I walked to class with Byungee, we were both silent as we walked. I didn't know what to say. Everything felt so sudden and I was confused. I felt as if I was betraying Kibum, but I knew, that I needed someone right now. And that's why Byunghee is here...
"Jinki?"
"Yeah..."
"Are you okay?...you seem really out of it."
"Well..yeah, I guess you could say that." I said in monotone.
"Jinki..please, it's been a year already."
"I-I know..but, I guess I don't know what to do..."
"I know..come to my place, after school at 6."
"Why?"
"You'll see." He said as he dropped me off at me class.
I looked at him with confusion as he waved goodbye to me. Tonight..at his dorm? i knew he didn't share it with anyone and that it was one of the private dorms that were separated from us. Kinda like an apartment complex type of thing. It was because he was older and that he had a paying job and could afford it. And, his parents didn't want him home, ever again.

I showed up right at 6 and paced back and forth for about....20 minutes. I didn't know whether of not i should go in or shouldn't. I weighed everything. He was my first love, but I love Kibum. There's a chance that Kibum will give up on me, since he hasn't written to me in a year. I guess I didn't want to move on. I still wanted my Kibum back. I didn't know what to do. Was I afraid? Or did I just not want to?...
"Jinki!" Byunghee yelled as he opened the door, " I was wondering where you were!"
"Oh..y-yeah.. I was too..." I said sheepishly.
"Jinki..that doesn't even make any sense... come in It's cold." He welcomed me in.
his apartment/dorm was nice. It was all white. With a white couch and and medium sized tv sitting across from it on a wooden table. He had a lot of books in his book shelves. They were black and next to the sliding doors that led to a small balcony. To the right of the doors was his bedroom and to the left was the bathroom. I looked to the left and saw his kitchen. It had black fake marble tops and black cabinets. I saw the teapot on.
"So...you were going to leave...when your teapot was on...?"
"oh!" He looked at the stove, "I guess..I almost did." He ran and shut the boiling water off.
"Byunghee..you never learn."
"What makes you say that?" He said as he poured himself some tea, "Want some?"
I nodded as I sat at the table in the corner, "Remeber the time when we were little, you and I were going to the park, and you left the hose on?"
"Well, thats not-"
"And," I held up my finger to stop him," You left the tv on and the game system, and you put the microwave on for 20 minutes for ONE potatoe, nearly starting a fire."
"Okay, okay I get it...I leave stuff on." He smiled at me as he handed me my cup. He motioned to the couch and I followed.
We sat next to eachother, close, but I didn't want to...Well I wanted to, but I can't admit to myself that I did.
"Jinki? Please, why don't you love me? I-I don't know what else to do... I'm trying to be there for you, I know I can't replace Kibum, but Jinki...I really to truely love you. I want you, to love me too. But I don't know what else you want me to do..." He sighed.
"I-I don't want you to do anything. It's just me, I-I don't know what to do. You aren't doing anything wrong. Byunghee, I guess..I'm just still struggling."
"Jinki...I want to be there for you. To make up for all those years I lost, because I was stupid."
"I-I...I don't know..what to do..." I looked at my hands, holding my cup.
Byunghee was silent, I was afraid I might have upset him. So I looked up at him. He was looking at me, staring at me. But he wasn't giving me an angry glare, it was a pleading stare. Full of sadness and forgiveness.
"Byunghee...what's wrong?"
"I know what you should do...that might help..."
"What?"
"Kiss me." He said. I could see he was dead serious, and I didn't want to say anthing that might upset him. I couldn't say no, but it didn't feel right to say yes.
I gave him a the pleading stare back.
"B-byunghee, I-I..."
"Please, just this."
I sighed as I put my coffee cup on the table. I tried looking past him, so I was looking at the doors leading to the small balcony. It was raining out, like how I felt inside...
I slowly leaned into him and closed me eyes as he leaned closer.

I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through me as our lips touched. His lips were warm, just like the first time he kissed me. I missed the warmth, I kept trying to resist myself, I tried, but I knew i couldn't help it, I was craving it. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer and deepening our kiss. I wanted to pull away, but I didn't, because deep down, I knew i wanted this, i wanted him...

As we kissed, he laid me down on the couch, pushing me into the soft cushions. I let out a yelp as he kissed me harder and and ground against me. I moaned. I was so mixed up. My body wanted him..so bad. He began to nip my neck and rub my sides.
"P-please..Byunghee..I..I can't. Please." I panted as he looked me in my eyes.
"P-please I can't...I'm not ready..."
He leaned back and looked at me, "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm moving too fast. Forgive me Jinki."
I looked at him. He was just excited to finally be with me, and I was just as equally excited to see him. The boy, who i thought was dead, was alive and finally in my arms. But could I ever get over the feeling, of losing Kibum?

Um...i dunno is they should have ....like.....yeahhh...