- Taeyeon's POV -

"I'm tired. I'm so sick and tired of all these." I kept silent and looked far away as Claire finally couldn't take it any longer. "Do you know how difficult it is to hold onto you...?" Her voice was shaking, and so was my heart. It pained me a lot to know that I was still hurting her. I really didn't mean it. I thought I could ignore everything and just...love Claire as she was but...the moment I saw the message she received from someone named Krys, it got me again. I already tried my hardest to keep it all in, but I don't deny that I wasn't being myself.

I couldn't find an answer to her question. I couldn't even open my mouth to say anything. I was sorry, and even more than just sorry.

"Are you going to stay quiet like this...?"

"..." What was I supposed to say...?

"What did I do? Just what did I do to deserve this?"

"..."

"Tell me. What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing." I managed to mutter.

"Nothing? I told you that I could be your Jessica. But you said no. You said you wanted me to be me. And when I listened to you, I get this same old again! So what is it that you want?!"

"..."

"And you're keeping quiet again?"

"..."

"Say something Kim Taeyeon!"

"What do you want me to say?!" I didn't know why but I started to raise my voice in frustration. I wasn't angry with her. I really wasn't... I was just frustrated with everything that was on my mind. But I lost control of my emotions. I totally lost control.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS TRYING TO HOLD ON TO YOU SO DESPERATELY?"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU AREN'T TELLING ME!"

"CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE?"

- Story view -

Jessica's frown faded as sadness was shown all over her face. She was so torn, by her very own girlfriend.

"Let you be...? Meaning...you want me to set you free...?"

Taeyeon looked into Jessica's eyes in shock when she heard those words. Of course not, I'd never want to lose you, Taeyeon thought. But she couldn't say anything again, as she stood rooted to the ground.

"You know what... I get it. I love you so much, Taeyeon. But I guess sometimes...no matter how deep my love is, it won't work if it's one-sided. I hate to let you go... But...let's break up." With tears in her eyes, Jessica looked at Taeyeon one last time before she turned to go.

Completely in shock, Taeyeon's body decided to salvage the situation for its owner. She took quick steps to catch up and pulled hard at Jessica's arm, making her girlfriend face her again.

"Let go." Jessica tried to yank her hand free but Taeyeon held tight. "I said, let go!"

Taeyeon didn't let go. Instead, with another tug, Jessica was pulled towards her and Taeyeon let go to hold her girlfriend's face as she leaned forward to kiss her. Jessica wasn't going to let her get her way. She struggled but Taeyeon wouldn't let go. With all of her strength, Jessica managed to push Taeyeon away as she raised her hand, ready to give her one tight slap.

Taeyeon closed her eyes as she waited for the slap. She wasn't going to hide. She deserved that slap and she knew it. She wondered why it took her so long to feel the impact and when she finally felt Jessica's hand, she flinched as a reflex to being hit. But she opened her eyes in surprise when instead of a stinging slap, she felt a soft touch. She swallowed her saliva when she saw the tears which were threatening to fall from Jessica's eyes. Jessica had really wanted to slap her, but she couldn't. She could never bring herself to hurt the girl she loved with all her heart.

"Is that...all you can do...Taeyeon? Kissing me and saying sorry every time something happens...?" Taeyeon bit hard on her teeth as tears started welling up in her own eyes. She said nothing, but she shook her head. "You...need to give me a reason to hold onto us...Taeyeon... I guess we're just...not meant to be..." Taeyeon kept her eyes fixated on Jessica's. Every cell within her wanted to hold the girl tight, but she couldn't move, nor say anything. Her tears finally fell, when Jessica leaned in and gently kissed her forehead.

"I...wish you happiness..." Jessica forced herself to smile, before she let go and turned away to leave. She felt Taeyeon holding her arm from behind yet again.

"Taeyeon... I told y-" When she could feel the hand slide down from her arm to her hand, followed by a soft thud, she turned back to look in shock. It broke her. It completely broke her to see Taeyeon kneeling down, with her head hanging low. Jessica found her vision to be blurred by the tears as she could feel Taeyeon tightening her hold on her hand, very desperately.

"Don't...go..." Taeyeon couldn't even control herself as she started sobbing. Jessica found herself kneeling down in front of Taeyeon and pulling the girl into her arms. "Give me one more chance... Please don't go..."

"I hate it when you do this to me...Taeyeon... I'm not going anywhere..."

***

Taeyeon had taken a much shorter time this time round to push everything to the back of her mind. She had reminded herself that what had made her decide not to find out about Claire's real identity the other time was that whether was it Claire or Jessica, it was love she was feeling. She must not hurt Claire again. She had asked for one more chance and it was given to her. She wasn't going to let it go down the drain again.

For Taeyeon, it was a normal day out with Claire and Tiffany, and for Tiffany, it was a not so normal day out with Jessica and Taeyeon. It wasn't quite a good thing that Tiffany knew the truth though, because the muddlehead had more than one incident where she almost let the cat out of the bag.

They were at their new favourite restaurant, new as in the one Tiffany, Taeyeon and Claire liked, rather than the one Tiffany, Taeyeon and Jessica liked. Taeyeon knew that Claire liked cucumbers, and was about to feed her with it when Tiffany tugged at her arm and asked her "what are you doing?!", earning weird stares from both girls. "She likes cucumbers. What are you saying Tiff?" "Oh... I forgot..." She didn't forget that Claire liked cucumbers, it was more of her forgetting that it was supposed to be Claire, not Jessica.

Another instance, Tiffany was walking behind because she was busy using her phone, and when she saw the new accessories from Chanel's mobile catalogue, she screamed. "Jes..." Both girls turned around and when Tiffany realised that she made a slip of the tongue, she quickly changed her words. "Jacintha...? Oh. I thought it was Jacintha." She randomly pointed at someone who had walked past them.

"Who's Jacintha?" Taeyeon asked, raising an eyebrow.

"T-that one. She was my own friend, not our mutual friend! Forget it let's go!"

Taeyeon only gave her a weird look before brushing it off and Tiffany heaved a sigh of relief.

***

Hearing taps on the reception desk, the receptionist looked up, and a familiar someone beamed a familiar eye-smile. "Should I?" She placed her hand on the telephone while asking, and Tiffany knew exactly what she was asking - whether she would like her to tell Young Miss Kim about her arrival. "Nope. Don't. I'm gonna surprise her. Anyway, here's some awesomeness for you guys! Go share it around with the other staff alright?" Tiffany passed the receptionist a huge bag of pastries. "Thank you! You really shouldn't have Miss Tiffany. You're always bringing us food." Tiffany just flashed her eye-smile before she made her way to the lift.

The best friend rule said that she didn't have to knock, or indicate her arrival in any ways, unless the receptionist told her about any guests beforehand. Sneakily, she turned the door knob as quietly as she could. She was holding back a laugh when her Young Miss Kim best friend had her chair turned to the other side, and she could see her putting her legs high up on one of the levels of the shelf behind her desk.

"How ladylike our Young Miss Kim is." Her sudden voice shocked Taeyeon whose elbow slipped off the armrest of her chair, causing Tiffany to laugh really badly.

"What is your problem Tiffany Hwang? Don't you know how to knock?" An annoyed Taeyeon swung her chair around as she turned to face her best friend.

"I thought we established the no knocking rule?"

"I'm sorry but it was you, not we. Anyway, what brings you here?"

"What do you think this is?" Tiffany smiled as she lifted a smaller plastic bag which Taeyeon immediately recognised as her favourite Hong Kong pastries.

"AH GOOD FOOD. BRING IT TO ME BRING IT TO ME." She sat up straight and extended her arms like a kid.

"Oh my gosh please don't ever let your staff see this side of you. It's disturbing."

"Buzz off I'm not saying thanks for this." Taeyeon snatched the bag over when it was within reach.

Soon, Taeyeon and Tiffany were sitting at the couch, enjoying the pastries.

"Oh this is soooooo good. Did you buy a lot for the staff again?"

"I bought, but not a lot."

"We have to help you redefine "a lot". You bought enough for everyone the other time."

"That's not a lot. It was barely enough for everyone."

"I can't win you. How much was it? I'll pay."

"Oh please Taeyeon. Save it. It wasn't very expensive."

"I heard from my secretary that it probably cost $3000 or something when you had people deliver a box to each of them the other time. You call that "wasn't very expensive"?"

"They deserved the good food. Okay Taeyeon. Why not we stop talking about this? You're killing my appetite for this awesome food."

"Talking about awesome food, I bet Sooyoung will fly over if she knew that you bought this today."

"She won't."

"Why?"

"I dropped by her place and gave her a box just now."

"Seriously Tiffany. Are you Santa Claus or something?"

"Okay anyway... I'm sorry for dampening the mood or something... But I was really curious about something and I didn't remember it until a few days ago."

"What?"

"It's about...Jessica. Can I ask...?"

"Yeah you can. Don't worry, just ask."

"What actually happened during that accident? I never dared to ask in detail. But now that I see you slowly moving on with Claire I thought I might as well..."

"Ah... Well... Jess was driving that day. We were actually gonna buy our rings."

"Rings? A new pair?"

"Actually...our wedding rings..."

"... Oh my gosh. You guys had plans on getting...married at that time?"

"Yeah... I don't really know what happened. Jessica was a safe driver, you know it too. It happened too fast. I only felt the impact and when I opened my eyes, Jessica was unconscious and her head was bleeding a lot."

"Uh-huh..."

"I was really glad when I shook her awake. And then I managed to get out and I rushed to her side to get her out but her leg was stuck. I remember the oil was leaking and I was really desperate. Somehow I pulled her out. But before we could even go far, I saw some sparks near the leak and I knew the car was about to blow and I..."

"Uh-huh?!"

"I shielded her with my body. And I remember feeling pain like I never did before. It was...excruciating. I really felt like I was probably dying. And then I out. And when I woke up, Jessica was gone."

"Did you just say that you...shielded her with your body...?" Tiffany stared at Taeyeon with her eyes wide open.

"I... There was nothing else I could do. Jess was really weak. You didn't even see the blood that was flowing from her head. She wouldn't have the energy to escape. I couldn't think more too... Although I guess, even if I did, I probably would have just done the same thing."

Taeyeon did not even hesitate to protect the girl she loved, yet...the Jungs hid the fact from her that Jessica was alive to...protect Jessica? Then what about Taeyeon who didn't mind throwing her life away? Tiffany couldn't help but to feel the pain yet again. Do you know that the girl whom you love so much is actually so near to you? Tiffany really wanted to tell her.

[A/N] This chapter is more of a filler, but it contained important points that I need for the rest of the story. So don't forget the little points here and there! If I'm to give you a little bit of a teaser, then it would be "one more chance". I bet you don't understand what I'm saying now, but you will! Soon! (I hope)

Anyway, I felt that I didn't phrase my question properly the other time. I guess what I really wanna know is:
If you were Taeyeon, would you really want to know that Claire is Jessica? What if being your girlfriend (or Taeyeon's girlfriend) actually endangers her life? That means, if you know that Claire is Jessica, you will be reminded that the reason she became like this was your fault. Would you still want to know Claire's real identity? Let me know please? :)

© Sky Blue Tales ✍