apologize to her.” I confess. “She left on a trip and I want to surprise her when she gets back.” I explain.

“Melody-sshi must be very well cared for then,” Hanbyul says delicately. “Perhaps something with a few large blooms for a peony, and some carnations,” She says plucking a few of the flowers up and putting them together as we walk along, by the time she gets back to the counter and has them arranged, I find myself rather impressed with Hanbyul.

“Perhaps you’d like a card to write a note to Melody-sshi.” Hanbyul suggests as Dayoung takes the bouquet. “I find that often words are a better way to convey feelings clearly, and add a little bit of a personal connection.” She suggests smiling at me happily.

I nod my head very much liking the idea. “Thank you,” I say bowing gratefully. Paying for the flowers and saying our goodbyes, with a blank card in hand along with the flowers Dayoung and I part.

I wanted to make this whole part with Jin a bit more awkward, but
 it just wasn't really working out like I wanted so just a little cameo.
Anyways, as always my little ducks, enjoy!

(P.S. For those of you who don't know, I have four of these stories that all connect in
little ways and the characters all pop up in each other's stories. Some more than others
mostly depending on relationships the characters have with each other.)