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Jessica's eyes were closed, but she couldn't sleep. She had been lying there after Taeyeon was gone, not just from her ward, but also from this country that she was in. She didn't know whether to feel glad, or sad, that she knew this girl so well. Her escape mechanism, she always called it. Taeyeon would always brush her off, when Jessica talked about her escape mechanism, saying that she wasn't like that. But the both of them knew too well that it was the truth. Running away, or choosing to avoid the problem was Taeyeon's reflex whenever she ran into problems or unwanted situations. When she still had Jessica, however, she was denied that freedom to escape. She always found herself in the same position, listening to Jessica saying the same old things to her. "Clench your fist, like that, and face the damned problem. What are you afraid of? You have me. You always have me." Taeyeon would then muster her courage and face the problem, together with Jessica's encouragement.

She loved Taeyeon. Damn, she loved that girl. She decided that she would love her for her whole life, and for every lifetime, if she could. Curling herself up in bed and crying her eyes out the whole day was definitely not something that Jessica Jung would do. That was Claire Janson, and she was already history. Instead of racking her brains to think of what to say to keep Taeyeon by her side, Jessica chose to let her go, temporarily that is. She knew that nothing could stop Taeyeon from leaving if that was what she wanted. Except her really, but even so, there was a certain way to do it. And right now, Jessica believed that letting her go was the way. She had sent Krystal to bug Taeyeon so that the girl would allow her little sister to send her off, and it succeeded.

Jessica knew so well, that when Taeyeon finally decides to come back, the girl wouldn't be running back to her telling her how much she had missed her. The way she knew her, there was even a chance that she would be more prepared than ever to let her go. But it also meant one thing - she would already have had sufficient time to let everything sink in while she was away, instead of being all I-have-to-let-you-go-right-now, and Jessica would just have to strike at the right time. But really, how was it even humanly possible for Taeyeon to ever stop loving Jessica? "Taengoo you're so stupid." She mindlessly muttered to herself. "You're so dumb you took a ruler to bed to see how long I've slept." Jessica laughed at her own joke before she realised how weird she must have looked. "I swear your retardedness is contagious. I'm becoming so weird like you. Argh, I hope you won't take too long." Jessica couldn't help but to sigh. "Because I swear I'm missing you like crazy already and it hurts so bad."

As timely as it was, the door clicked open just when she finished her last word, and Krystal made her way in. Jessica's gaze softened as she noticed her younger sister's red, puffy eyes. Her eyes never left Krystal for a moment. The younger Jung stood a distance from her sister, and then looked at her with sadness in her eyes.

"Jessi... I don't get you." Something in her tone sounded like she was gently reprimanding Jessica. Gently because Jessica was her elder sister, and deep inside, she was afraid of her sister when she was angry.

"Don't get me what?" Jessica raised an eyebrow.

"I don't get how you're all sad this moment and then in the next, you're asking me to send Taeyeon unnie off like she doesn't even matter to you. You weren't like this, Jessi."

"Oh really?" The older Jung's tone was as monotonous as ever. "What was I like?"

"You wouldn't ever, ever, let go of Taeyeon unnie. Not over your dead body. Yet here you are, letting her go just like that. Why did I even decide to tell you the truth...?"

"We had already broken up before you told me the truth." Jessica looked on mindlessly. "So what's your point, Soojung ah?"

"My point is, I don't know what Taeyeon unnie is t..." Krystal's words trailed off as she stared, wide-eyed, at her elder sister. "W-what...? S...Soojung...?" The last time Krystal heard her sister calling her by 'Soojung' was two years ago before the accident, and Jessica who lost her memories after that never knew her Korean name.

"What? You forgot your own name?" A light gust of sarcasm was obvious in Jessica's tone.

"I...never told you my Korean name..." Krystal stuttered, as things slowly started to make sense.

"I knew your Korean name ever since you were born, and I was already five then. Why do I need you to tell me your name?"

This time, Krystal said nothing as she stood where she was, her eyes b with tears. Jessica faked a look of disgust as she stared at Krystal, who looked like she was about to burst out crying at any instant.

"Okay... Okay... Come 'ere." The older Jung extended her arms, but Krystal stood where she was as her tears silently rolled down her cheeks. Jessica blinked a few times as she watched her cry, before she furrowed her eyebrows.

"If you're not in my arms within three seconds, I'm never having you in my arms again. 3, 2..."

Krystal needed no more prompts as she took quick steps and jumped right into her sister's arms, bawling her eyes out. Jessica found herself smiling as she patted the younger one's back. "Hush now little baby. Jessi's back here with you. I'm never leaving you again."

"Y-you...you promise...?" Krystal said in between hiccups, while still holding on to Jessica with her dear life.

"Yes. Yes I promise."

***

"So what are you thinking Jessi...?" Krystal finally asked her older sister, when she had stopped crying.

"What?"

"Taeyeon. Taeyeon unnie, Jessi."

"Uh-huh. What about her?"

"Jessi, why are you being so nonchalant about it? She...she's gone, you know? It's not like she's just a few streets away and you can drive and look her up or something. She's gone. She's no longer here. Are you even...in the situation...?"

"Yes. Yes I know that she's gone. But, why can't I be nonchalant about it? Or do you think that I'm supposed to be bawling my eyes out and starving myself while hiding under those covers? Ah, which just reminded me. I miss my bed."

"Jessi what th-"

"Soojung ah. Actually, you can stop including my name in every sentence. Since when did you love my name so much? Do you wanna switch names with me?" Jessica laughed as she little sister.

"Seriously Je... Ah forget it..."

"Okay okay my baby princess. I was just kidding, okay? Well... About Taeyeon... How should I put it..." Jessica furrowed her eyebrows as she thought hard. "Okay. I think I know just how."

Krystal's eyes sparkled as she sat up straight, cross-legged, opposite Jessica.

"Now Krys. Let me ask you something."

"What?"

"Have you seen Taeyeon crying because the little girl in her neighbourhood lost her mother to a car accident?"

She shook her head.

"How about, have you seen Taeyeon helping Hayeon on her project the whole night and end up skipping sleep despite having work the next day?"

She shook her head.

"Or, have you seen Taeyeon cooping herself up at home and refusing to go to her office for the rest of the week after she overheard one of her subordinates criticising her working style?"

She shook her head.

"Have you seen, then, Taeyeon working her off when the two of us had a really big quarrel so that she wouldn't be reminded of it?"

She shook her head.

"Okay for that, actually, I haven't seen it myself. Tiff was the one who told me about it. But, there you have it."

"Huh...?"

"That's the way she is. I wouldn't say that it's cowardly. Or maybe I just don't bear to put that name on her. But that's her. She finds it easier to run away when she meets problems. And she meets even more problems than she should, when she puts people before herself. I wasn't quite approving of this, though. Whenever she wanted to run away, I'd always hold her and tell her 'you can't'. We fought a lot over this, initially, until she realised that running away is never a solution. But even so, she still had the tendency to run away whenever I was not around. She's so..." Jessica laughed slightly as she thought about the right words to say. "So...cute."

"Then... Why aren't you stopping her this time round...?"

"Krys. Sometimes, loving someone isn't about keeping her close to you all the time. Sometimes, it's knowing when to let her go."

"But Jessi... You... You're letting her go...? Just... Just like that...?" Jessica laughed and shook her head at her little sister.

"No, silly. Never and ever. At least not the way you're thinking I am."

"I don't get it... Just, what do you mean?"

"I bet you guys are pressuring her a lot. Tiff herself would have probably given Taeyeon a whole lot of stress, given the way I know her. She's so persistent sometimes that I really need to stop her. But, my point is, this time, Taeyeon needs to run away."

"H-huh...?"

"I didn't quite understand how she was feeling when I was still...Claire. But now that my memories are all back, I understand. Every single part of it. She's traumatised, Krys. She's very very traumatised. And you know what's worse? None of you actually knows how it feels like. So I can't be like the rest of you. I'm her Jessica and I'm gonna act like one. Right now, she doesn't need me, or you, or Tiff, or anyone else. She needs to be alone. She needs to run away. You guys begging her to stay isn't helping her a single bit. She's scared, so scared right now, and it's making her even more scared because she's gonna feel like you guys are trapping her inside this already suffocating situation."

"Jessi..."

"It makes a whole lot of difference, the fact that I've been loving her for the past twelve years. Okay, minusing the time when I was Claire. But hey, I came to love her too. So yes, twelve years. That girl is stubborn, and there's a way to deal with her. Most of the time, it's easy to hold her down and stop her from running away. Just not this time, really."

"Sis you know... She's not even here any more. What even makes you so sure that you're gonna have another chance to see her? She may just not come back and...and then..." The older Jung let out a slight smile, looking at Krystal's worried face.

"She's gonna be back. Trust me. I'm just not sure how long she'll take this time. But I'll wait. She has waited for me for two long years. I can do the same for her."

By now, Krystal was utterly amazed by her sister, and the love that her sister and her Taeyeon unnie shared. It suddenly dawned on her that Jessica was right. It did make a whole lot of difference. All the rest of them wanted to do was always to bring the two of them back together, regardless of the situation. They, or at least she herself, had overlooked what Taeyeon really needed at that point in time. Yes, Jessica was right indeed. Taeyeon really needed to run away. Their love was...beautiful, all of a sudden. Unknowingly, she started smiling. "Jessi."

"Hmm?" It was this casual expression on Jessica's face that Krystal had missed, so much.

"You're amazing. I just...wanna tell you how much I've missed you, even though you were technically with me throughout these years."

"Don't be all dramatic and emotional on me now baby Jung." Jessica chuckled and earned a gentle punch from her little sister. "Krys." The laugh faded as she looked straight into Krystal's eyes. "Honestly, I missed you."

***

It was a month after Taeyeon had left.

"Argh. The hassle." Jessica looked at her new passport as she stood outside the passport agency. When she re-read the name 'Jessica Jung' on the passport, she found herself smiling. "Jessica Jung, welcome back."

She kept the passport before whipping out her phone, scrolling through her contacts until it reached 'Tiffany ^^'. It didn't take long before she heard the girl's voice on the other end.

"Hey babe!"

"Hey Tiff. Whatcha doin'?"

"Me? Nothing much. Lazing around in the office. I'm feeling lazy today."

"Really? That's perfect. Come on out and meet me."

"Now?"

"Yes now. I'm feeling lazy too."

"Then, how about a cup of coffee?"

"Sounds like a great idea. I'll meet you at our regular cafe in an hour. Don't make me wait for you."

"Demanding, as usual. I'll see you there. Love you babe!"

"Love you too, Tiff."

A hour passed by quickly, and Tiffany found herself waiting for Jessica at the cafe. The girl was late. It was an all too familiar scene. Jessica was actually already in the vicinity, but she just felt like she had to be late, or it wouldn't feel right. She only stepped into the cafe fifteen minutes after.

"You're late." Tiffany pretended like she was upset.

"I'm always late."

"No you're not. Since when?"

"Oh cut it out. Let's order."

"Haha I hate you. Caramel macchiato for you right? I'll go get it."

"No wait Tiff." Jessica stopped Tiffany before she even got to stand up. "Let me."

Jessica returned shortly with two iced Americanos and had Tiffany raising an eyebrow. "Woah, what's the occasion for iced Americano?"

"Don't make it sound like I hate it."

"You don't. But it's not something you'll drink unless I buy it for you, isn't it?"

"Okay, now, Tiff." Jessica didn't answer her question, and instead, an odd expression took over her face.

"Uh... Yeah...?"

"I'm always late, and I love iced Americanos."

"S-sorry...?" Tiffany furrowed her eyebrows, confused at what she had just heard.

"Don't you get it?"

"Get what...? That you're acting weird?"

"How about, that I'm someone you're very familiar with? Someone who's always late during coffee dates, someone who loves iced Americano, someone who goes on crazy shopping trips with you, someone who spends an insane amount of time on online catalogues with you." Tiffany's eyes were slowly widening as she continued listening. "Someone who goes to your office at any time, and uses your computer as if your office's a LAN gaming centre. And..." Tiffany waited, with agape, to hear what Jessica was going to say next. "Someone whose name happens to be Jessica Jung instead of Claire Janson?"

Tiffany didn't say a word, as she continued staring at Jessica, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Yes I know I look young for my age, I know I look stunning. Well, that's why I call myself GorJess isn't it. But really, you don't have to keep staring at me this way. Do you want my signature or something? Or a photo with me?" Jessica tilted her head slightly to her side as she let out a cheeky smile.

"Je... Jessi..." The word came out of Tiffany's mouth weakly, and Jessica found herself laughing.

"Oh how I missed that. The way you call me 'Jessi' is so different from Krystal. I can never get enough of it."

"I... You remembered...? Everything...?" Tiffany's voice was shaking.

"Uh. No. I'm actually just Claire who bothered to do a lot of research on Jessica to know that you once ran from the bathroom to my room, , to grab your towel because you forgot to bring it in. And you thought that I was watching the TV but you didn't know that I was actually watching you. I laughed so hard that I almost fell off the couch. Yeah this is written somewhere in Wikipedia, I believe." Jessica said monotonously and Tiffany found herself unable to hold back from laughing, even though she was crying.

"Oh my gosh... When was it? When did you remember it all?"

"The day before my beloved, and stupid, girlfriend left me in this country." Tiffany's smile faded when she heard what her friend said.

"Jess..."

"Don't worry about it. I'm okay. She's just being stupid, for now." This time, Tiffany's smile returned.

"You know, I missed you."

"Yes, everyone does."

"Are you not gonna tell me that you missed me too?"

"What. Your loud voice? No thank you."

"Jessi!"

"Haha I'm kidding. Of course I missed you. Why else would I be here now?"

"Then... Taeyeon..." Jessica let out a sigh when she heard her girlfriend's name again.

"I just hope she'll be back soon... I...miss her." This was the first time after Jessica had regained her memories that she admitted to someone for missing Taeyeon.

"She's safe, in case you're worried... But she didn't say when she's coming back..."

"I know she went to France for a while, and then to Korea, and now she's in Japan. In fact, I know exactly where she's staying now and all. So I know she's safe there. I'm not worried about her safety. But I kinda want her back, right now."

"Woah." It was all Tiffany could say. She wasn't expecting Jessica to be so well-informed about Taeyeon's whereabouts.

"I'm her guardian angel, you know." Jessica winked.

"Guardian yes, angel no. But anyway, you surprise me, really. Most people would be worried sick by now, and would probably be trying to force their lovers back to their side. But here you are, smiling, drinking coffee with me. Yet, it's not because you don't care. It's because you know too well."

"That's the result of being in love with someone for so long. Ah, the agony of being stuck with that little kid for so long." The slightly older girl let out a fake sigh.

"You know you wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else, Jessi." Tiffany said, while gently squeezing her friend's arm.

"That's true. And oh gosh yes Tiff. I need to tell you what happened that day when Taeyeon insisted on leaving me, or leaving Claire, whatever. I swear you'd never believe she could say such hurtful words. It caught me off guard that I actually snapped at the end, despite knowing why she was acting that way."

"Gosh. Like what?! Tell me about it!"

***

Two months. Two long months since Taeyeon had left this place. She took off her sunglasses, taking a good look at her surrounding. No, she wasn't over Jessica yet. In fact, she knew that she would never be. The reason why she took time off, was because she felt like she could do with some breathing space, in this suffocating situation. Afterall, she loved Jessica too much to ever be able to let go of her. She knew, too, that Jessica would understand the love she felt for her, someday, when her memories return. By then, she might have already found someone new.

Taeyeon shook off those thoughts, which were too painful to even imagine. She tightened the grip on the handle of her luggage, as she proceeded to head for the taxi stand. Butler Jo wasn't there to fetch her, since no one knew about her arrival, or at least, she thought that no one knew. But she couldn't have been more wrong. She had only barely took a step forward, when a voice sounded behind her. A voice too familar.

"Kim Taeyeon, hi."

[A/N] Not Jessica's point of view, but this chapter portrays a whole lot of her thoughts. I hope you enjoyed it, because I did, a lot :) I simply love this Jessica, I can't stress enough. For those who didn't catch my hint(s) in the earlier chapter(s), I hope this one explains it better. If you have any questions/doubts, ask away in the comments! If you don't have any questions, still, I hope you'll drop me a comment because it gives me a lot of strength, really. If you want the appearance of certain people or scenes, let me know. I'll fit it in if it's possible :)

Also, this story is coming to an end really soon. And because I love you readers so much, I'd love to keep in touch with you through my stories. They're basically all TaengSic stories, as of now. 'The Silver Guardian' is the new AU drama I'll be writing after 'The Broken Puzzle, just fyi. I'll put up the links below so that you can check it out, alright? :)

Listen To The End - One-shot, fluff; Completed
Letters: Dear Jessica - Multi-shot, angst; Completed
Letters: Dear Taeyeon - One-shot, TBC; In Progress (Sequel to Letters: Dear Jessica)
Mesdemoiselles The Trilogy - Trilogy; In Progress
The Silver Guardian - Drama, fantasy; In Progress
Unfortunately, I Need You - One-shot, angst; In Progress

© Sky Blue Tales ✍