“On a scale of one to LuKai, how important is Sehun to you?”

“Wha—” Jongin quirks an eyebrow and gives Luhan a weird look. “Yah, what are you talking about? LuKai? What the is that?”

Luhan automatically raps the back of Jongin’s head. “Language, kid.” He states plainly. His strict face suddenly softens and brightens when he remembers the question. “That’s our pairing name~ and, if you’re asking where in this world did Kai come from, well, I don’t have an idea. That’s your name in my contacts by the way.”

Horror is etched all over Jongin’s features at Luhan’s answer. Seriously though, he should be used to it by now. They’ve been ‘working together’ since he kidnapped and blackmailed this deer-looking guy. He knew, back then, that it would be the greatest and the worst decision he ever made in his life. Only today, Jongin thinks, Luhan is showing him the latter. “What are you? A fanboy of sorts?” Jongin explicitly shows his distaste by feigning to vomit.

When Luhan glares at him, Jongin is quick enough to change the topic. “Anyway, what was the first question?”

“Kids...” Luhan shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m asking you how important that kid is,” Luhan points at the opposite shop, where Sehun and his Minseokiee are having their bubble tea. “Because I’m starting to hate you for certain reasons. Number one,” He brings up his index finger. “I didn’t know that I should be available twenty-four/seven.” He grits his teeth because his control is slipping away, just like his sanity, especially now that his Minseokiee is actually dating someone (well, if you can call it like that). “I need to study too, you know?”

“Ha!” Jongin snorts. “You have guts to complain about that when I’m the one who’s doing your assignments? Hell, I don’t even do mine--”

“Yah, language!” Luhan raps Jongin’s head again. “And mind you that it’s a part of our deal. I’m doing my share so do yours. This is not what I’m expecting to do though. I didn’t know that stalking, which is the second reason, by the way, is under the job description.”

“Nah~ this is just for tonight. I think this is our reward for practically acting like their cupids. Be grateful,” Jongin glances at Luhan. “You’re the first person that came into my mind when I overheard those two.” He wiggles his eyebrows to which Luhan answers by punching him playfully on his arm.

“Psh...You...”

“Anyway, let’s go back to the topic, shall we?” He pinches Luhan’s cheek, totally disregarding the seething look he’s being given. Luhan fights back by slapping him, but he’s fast to avoid it. He lets his hand fall to his lap and stares at it for a second or so. Playing with the hem of his shirt, he says, “I don’t know if I should tell you this but I don’t think that scale is enough because—” He takes a deep breath, then releases it slowly. “You see, I used to have a brother...”

What does that have to do with Sehun? Luhan thinks, but he doesn’t voice it out because there’s something in Jongin’s countenance that’s stopping him.

Jongin bites his lips, deliberating whether he should say something or not. He can keep it all to himself, but somehow he can’t see any harm in letting Luhan know. It happened a long time ago, maybe it’s alright now. Jongin muses. I think I’m fine.

“His name was Jonghun, and he...”

“Jongin, you’re the hyung here, so I’m expecting you to take a good care of Jonghun,” the five-year old Jongin heard his father call out from his bedroom door.

His mother sat at the end of his bed and patted the place next to it. Jongin slinked to that spot. He should have sensed that they’d be talking about a serious matter but he was clueless.

“You know that Jonghun has always been in the hospital, right?” She turned slightly to face her son. She waited for Jongin to nod, and then spoke once more. “Well, Dr. Suho told us that Jonghun can finally stay home.”

A large grin spread across his chubby face. Clapping his hand in delight, he asked excitedly, “Really?”

“Yes.” His mother nodded and shared the same smile as Jongin. “But remember,” she looked deeply at him. “You have to be careful when you’re playing with him.”

“Why?”

“It’s because he has a weak heart.”

Jongin traces small circles on the long table in front of him. The convenience store in which they are is suddenly too silent for his liking. “I didn’t know that my mother’s warning was that important.”

“Why did you let your brother run with those kids?” His father was seething with anger while squeezing him by his arms. Tears were rolling relentlessly down Jongin’s cheeks and he couldn’t understand why his father was infuriated. He had never been scolded this harshly before.

“Honey,” with the corner of his eye, he saw his mother come out of his brother’s room. “Stop that. Let go of him.”

“No,” his father said firmly. “This kid needs a beating.”

And for the first time in his life, Jongin was punished. It wasn’t the last one, though.

Despite being constricted by sickness, Jonghun had always been a free-spirited child. His mind was full of wonders, and the white walls of his hospital room failed to restrain his imagination. Because of that, he tended to forget his limitations that always send him back down to bed.

“And I began to hate him for that.” Jongin purses his lips in disdain, annoyed with himself in spite of the years that have passed. “Aside from getting all the slaps and whacks for him, back then, I felt like he was stealing everything from me.”

He had searched everywhere for his crayons, with no luck. He stood up, shaking off the dusts on his clothes accumulated from kneeling and reaching for places he knew would be impossible for him to misplace the box.

“Mama, where are my crayons?” he asked his mother, who happened to pass by his room.

“Ah,” she balanced the laundry basket on her hip. “I had your brother borrow it for a while.”

Lower lip jutting out, he stomped out of his room and went straight to the room opposite his. As soon as he pushed the door open, a messy room greeted, floor littered with pieces of paper and broken crayons. He didn’t hear the cheery voice that said, "hi hyung," for he was enraged by the damage done on his property.

He couldn't make himself stop. He yelled at Jonghun until the innocent kid cried and ran to their mother who chided him later on.

Luhan rests his forearm on the table and distracts himself with the cup of noodles he bought earlier. “Why would you think that?” he asks deliberately before staring at Jongin.

Jongin shrugs his shoulders. He looks so lost and lonely right now, but he’s completely unaware of it. And for once, Luhan thinks, he looks his age. “I was selfish.” He smirks, then slightly shakes his head, remembering what Sehun had said about him before. “I am selfish.”

He realized that they—his parents—were starting to spend most of their time on his brother. Little by little, he felt like he didn’t exist in their world any longer. At first, he thought that they were only busy with their works and whatnot, but he easily gave up on that idea. The actual reason was loud and clear anyway.

“Not now, dear,” his mother dismissed him as quickly as he ran to her, one day. “We're sort of busy at the moment. You see, your brother-”

He struggled not to look hurt or anything, but inside he knew he was nothing but that. He crumpled the paper he was hiding behind his back and slowly walked away to wash the red tint on this hand. The smiley face stamped on him looked like it was crying and bleeding, as he let the water erase it.

Eventually, he gave up trying.

His prized possession was his RC airplane that he never dared to open, because his father told him that they'll only play with it when he's older. So, when he got home to find his father and Jonghun already playing with it, he couldn't fight back the tears. He bolted to his room and locked himself in it.

“Jongin hyung,” Jonghun's meek voice was muffled behind the door. “Please, don't be angry with me.”

Reluctantly, Jongin got up from his bed and tried to put on a smile before opening his door. “Why would I be-” And there his toy was, wings broken, muddy and scratched everywhere. All of his pent-up feelings burst out, and he knew he shouldn't be yelling at his brother, but he couldn't control himself. He snatched the toy, then slammed that door in his brother's face. “Don't ever come near me again!” he shouted.

After that, Jonghun had to be confined again. Jongin was relieved for weeks, but guilt found its way to his heart. Just when he decided to apologize, he wasn't allowed to see his brother anymore.

“Y-You know,” Luhan sighs. He puts his hand on top of Jongin's and squeezes it. Jongin has been a brat ever since they met, so he really doesn't know how to deal with an Emo-Jongin. Jongin looks vulnerable like this. “We don't have to talk about it—"

“Nah, it's fine.” Jongin winks at Luhan. “Watching those two is boring anyway.”

Luhan forces a chuckle and hides it with his palm.

For days, he was entrusted to his grandmother, since his parents were always in the hospital. He was used to it, so he didn't suspect that something was up. That something was completely wrong. That's why, when his parents arrived, he thought everything was okay. But it wasn't.

His mother came to him, broken and hurt. She hugged him so tightly, that Jongin thought he couldn't breathe. “Jongin...” she breathed on his hair and repeated his name again and again, tightening her embrace as if it could shield her son from the pain and the evils of the world. But a part of her knew that she did that to keep herself grounded. She felt like being stranded in the midst of troubled waters, and Jongin was her only anchor.

And Jongin, even with his innocent mind that couldn’t understand what a weak heart meant, unfortunately wasn’t a stranger to death. They didn’t have to say senseless things, like Jonghun flew away with his angels to meet his creator. He just knew that Jonghun wouldn’t come home anymore. The room opposite to him would be empty, but this time, forever.

That night, he went to Jonghun’s room and decided to sleep there. There were scribbles and drawings on the walls and just everywhere. Even the bed’s headboard couldn’t escape those colored, jagged lines. Amongst the drawings on the wall, two particular stickmen near the bed caught his attention. One of the stickmen was holding a ball that was colored orange, so Jongin guessed it was a basketball. On top of that figure was Jonghun’s name. Tears rolled

down his face. “I’m sorry, Jonghun. Jongin was a bad hyung.” You can’t play with hyung anymore...

Wiping the tears and snot that seemed to be endlessly streaming down his face, he went to Jonghun’s study table. There, he found a paper plane. It wasn’t the usual paper plane, it was an origami, and it looked like his RC plane. Next to it was a note:

Hyung, I’m sorry. I’ll replace the plane

For the meantime, this should do it! :D

Mama helped me make this

Next time, let’s make it together!

The note was messy, and there were a lot of mistakes, but it was perfect to Jongin’s eyes. The more he looked at it, the more he felt guilty. He knew it was his fault, even though his parents would say otherwise. His brother’s condition worsened because of him. If only he had managed to become mature despite his age and take care of Jonghun, just like his father told him to do, then Jonghun would still be here.

“Then, I became distant from my parents, because I’m—”

Luhan pinches Jongin’s cheek. “Yah, Jongin. Don't put all the blame on yourself. You know that people come and go. And at that time, Jonghun had to go.”

“Sure.” Jongin takes revenge on Luhan by flicking his nose. “Jonghun had to go, but I acted as a catalyst.”

“No! Why are you so stupid?” This time, Luhan punches Jongin’s arm.

“That hurts!” Jongin whines while rubbing the aching area. “I’m not stupid. I just know what I am.”

“No, you don’t.” Luhan scrunches his nose and decides that Jongin is back to being a brat. “Anyway, just tell me where Sehun enters.”

“Ah, that. I met him in middle school.” Jongin smirks. ”Despite being totally handsome, I was being bullied.”

Luhan almost chokes on his noodles. “What the hell!”

Jongin laughs while rubbing Luhan’s back. “Language, hyung. Take it easy.”

“Shut up. Just finish your story, please. Don’t make unnecessary comments.”

“Fine.” He tousles Luhan’s hair (because it looks so fluffy). “He saved me from those bullies, okay? And, did I tell you that Jonghun looked like Sehun?”

“Really?” Luhan asks, raising his eyebrows.

Jongin nods. “Yes. They’re both huns, aren't they? Just remove the snarky attitude because my brother is an angel and make Sehun smile more... there you go, Jonghun. When I saw Sehun, I couldn’t speak for, like, hours or so. That’s why he thinks I’m dumb—”

“But you’re dumb.” Luhan says matter-of-factly. When he sees Jongin gawking at him, he laughs and pats Jongin’s head. “Just kidding~”

“The damage has been done.” Jongin folds his arms across his chest and pouts. Luhan does the same and he knows he can’t compete with that. So, he drops his act, and then reverts to the topic. “Anyway, it must be my delusion or something.” He shrugs. “But I’m not the only one. You see, when I first brought Sehun home for some group project, my mom cried and hugged him. Of course, Sehun just went with it and asked me why my mother did that. I didn’t answer him, though. Since then, I’ve rekindled my close relationship with my parents. As long as there’s Sehun...”

“People might call us delusional for thinking that my brother is living through Sehun. I don’t really care.” He smiles a little. “All I know is that Sehun is Jonghun giving me a second chance. So, even though no one requires me to do this and that—” He scratches his cheek. “Actually, I’d do anything for that kid.” He points at his best friend across the street. “...because I wasn’t able to do it for my real brother.”

“Yah... you...” Luhan can’t decide whether Jongin needs comfort, praise, or just anything. In cases like this, he feels like he’s walking on thin ice. And to be honest, he’s not that brave to take any risk. He’s afraid that the thin ice might crack under his feet. Jongin is deeper than he seems.

“Oh, look at them!”

Luhan sighs and lets himself be distracted.

Jongin bumps Luhan’s arm with his. “Do you think Sehun would do it?”

“What?!” Luhan reacts rather loudly (even the cashier eyed him) when he sees how close those two are. “Oh my god, that’s my Minseokkie!” He pulls out his phone from the pocket of his jacket and furiously types away.

Jongin tries to snatch the device, but by then, Luhan has already sent the message. “Yah! Why did you that?” He clicks his tongue once he reads what his partner-in-crime has sent. “Are you sure you’re not, in any way, interested in Minseok hyung?”

“I’m not!” Luhan defends himself. “It’s just—okay, I admit, I’m not comfortable seeing that. My motherly instincts got the better of me.”

Jongin snorts and he doesn’t know which he would do: annoy Luhan or be serious about it. And since he’s Jongin, he chooses the first one. “Motherly instincts? Oh my God, hyung... I cannot!” He manages to say in between laughs.

“Laugh all you want, brat. Take your time. I’m leaving.” Luhan stands up, but fingers curled on his wrist stop him from walking away.

Jongin offers him an apologetic smile. “I’m just messing with you, hyung.”

“Well, stop it, because my Minseokkie and your friend are making their way out of that shop.” Luhan nods at their direction to prove his point.

“Wait!” Jongin quickly wears his jacket and follows Luhan out of the store. “Where are you going?” he asks as soon as he sees Luhan walking in the opposite direction.

Luhan turns around to smirk at Jongin. “Missed me already?” A chuckle escapes his lips. “Just kidding~ I should be going, you know? I have to beat Minseokkie to our apartment. You can stalk them for me.” Before continuing his way, he hugs Jongin. He ignores the gasp he hears from the younger. “If you need anything—”

“B-But hyung you’re already—”

“I’m talking about Jongin. I’m talking about you.” He rubs the small of Jongin’s back and smiles gently. “If you ever need anything, remember, I’m just a call or a text away. I’ll be here.” He releases Jongin, then turns, because Jongin is doing that lost face again. It takes all of him not to look back, for he might not be able to leave the kid behind.

“Yeah...” Jongin breathes. “Same here, hyung...”

Jongin is lazily playing a game on his cell phone while lying down on his bed, when a message pops-up on the screen.

From: Chinese Reindeer

WHERE’S MY MINSEOKIEE???

STILL WITH SEHUN?

To: Chinese Reindeer

I don’t know. Last time I saw them, they went into a love hotel >:D

His phone buzzes in his hand a second after he pressed "send". Luhan is calling him. As soon as he hits accept, a not-so-happy (which is unusual for Luhan) voice almost shatters his eardrums.

“Get my Minseokkie! I don’t care if they’re in the middle of something, okay? Just get him!”

“Ah...” Jongin can’t speak. Well, he’s holding in his laughs. Who would have thought someone would take him seriously?

“Oh my god! For a teenager like Sehun to already get my Minseokkie?! Did that friend of yours know that I’m practically Minseok’s parent here since he’s away from home? I promised to his mother that, as long as we live under the same roof, I’ll never let Minseok do something he’ll regret for the rest of his life and—” Luhan’s panicked state is almost palpable to Jongin.

“Hyung...?” He can hear Luhan’s ragged breathing at the end of the line.

“A-and you know what? I don’t care if you see your little brother in that monster. You—you—! I’m going to kill him. And when I’m through, I’ll skin you a—”

“Calm down pretty China doll! I’m just fooling around. They didn’t do anything, okay? Remember: they’re boring as hell. They just walked, then sat next to each other while Minseok was waiting for the bus. And I know for sure that, even though Sehun watches R-rated movies, he doesn’t think about that whenever Minseok hyung is around. That guy is always busy hiding his tomato face around our teacher.” Jongin says without pause and second-thinking.

“Wait...What?! China doll—” Jongin hears a screeching of the door. “Oh! Minseok’s here, gotta go. I hate you! You’re dead to me, Kim Jongin. Bye!”

“You’re welcome, Bambi!” He manages to shout, before a continuous beep resonates from his phone.

Jongin knows that working with Luhan is the greatest and the worst decision he ever made in his life. But tonight, he’ll say it’s the greatest, since Luhan is a gullible deer and, not to mention, a cute one.

---

Let's pretend that Lei Hao Wen is Jonghun LOL 

A talk with Lulu (mini-series LOL. Don’t mind this. I’m crazy)

• Me: Wow~ Congrats! A chapter with Jonginiee~ How lucky are you Lulu?
• Lulu: Don't start with me kid.
• Me: But seriously...You're kind of sweet.
• Lulu: Of course, I am!
• Me: /pouts/ why can't you be sweet with me?
• Lulu: No comment.