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Jessica stood in the elevator, alone, looking at her injured wrist as she held it up.

"I'm sorry..."

The apology replayed in her ears once more and she found herself trying to swallow the tears which had welled up yet again.

"It's painful. It's so painful..." She mindlessly muttered to herself as she closed her eyes, lowering her hand. "...Taeyeon ah..."

***

"I'll prove it to you."

Taeyeon didn't take a second longer, when she saw the blood on Jessica's wrist, to grab the box of tissues on her table and run towards the girl she loved. Her eyes were shining with tears of anger and sadness, as she grabbed the knife off Jessica's hand as threw it to a corner with all her might. "WHAT THE JUNG SOOYEON!" She fumbled as her trembling hands picked out sheets of tissues before pressing them on Jessica's wrist. Jessica didn't move, nor say a word. All she could do, was to look at Taeyeon with tearful eyes, who was trying her best to stop the blood from flowing out of the wound she had just inflicted on herself.

Taeyeon's lips trembled, while one of her hands held Jessica's wrist, the other pressing the tissues, both hands shaking badly. The wound was on Jessica's wrist, but why did it feel like it was inflicted on her heart instead? Taeyeon kept her eyes, which were b with tears, on Jessica's wound, refusing to look at her.

"Taeyeon." Jessica's voice came out as a croak. When Taeyeon stayed exactly where she was, not replying her, and not looking back at her, she called out once more. "Kim Taeyeon."

"Don't..." The first stream of tears flowed down Taeyeon's cheek. "Don't talk... Don't even speak a word... I don't want to listen to anything..."

"Love is..." Jessica maintained her gaze. "...this, Taeyeon ah." This time, Taeyeon's eyes shot up as she looked straight into Jessica's eyes, her tears threatening to fall once more. "Love is...preferring to get hurt this way...than to not have the one you love in your life. Love is letting you leave when you need space, rather than holding onto you with my dear life, thinking that it will be good for you. Love is..." Jessica swallowed her saliva, her tears choking her. "...believing that you will come back to me one day...when you're done being brave... Do you...know...?" The two stayed silent for a while, before Taeyeon spoke up.

"No... No." The older girl shook her head, as she looked away.

"Then... You don't love me." Jessica's words had Taeyeon looking back at her once again, as she pushed Taeyeon's hand away from her arm, letting the bloodied tissues fall to the ground.

"No... It's not that I don't love you... Sica ya you know that I l-"

"I thought that you loved me. It was me deluding myself. It was me thinking that you loved me like how I love you."

"No! I love you more than anything else in this world. More than myself, more than everyone, everything!"

"You thought that you loved me. But you don't. You can't let someone go just like that... If you love her."

"Who do you think you are to decide if I love you or not?!"

"Then who do you think you are to decide for me if I should risk my life for you or not? Why? Am I not worth your courage? Am I not worth anything at all? Why are all of you making decisions for me? Don't I have a say at all?"

"Are you worth anything at all? You're worth everything. Jessica you're worth everything! You worth so much that I can't let my pathetic feelings put your life in danger!"

"What if, what I want is exactly your pathetic feelings? What if that's the only thing I want? What if being alive means nothing to me if I don't have your so-called pathetic feelings?"

"Jessica... Please."

"Even if I can live just one more hour with you, no, make it one minute, provided you're by my side, provided you're still you, I'm contented. If you love me, why would you put me in such pain? Is it because I made you wait for me for two years...? If that's the case, then I can wait for you for two years too, just like how you did for me. But can you promise me that after two years, you'll be the same Taeyeon I knew? My Taeyeon?"

"Sica ya... Please just...stop all these..."

"Don't you get it? Don't you ing get it at all? I loved you for ten years, not ten days. Even though I lost my memories, I still came to love you. Isn't that enough for heaven to tell you that we're supposed to be with each other? Kim Taeyeon, I'm not your ordinary Korean drama idol who's gonna just cry and cry for you to come back to my side. I'm your Jessica, since twelve years ago, and it will never change. I know you're scared. I know how you feel. But Taeyeon, I'm not being rash and irrational when I told you that being with you beats everything else. I don't care if I die. I don't ing care. I just want you by my side, and that's enough. If I end up dying because of you, that's even better. Because I died for someone I love with all my heart. Is there any better reason to die for? Do you even get what I'm saying? I don't care, and I don't mind whatever that happens as long as you're here with me. You're not selfish if you choose to stay with me. You're being selfish only if you're insisting your way of leaving me. I don't understand, Taeyeon... You don't want me to be dead, or to be in any kind of danger. But would you really rather see me living in hell every single day wishing I was dead instead? Taengoo... I know that you're not even trying to make me believe that you're leaving me for the reason that you don't love me any more, because you and I know so ing well that we love each other so much. Shouldn't you...shouldn't you be fighting to stay by my side to protect me, if you think that I'm going to be in danger?"

"You're in danger only because of me... It's not like it's easy for me... Sica ya please...we should just-"

"Don't. Don't ing even tell me what to do. What happened to my Taengoo who would watch over me?"

"She died when you lost your memory. She never should have been in your life..."

"ING HELL TAEYEON! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!" Jessica had already started to raise her voice, and it wasn't a good sign.

"YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS LIKE! DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO SEE THE BLOOD FLOWING NON-STOP?! TO KNOW THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO CAUSED THAT?! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND JESSICA?!"

"THEN DO YOU?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FELT WHEN YOUR BODY WENT LIMP ON ME BECAUSE YOU HAD STUPIDLY DECIDED TO SHIELD ME WITH YOUR OWN ING BODY?! YOU THINK I DON'T UNDERSTAND?! DID YOU SEE WHAT I SAW?! I NUDGED YOU. I NUDGED YOU BUT YOU WOULDN'T RESPOND! I KEPT CALLING YOU. 'BABY', 'BABY', I KEPT CALLING YOU LIKE THAT BUT YOU WOULDN'T EVEN RESPOND TAEYEON AH!" At this point, Jessica was yelling her heart out while her tears continued flowing. "DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR HANDS WERE STILL SO TIGHTLY WRAPPED AROUND ME TO PROTECT ME EVEN WHEN YOU WERE ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS?! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK OF PROTECTING ME? THEN WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHO'S GONNA PROTECT YOU? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK OF ME AND NOT YOURSELF YOU STUPID GIRL?!"

"Because..." Taeyeon's whole body was shaking from the crying. "Because I love you... Jung Sooyeon... Because I love you..."

Taeyeon let out a long sigh, as she sat at her desk. She had let Jessica go, and she was alone, all over again. Casting a look at her drawer, she hesitated for a moment before she took out the blue notebook that Jessica had given to her at the airport.

Taeyeon would have laughed at it, if it wasn't for the situation the two of them were in. Instead, tears filled up her eyes with just that first entry. Taking a deep breath, she flipped to the next page.

Just like that, she continued flipping the pages.

Taeyeon found her heart lighter as she read each and everyday's post that Jessica had written.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Taeyeon knew that the book should have ended with this post, but somehow, her gut feeling made her turn just one more page. And when she was done reading what was on that page, she was clutching the notebook so tightly that her fist was white, her tears dropping non-stop.

Her body acted on its own as she stood up and ran towards the door.

"JUNG SOOYEON! W-WAIT!"

[A/N] I need to thank every single one of you who commented to give me strength, and therefore I replied to every single comment for chapter 27. Thank you, really. I'm happy, and I know that Taeyeon would be happy too, that she has these sincere fans who still love her, although all she did was to be a normal human. I will not talk about this issue any more in my stories, because afterall, we're all here for one thing - fanfictions, right? :)

I know that the only thing that makes you happy in this chapter is the last two sentences? But, to be honest, I enjoyed writing the conversation that TaengSic shared in Taeyeon's office. It was a battle of their emotions. In earlier chapters, Jessica was cool as hell, and at times, it looked like she was indifferent no matter what was being thrown at her. But in this chapter, you probably saw that she was just a human too. There's just that much that she can do, or say, to ease Taeyeon's fears. What do you think? I'm waiting for your comments :)

I'm also promising all of you, again, that I'm not going to discontinue any of my stories, neither am I going to stop writing new stories. We promised, to go a long way together.

​© Sky Blue Tales ✍
I'll uphold the pride of being a Sky Blue Tales author.