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Claire paced up and down, while she constantly checked her phone.

Claire bit on her teeth as she mustered her courage to knock on the door of Taeyeon's studio, where she could hear music blasting inside. She didn't believe that Taeyeon was in her office. Her gut feeling just told her that the girl she loved was right inside the studio.

There was no response as the music continued blasting, possibly draining the sound of her knocks. Determined, she knocked even harder this time round that her knuckles hurt. She was slightly glad when the music stopped. Whoever was inside definitely heard her. She patiently waited and indeed, it wasn't long before a click sounded, as the door was unlocked and it swung open. Claire wasn't sure if she was glad, or upset, when Taeyeon's shocked face came to view.

The shorter girl stared at her with agape. Just barely a while ago, she had told the girl that she was in her office, and right at this moment, she was caught in her own studio. "I..." She wanted to explain, but she could barely say anything. "Aren't you inviting me in?" Claire's calm tone scared her, as she had expected the girl to fly into a rage. "Y-yeah... Come on in..." Taeyeon stuttered as she moved aside to let the girl in, before she locked the door and followed behind her.

Claire took a seat on the floor, leaning against the mirror, and Taeyeon did the same, finding a spot beside her. An awkward silence engulfed the room as neither of them talked. Taeyeon couldn't find the courage to say anything, while Claire didn't know what to say. Taeyeon wanted to offer an explanation somehow, but she couldn't think of how to phrase it. She knew that whether or not the girl beside was Claire or Jessica, she loved her all the same. But the possibility that they could be the same person was haunting her and in fact killing her bit by bit and she just didn't know what to do. If Claire was indeed Jessica, then her beloved Jessica was alive, then she could continue loving the girl she had loved for the past 12 years. If Claire was just Claire, then she would just move on, and focus and start on a new life with Claire. What was so difficult? She didn't know what exactly was so difficult either. She just wanted to escape from everything. She just wanted to be right where she and Jessica had been before the accident happened.

Taeyeon was so involved in her thoughts that she had almost forgotten that there was someone sitting beside her. "Taeyeon." The girl turned to look at Claire, slightly in shock, but Claire wasn't looking at her, instead, she was just staring at the floor in front of her. There was something in her tone that worried Taeyeon. It wasn't a threatening tone, or a disappointed one, or an angry one. She just couldn't pinpoint what it was, but it was worrying her. A hell lot. Taeyeon's eyes didn't leave the girl, even though the girl didn't do the same.

"I'm really lacking. Isn't it?" Disappointment. Taeyeon could finally sense it. It was a sense of disappointment. But it hurt Taeyeon, when she realised that Claire wasn't disappointed in her. The person she was disappointed in, was Claire herself. The Claire who didn't do anything wrong. Everything and anything wrong was with Taeyeon, not Claire, and Taeyeon knew it so well. Yet, she couldn't say a word, and all she could do was to keep looking at Claire. She realised how tired she looked, something she had not been taking note since she had been avoiding her for a while now. Those dark circles and eyebags under Claire's eyes, and the slight puffiness that hinted her that she probably had been crying. Taeyeon somehow knew that she probably was the reason why she cried.

"I was so clingy, so insecure. It must have been revolting." Claire continued. For some reason, her words pierced through Taeyeon's heart, and Taeyeon found herself biting hard on her teeth, trying to keep her tears in. She was hurting Claire so much. She was being such an . The worst thing was, Taeyeon knew all of that. She didn't agree with whatever Claire said. Claire wasn't being clingy and insecure. She was the one who made her feel insecure. She was the one who made her feel that she had to cling onto her so that she wouldn't run away. And hell no, it wasn't revolting. It must have been revolting for Claire, to have to tolerate someone like her. Taeyeon wanted to hold her tight, to tell her all that was on her mind, but no words came out. She was still there, just blankly looking at Claire with her teary eyes.

"You can't trust me, right?" It didn't quite sound like a question, it sounded more like a statement. Claire sounded so defeated, so torn.

"You started dating me because I looked like your ex girlfriend. And nothing more. I was lucky only because I looked like her..." Taeyeon processed the words she had just heard and she couldn't look at Claire any more as she tore away and looked to the front instead. It might have been true that Claire attracted her attention initially because she looked like Jessica. But Taeyeon knew that she had really came to like the girl as she was, given how different she was from Jessica but she still ended up liking her all the same.

"But I'm not her. And I'll never be. And you know that..." The first stream of tears flowed down Taeyeon's cheeks and she turned to look at the other direction so that Claire wouldn't see. She didn't know why she was crying. Whether was it because Claire pointed out the fact that she would never be Jessica, or was it because it pained her so much to see Claire hurting so badly.

"But... Taeyeon..." Taeyeon could hear Claire's voice shaking now, and her heart wrenched.

"I can be her..." Taeyeon clenched her fist as the tears were now flowing endlessly. "...if it means that you will stay..." This was it. Taeyeon couldn't keep it in any longer and she turned to face Claire and cupped her neck with her hands, her lips crashing into hers. She tasted the saltiness from the tears that she didn't know the girl was crying. Claire didn't respond, as her lips were shut tightly, although trembling, trying to stop herself from crying. Taeyeon pulled away and rested her forehead on Claire's, as she let her tears flow, her hands still on the girl's neck. "I'm sorry... Claire I'm... I'm so sorry..." She forced herself to say, between the breaths she took in while crying so badly. "Don't say those things... Please don't say those things... I don't need you to be her..."

"But...but you can't...you can't love me if I'm not her..." Claire said in between hiccups. "Gosh no... No.... No Claire no... I..." Taeyeon wished that someone could take away her heart at that moment. Each time Claire said something, it was like she plunged a knife right through her heart. She wondered if that was what Claire was feeling from the hurt that she had been giving her. "Taeyeon... Do you...do you know how much I love you..." Claire was now sobbing uncontrollably and Taeyeon pulled her into her arms, as she tightly grabbed the back of Taeyeon's shirt. "G-Give me some time Claire... I promise you that I'll love you right... I'm sorry for being such an ..." Taeyeon had decided there and then, that she would give up finding out if Claire was Jessica, because it didn't matter any more. Whether was she Claire or Jessica, she knew that her heart was with this girl right before her. She couldn't bear to hurt her any more.

"Don't call yourself an ..."

Taeyeon swallowed her saliva down hard when the memory attacked her once again. 'No, move on Taeyeon, move on.' She bit hard on her teeth as she reminded herself internally, and she tightened her arms around Claire, the girl she swore she would protect from that moment on.

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