A/N: Hello! I know some of you have been wondering about the story not shown at the present but I just wanted to let you know that I will be editing each of the chapters and re-uploading them because from re reading this story I have found so many errors and such so I am taking this chance to make it better for you guys. The story line will not change for those who have already read it I’m just simply enhancing it. For new readers I hope you enjoy the story and look forward to my new and improved chapters! Happy Reading!

Mornings, there's absolutely nothing I like about them. It’s not just because I’m not a morning person but when you grow up practically alone they just get progressively worse. As a child I never noticed how awful the truly were but as I gotten older my dislike for them has grown tremendously. Every morning I find myself waking up to the same old same old but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have that warm happy morning with mom in the kitchen making breakfast and dad in the living room reading the morning paper like it used to be. That will never happen though and all I can do is keep dreaming.

My mother has been gone for about thirteen years this spring and I could say dad has too because he hasn’t been the same with me ever since. She was the one person who kept our household together and the heartbreak of losing my mother was just too much to handle for my dad. In that sense I understand why he acts the way he does. I am the picture perfect copy of the woman who left him too early.

After mom's death everything changed between us. He practically neglected me as a parent but it didn’t mean I wasn’t taken care of a nanny was hired not even hours after her death. I don’t even consider him not spending time with me or not trying to take any part in my life the worst of the situation. What’s worse is that he never even looks at me unless it's one of those rare occasions when we make eye contact. Even then though all I see in his eyes is that pure resentment and disgust for me. Often times I wonder what I did that was so wrong to have my mother taken away from me and to have my father basically pretend I don't exist.

After a while you get used to it. You get used to the loneliness, the lack of care, but I still sometimes get that feeling of wanting my father back. Even now after all this time I think I will always have the desire of having someone to ask how your day was or just simply someone who relatively shows that they care whether you’re alive or dead. I guess doctors were right about a person’s childhood being the most crucial part of their life. It really does change how you are for the rest of your life.

It's sad to think the only people who comforted me and were like my family was the house keepers. They played with me outside, they made me every meal, and they took on the role of my family after the accident. They cared for me but as ungrateful as it sounds it still would never be the same as my actual family.

Every morning is the same routine but it's the only thing that seems to make me remotely happy. To have that consistency was basically my only way of acting as if everything was fine, as if everything was normal.  I’ve noticed throughout my life that I have grown terrified of any sudden changes so much to the point where I don’t know how to cope with them. It may sound extremely childish or immature but after losing my mom so suddenly I think it is only justified.

I only think that there’s one person in the world who understands that about me which would be my best friend Caroline. She's been my friend since she moved here from Australia in first grade. Which is actually the longest time I have ever been friends with someone due to my stubborn personality. She's what you could say the "Drama Queen" of the school. That alone is probably one of the reasons we are such good friends. She brings some excitement to my forever boring life. Every day she has new gossip to tell me on things like who's dating, who broke up, who's pregnant (on rare occasions), and other rumors she’s come across.

Today was different though, the moment I got on the bus I saw her staring out the window looking vaguely discontented and that's something that scares me. She's never like that. Caroline