"Is there anything you wanted to be as a kid?"

"Hm... I did want to pursue being a dancer."

"Why didn't you?"

"I thought that I probably wouldn't have succeeded if I tried. There's better people out there than me."

Kyungsoo turned his head to the side to give Kai a look of disbelief. "What are you talking about? You're amazing!"

Kai turned his head towards the boy with a soft smile. "You really think so?"

"Of course." Kyungsoo said returning the smile.

Kai felt himself smile wider as he turned his head back to looking up at the vast sky above them. They spent hours at the beach earlier and stopping at a small restaurant they found while driving around, Kai pulled them over near an empty field where they have been laying across his car's hood looking at the sky. Kai never a chance to appreciate the beauty of the sky like this before- watching the blue sky blush into crimson. It was relaxing with just the two of them, away from the main city noise, away from any distractions - just them, alone, under the changing sky, asking questions about anything and everything that came to mind.

"How did you end up working at the cafe?" Kai realized he never got to ask the boy how he ended up at his job.

“It started off as a part time while i was in college but I just got use to it so I stayed there.” Kyungsoo shrugged. “What about your job?”

“Family business you can say. But its not something I hate, it’s pretty cool I guess. I don’t really have to get up and clock in 9 to 5 like most people, so it’s pretty win-win for me.”

“Lazy .” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes with a playful smile hidden away from Kai.

“Hey, I didn’t get you to start cursing so that you would use it against me.” Kai nudged the elder in his side.

“Too bad.” Kyungsoo nudged him back.

The comfortable silence swept over them as they continued to stare up at the alternating sky.

“Hey, Jongin,” Kyungsoo called out to the younger. “How come you don’t let anyone else call you Jongin?”

Kai exhaled deeply as he ran through his mind for the best answer he could come up with. “I guess...” He started of to say, “It’s to keep people from coming in too close. If I keep Kai and Jongin separate, they can’t really get close enough to hurt me.”

Kyungsoo turned his head to look at the other boy. “Then... why do you let me call you Jongin?”

Kyungsoo felt his heart beat in anticipation and with the counting seconds that it took Kai to reply, he felt the anxiety growing, gnawing at him.

And finally, Kai turned to look at the boy directly in his eyes. “Because I wanted you to get close to me.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo’s voice was a light whisper, the emotions in him blocking his voice from speaking properly.

“Honestly, at that time... I don’t know.” Kai’s eyes scanned over the other’s facial features, they were getting hard to see with the darkening sky limiting him light to see. But regardless of the lack of light, he could still make out each and every contour of the wide-eyed male that made him feel emotions he tried to keep away. ‘I think I know why now.’

The way Kai was staring at him was too much for Kyungsoo right now. He could feel his face seering under the unwavering gaze of the latter.

“So,” Kyungsoo turned the tension in the air. “What did you come to my house for?”

“Am I not welcomed anymore? I need reasons now to visit you?” Kai feigned being hurt.

“Oh hush.” Kyungsoo hit the boy who started to snicker at the action. “It’s not everyday you open up the door to someone crying.”

Kai hummed, wordlessly looking back up at the sky. “I got a letter from my ex.”

“Baekhyun writes you letters?” Kyungsoo scrunched his brow in confusion. “I mean he could just text you but-”

“Not him silly.” Kai chuckled. “My first ex- my first boyfriend.”

Taemin.

“Oh.” Was all Kyungsoo could manage to say.

“Yeah.”

Silence.

“What did the letter say?”

"That he's been thinking about me and he left his number."

A dreading, unease emotion started to rise in Kyungsoo. ‘Does he want Kai back? Would Kai go back to Taemin if he contacted the male?’

“Were you... going to call him?” Kyungsoo asked, keeping his voice neutral from the conflicting emotions that were bubbling up, mixing together.

“I don’t know,” He really didn’t. His mind was still conflicted on the past and present feelings he harbors. “He said in the note to call if I needed closure. Closure he says.” Kai let out a bitter laugh.

“Well... do you want closure?”

“Yeah.”

“Then contact him.” It felt as if Kyungsoo was pushing Kai towards his past lover. It hurt him to do so, but it was the risk to get Kai to get over him completely or to see if they end up back together.

“I’m afraid to.” Kai admitted with a sigh.

“Why?”

“What if my emotions come back? What... what if I start to feel for him again?” Kai’s voice was soft, as soft as the emotions that he was exposing out in the open now.

“Kai,” Kyungsoo called the boy gently. “If you feel some emotion, then it’s normal. You can never forget your first love completely, even if you tried to. The memory of someone you loved deeply will forever be in your heart and that’s something that can’t be changed.”

Kai locked eyes with Kyungsoo, even through the now dark, he could see clearly those eyes that promised him truth, that promised him comfort, that made him feel like he could trust the older in anything he says.

“I guess you’re right.” Kai looked up to the twinkle stars that lit across the dark sky.

“Of course I’m right.” Kyungsoo said matter-of-factly, earning a playful nudge from the other that sent them both smiling. “By the way...”

“Hm?” Kai turned his attention back over the his hyung.

“What... made you guys break up? You and your ex boyfriend.”

Silence.

Silence filled the air as Kai started intently toward the other before looking up in thought. The silence was slowing peeling away at Kyungsoo, making him regret even speaking aloud the quest, but he had to know. Why exactly did the two break up?

“Well,” Kai broke the silence. “Remember that in your story about Jonghyun when you were talking about the guy you bumped into in the bathroom that was sitting at the table with him later?”

“Yeah?”

“That was me.”

Kyungsoo gaped, a fervent blush of embarrassment flushed across his face and he was glad the darkness shrouded his features. “That was you?! This is so embarrassing! You saw me break down and oh my gosh.” Kyungsoo groaned as Kai laughed besides him.

“It’s okay hyung, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. From what I remember, I thought you had a lovely voice back then.” He poked his hyung’s side, laughing when his hand was smacked away. “But yeah. That night was the anniversary night for my ex, Taemin and I. I thought that things would only get better after that night, we had a whole future ahead of us together. Well, that’s what I thought at least.”

Kai closed his eyes as the memories came back to him as if the happened yesterday. “He always made me promise random things during the time. ‘Promise you will find love after me if we ever break up.’ ‘Promise me that you won't be a heartbreaker in the future if we break up. Help people find love instead  until you find your own.’ ‘Promise me to always have banana milk stocked in the fridge so that I can drink it whenever I visit you.’”

Kai chuckled at the memories. “He was so random, but I loved him. Every little detail of him. I didn’t think much behind the meanings of his words, he always spoke whatever came to his mind. So naturally when I made all these promises, I didn’t think much of them. They were promises I planned to keep nonetheless.”

Kyungsoo sat in silence as he listened to the latter pour out his emotions.

“He started to make less and less time for me. He responded to text messages less and less, or phone calls grew short