Party time! (Part 1)

The Cute Panda Boy

The next day, 

To: The cool group

From: The troll king

Guys I think I want to postpone the lunch thingy to dinner and I will do it like a party. Girls don't forget to bring your siblings tonight. Kris you can save your money.Bye.

That night,

Minzy and Bom's brothers arrived at the same time. They walk inside the house and bow to everyone. They get a glass of water and sit on the couch. Chen walked to Sehun and Kai and a bro fist. They are friends since childhood. Meanwhile, Luhan, Lay and D.O is talking to each other. They had been friends since diapers.

Few minutes later, CL and Dara's brother's arrived. They went in and bow. They walk to their groups and began to talk.

The 4 girls go to the boys dorm wearing something boyish since the party is full of boys. Chen checked at the living room weather everyone is arrived.

"Let's start the party!" Chen shouted.  

They begin to start the party. He switch on the music. 2NE1's fire.

"Guys let's do dance competition, singing competition and rap competition." Dara shouted.

"OK." Everyone said.

Dancing competition: Lay vs Kai vs Minzy

Singing competition: Chen vs Luhan vs D.O vs Baekhyun

Rappng competition: Chanyeol vs Kris vs CL

The competition started. The dancers are very good. They have their own popping skill. Next is the singing competition. Chen have the most powerful voice. Now is the rapping competition part. When Kris is rapping Tao just stared at him.

Tao POV

Oh My God, Kris is just so awesome in rapping. Should I confess to him? Ottokhae? Kris why you have to be that handsome when rapping? Ahhhh. I think I should confess to him. Why am I so sweaty? Oh God. Zitao just relax and confess to him after this rapping competition. Zitao Fighting.

End of Tao's POV

"Ge you OK?" Minzy asked

"Huh?...I'm OK. Just tired." He lied.

"But I saw you smiling and staring at Kris. You like Kris is it?"

"Aniya."

"OK"

The rapping competition just finished and Tao walked towards Kris. 

"Yes?" Kris asked

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Annyeong. Is this chapter OK? Please comment

 

 

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6November1990 #1
Chapter 23: Yay!!! So ur P6 too. Finally, someone who understands how I feel...
rainydots #2
OMG TAO AND 2NE1! Looks interesting!
Wushupandabear #3
Chapter 2: Ahhhh, you put B.A.P and EXO together. I'm dead.
Totomatoes #4
Chapter 12: Okay since it's just an opinion, please don't hate me.

Your story is kind of plain. I mean, sure there were grammar mistakes but I could care less about that. I'm not a grammar nazi. Anyway, (IN MY OPINION PLEASE DON'T KILL ME) when I read, I didn't see the true flow of the story in my head. It sounded and seemed monotonous. I imagined them doing and talking with poker faces. The events and the flow are too fast, you weren't able to show the development of the characters' feelings and thoughts. I'm not being mean, I just want to help. I know I'm not even a writer, but I like reading :) And I'm happy to read other people's stories.

I hoped I helped, I'm not sure if you're my dongsaeng or hyung. But really, I know my opinion hurt you, even if I tried not to, but my intention was to help. (I'm really worried if you're angry or upset about this)

Please don't take it too hard. Uhm... do your best in your stories :) Don't give up and take care of yourself!! (It's off topic and I sound like a mom)

So uhm... yeah. My opinion... uhh… yeah. *awkward cough*
MaeYoung04
#5
Chapter 10: puhlease upeudateu unnie~!
bobbymbap
#6
Chapter 10: miss 2nexo im your unnie and i command u to update more xie cie kamsahanmida
chunjoe1004 #7
nice story!
bobbymbap
#8
Chapter 8: update more
MaeYoung04
#9
Chapter 7: too many updates in one day dude~