I ring the bell on 2PM’s home, I know it’s early, but this is something that needs to be done. I look at Chansung a bit awkwardly as he answers the door. “Sorry, I just, is Nichkhun here?”  I ask as I’m let in.

“Yeah, he’s asleep still, jeez Mel.” Chansung says leading me in. “I’m assuming you know the way.” He mutters while collapsing on the couch.

I head off saying a quick and quite thank-you to Chansung as I head towards Nichkhun’s room. I pass by Junho who’s dressed and heading down. “Morning, I didn’t think we’d be seeing you here.” Junho says stopping to talk.

“Was he angry last night?” I ask letting out a sigh, I’ll definitely have to apologize. Junho nods his head watching me hesitantly, he glances back down the hall and then at me. “Go ahead.” I say quietly feeling the tension rise.

“It’s just, Hyung has been a bit high and low since you guys started whatever,” Junho says slowly. “Whatever you’re here for, just give him some peace.” He says before heading down stairs leaving me in the hall.

I press on keeping this in mind. I tend to forget that not everyone is okay with taking things as they come, going with what they’ve picked, even if it isn’t how they’ve pictured it. I’m sure Nichkhun had something else in mind entirely when we started this, hell he had a bigger idea than I did.

I take a deep breath before entering the room; Nichkhun is asleep on the covers. I walk over and poke him gently, then harder when he simply groans. “Go away, I’m sleeping.” He snaps. I take a seat and wait for him to look. “You didn’t leave.” He grumbles his eyes still closed.

“Not until we talk.” I respond; Nichkhun opens his eyes surprised to see me. “I should have called, but I just left before I could really process what I was doing.” I say giving him time to fully wake up.

“You weren’t happy with me last night.” Nichkhun says slowly. “And now I wake up to you being in my room,” he says slowly looking around, sighing. “You’re going to stop seeing me again.”

“I am,” I agree from my seat. “It isn’t good for you from what I hear, and I’m not sure what I want.” I tell him calmly. “It was wrong for us to try again; I’m not in love with you.” I say watching his reactions very carefully trying to gauge how much I can say before I should leave. “I never gave you the chance to let me go.”

“So you’re just going to drop out of my life?” Nichkhun asks unamused. “Melanie, is this about the fight last night?” He asks quietly.

I shake my head. “It’s about what I realized this weekend. Nichkhun, it is fun being with you and enjoyable, don’t get me wrong, but we shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.” I correct myself. “Not because of Julia, not because it’s you, but because I don’t want to define the relationship, I like the casual , I like the little dates, but I don’t want the emotional link of it. It shouldn’t be like that.” I say quietly. “You should have hated me for leaving like I did.”

“I can’t,” Nichkhun says sounding a bit more miserable than last time I broke up with him. “Like I told you, I could never deny what you wanted. I can’t ask for you to stay, I’m not making you happy.”

“We’ve both changed. You did make me really happy, I did get lost in you, but I’m not quite that girl anymore.” I tell Nichkhun sadly. “I’d been sure of who I was back then, what I wanted, and how I wanted to get all of what I wanted. Now though I’m not so sure of a lot of things and I know I can’t go back to any of what I was, not until I figure out whatever it is that I have going right now.”

“Being famous changes things, puts a lot of things in a different light.” Nichkhun says knowingly. “This feels more definite this time.”

“It is more definite this time.” I agree, I get up to leave, as I reach the door I turn back to look at Nichkhun. While he is still that beautiful, gentleman, smooth, courteous, and intelligent caring person, I know that I am a lot of things that aren’t good for him.

Nichkhun sighs heavily. “It is kind hard loving you, I’m sure Junhyung, Henry, and Himchan can relate. Being this close I can see who you had loved and even who you’re starting to.” He sounds a bit bitter about the latter. “I know you’re not going to see me much anymore, not until you’re sure I’m fine. Just tell me good bye first this time.”

“Bye Sunbae-nim.” I say smiling slightly; I wonder what he means by who I’m starting to love. I’m not really all that interested in anyone right now. I’m more focused on getting everything in my life together.

“Bye Melody.” Nichkhun murmurs back. I take this as my cue to leave, I walk down the hall and tell Chansung and Junho goodbye as well. I walk towards a main road, taking a cab I go to Cube.

I walk in as Ilhoon arrives. “Mel, wait up.” He calls, stopping I smile as he catches up.

“Hey there,” I say smiling at Ilhoon thoughtfully, wondering how he and Dayoung do their relationship, how they handle all of this. I consider for the first time that it’s what they both want, everything that they have.

“It’s been a while,” Ilhoon says as we walk in, I follow along with him. “So tell me, why do you look like you just had a huge upheaval of your life?” Ilhoon says seriously, a worried look as he grabs my arm.

“I kind of did.” I say letting out a sigh. “Ilhoon, fame is a funny thing.” I say wondering why this is what I wanted for the first time, considering why I want to be known by so many people, then again I suppose it’s partly because I don’t want anything else either. “I’m gonna go write.”

Ilhoon nods his head letting me go slowly. “Dayoung has said about the same thing before,” Ilhoon says watching me carefully. “I watched it eat her away; I saw her come to terms with it more or less on her own. It isn’t something that a lot of people can understand, but I think she has a good idea what you’re thinking of.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I say smiling to Ilhoon as I go. I sit in Euphonious’ practice room, grabbing one of the notebooks we keep in the room I start writing a new song, getting out all the unsure and confusing feelings. The way it felt to kiss Mark, but the uncertainty that it presents. I write about how things seem different now that I’ve reached a level of my goal.

“Hey busy bee,” Julia says coming in, she looks at me worriedly. “Mark told me you just left randomly, that you looked kinda troubled.” She says sitting next to me. Julia doesn’t look at my songs or even ask about them, she simply takes the pen from my hand and sets it down. “To be honest, I was worried about how things would go with you and Nichkhun, how it’d turn out this time.”

“Jules, I’m not all that good.” I say quietly trying to figure it all out. “I take and I take, but I hardly give anything out to anyone. I’m greedy, lustful, trouble, and I can hardly pass as an idol.”

“You’re charming, charismatic, optimistic usually, cheerful, and exciting. Mel you’re something new, something old, something interesting all wrapped up in one, of course you have problems, and yeah you have some bad points, but who doesn’t?” Julia says surprising me. “You expect the worst out of a lot of people; you see a fall out instead of the burst of life.”

“I’m going to be hundred percent honest with you,” I say sighing heavily. “Since I got all those lectures from Doojoon and Junhyung last month Mark and I have been more friend-like.” I say quietly. “When I disappeared Mark took me away and let me vent out to him about everything.”

“So then when you both came out of the elevator you weren’t ready to kill each other?” Julia asks frowning. “You both seemed pretty irritated about being stuck alone together for three hours.”

“It was so we could keep us friends, Mark says he has a hard time getting along with me around other people,” I explain leaning into Julia, “Though he really did get pissed about something that night, then well, it’s like we have this common ground that isn’t always there.”

“It sounds complicated.” Julia says chuckling. “Christ, no wonder you’re so stressed.”

I nod my head letting out a tired sigh. “I just want to find my feet again, I want to stand on solid ground, and I like knowing what I want. I like having a plan on how to get what I want.” I say while sitting up. “I’m not doing relationships for a while; they only manage to complicate things for me.” I state washing my hands of the burden.

“Well, aren’t you full of declarations today?” Jules says chuckling. “Come on, we have vocal practice and then dance practice.” I get up welcoming the distraction; I follow behind Julia, holding her hand as we trek through the building.

~~~

I watch Mark feeling particularly amused. “I’m not going to kiss you, if that’s why you’re keeping your space.” I whisper smirking as he blushes.

“I wasn’t avoiding you.” Mark says defending himself.

I smile a bit happily at his reaction, “I never said you were avoiding me, you’re just giving me an awful lot of space recently.” I say motioning to the large gap between us. “I promise to behave,” I tease as he slowly moves a bit closer to me.

“Mark!” Jackson yells, startling both of us I look up to see Jackson entering the room with the others on his tail, Julia and Dayoung meeting us after they pick up Cheonmi. “You’ve been stealing Melody!” He accuses said member as Jackson latches himself onto me.

“I have not,” Mark says annoyed. “She’s here all the time with the others.” He says trying to defend himself, which I find extremely amusing.

“He’s rather good at digging himself into a hole.” I say to Jackson teasingly.

Mark looks at me gaping and turning to Jaebum and Jinyoung for help. “No, no, we’re on her side.” Jinyoung says amusedly watching his bandmate with a bemused expression.

“I find it particularly amusing that you two get along now.” Jaebum says watching us, “Though troublesome.”

While Jinyoung and Jaebum discuss the troubles of Mark and me getting along I continue to tease Jackson and Mark, rather joyously.

“Look at this,” Dayoung says entering the room, holding her hand out to myself, Jackson and Mark. “They’re being bullied and you were worried about Melody.” She says to Cheonmi.

Said girl simply smiles at me. “It’s just you’ve been kinda different lately.” She explains, to which everyone nods their heads to. “I just worry.”

“You’ve spent too much time with Julia,” I say smirking happily. I’ve been a bit more independent as of late. Since I swore off relationships and all complications, I’ve dedicated myself to my career and having friends. “Just got some perspective is all.”

“About what?” Jinyoung asks frowning, “An expert insight on how to tease everyone around you?” He jokes.

I smirk back and nod my head. “Well, and the troubles of kissing boys and all that follows.” I say smirking at his shocked face, Jaebum’s mirrors this.

“You kiss lots of boys?” Mark teases me; I turn to him and pucker my lips at him.

Before either of us can process what is said by the wild and troublesome Jackson to Cheonmi we both blush. “I always thought they’d end up together.”

“Didn’t you hear?” Dayoung says this time. “Melody has sworn off boys as anything more than friends until she’s settled down a bit more.”

“I have,” I tell Jackson a bit proud of myself, mostly just because it’s made me feel better. “I’m not longer stressed out by dating or anything of the likes.”

“So does that mean I don’t get that kiss?” Mark jokes; I turn to him completely surprised. “Hey, just asking.” He teases me, puckering his lips at me before getting up to avoid the pillow I have now in hand.

I settle for hitting Jackson in the side, seeing as Mark has hidden behind him. “Hey, I didn’t say that.” Jackson says shocked as I hit him again.

“Yeah, but you’re an easier target.” I tease happily as I run away from Jackson, hiding behind Jaebum. “Take mercy on me, I’m but helpless mess.” I tease as Jackson swings and misses, well unless he was aiming for Jaebum’s head.

“Ow, what the, Jackson!” Jaebum says grabbing the pillow and hitting said guy. “No more,” He says to me, Jackson and Mark. “Exactly what I meant by them all getting along.”

So begins the friendship of Mark and Melody
Pretty much now in the second phase of what I have planned now.
I hope you guys enjoy c;