We found a boy (Part 1)

The Cute Panda Boy

Bom, CL, Dara and Minzy are walking along the street. The street is very quiet. While they were walking and talking, Minzy saw there’s a black thing inside a big box at the side of the street. She asked the other three girls to look at it. When they open the box there’s a boy sitting in the box. They were shocked and fell down. Then Bom stand up and asked him.

 

“What’s your name?” she asked in Korean.

 

“....”

 

He looked like Chinese so she decided to asked him in Chinese.

 

“What’s your name?” she asked in Chinese.

 

“My name is Tao.” he answered.

 

“Bom unnie, why are you speaking Chinese?” CL asked.

 

“He didn’t know any Korean words.” she answered.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Tao we will take you home. Stand up.” Bom said.

 

“I don’t want to go home.”

 

“Why? Your parents will miss you.” 

 

“I woke up and I’m here.”

 

“Never mind we will take you to our house.”

 

“OK.”

 

While they were walking, they are asking Tao something. If the three girls wanted to ask something they will ask Bom to transalate it.

 

 

.....

 

They arrived at their dorm. Minzy knock the door and Kris open the door and they walk in.

 

“Minzy ah, who is that guy.” Chen whispered.

“Oh yeah, I forgot. Guys, this is Tao. We found him in the box at the street nearby. If you want to communicate with him, you need to talk in Mandarin because he don’t understand Korean.”

 

“OK Tao, this is Kris, this is Chen, this is Lay, this is Minzy, this is CL, this is Dara and I’m Bom.” 

 

“Kris can you show him this dorm and lend him your clothes.” Dara asked.

 

“OK.”

 

......

 

“Tao, here is the clothes and take shower.” Kris said and give him the clothes.

 

“Errr..... how old are you?” Tao asked.

 

“I’m 23 years old. How about you?”

 

“I’m 20.”

 

“Oh. You can call me Kris Gege if you want.”

 

“OK. Kris gege.”

 

“Wait, can you speak Korean?”

 

“A bit but not so fluent but Ge can you teach me some of Korean words?”

 

“OK. Gege will teach you later.”

 

“Thanks gege.”

 

.....

 

Everyone is in the living room watching some random stuff.

 

“Oh, who will he sleep with tonight?” CL asked.

 

“He will sleep with Kris.” Bom said.

 

“Why? Why he sleep with Kris?” Chen asked.

 

“So he can teach him Korean.” Minzy said.

 

“I’m also good in Korean.” Chen said.

 

“Kris is fluent in Mandarin and Korean but you’re not fluent in your Mandarin. How can you tell him the meaning.” Bom said.

 

“Fine, fine, fine. You win this time Duizhang.” Chen said.

....

 

Tao has finished taking shower and walk to the living room. The 4 girls has went back to their dorm. Their dorm is on the same level but different rooms. 

 

“Tao, you’re sleeping in the same room as me tonight.” Kris said.

 

“OK.”. Tao said.

 

“Oh Tao, you can called me, Kris and Lay ‘gege’.” Chen said.

 

“OK.” Tao said.

 

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6November1990 #1
Chapter 23: Yay!!! So ur P6 too. Finally, someone who understands how I feel...
rainydots #2
OMG TAO AND 2NE1! Looks interesting!
Wushupandabear #3
Chapter 2: Ahhhh, you put B.A.P and EXO together. I'm dead.
Totomatoes #4
Chapter 12: Okay since it's just an opinion, please don't hate me.

Your story is kind of plain. I mean, sure there were grammar mistakes but I could care less about that. I'm not a grammar nazi. Anyway, (IN MY OPINION PLEASE DON'T KILL ME) when I read, I didn't see the true flow of the story in my head. It sounded and seemed monotonous. I imagined them doing and talking with poker faces. The events and the flow are too fast, you weren't able to show the development of the characters' feelings and thoughts. I'm not being mean, I just want to help. I know I'm not even a writer, but I like reading :) And I'm happy to read other people's stories.

I hoped I helped, I'm not sure if you're my dongsaeng or hyung. But really, I know my opinion hurt you, even if I tried not to, but my intention was to help. (I'm really worried if you're angry or upset about this)

Please don't take it too hard. Uhm... do your best in your stories :) Don't give up and take care of yourself!! (It's off topic and I sound like a mom)

So uhm... yeah. My opinion... uhh… yeah. *awkward cough*
MaeYoung04
#5
Chapter 10: puhlease upeudateu unnie~!
bobbymbap
#6
Chapter 10: miss 2nexo im your unnie and i command u to update more xie cie kamsahanmida
chunjoe1004 #7
nice story!
bobbymbap
#8
Chapter 8: update more
MaeYoung04
#9
Chapter 7: too many updates in one day dude~