Should I or Should not?
My shining star.Minseok smiles when Luhan ask him. He doesn't response to his question. ''Not a thing.''
''Hey, tell me about it.''
He put the bracelet in the pocket once again, ''We should go now.'' he smiles and stands up; picking up his books.
He walks to the bus stop without wait for Luhan. ''Yah, wait for me!'' Luhan shouts.
It has been two weeks you have not talk to him. It is really hurt to see you and him become a stranger. You never thought this day would come. You know, you can't avoid him forever so you decide to meet with him.
''Is it good idea to be honest with him?'' you mumble to yourself. Unsure to approach him or not.
Your heart say no but your mind say yes and finally you did it. You can't wait any longer.
You text him, ''Minseok-ah. Can we meet after class?''
But no response from him.
It's a bit hurt when someone you are close with ignore it when you know he is already read it.
Its already 4 p.m and your phone vibrate. It is a text from him. ''Sure. Meet me at your port.''
You are happy that he is agree to meet you.
So, after class. You go there and wait for him. You are so nervous of what are you going to say to him. You are afraid it might getting worsen than before.
''Hi'' Minseok approaches from back.
''Hi'' you response nervously.
''Have a sit.'' you offer him.
When he sits, both of you are quite. Both of you don't know what to say, not like before. You take a deep breath and let out.
''Minseok.'' you call his name as you break the silence.
''First of all, I am sorry. I really sorry.''
''No, need to say sorry for that.''
''To be honest Minseok-ah, I do realise that I have hurt you; hurt you as hell. But, its happened. My feeling for Jongdae; day by day have become more serious and serious ....''
''Why are you telling me this?''
You look at him, ''.. because I can't stand not talking to you. You are the first person I talked to when I'm here, you always there for me. It's hurt me when you are avoiding me after that day. It hurts me more when we both are not talking like we used to. I hate the fact we both are stranger in front of people. I seriously hate it. I know, I might be selfish but this is real. Even though I might don't have special feeling for you but you are my best guy friend! I...
''...I-I-I-I- I don't want to lose you.'' you let everything out as you cried. You can't stop your tears.
He quite suprises when you are crying. Out of sudden, he hugs you.
Yes, you long his hug so much. The warm embraces when you need someone.
''Hey, I won't leave you. Yes, you are very selfish. You want him and you want me too. But too bad, he win and I lose.'' he laughs as he taps your back.
You still can't stop crying. The burden; the guilty you keep before this finally has gone after you be honest with him.
''It is true that I avoid from you. I don't want to see you frequently because I might like you more. But now, I have to keep use to it.''
You break the hug, ''no, You never lose okay. You're the best. and I miss you, Minseok-ah!'' You hug him back.
He laughs.
You would go to Busan twice a month when you miss your grandpa. You go to the beach where it was the last time you were with him.
''Grandpa.''
''How I wish you are here and listen to my problem.''
''You always said to me; when you have make a decision, be confident with it. If God's will, the result will be positive and if it is not, be positive too. That's life.''
''And Grandpa.''
''I think I have make decision.''
''Although I quite nervous at first, the result is positive.''
''Thanks goodness, I won't lose Minseok.''
''I love them both, Grandpa.''
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